The Truth about the Four Horsemen - sortof, and stuff

Well ... . Earlier today, perhaps yesterday, I had this thing on my mind that I thought I should write about; But ... now it's gone and there's this other thing on my mind that I think I should write about. Maybe I'll come around to the other thing in the process.

So ... on and off I have these things going on in my head. Like, in case I get to write about stuff that gets you to wonder how I know about it - I'd say that I don't. I just happen to have these things going on in my head that ... sometimes leave me no choice but to consider them more seriously.

This time however, I'm ... like ... setup to be a bit more lose about it. So, these things - at times - are like theatre. They might be memories - from a past life - but they really don't feel like it. They're like stage plays, where some situation will pop up in my head; Led by some strong implication that guides the play. Possibly something akin to memories is triggered by that - but, whatever memories there might be ... isn't relevant. But, I guess these plays might be retellings of things that happened.

So, the implication ... is like a trigger. It's like ... it sparks my imagination - which is also why I try to not put too much emphasis on these things. This time around it was once more ... Jesus speaking to his disciples about the road ahead. Which is like ... an implication those immortals that the Bible mentions at some point.
And so, Jesus being God and all that would know really well what would come and how they might best behave. He thereby specifically talking to them and not me - because I'd have some special other role that ... He I guess liked to keep shrouded in mystery. It wouldn't be of much help to them anyway.

So - these things then ever so often revolve around strategy. Not that it happens a lot - but so far enough for me to have some familiarity with it. The stage there is, that Jesus was about to leave us here; And we'd have to go forth and rely more so on God within us. And from what the Bible says - and Him being around (though for now it's more important that we today can also know as much) - we know that some great Evil would emerge to try and consume the world. Or how to put it. And these strategies revolve a lot around that - and how to navigate it. Because - the desciples ... they wouldn't just be there chilling; Although that would for sure be part of the challenge. They'd eventually start business and stuff - enough so that the Antichrist might take at least some notice. Whether he'd think it's us or not is irrelevant - as he'd just have a general desire to claim the world; And anything that would stand against that ... would eventually come to "suffer the brunt of his ambition".

Now, this particular stage play I'm writing about here, it pretty much revolves around letting things go. To not try and resist, give or take - but to look for the opportunity to abandon ship. As it says that there's always a way, God would so ... provide. And that would eventually amount to as much as a nuisance for the Antichrist. That we be like cockroaches. And sure, eventually he'd notice - but, so the story went, by the time he'd be capable of mounting a serious opposition; I'd be popping up doing my thing. Whatever that might be. I mean, sure - I'd be a presence that he could ignore less and less. And I'm sure I've also been told as much as that he'd try to cast me into insignificance; As Isaiah already foretold; And that I'd be really annoyed about it and stuff - and that he'd feast on that upsetness of mine ... but alas - eventually I'd be big enough of a deal so he'd have to divert his attention. Effectively fighting a war on two fronts ... and that's eventually where things would start falling apart for him.

More to the point: He'd get more and more angry - and also, well, desperate. Maybe not the kind of desperation that someone fighting for survival might experience, but more so the kind of desperation someone experiences when trying to get rid of a nuisance that just won't disappear. And that's where he'd be growing more aggressive - which is now where the horsemen come in.
Well, the fourth one in particular.

So, the thing is that this whole prophecy stuff - I guess we could call it a hobby of his. Or an undertaking. To, well, undermine it. To understand it. To be smarter about it than everyone else. Or so, to outsmart God. To use His tools or weapons against Him. At least it is so as implied by the things going on in my head.
So - one obvious thing would be to just not do the things he's implied to do. Or so - more to the point - to not be implied with those things. To then also try to catch others in the things he's supposed to be implicated within ... so ... really basic stuff we might say.
I mean - the logical stuff ... that any atheist would come up with off of the top of their heads when trying to debunk this stuff.

