Updates, Updates, ... where are all the Updates?

... well, for now I don't have any. I might have had one - but, I kind of ... haven't been in the right headspace to manage that. It's anyway a bit iffy right now. Wonky. Stuff is all over the place. So, there's that ... how to maintain a project?

So, I'm working towards it. It's like ... a few more steps until the thing is a stable next iteration of the thing. So, multithreading, input, output ... stuff. I suppose some filesystem stuff also. All in all I've been puzzled over fitting the engine into this new strcuture. I mean, the process layout has shifted - and while the engine was previously what determined how the processing would flow, now it's the core that determines that. I have to first work my way around to some perspective regarding the things I'm working with. Like, I was having ideas but ... a realization eluded me; Until this and that thing was in place. So, it's a bit ... psychedelic I suppose.

One thing is that while I was previously using three extra threads, I've got that boiled down into two - somehow it made sense like that. So, it's ... shifting grounds for me. Recently I had problems because I created like a private M-Core and I got confused about which I was working on - and ... so, while trying to make a simple "ljack" compile with what I basically have right now I ran into some issue. Not sure. Seemed a bit odd. So, for now I'm focusing on my own project basically, though ... I'm not creating a new system branch or such.


Other than that ... well. I feel like I should think about writing my will. I mean, from how I feel I'm done with my training. If like two days of school already stress me out as they did - It's not worth it, I think. I mean ... I'm still not sure. It's like ... since Christmas holliday started until now was just some wild fever dream and I still haven't fully woken up. I've been absent for more than a week, I've missing out on telling people; So ... bridges are burning. Let's hope they're made of stone Or so.
I'm worried. Like, I'm not sure if I want to be sick or if I am sick. I mean, I am - but then there's the part of me that doesn't want it so. And ... to say that I'm doneso is like ... I mean, to 'give up' like that, ... I'm not ready for that. But on the other hand it's like ... already over. Maybe it could be slavaged, but ... uhm. At this point however I need to change habits and stuff - at the very least - IF I want to keep going but I don't have the time or mental resources to do that. So, it's a catch 22.

Or whatever.
And it's so ... . Just a few more month.
Ugh ...

I'm fried. :/...

I suppose one could blame it on the weed and spin a neat narrative from there. Ugh ... and I'm like ... halfway believing it. So - that doesn't help.

Ugh ... I need help. I guess.