Education??

Well - sorry. I think more than half of my problems are due to me not actually getting to write of the things that are actually on my mind. I've so gotten used to taking a distanced position so that when I write of issues that bother me it could really stand on either side of the political chaos of the day.
Except of course to me there's a clear right and wrong - big picture - which is: Once ignoring the bad actors on either side, what remains is a clear ... better and worse.

But well ... take this for example: I mean - I really don't like Jimmy Snow because to me he's just too smug. I don't like his type of atheistic content; But I wouldn't know whether I could find something good about their content because I just can't sit through any of it because I just find it to be insufferable.
So - neat that Jimmy isn't in this video. I write this because I've watched some of their videos, then noticed that Jimmy is part of the crew and then was reminded why I tuned out of his stuff way back when.

But even here - it's kind of insufferable; Except that as the thing plays out we get a pretty neat deconstruction of a kind of people that are for certain more insufferable; Probably because they've made being insufferable their entire identity - knowingly or not - and have to shove that down everyone's throats. They cry about being thought policed, while they are the ones doing the thought policing. For sure. And yea - as such discussions go on I don't find ... much hope in terms of the mere concept of having discussions.

I mean ... check this one out for instance: Generally I've also grown distant from watching this type of content. I mean, there hasn't been anything legitimately interesting or hopeful on these channels in a long time - and whenever there's a video where one is allegedly dunking on someone else it's often enough a stretch at best since I don't have the mental resources to bend around all the corners necessary to see the outrage.

Which isn't to say that there's nothing to it. And I'm at a point where I couldn't give these people the or a benefit of the/a doubt even if I wanted to ... . And yea. As for this video, I suppose "the discourse" has shifted to a point where things take a while to unfold. I mean, you could think that "the dude" here has a few good points while Emma and Sam don't seem to have good arguments in contrast. Not until half-way in where the crux of the matter is more so in the spotlight - as presented in hindsight from an outside perspective; Which is the part of the situation "the dude" cannot control. So is he pivoting back and forth - doing your typical conservative man type nonsense.
To some might seem that he owned her because he constantly keeps interrupting her - and is most certainly trying to control the narrative. I might ask you to use your brain to then understand what's going on, but it seems like ... that's too generous of me.

The point is: This isn't a discussion or conversation the moment he refuses to have one. And obviously it's just there to fuel the conservative agenda which is on its way to turn all Muslim conservative on Women's rights. But "Christian".
And I don't wanna address what he said there. Like, why? I mean, even if all eyes were on me right now - and what I said would actually matter no matter how long I'd have to stretch this - uh ... well. In that case: Even more so. I mean - I have to wonder about two things, maybe three. Well, it'd be three after I told you what the two are. The issues being: What is he trying to tell me - like, personally (by proxy as obviously he's interested in "the big picture") as a) A Trans person and b) A woman?
The third issue would obviously emerge as he'd struggle to acknowledge that I'm a woman - then he'd pivot into having an argument about that - while I'd somehow have to respond to statements that only get more and more insulting.

And I don't think we can have a conversation with people like that. It's like ... either way we'd lose. That's because their fanbase is the real problem - given that they wouldn't understand anything.
They just loudly declare that there are only two genders; I'd ask them if they'd be willing to listen to facts - and in as far as one would only say: "Sure" - that's like: "See, he was open minded about it!".
The thing to be mindful of - if you have a mind left: What are people trying to sell you on? And sure - it might be difficult to see a bad deal if your mind is biased into rejecting anything better; Like "what could possibly better than the conservative concept of marriage?".

But that's like ... a red herring. The real sell here is that other people are to blame for your misery - and while that's probably true, a conservative pundit won't tell you the truth of it because they are among the primary culprits.
We can safely extract that from the bigger picture - establish it independently and from there make it up to them to convince us that they're not full of shit. Until then, to me they just are ... full of shit!


On a different, more positive note I found this: to be fairly amusing. I mean - not that they're talking about anything important. I take it as an attempt of Brian to redeem himself; And it reminds me of that Stargate SG1 episode where Carter agrees to participate in a Space Race. It's so ... campy. Hilarious!
I however kind of dread sharing this because ... well. Check this out: If you don't get it - you're not smart enough! Because what she does there is a wonderful deconstruction of "the Discourse(TM)". At least ... it sheds light onto ... well ... we might say: How people behave on the internet.

