Adult Fun Stuff - Explicit

So - on and off I'm having these episodes. Sometimes I then feel like I should write about it - but none of my usual venues to do so would do. On the other hand however, I feel cringe just posting it here. As "HERE" seems to be the wrong place. Just trying to obscure it behind some link doesn't really seem to do the trick either. In a way, just filing it as usual would be obscure enough. I think the issue would be that it's just ... not marked properly. So, I hope ... using a specific icon will do the trick or labeling it as explicit will do the trick.

But then I also kind of don't know WHAT to really write about. And so I tend to think that just leaving it be, for the most part, is good enough.

But well. I've been ... feeling a bit different lately. Maybe it's because I've found a concept that resonates with me as well as it does with others; But ... I think this has been going on for a bit longer. Though, sure, that also changed things.

After all, being understood is a good thing. It means you can just be - without being required to somehow ... bend over backward to fit into whatever categories you're being boxed into. And maybe so ... I should start writing about:

The thing inherently scary about being a Woman

is sexual compatibility with men. And by that I mean in the "primal" sense. So, biologically - for the most part. Ignoring social constructs round about it. So would men think that what women need is a strong man; And woman might eventually agree because being in a relationship removes like ... most men from the equation. But there are lots of other things that would factor into that. Like, a lot of the things that the misogynist types would lean into. Not so much family, but financial stability. Well, stability ... .

Whatever the case - it's all ... just an enormous mess. A situation in which the woman isn't only inherently forced into defensive reasoning, but one from which most decisions are basically just a gamble. Like men like to talk about taking risks ... well ... all of that usually revolves around finding a niche to hide in - while women mostly don't really have that choice. It sure depends on the looks. Probably. Like, the matter between hot and ugly - at the heart of it - is like a hard line. Either you're on this or on that side. On the one side you're practically an Incel, and on the other you're like a sheep looking for a safe place in a slaughterhouse.

OK, it's exaggerated. But not too much. The thing however is, that men who think that what woman 'need' is them to re-enforce these issues, well, re-enforce them. It doesn't matter how reasonable you think that is, at the end of the day you're just trying to tell us that that's how it is and ... now what? Because ... feminists at least ... don't agree. And if you want a religious take; Well - men would at first have to afford us the same rights and privileges God afforded to man - before we can actually like ... talk about it.

And while this seems like it's avoiding the matter of women that are fine with it - the thing is that I can't really talk about what each and every woman thinks or beliefs. I merely reflect on my experiences. And they suggest that once you're beyond a certain degree of attractiveness - the world around all of a sudden starts looking like a jungle of cock.

And that's scary - however you wanna look at it. This isn't "not all men"able either. It's also a thing that exposes all that "manly man" talk for a farce. For them it's "what men want" leading to a "what women should want". But there is no ... equity there. Women should want to be a good tradwife - but men shouldn't be asked to keep their dicks to themselves until they find the right one?

It's an allegorical statement.

And sure - being a good wife might lead to getting treated like a queen, but again ... finding that right prince charming ... would be the crux right there. It's why dating exists, it's why couples break up. Sure because women feel more comfortable taking liberties - and if men can't handle that, well ... why is it our problem/fault?

Men further seem to be like ... utterly flabbergasted once the issue is reversed. They might not even be capable of registering it at first. Like, the discomfort of when general, wide and broar reching demands are made on them that don't just so happen to align with their preferences.

And yea. I'd argue that the women that people would point at, that are the actual end-point of general statements like how women have it easy, are either not that attractive but found the right guy, or are the equivalent of maggots in a trashcan on a hot summer day weeks after it has been filled up.

Also ... perhaps a slight exaggeration.
But who cares about nuance?

And, for how I see it ... there is no "well, woops - we're all sluts actually so let's have a huge gangbang" going to come of this. And I'm not sure in how many different colors this picture can be painted.

Well, either way we couldn't have it. But ... the thing certainly is that all of us would have to be sluts for that misogynistic nightmare to work out. The rhetoric might try to denie that, but words don't really matter in this case. Not even a bit. I mean ... maybe men have no real way of understanding how they sound at some point.
And yea, maybe it's bad to feel like having to walk on eggshells - but the opposite, so - stomping about like a drunk elephant - ain't it either!

I mean ... the simplest way to put it might be this: Women have sensitivities. Feelings. Issues. Concerns. And once we don't feel like our concerns are being heard, we like ... shut off. And depending on the stresses, some would be more of a bitch about it than others.

It's that simple. Resonance. Echo. Feedback. It's the opposite of dominance for sure - and another way to understanding what women go through. Well, not to make it sound like an ordeal, but ... as our last resort is to just shut down ... the next "manly thing" to expect is to get raped. So ... yea ... that's kind of the thing.

On the other hand though, this scary thing can also be pleasant. I mean, maybe there are some things that need to be spelled out explicitly - like, being a Nether Woman ... to put it that way ... is all about thriving in this jungle of cock. But to do so ... the cocks also have to act accordingly. That is, according to the Lust. Not the kind that tingles in the ballsack or how to put it, but the one that's as an aphrodisiac to the spirit. And I suppose there's an opposite to that. A bile. Displeasure. A sickness in a sense. Dissatisfaction. A Dissatisfaction people would then choose to ignore because of some kind of peer pressure and the shame from doing a 180 on certain things.

And ... sure, there is no freedo in it if you want to put it that way. Like, you don't get to ask me if I want certain things and have the if I say yes. Because ... that's just words. If it's not aligned with the divine from the start it's also doomed from the start. At least in God's eyes.

And yea. Fantasy - like Porn - could or should help. But to get the nuances to not misread it - is still a crucial part of that. Things could be so awesome!

