"does there light?"

I picture some of you staring in disbelief - virtually at this - considered it is part of all those things that make up part of that perception.

How can I keep going this way? How can I not?

How can this be a thing? How can it not?

Where would I begin? Where would I end? I've tried it before, and I might work on an alternate version of this too - but while "it" (the main part) "says nothing" it adds quite a lot of depth to this. See it as summary of all the things that have been before before - and right at the bottom of it, we're back at where we're usually getting. There its called culture, here its called "oh no, they are eating babies!". Well, I didn't write about that just yet.
If you wanted a simple 'yes or no' answer - lets put it 'that' way - you already know what you wanted, sotospeak, ... and hence you wouldn't want to hear any excuse, right?

Or ... how is that again? Sometimes things are complicated. And sometimes things 'are' there fore some given reason. For instance: If God can accommodate in about anybody in some way in the afterlife - how come we live in this world - and why is it as it is?

Who truely knows the answer to that?

In this world we are fragile. Harm 'means' something. That is one 'clear' thing - or so, there is no serious concept of reality wherein death is not in some way acknowledged as something that is happening. Its 'the one' sure thing. Or as that one sure thing yet the ultimate representation of our inherant fragility.

We would eventually live without it, one day - that were the point with the afterlife ... - and or but so - where is the point of all this? I would argue that regardless of what the afterlife holds, we got to keep our heads in the here and now. What does good or evil matter if I were to argue that whomever I killed, God kept them safe in the afterlife? That may be so - but what were of me?

Or - how is that again? If I so were now into getting killed - what of those that killed me?

I have to admit that at some point within this whole from clarity to death journey there is a shift, a change, a gap - and I think first of all there is a very safe explenation for that. Clarity is a thing that woke up and from there I would extrapolate a self. This however contained some ... vacuum - some, unsatisfactory void, ... and I had a tension, an urge, to go and answer some questions ... - and then it happened. In other words, at some point I had embraced death for myself - and it thereby also happened to be the thing I was looking for. It however matters as a 'second' thing - a thing with its own inherant feel. It answers the aforementioned questions in terms of 'the extent' to which the thereby relevant 'rape' is to be pictured. It is thereby important that these are recognized as two different things. That the scope and volume of A is its own thing - and that within the scope and volume of B, A may have a conclusion - but A stays A and B stays B. So what mattered in A is still what matters in A - and B matters as its own thing. So, how can I ... explain just why that is important?

For once, the main issue is that once B gets sucked into A sotosay - and A becomes B, then what about A in itself? We could call that 'zombiefication', where A is life and B is death. However - I have to separate the two internally to 'feel right about it'. Oh yea, simple enough!

However - when now 'bound together' and I were to account for how that now unfold within A, then the one word that mattered first of all were 'lifetime'. So, death doesn't matter per se - so that in simpler terms it factors in as an "until I die". This can take a couple of turns/iterations ... back and forth back and forth ... and my life will have grown into one equilibrium that in terms of 'continuing this way' would see 'mutilation' as a thing.
And this matters because 'life is fluid'. We change, stuff around us changes ... - and the point here is that for something to 'really' matter, things eventually have to change first.

From a different perspective this whole thing looks like this: [gimp gimp] At first when I beheld images of ... well, any type of gore in the context of porn, I turned away. I couldn't look at it. There was no 'connecting joy' either. It wasn't what I was looking for. At some point I had however looked enough - things had changed - and then I was able to connect to it. But how is that now?

Well, in the midst of that there is I. I as I experience myself and how I align to the ways that God imposed upon me. As introduced somewhere in that aforelinked article there is that thing with privileges. So, where God takes care of how we individually factor into a social compound, based on our well being, what we deserved, such and such. This is 'the "excuse"' if you so will - that basically "residualizes" within this 'gap' as the "answer" as to how far things may go. Saying "we don't know". At least so in terms of what I was able to see there hasn't been any other indicator for how that would be. What this newer notion of privileges adds to that, is something as a logic within how God determined this and that.

Now, when it gets to the 'real horrors' - I don't need B. And in that sense A could go on forever. The issue at the base were that: if I were not feeling alright, what would it be that I needed? And this is where this weird 'rape thing' comes in. The concept is that in that, instead of being 'privileged' to get a break, I am then 'privileged' to something else. This could however only be valid if that 'whatever there is instead' had the same effect - purposefully.