And yea - the thing is: I have to understand that I am weak to ignorance. I mean, it's like ... my Cryptonite. Basically. I can't engage with this nonsense. And so: If all that matters in the end is who can take a bigger dump on the other team(s) - well, I have to stay ahead of the curve by practicing ... that.


But yea. The problem with that is, that some might actually care about personal growth, doing the right thing and all that. And the more I turn into "a Monster", the more important that will be for you. Because ... I've written my Book, and then some - and while I'm still working on more; I think that I can't write all of it as from a defensive position. Anyhow - whatever is then going on, be it in public or whatever irks me at the time; It's probably no good for you unless you 'get it'.

You have to take care of the stuff that is your responsibility; Which is, first and foremost, you yourself.
Like, it can't be stressed enough how most of the problems we have are systemic. And that isn't something any politics could easily solve. If at all. We, the people, need to do our part. Apart from voting right. If that's an option. And by 'our own part' I mean - you need to look out for your own. Figure out what the right side is and, most importantly: Be willing to forgive whatever wrong you think or feel that side did to you.

Like, if I told you that you're an idiot, you specifically - but I yet happened to be the figurehead of the right side ... well, that's still a you problem! Especially since no amount of me being like "Sorry" would ever appease your stupid little fuckbrain. And for the most part I probably don't even know you exist. Like ... it's not that I even could change my mind about you. And it probably won't, because you in this context are just an abstract of someone who's on the wrong side!


Anyhow ... off to something else: This makes me feel somewhat inadequate. That because biologically speaking ... I lack a large part of womanhood to talk of myself as a woman, in this context; And at the same time I yet understand it. Intimately. I mean, I can't get pregnant and I don't get the bleeds. Maybe I suffer from mood swings; But I don't really have anything to anchor my moodiness to to be sure.
On and off I get belly cramps; But not regularly so. I maybe should keep track of it, but ... I'm horribly bad at doing anything 'properly' it would seem.

What I do however understand is ... female sexuality. Because ... I have female sexuality. And that's not all about being a Slut or such. Well. I guess it depends. In some sense, being a Slut is a way of coping with the power imbalance between the sexes. Or, that is a kind of Slut - that's not the type of Slut I identify as.
But so are there two fronts I'm struggling at. On the one I'd try to give insight into myself to let women accept me as one; While on the other trying to ... translate ... in a sense, the female experience to the male. And not doing so with purpose has me probably lose out on both ends.
So, I probably shouldn't try to do either.

It is however something that's crept up into the spotlight. It's probably vanished rather quickly because Bloodborne fans ... well, let's say I have some amount of respect for fans of the Soulsborne games. Even if we can vastly disagree with each other on certain things. Like ... whether or not Dark Souls 2 deserves to be recognized as a part of them.
And yea, if you can appreciate these games for their Lore ... you certainly can deal with Bloodborne's visceral femininity. I mean ... it's not a big mystery. The Church rapes the old ones for their blood - the old ones retaliate; And yet there's a middle ground of sorts.

I mean - female sexuality does, certainly, have an impulse towards male sexuality. And here I'm once again reminded of a Stargate SG1 episode; Specifically where SG1 secures a steady supply of Trinium for Earth. Trinium being some super cool metal but it's kind of protected by some alien species - and so the Earth side is discussing weather or not to take it by force. SG1 however isn't cool with the 'taking it by force' idea; And those aliens reward that by promising them a steady supply.

Not that it matters. I mean - if we're talking about "Quality Women" and "Quality Men" in as far as those who'd use those terms are concerned ... the two are most certainly incompatible!

Starting with how "Quality Men" don't think they have to listen to women. And any woman who's cool with that certainly has no Quality!


Oops. Maybe I said a bit too much there.
The thing is, whatever you stupid humans choose to do or believe in - it's not supposed to be my problem! You do you - call me irrational - and fuck off!

I mean, to be fair: There's a lot about that "topic" that legitimately pisses me off. And those that take it as a Win ... well, I don't even know if they're worth my pity!