However ... when looking at the first horseman, Victory, it's not so easy to avoid it. While having a plan that's supposed to succeed - and undertaking it to ... do so. And sure - the strategy that Jesus shared might help towards it ... and yea, the further down we go that road, the more 'inevitabilities' we find. I mean, if for instance - by some happenstance - he'd use his power and influence to ... we might say "cheat" a little (monkey business), we're entering the scope of bullshit artistry that only would have to work out really well to ... lead us to the next thing. Why? Well, it's not that important right now.
So - all he'd have to do ... to avoid the prophecy or how to put it ... is to then also go and try to bullshit everything. So also the oil and the wine as it were. Which ... sure, we can see all the "success" of. But it still doesn't change that ... the public, or the population for that matter, isn't like responsive to EVERYTHING. But, as for the next part, he simply would have to ... not do stuff with animals. At least not ... what is implicated. Because - if he doesn't, and the four horsemen are after all about what he does, we'd be stuck wondering what up with that! Though we might also wonder ... why it matters. Or why we should care.

I mean, at any rate ... the Horsemen aren't really 'him' per se. Or them. They're more of an abstract thing - though "he" or "whoever", 'they', is/are still heavily implicated therein. It's portraid as a consequence of or response to the lamb opening the seven seals. And - in part - it is heavily implied that God also has a causal relationship to those events outside of merely opening a seal. As is implied when saying things like "giving success".

Now, why? Generally I'd think in terms of: It has to happen. But why? I'd think ... to bloat someone's (singular or plural) ego ... until it pops perhaps. To say, I ... don't know. But as for my personal satisfaction, it has usually helped to look at the other side of it. Not the parts that God does - but the parts that we do.
Well. I mean ... though there's still a huge blind-spot that we might speak of, there's still someone's plan to outsmart God; To conquer the world - and perhaps more importantly: The lengths they are willing to go to.

I mean, as far as the things in my head are concerned, being put into a position of power was or is like ... one of "his" greatest excuses as to why he does or did the things he do. It's the tale of trusting someone you really shouldn't. Where the untrustworthy person would tell is as being a failure or fault of the person who did the trusting. And as the story goes, there also is no point in arguing. Because ... that's why one shouldn't have trusted that person in the first place. It's like ... giving someone the power to get away with ... let's say: Anything ... would encourage some people to actually do try to get away with anything. And yet ... as a lot of stories go ... not everyone would approach this as some kind of stress test. Some might also come to wonder what good it would be to like "own the world".
Which is then like ... the story of Job. Where so in the idea, or the stage play, God and the Devil - or say: Angels - are looking at us mortals, curious of our ways.

And I suppose, that also rubs the one or the other person the wrong way. I mean "tell me about it". I mean ... about God appearing as though He treated us badly. Or so, to go beyond that, of all the freedom I would have if I ... turned against Him. Trying to teach Him the error of His ways. And yea, maybe ... maybe I might actually be able to convince Him. As it stands however, I have no grounds on which to try to convince Him. Which means that I won't. Or else I wouldn't be the one ... whom He might listen to. Which means ... it's totally unimportant. As it stands I'd probably get Him really sad and/or upset - and we might have to chew through this nonsense another day.

I mean ... speaking of the Horsemen ... what was it called again? The big mystery? The question of the ages? I don't remember exactly. The question for why we're here - and why evil has the power to challenge the good; Such that there is a war to begin with. And yea, it would seem as though providing an answer to that question is very much a part of that struggle. And to my understanding a huge part of it boild down to ... wether or not we're willing to accept its existence. And that might entail understanding how comes it is a thing in the first place. Like, is it because God wanted it to be? And sure we might shift the blame on Him - arguing that He could ... make it go away. Which eventually takes us to the lamentations of the wicked - and the tremendous burden placed upon them to ... not be wicked. I mean, in a way it's like ... the same ask either way around. Except ... consequences stack up differently.

Uhm ... well. So - the riddle of the sages ... or what's it called, if you asked me - since a few moments ago where I had some time to reflect upon it as based on the things I wrote here: I trust God. I trust Him with Everything. But sometimes ... my nature gets the better part of me. Which is to say that I'm stubborn. That is, once I have my sight set on a thing - and I don't understand whatever it is that God wants me to understand - I ... just keep going. It's like I'm deaf. And that's how come I know that I'm stubborn. Because I therefore arrive at those points where I must realize that there wasn't any real wisdom to it. That I was just ... stupid. But ... I can't really help it. What I can, or could do - and did - is to learn from it; Perhaps to recognize when I'm just being stubborn again, but also to adjust my stubborness accordingly. Which is, to trust in God.
The thing is that those consequences aren't always like ... "broken leg" - I mean, I think I'm beyond fucking around to find out. More often than not it's that I arrive at some point and find that God already prepared an out for me. And that humbles me. Like ... "[whistles a tune] leeeeet's pretend this never happened". And I think I'm not the only one to get that. It's not special treatment - as much as ... that I didn't fuck around so I'd have to find out. It's just ... well, me being human I suppose.