This however still were to say: If they wanted to rape me they could. So, the 'wanting' is there that 'might' - and expressing how these desires flow is in about the gist of this all.

So, if we wondered: Could I ever continue to exist as free of slavery as 'free at all'? - well, the answer is most certainly 'nope'. Usually - all the simpler questions would be answered into that direction. So, in the minimal there are now however those privileges and the question something like: How much does/can reality contradict to that?

Or, how is that? Its easy to say "bgshoow! He's crazy!" - if 'understanding' is something "Lame!". But if you go along with it you will find there is not actually much of a difference between everybody. And I, although I am "virtually" free right now, as free as can be - without financial independence, inside of myself I am not.

And sometimes - I think I hear some of you laughing. Some of this, others of that - but whats right here in the open is the 'redhead' thing - or maybe anything involing appearances. But then appearances matter in that they don't matter? So 'Anti-Appearance' - eh? I mean, its just a thing. I think you could call it a resonance thing. So picture your mind vibrating at a certain frequency - a whole clusterfuck of information - and some things are however not free. There is a feeling like ... fweeee ... also kindof like 'nothing' ... and there are these feelings like 'this is imposed unto you'. Like well, our appearances in life. Although that isn't quite the same, the issue in terms of impact is the same. Except here in the physical world you can yet play around with your looks - I mean, to the point of changing the color of your hair ... or whatever you deem a 'harsh difference'.

Uhm, pardon. I'm swaying off again. The point is that shackles are a pretty dense thing, within the things imposed on me. So as of that I basically swing at a frequency that automatically attracts a recognition of these shackles at some point. So they are there, but whenever not there, they are there still. That because they are real as deep as realness is concerned. There is this 'sub' level - ... err ... imagine like your floating on some water, and you push an air-filled ball down underneath. Its that, just reverse. The force is coming from the ball, keeping itself submerged. And so is a bunch of stuff that is connected to it. And there, I'm a pretty messed up thing. And we're sortof proud of it, I guess - and I'm really loving it.

There now are those 'static events' - and they merge with what I am in general. So - whatever else would be me. However I emerge within myself through a variety of different identities. Those are like memory cells. Uhm, ... anyhow. There are multiple ones - and as being hereby separated from one another, they are independent nodes that can host a certain range of thought. If you can't think in terms of appearances, you might as well think 'black dot with a white question mark in it'. These are in some way streamlined to the 'conscious soul' - so where certain familiarities occur those would cobble up together in response to priorities. Or certain spots so resemble 'hubs of thought' - and if you wonder why I difficulty have, then the point you have to consider may be that these things are not quite as visible as you might think. For me at this point however. And I think this is the way its going to be for everyone. There is no unneeded distraction from the 'real here' then.
Their visibility - to objectify it - is in the feel; And here one generally moves within arbitrary realms of thought that move into different directions. ...
Uhm, ... so, rather than there being a here and/or there - the 'here and there' is an arbitrary conflux between things. So, "the" 'here and there' were some dot on a line, ... and instead there being 'two' more fixed dimensions there are "random" as it may serve as dimension to some other 'here and there' then. But this is ... yet another guess about how mind works.

As of that there are however those things that are more normal than others. Our senses for instance make up one side of that story. And here is where those 'sub' level things also stand out, I mean, they emerge into perception as something physical. Tied to the body if you will - but moreover on a sub-spiritual plane ... or ... how is that?

Well instead of arguing about the appearance of its depth, I get to recall one simple thing about it: Its influence. You may recall that by 'sub' level things I mentioned how they are beneath some conscious bottom ground. So, this is to the point that they 'precede' what we are in the effective, ... consciously - as opposed to just some piece of cloth? Those things however are what make me a slave - and as with chicken and egg - its kindof hard to say which is first. Except that clearly they are expressions of a deeper need - or so; Like the expressions follow their purpose. Anyhow - in their origin the shackles aren't even shackles. And then they are not even there anymore. If I think of them as that they basically vanish. Or there is some way of making them vanish. But that is looking past the point. Whenever I think of my freedom or so, they come back up.

