Apologies
Hmm ... . So, I'm not going to apologize for some of the things in the past; Like - specifically those ... uhm, ...
well. It is clear to me that I was wrong in many ways, but once an apology holds weight ... it is to be considered
more carefully.
What it does depends on what someone perceives the apology to be for. If I for instance did nothing wrong but someone
else did - then why am I apologizing? What for? For some perceived error? I mean, sure ... it's worth pointing out
when someone made a mistake. But "what about" the rights and wrongs of it?
So, what I can do - for instance - is to apologize for some of the things that were necessary; So, it's "the same thing"
... like, once you "follow it to its final conclusion". But it wasn't so much by accident as it was intentional - which
of course means, in the flipside, that I can't hold any grievances over it. I mean, I did the right thing and ... so I'm
not apologizing for that.
You on the other hand ... You couldn't have done what was necessary "even if You wanted to". I mean, for what tolerances
there are I'm implying the baseline that there's nothing You could have done at all in any way shape or form ... other
than being (having ended up) on the right side of the divvy.
But ... so, yea - fine, whatever. I suppose I was nurtured to see things this way; And it almost feels ... weird.
Stranger to me. Not that it disagrees with me; ... but uhm ...
So ... I was thinking ... . Going through some of my code ... I started to remember. And yea, there is in fact a thing
or two that I said ... to myself ... like, things I was thoroughly convinced of ... and I may have said these things
in public ... and they are in deed matters that now haunt me. Like ... voids. Like ... I have no clue how to do either
of those things ... 'either'.
Which is weird - because ... what prompted me to say those things is that I felt like I had a clue. So, Dunning and Kruger
strike again? Well, I believe it's more complicated than that. But what it tells me that I don't have the right to feel
smart about it. And this is ... not so much a fault of mine as it is an interpersonal ... "something" ... where ... how
we communicate ourselves is how we contribute to the overall "public atmosphere". So, if I get my ideas from God then I
can tell You that and share those ideas and those will be smart and brilliant ... and ... without me or anyone doing
anything wrong ... there's like ... dark clouds brewing on the horizon.
And also: Yes! Dunning-Kruger. Sure, I see the solution - but I also see it out of context. And ... so, technically I
don't know whether my solutions work or not - UNTIL I produce the context for them to solve anything.
So, for me to say that 'this' or 'that' is silly ... or dumb or stupid ... is unfair. And to be fair ... there are a
lot of stupid things, stupider than stupid, that it applies to still. And leaving it at "well, it is so, I'm smarter,
trust me" ... that's like a last measure - at the end of all roads ... and I would think that we're not there yet.
To say, what I have to do is what everyone has to do: Try to work things out.
And so ... I'm still not sure if what I was thinking about ... actually works or if it's just some kind of Frankenstein's
"Hypothesis Monster".
...