I mean - this whole "conversation" just looks like a huge non-starter to me. Except we didn't learn that until it was too late. Give or take.

Overall it's a big problem that we have access to a very broad range of content from around the world; Stuff that inevitably shapes our mind. When we learn then what some men think of women - and how the politics around the world align with that, hell ... you (men) really have to do work to convince us that you're not a part of it; With chances being that we don't trust you! That in turn exasperates the problem; Allthewile certain groups of people don't seem to have a proper grasp of what effect their associations and micro-expressions have on people.
I mean, we're at a point where I personally wouldn't trust a group that declares itself as "pro peace" because "pro peace" at this point is most likely going to be some Putin Simping and Israel Apologia.

It's like we're all thrown into a steady state of rage - or such; Where - being emotional is the worse position from which to enter a serious discussion. It's like ... if all everyone could say online were limited to the phrase "Fuck You" - not much would be different!
Like ... seriously! It might even be an improvement from where we are now!


And if you're coming from a conservative angle, curious for what I had to say about this or that thing you believe, I suppose you could just take it as such. "Fuck You" end of the discussion.

I mean, there are phrases like: "Do you even hear what you're saying?" - which is basically a non-starter these days because the internet is like a ... green pastures for excuses of any variety. And that's probably what I should tell you prior to trying to engage with any of it!

Also ... read my Book!
Like, if it doesn't even get you to wonder whether or not you might be on the wrong side - while you most certainly are ... that's on You! I'm sure Jesus is there waiting for you to come to your senses; For He's the good shepherd ... I'm just an emotional human being!


Although ... I do suppose I have to insist on being regarded for more.
I'm ... conflicted about it tho. Well, here's a video: which happens to make some compelling arguments for ... well ... gentrification, the rewriting of history and the suppression of human femininity; And the reason why the name 'Astarte' leaves a bad taste for me is probably because I know there's something - but Astarte is just the wrong word for it. Jesus didn't outright ... counter that. But Jesus certainly did a lot more towards emancipation than people give, or can give, Him credit for. And yet man ... did what man does ... it would seem. I mean, there definitely is a type of misogyny that is rather aggressive and pervasive. Men that by everyone's accounts don't deserve to live in a western country. And there sure are woman to go right along with them; Though ... that's more difficult to spot.
Though ... TERFs seem to be interested in taking that position!

In essence ... 'we' are the only ones worth your attention. God and I. And those that join us.
Not to say that you shouldn't pay attention to what else is going on, but ... if it only distracts you from your own salvation - which isn't just a metaphysical thing - it's probably best classified as: 'just' a distraction.

I mean, rather than making it about men versus women, it's probably better presented as being about the place where both and the rest can come together in peace versus whatever tries to go against that.


I mean, I believe that we don't need any gender or race specific ... stuff ... outside of whatever cultural pockets emerge for whatever reason. I mean, if we want to treasure our cultural identities and heritage, we have to embrace that. From there then meaningful exchange can emerge.

I mean - uh ... I think it's embedded into how God interacts with us within the Ninedom that we perceive that what we have at large as simultaneously nobody's and everyone's. If we were to come together in groups by skin color or heritage - that wouldn't feel right unless that group were open to strangers. Yet we'd have something like explicitly black and explicitly white groups, for instance, and each group would have stuff they can bring to the table. Some more, others less - some maybe even in the negative. And we just have to learn to rely on some kind of mutual good will, for micro-managing that; Like so in the hypothetical ... takes me to weird places.

I think the big problem is that we have like ... passive interests and qualities that are inherited; And based on that we have expectations that people from different backgrounds cannot satisfy. None of that needs to be conscious. And yea, within the conversation around systemic problems; We eventually get to those kinds of things. Like - even if we managed to 'fix the system', a white kid amongst black kids or a black kid amongst white kids ... is always going to stick out. And that is a breeding ground for "it all" happening over again.
Then, with trying to enforce tolerance ... by introducing the mere concept of racism into that system ... there comes fear. Paranoia. We wouldn't even have to do anything towards that end. It almost seems inevitable. But it doesn't have to be that way. For the most part things would probably go differently.