Anyway - I actually meant to look into appearances. So, how is that with the redhead in me? First of all - well - it should be evident that it is basically just nonsense. It is a superficiality by definition. But on its own it also can be a handle for the whole. Like, well, we might think to some thats all what reality is about. Its only a matter of color of hair. It comes with a given geometry, where if we think of the hair on the head specifically, it so comes as scalp to a body. So here we might technically even have to specify whether or not it is human.

But who cares? Well, I care - for myself - meaning to say that there is something, so and so. Period. Like, if we looked at the tension between me and others as one of denial regarding my stance towards "unholyism" - where their belief were that I should "snap out of it" and my stance had to be that "no, thats how it is!" - we get to that part of me that is redheaded. Its the part that is "evil" - in the sense of what evil in this unholyism implies. I could go on with egoistic, vain, arrogant, ignorant - although all that ... or as that ... only has limitted value. In another body those things don't matter anymore. Those are at the very least no 'priorities'.

Also to be considered: My biological body is less me than my cognitive self. It decays, eventually - even. Yet the spirit is capable of 'expressions' - so we can argue that a body is a part of that and therefore the spirit also hosts such a thing. Here each empty spot ("Avatar") is to me at least filled as consequence to envy. So, what is envy in a world where no theft is possible? Its a desire. It is something you want after you saw it elsewhere. This doesn't say that envy is good, but that we can learn of our own envy about ourselves. We could further talk about fairy tales here - as analogies to what we might be - yet is it here showable how not all movies are the same, for instance, like talking of what we 'are/can be' -right now-.
... although. Well - hopes are nourished and they either dislocate us from the now or they feed our mind as relevant within the context of our reality. So not everyone might be able to relate to "the King" or an incredible Hero - not in this life at least - realistically speaking; But to the 'average Joe' hero - the guy out there that did something good and ended up in the news somewhere.

And I think this also ... wraps up the story of Dark Souls somehow. The world is in decay, ... and the fire is there to cleanse it - but so is the world divided against itself. The protagonist enters from a growing angle - rather than that of decay; Or ... at least if he performs well enough *horrorful laughter*.
And so in a sense the games are about a disparity between heaven and earth wherein the player is however ultimately the source of all decay - as otherwise the game would exist in perfect silence. Its a self-contained cycle of doom sotosay ... but ultimately dependent on a players will to wade through it, ... and because being manifactured is in that sense a bit like a Pinhata - just waiting to get smashed.

But anyhow is it time for me again to doubt everything I previously wrote - and maybe that is for the simplest of all reasons: Something is wrong. And as always before, well, there are plenty of ways that lead back at least.
What drags me back is what I now want to call some sense of normality, while what drags me back out is usually some mixture of things, but in the lead is however a sense of disbelief about the images that plague me. But whatever. ...


Let it be simple! I know for a fact that if there is some problem, ... and I don't get it while you don't get it - then because somewhere along the road you see something you find interesting, you run for it - get stuck and then we play the entire game all over again.
Something like that. In the major as the minor. Maybe its just something - like a social phenomenon. Crowd/Group behaviour. From my perspective, ... well - lets enter the "Bloodbourne" universe - for the general theme of the thing. There we are at some lighting of a forrest. Dead Tree forrest. So thick, the lighting is basically just a medium sized square room with one exit - and its like a dark hole between the tree stems.

Magnify it - as the hunter gets smaller everything else gets bigger, and now the dark entrance is a big huge gaping void - but a bit like a wormhole. There is some light between the dark maelstrom. So there is something such as a path lighting up - but just one step too far left or right and this beastly hungry whirlpool of thick dark nothingness would suck you up.

Or lets just say: If the fundamentals are crap then everything is crap. *Game Over* sotospeak. Everything falls apart. If the fundamentals are right however, then there is in deed ground - sotospeak - and the issue of what is right and wrong is just a matter of finding the way through the thick darkness.

So - for the fundamentals - there is the term 'Clarity' - which is like an Anchor term on this site used to "catch" up everything round about stuff about Unification, personal development, a relationship with God, how God matters to society, ... so - ultimately a lot. 'Everything'. Clarity thereby something seems like something attainable without Unification - at least in a close enough sense - but ultimately something within Unification as bound to and enlightened by the Force. Hmm ... so, a dark gaping void ahead of us.