As for what special treatment is to be implied therein, the thing is that ... all of it might be somehow ... that, still. Like, as I'm special, every treatment is special treatment. But for once it's not a one way road; And also comes with certain expectations. Which too ... goes both ways.

Within all that the thing is that I regard God to be a fair and loving being. It might not always show in ways that we recognize or understand. And sure, with enough cynicism we can make it seem as though that that were all that mattered. That our individual understanding is paramount to the Universe.
"But how could I ...?" - well, to not pull the paradise card ... that's ... probably my own business. How could I not? What?

Be upset that I'm not rich or famous or beyond reproach?
Or, how about - being upset at God for some douchebag and his gang of [bleeps] trying to undermine my every effort at making my own work count the way I think it should?

Well - sure; I think - and it gets repetitive and just as annoying to keep coming back to it - He allowed certain things to be so that ... one might say I also get impacted negatively. But how is anyone of them to look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that it's not them I should be upset about?

Well - though I was born with a condition we might call "not looking the way I'd want to look", I don't think it quite compares to other conditions that people get born with that don't fall into this category. So, yea - fine. They aren't the sole reason for all the suffering in this world. And I suppose we also don't really know enough to say something about who does or doesn't do what to make things any better.
So ...

There's stuff going on in my head. And ... on and off that takes me to some insight. But an end of it? A conclusion? Peace? No. It's usually just more of the same. An attempt of my mind perhaps to make sense of why things are the way they are. And there's just ... a lot. Too much perhaps. Like here's a thing:

The Illusion of Unity: Real Unity is an illusion, in the sense that true one-ness isn't something I think we can expect. Well, unless we want to count unity by God - but, that's beside the point. What we can do is agree on things. And it is by such agreements that we can enter some ideological state of unity. And here some points would matter more - other's less - and we might all have slightly different priorities when it comes to that.
And the same also applies to unity with God. Outside of the "physical" unity with Him that permeates all of existence. Between what God thinks is right and true and fair - and what we individual think is right and true and fair ... we can come to the same or different conclusions. At the end of the day however, our behavior - as in how we interact with each other - is as much as a basis we can agree with regardless of ideology. So is true unity more like a harmony; Where harmony also isn't ... a matter of perfect synchronicity - like a sine-wave perhaps. It comes with a lot of back and forth though.

And yea - we can invoke God to make some statement about what He does or doesn't do; Where eventually there are like two camps. On one side there would be those that would argue that we should come together in refusal of God - and on the other side there's me, for once; Which probably means that I'm biased somehow. Because I'm not "impartial". But ... if you're wondering about some conclusion to this - some final convincing argument to take you to my side ... well; I'm not sure. But ... I'm under the impression that listening to 'them' for a while might help.
I mean ... I suppose we're like ... maybe like asking too much appearing like out of nowhere; Being thereby in a bit of a difficult position when it comes to talking of trust and good and evil. And the thing is, even the universal and absolute things are just relative ... to an individual's comprehension. So, it's hard to say even whether or not we should apologize; And if so ... how much and for how long.
I mean - my own perspective might not matter all that much either. But ... by the time I learn of these complications it's also usually like ... too late it seems. I mean, how the fuck would I know what to be aware of and how to properly address everyone's concerns and ... stuff.? ... Well ... obviously I'm not THAT oblivious and obviously it's also somewhat incongruous to pull the "I didn't know!" card - I just figured that people might find themselves in that very same position ... looking at me for what to say.

And I think it's one of those things where ... logic and reason tend to be overrated. I mean, I'm sure we can do logic and reason ... but ... oof, I ... and that's actually not a joke: I have to go. Yea, to bed. It's ... 11 p.m..