And as it is a complex topic, I think the first thing that needs to be said is that conservatives are bad parents. Take it as a piece of divine revelation as I'm too tired to explain whatever it is that you don't understand about it. I'll try - but the rest is on you!
If you're a progressive first you sure can be conservative and it'll be fine. But if you're a conservative first ... you're likely to sympathize with the wrong people!

Take the whole "nuclear family" bullshit for instance. It's one thing that conservatives are adamant about ... but it's a thing that's already detached from 'reality', like ... for once: I don't think you have to lecture people into "getting" the concept of a stable marriage. Jealousy is a thing that does that very well on its own. And if someone's Polyamorous, well ... there's a higher chance that everyone gets what they want without any additional drama. Further however there's that saying that "it takes a village to raise a child". The "nuclear family" BS is one step away from that.
If you can understand that, you can also see that the real problem of the day is that people have difficulties finding the thing that they crave. Which probably includes a stable relationship ever so often. Which is to say that once you cut your value judgment from the equation, you're more likely to see that your narrow world-view isn't the only viable solution.
Since conservatism is anchored in past experiences, it is thereby more likely to impose those upon the next generation without there being any proper, conscious evaluation to go with those values. Hence conservative parents are more likely to ill-equip their kids for the world they grow up in. In a sense "Libs" are to blame for that, sure - but it's conservative parenting that makes it a problem.

Conservatism has an innate insistence on things being and remaining the way they used to be. And when it comes to things such as the challenges imposed by climate change and the social shifts that scientific progress introduces to our cultures ... that's just and simply impossible!
I could go onto a tangent on how some german Science Communicator has apparently fallen from grace. Recently she made a video of how backwards Germany apparently is - and yea, I gave it a try but at some point I could no longer listen to it. It's typically german in a sense - in that it's "Complaining at a high Level" (Meckern auf hohem Niveau). Calling it a list of First World problems is like an understatement. I could ... but any list of 'problems' that argues we should focus on things that aren't the 'real problems' we should be worried about ... is horseshit to me and I don't want to get into a discussion about it!
Yet ... if the argument boils down to "Germany sucks because it isn't at the height of their game" - you need to shut up! Sometimes things just have to work good enough. Like so can we look at the USA; To see what an unenlightened set of priorities can do to a country. You can then either be envious of their pervertedly large GDP ... or have pity for the people that suffer for it.

I just noticed ... this is the honeypot. I mean, mentally I've just arrived at the part where I notice what fuels my occasionally inflated pessimism. It's "conservative pilled" people. People that, when putting it generously, have given up on hope. People who either consciously say "fuck it" while aligning with the crowd to silently await the inevitable collapse - or are spineless enough to be peer pressured into this whole "let things be as they always were" mindset.

And that's why this planet needs me. Something for a little bit of hope, a good dose of mind-openers ontop of a really, REALLY delicious piece of pie that's almost too good to be true - if it weren't for the fact that everything else stinks (if only by comparison)!


Anyhow ... the conservative mindset is also a conductor of fear; And has a deceptive resemblance with (of?) rationality. It's this whole "you have to look out for your own" mindset. When expanded onto a group it might breed a sense of "social integrity", but that then on the cost of "others" which are then asked to either fall in line or get rekt. I might be playing that same game here - but my inclusivity is greater than theirs/yours. I'm progressive first. Therefore I believe that true social integrity, stable social integrity, the kind of social integrity we should strive to build our future upon - is something that has to emerge from the broadest possible cooperation. And outside of joining us, I'm not sure how you'd wanna do that. Without being a bigot.
The best way to spot the error is how it exalts work-culture. In isolation that is certainly a noble thing; BUT THAT'S NOT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN! And if things seem like we'd need a miracle to avert the worse, well ... I know the place where Miracles can happen!
Outside of that, there shouldn't be a problem! Or what?

This glorification of work culture only feeds into a cancer that's already eating us alive; And in the same time it requires you to get an ego boost from having work to be proud of, which doesn't only make you feel better for probably being part of a cancer - but it also moves on to tell others that they're worthless although they do much less to exasperate the problems we have.