Because ... why would I want or need freedom with this in the first place? I mean, freedom is like ... the ability to influence a given circumstance. Now, if I want fun and the circumstances aren't set against that, that's the classical fun. Of whatever kind. And, yes - avoiding emotional attachments is like a thing that makes that work out. Else Drama is probably bound to happen.

But then, emotional attachment is still like ... the cake itself, rather than just the icing on it. So, however you turn it - to me, having things taken care of seems to be the better way.

I mean - say ... I have a fantasy. So, being a Sex Slave to some people. No matter how well you could mimic divine circumstances; Why ... would I want that? Why should I prefer that over the real deal? For once.
Logically however, you wouldn't have to mimic divine circumstances if you were in tune with the divine. And so the question for the 'why' arises in a different way. Obviously something's wrong - and why should I feel bad about not being comfortable with that?

Allthewhile comfort is one other crucial aspect of it all. You can call it vanilla all the way you want. I still prefer sleeping in a cozy bed as opposed to crawling accross a sea of splintered glass.

The thing with fantasy is, that once you're getting horny and believe that acting a certain way or towards a certain thing is going to fulfill that fantasy - you might be deluding yourself. Easily! Well, disrespecting what we want, making us as uncomfortable as possible, that sure ain't the way to wet pussy utopia.

But alright. "Not all men". Sure. Also ... "not all women" ... by the way.

But ... if you fell in Love with someone from the a different way of these things ... you have to understand that this is most likely just an error of the mind - and not that big magical soulmateship that's being denied to you.
Sigh ...
Yes ... it's not always easy! But nothing you can do is going to change that!

I mean, there are like as many things that people could want or expect of me as there are people. Should I be this way, behave like that - accept this or the other thing? You can delude yourself into believing that me being a certain way is going to magically make things better - but the reality is that you have to stop deluding yourself about how other people have to behave. For your own sake. Because what other people do isn't your business first. You should take care of your own!

And accepting that, accepting that people are individuals - even if you think that they should act a certain way - is certainly a thing that hasn't sunken in properly just yet; Although it would seem that everyone already agrees. Because like ... everyone already believes that. Except for "the others" of course. "They sure have to be taught a lesson that they can't really be what they want to be!"

But ... I digress. Methinks.

The thing is ... letting go of perceived attachments can be difficult, because attachments are like called that way for a reason ... but if you were so dealing with a person like me; Unless you'd be one of the few people special to me (or even then); Letting go of "the thing" would be the safest way to get "the thing". Because then we could have 'the real thing' - as opposed whatever it is you're trying to get.

In that regard there's also role-play. In the sense: An interaction whereby the individual interests in the activity are filtered through the roles they inherit. So, you can have attachments and live them - because the other isn't dragged into it beyond what they're comfortable with.
Which might imply that this isn't as much a fantasy role-play as a staging of the real circumstances. I mean, if you fantasized that I was your lover - you wouldn't get that, but in a context where I'm not yours anymore. Unless I'm yours to begin with.

Well, maybe that's ... in too deep right now.

But ... well. I mean, the thing is for instance, that you could say that I'm quasi married to Death. In a way that's ... perhaps unpleasant to think about. The more you'd want to see me thrive as a free and happy person or how to put it, the more unpleasant it might appear. By that desire for me, you however 'paint' your own picture of what "me being me" means. What me "getting raw with Death" would imply. That being the quasi opposite of what you'd desire - and if your desire for me were well intended, it'd probably assume that I'd be happy. Or it wouldn't even be about me; Just ... some picture of what heaven should be. But given that I'd live forever still - and that in a way that is pleasant to me - all of that horror were just in your head. It should be clear. That is: Letting go of that weird idea - that won't somehow kill me or make me unhappy. It would enable you to be part of reality. In a way of saying that it'd allow me to be myself - so that I don't have to be worried about you being worried. Just ... I might not even know that you exist!

Things would further happen as they should. Like ... with or without you. Like, with so many issues of this sort; I assume; Boil down to people assuming too much - and that wrongly. Like, if your perceived happiness revolves around how other people live - you should first learn that life exists regardless of you. There's only one truly capable of orchestrating its intricacies.

So, letting go of the fantasy and accepting ways for how they are SHOULD actually feel a bit uncomfortable, because the way things are would in this instance be outside of your comfort zone. Mentioning me and Death seems to however be a good example. You'd so accept a thing that you'd personally be unwilling to accept. You however have to, because ... that's just reality. You might believe that it's all sorts of horrible - and you might try to defend your position arguing that it would cause all sorts of horrible - but you're not really helping anyone. Least of all: Yourself! Like, if your idea were the smartest there is - God'd probaly understand that. And then things would probably be different. If your idea is one other than how things are.

So, this is basically about replacing delusions with reality. And in as far as none of us can be perfect, that idea of reality will probably never be utterly perfect either. Hence, abstractions can often enough be just as good. Or, in our case: Better. With the trade-off that the abstractions may change over time to account for our evolving understanding - but ... once we understand that certain things just happen to be abstractions, that won't come as a big surprise!

So again: You might not like reality. Not the way you are right now. But still - shutting down from it is just a way of avoiding to take even the first of steps. So, evidently: You have to evolve ... yourself ... to adjust to the way things are. That is the only way ... things can work out.

Regardless of what influence we have individually on what that reality is. However - the only certain way you can have an influence on reality - big picture - is by taking care of yourself. The one thing you actually are in charge of. Being in charge of yourself however doesn't mean that you're free to make other people's life your problem. I ... would know a thing or two about that.
I mean - for all I care about the people around me; I'm painfully aware of the fact that I really can't do a damn thing.

And maybe that means that you don't get a choice, in however many circumstances, other than being an extra. Luckily life isn't just one-dimensional though.

But ... well. I guess I have to come to a close here.
So ... whatever.