Am I delusional? - Hidden Fun Stuff
I might not be alone with this ... feeling or ... let's call it a condition for now. Yet it might affect everyone differently;
And that in a way that has us be pissed off at each other for some reason. I so for my part keep coming back to the Matrix
Phenomenon thing - wondering about why, for all I know, nothing has come of it so far. I keep wondering about what people might
think, what theories there are - but at the end of the day I conclude that it's all nonsense given a) the amount of stuff I've
done and b) the fact that it's relatively easy to debunk my claim. And there I see one of those ... nonsense issues. Like, say,
it wouldn't be worth the effort to debunk me. That sounds reasonable - until you see it from my end, which is where I have to
say that you CAN'T debunk me - because there's nothing to be debunked. And that's the kind of stuff that drives me nuts. I have
to believe, somehow, that people are stuck on something along those lines - and I'm so used to nothing happening that it would
surprise me if that were to change.
Legitimately. Except ... that ... well ... 'any day now'. ...
"Except today" ... I suppose.
But more to the point am I thinking of that picture of that cloud I shared as opener to "the Experiment". There so is an event
that tells a conclusive story. So, I'm not delusional - it's just that these kinds of "freak accidents" keep happening to me -
telling a kind of story that lines up with the stuff I believe in ... but, because I seem to be the only one believing these
things ... it's ... so far just stuck there in my own bubble. For all I know.
And so the experiment didn't change much about it. I may feel a certain way about things - but at the end of the day I might just
be suggestible to my own stuff/nonsense, as it were. While I have an objectively real example, but am not sure of the things
in between the visible, I'm lost not knowing what to think of any of it. And that's pretty much what I think ... makes up a huge
part of the mess we're in - where, everyone has different "anchors" in reality - and beyond that some are more and other's less
stubborn about the uncertainties in-between.
The Magic Book
So, one thing ocurred to me after I had bound my first book. It felt good to have it. Another thing ocurred to me after I had bound
my second book. And that was ... that this book ... is different. Or so it seems. It would seem as though this book contains the
power of the Matrix, we might say. In as far as I am the anomaly - regarding the Matrix Phenomenon - this book sotospeak contains
enough of my identity, relative to God, for it to ... effectively hold a part of that "spark".
I am however not sure how far that goes or what it entails. And for reasons briefly touched upon above - there's this, let's call it:
"Adversarial Reasoning" - the brief of which is: Closed minded narration and engagement, hijacking of the topics to lend credibility to
any counter narrative (i.e.: Demanding a counter to the counter, thus "invalidating" the original statement) - as to so generally
evade the issue while pushing an alternative narrative that isn't in and of itself valid, but as accepted counter narrative to the
one provided. Such and such. And to that end ... there's no winning the debate. Not if it were up to "them". To say, what I have to say
about it, what my narrative holds - would be irrelevant because it's just one more thing to ignore.
And that is the brief of it. I have a sentence and the rest is chaos - give or take.
And I've been thrown off by that - in my own reasoning - as I had to learn that ... there's no way to "gotcha" people who are subscribed
to stupid takes. And I've been saying it for a while now; And it always kinda hurt to do so; But at the end of the day, it's best to
then just ignore them. It hurt because it's against ... the spirit of producing an open and inclusive society. At least in the first
instance of the principle. So, obviously there is nuance to that, but for what I'm concerned about here - there are those that have
to be canceled from that realm of reasoning. With that on mind, let's return to the topic.
Given all the possibilities I've come to think of, as for what people might be making of it, I have to stand in for my own. That other
stuff is potentially going to pop up anyway - and to maintain a strong focus on the actual truth, seems to be a winning strategy.