Anyway. This whole part on how conservatives are bad parents - is me trying to say that "we're not racist, but ...". "But" ... a myriad of things, probably, that are beyond our control. So, while I certainly agree with most of what the term "woke" stands for, there's a line beyond which that whole mindset ends up being 'too much'. It's like its own type of conservatism - akin to a mass delusion grown from some kind of collective PTSD.
The kind of mindset that would call me a Pedophile, grinding all our progress to a halt because "maybe" ... while actual Pedophiles - the type we should be worried about - just continue being assholes playing the system for their gain against which you are pretty much powerless without me!

Then, when I say so, that very same fear makes you worried that I might be responsible for it - that I have a say in how terrible the world is so you join me out of fear from them. And sure God could just put an end to it - and I for my part am certainly trying! Which also means that right now, as far as God is concerned, His effort is happening through me. Which also means that at this point He isn't willing to do more. We have the power. We can! It's simple! But you have to cut your whining!

Like, if we wanna play Oppression Olympics - sure, we can wait it out until Judgment Day. You might be surprised!

Like ... "Jesus"! I mean ... yes! Jesus!

It's not so much that He could have saved His ass, but what we did. And sure, if you wanna say that this whole experiment of redeeming humanity from its misery has failed ... I might agree with you. But ... I for myself try to be better than that. I sure as fuck don't wanna be a part of it. Call me egoistic or that I think I'm better than you ... biased, brainwashed or whatever ... it's still a you problem.

As it stands, the world looks an awful lot like being in a state of Takeshi's Castle. Everyone is invited, but only a few are chosen. People are falling from grace, while others - with various degrees of tiredness - persist while the abyss we're staring at only seems to grow.

I mean ... I was afraid that this was a point I'd be arriving at. The whole "insistence on God doing a thing" thing. And somehow, without even realizing it, I've ... yet written myself into arguing as much. Well, eventually it'll happen. For better or worse. The reason why I try to not argue that, or tried, is ... well ... because there's an awful lot of negative tension on our end ... associated with that. Because 'of course'. I mean ... all the people that REALLY do suffer - in this day and age - seem to more and more need saving ... from "you".


I mean, it's not to their benefit if you're bitching about things that could actually help them!

Back in the day when humankind was still young, there were a people who could atone for their sins by sacrificing an animal. That's kind of where the term 'scapegoat' comes from. Jesus is told to be some kind of 'final sacrifice'. So, coming from God as an end to that. Because simply put - it eventually wasn't effective at incentivizing people to do any real good.
And if you're bitching about that ... you fail to realize that it's absolutely pointless!
The irony is that by and large we don't need to do much more than 'talk'. So, the thing that ... y'all are really good at.

I for myself keep thinking that maybe it isn't time yet. And sure enough, it so far obviously hasn't been. Maybe I still need to work on my program. But why? I think. But maybe ... ? And like so me too am bitching, perhaps. Maybe you're doing good work in the background - that'll yield fruit one day. But I don't know that. So, it might also just be in my head. Like ... "you, reading this".


So, we're not racist, but ... there are obvious ... cultural gaps that give us a hard time not being racist. Well, people are trying. And that has eventually given people a voice to say that it didn't help. I mean - it's part of our western identity, by and large - and it's heartbreaking to see it corroded by greed. Exploitation I mean. Or an inability to adapt. Probably fueled by conservatism of a kind.
I don't think you can mount any proper defense to that. Not without the Light! And the Light is with me!

That's just a fact! Because ... whomever you're trying to convince is probably looking at countless examples that make them skeptical, while surrounded by nitwits that try to tell them as much. I TRY to change that. I try to give you hope! I TRY!
I mean ... let's face it! I'm growing to become a condition for people ... that they're not going to trust anything unless I'm a part of it! That's ... unity in the making! But if nobody gets to check it, it's well ... all for naught.

Anyway. To bridge the cultural gap - it's important that we help each other out. I mean ... when it comes to intelligence and competence for instance, it helps to grow up surrounded by opportunities to do so. Education is one part of the equation - being able to play with the things the world is made of is another. It's complicated and difficult if we had to plan it all out in advance. But we don't! We have to trust in God ... and try our best at any rate!


And that's that!