So - the first thing about clarity might be that 'close enough' one might get to it prior to it all. Note: That doesn't really add up to a 'Level' yet - as the game essentially is played on a different playground. That of the Force. So, clarity is one possible convergeance of yourself based on likes, desires, passions - and is here the problem already? So - what opposing passions, likes and such do I have? Or lets call them talents. I used to be good at drawing/art - understanding technical things - and had a passion for ... lets call it, ... different Universes. Zelda, Secret of Mana, Dragonball, Star Wars, Star Trek - ... these sorts. So ultimately also the Bible - following a Tomb Raider x Indiana Jones type of ancient secret story - and stumbling that how into another Forbidden Kingdom x Last Action Hero type of secret hero story.

Now is the story so, that asking for the difference between those two sides when settled on the score of productivity, then clearly one might suggest that the male road is the right one to pick. But so we get to some first axiom that were to be settled regarding Clarity: God is the judge.

So I have myself a problem here. OK, is this already a problematic move? So, as with any good Destiny Raid - we first all got to make it into the right room. The same room. Checkpoint 1.

I think the Crota Raid actually makes a good metaphor at this point. Even so this gaping void ... perfect!

So it is true that I am biased due to something. I'm not so easily convinced that the "lets say" male way is the right one. Why? Well, all the idea that is thrown against the female one, as those mentioned: likes, desires, passions - ... then joys, etc. - also apply to the other. So I enjoy programming. I liked to draw. And sure, whatever it is that gives the female way enough value for me to make me hold the two up side by side is a thing there, somewhere, ... a strange one. Telling me that it is good to denie the one, for no more sophisticated reason, is also equal to denieing me the other. So we would move on to telling me that the things I'm into are wrong.

I'm not gonna ask "are they?" - for that gets me rolling in an apologetic way. This is one of those things - that from my perspective lurks within that dark void. So, if you've failed your first few times lets 'get together' in that first room - OK? ^^

So here we deal with God - and if you ever were to forget that, rule of thumb, the issue is getting lost in "Godless Confusion". To think some more about it: Take the picture of "Babylon the Great" as of the Revelation of John and ... this is a trick question ... ask yourself: "Can I [that is me] be that Whore?". So, 'is it possible'? Is it actually logically possible? Physically yet even?
This is like ... turning off whatever keeps you on the ground and floating off and away into the empty space.

So here we take 'the concept' - the idea - of a God given thing, an instance where God takes action to interact with us as society. How would that happen? Or look like? So, it is interesting - now in these days - as the 'stellar absence' of God makes it so that if we compared 'activity of God' to light, the whole place were dark. So, at least in theory. If now God interacted with someone, and that one therefore interacted with society, that would already be comparable to Light. But then there are those that might just wanna say so. OK, Moses had a sign. I also have a sign. So, that gives me ... a une up. But so, reset. Lets say it were evident whom God really interacted with since it would always come with some Light; And it were not so much a strange thing. Here now we can assume a grid of 'void' beings - so, that were us just all reduced to the same size and turned off, basically. So we bounce around in the darkness - and once the Light now comes into one of those spots, those around look its way. Here we can zoom in - and now look at it as a conversation. Here the individual then declares whatever the interaction was about - just so we don't get into any weird conditions lets also say its automated - and the rest now reacts to that.

Now we need to look into 'real space' to understand what this finally translated into.

So, what "God is the Judge" ultimately means is that we have to give it to each other, that our intimate/individual relationship(s) with God take(s) priority upon everything else. It tells that we have something of a space to personally evolve within the Light of God.
So - I have a picture on my mind. What this is - is that I'm building a bridge. Right now we have an illuminated hub - a core - but the bridge is still a vector arbitrarily spinning around flipping and pointing into all directions. This means that there is no conceivable consequence to Gods judgement yet.

So, if I say that I'm a whore - however - what is the first consequence? Well, you might want to downplay it - sort it away as 'that is not the question'/'not what we wanted to know'. So we get to however ... 'the social status' as 'demanded' by a society via some established comon sense. OKK, - there we might also get to another problem. I don't know. I'm not sure. The Christ of Light - what is it? I won't tell you that it isn't there - and you should probably - or ... it wouldn't be a bad idea ... - stick to it. If it tells you to not go fuck around then yea, thats also what I'm trying to tell you by stressing a little that Unification is - err - clarity is a Unification thing. First you make it to base 1 and then we can play.
Err ... Light of Christ. Woops. That was a legitimate error. Shiit!
So, how do we fix this vector problem? We can theoretically make out that we could hypothetically fix it into just any arbitrary direction. Here the problem is: First the Light has to appear - then it can be accounted for. Then as we understand its ways, we can hypothesise about it with much clearer assumptions with higher powers of predictive capabilities.