But ... here's a little ... bit of a spoiler I guess: For the Matrix Phenomenon magic to work, your mind/cognition has to be a part of it. So,
let's say a "bleep bloop" sound is happening - your mind would generally recognize it as pertaining to what- or whereever it comes from. People
who fight with psychosis or delusions ... might recognize it as pertaining to something totally different; Per chance far outside of the realms
of reason and rationality. Or you're immersed in some thoughts ... and the bleep bloop comes as a distraction. Maybe like a smoke-bomb because
whatever it seemed to "confirm" is now "tainted". For me however, to have a free will and be 'the Anomaly', my normal cognitive functions need
to be warped to some extent; Such that my thoughts and impulses line up with ... "the wave" let's call it. And here's the thing: Whenever I write
of that sort of thing, I need you to understand that God can work through us, without us even recognizing that. And I suppose it's a huge point
of contention - especially for armchair psychologists that wanna scream delusion at everything that doesn't meet their standards of sanity.
And I guess that's however so the thing now. "The wave" - or "what it's like". So that the bleep bloop will simply pertain to the book, per chance,
My hope then is, that given enough exposure, people will have a personally lived experience to talk about the matrix phenomenon from. Maybe it
even works to do some matrixing effects. You'll have to check that out for yourself. With that lived experience, you can be scientifically cocky
when it comes to challenging a conclusion, or whatever. And I'm sure there are plenty of smart people who ... maybe even already know that.
People who came to the right conclusions because critical thinking works actually.
In other words: Of course you'll need something for the effect to happen. Some music, some show or movie - whatever. And with that, you'll then
make the corresponding experiences. One being, that the effect is strong enough to imply some kind of live interactive meta-power thing going
on; But because the effect is dependent on happenstance rather than an actual interactive environment - that bubble is going to pop ever so often.
Something you would want to get a hang on, is your own independence versus a growing dependency on environmental factors. So, to come back to the
bleeps and bloops - as the magic does its thing, you might effectively start to hop onto the wave and in a sense ... try to anticipate the bleeps
and bloops; As perhaps based on some inner need to have it be confirmed. And it's not entirely wrong. When going for matrixing effects for instance,
there is ... some way to feel for the convergences. For sure. The timing then is simply a matter of "the divine jolt" let's call it. However, it
is still ... a noobish mistake ... because the magic doesn't happen, per se, when you try to anticipate the bleeps and bloops. It happens when you
'(re)claim your independence'. So, when you are at your "you-est" - when you defy what you think the wave is - effectively - so that the divine has
the chance to "gotcha" on that end.
Something else I've noticed so far is, that this effect may work like a sponge for bad mojo. That, because the book will try to maintain its top-spot,
thus sending all thing unworthy of it into some negative space.
As for the Ultimate Probability
What I have to notice is, that thinking of the book is enough for these things to start happening.
So, you don't even have to print it. But ...
obviously ... that's where things be going. So, it's a teaser, of sorts, we might say. Teasing you to get the real deal for an enhanced effect.
In that regard, strange things have happened while I was binding the XNG+DFA combo. Well. I'm not sure if it's generally an XNG thing, but it has
... like ... thorns, we might say. Say, it's not ... perfect. Anyway, I'd hurt myself - but well. So, I came to the part where the XNG quires got
bound to the DFA quires - and everything was fine - but still some skepticism over whether or not the two are suited to be combined that way did
grow - to a point where I per chance even felt like ripping the thing apart. And I guess, having the two separate is definitely nice. Because you
can individually play around with them. However - these doubts, against combining the two, are like bubbles that grow; Around whatever conceived
impurity or what have you. But you can lean against them. And then the opposite will happen. Those bubbles will become like glue rather than pockets
of TNT - as it were.
Whether you might come to that point of experience or not, it's still worth mentioning I think - as ... well, I guess for once it gives you some
close up insight into the kinds of challenges I have to deal with. To not say that whatever I do is basically just ... devoid of difficulty and
challenge. And that then also applies to working with God in general. If He does or doesn't do something - that is a He thing - whether we get it or
not is secondary.
And when things go smooth for a while, it can be a bit unsettling when it doesn't. Or the other way around ... I assume.
In closing: You can merge the individual quire PDFs into one PDF ... if you want to print the whole thing in one go. Color prints can be somewhat
expensive - so I think that eventually it'll be best to pitch into buying printer cartridges to just take it for as far as it goes.
And the rest, I suppose, is up to you. Have a nice time! And may the Eternal Peace guide our paths!