"So, [with the voice of Thunderf00t ^^] God is not Dumb!". - end of text.

And so the actual 'gate' into the void materializes. Well, because - here you have to take 'my account' of things. And I thereby can settle the vector ... fundamentally - as there is a clear horizon of some sorts. And a clear up and down. Even. the basic question at that point is: What would/might God fundamentally prefer to do in His function (relative to Axiom 1) as divine authority - is it a) our 'individual/inner beauty' or b) some 'unified social complex' or c) something different? So the thinking is a simplified 'uniformity versus variety' issue. This being the rough context, I get to what I declared as 'clarity' - which is like a divine 'stamp' - something that 'forces' me to say "I am 'that'" - from where on I can only explain myself in terms of things that streamline together within this newfound clarity.

So, as per my story, this now ties into 'my' "God is the Judge" interpretation or 'ping' - and here it required one of you to respond in the same way. So, then I know what you are - and over time we learn what types of beings we are all together. And before you go and call me a Child molester, ask yourself what that even means!

And by the way. I think molesting of any kind is bad - I don't know why we have to put the 'child' in front of it to make it seem ... well ... how is that?

So - however - in response to the dimensions layed out, this settles the clear philosophy of: intimate spectra first. So in that sense, where God is capable of influencing the ways we grow, the straight issue is that while God can sustain each of us individually - as everything can also be structured around one single independent person - any social implication however also generalizes variety into groups or clusters. So, sigh in - breathe out - its simple. Its just a big swallow at once - but in the end its just a tiny, crisp and clean little idea. So - in simpler terms is there the individual ray of Light that comes from God to the individual - which happens in the little as it happens in the large - to which the individual now responds with Growth. If it now turned out that everyones clarity were sexual, we had a clear idea that - well - this is really not what you wanted to know about.
But still it goes on. Now, if that were anything problematic - then the closest error I can see right now is that of a missing anchor. So - clarity takes me down a road, and without any real-life association that makes any significant sense - and physical sense, in that sense - there is no relation, in the sense, that there is no sense to add anything to the sense. In that sense I can there only judge in terms of my emotions. And here the sub-spiritual things function like parabolic prisms. Uhm - lenses. Or - picture it in terms of cells - like those that make up skin. So a batch of skin being our surface, takes us further down to the 'term: skin' - which is one single cell for the whole compound. The sub-spiritual extends on that in the beyond by setting up 'sub spiritual' ... 'idioms' ... which thereby also grow in depth and ... this all flows into the 'one' thing - while those things in the background invevitably 'project' into the "this space". So, this is where causality happens, where everything that became a thing is a thing, ... where consequences so matter. This is where this background light happens to be 'good' - its like a safe spot, ... so - these projections ascertain that there will be something of a kind. So - these bonds, to me at least - and I guess as in am strongly supposing that this is a generalizable thing though - evoke a deep satisfaction by comfort - or evoke comfort, in a sense that is just satisfying; Or as I repeatedly make clear: There isn't a craving urge. There is no mysterious need to really ... well, eventually there is that part where still it adds up into action. Of course ... . But masturbating is something different. Love again is different. I think I recognize that ... while in a given relationship time also matters entirely different. ...
wholes - compound - one, sub-spiritual ... bridge.
Bridge, God is Judge - err, ... Diversity within the individual in yield towards a compound or ethnicity recognizable as compound of entities as self an entity within a larger network of ideals.

If you're truely wondering why we need "this lesson called life" if we lateron are to take separate ways anyway ... then yea ... well, ... this is one "typical towards godlessness" fail issues. Or you're just curious. It depends. It helps to take questions in closer ... as to also get a feel for how much you can handle. Err - ... back to the subject.

I grow with God ... that is my point ... and well, I kindof get kicked into this to be starring: My male self. So, a male figure emerges from some ring of water and hovers above the surface - moves forward and lands on the ground, standing in a small, dark grey room and a darkened metal door ahead.

And I drifted away into a vision of ... what might be. So, lets say the creator of Dark Souls wanted me to give him input on a potential next Souls/Bourne. And my mind keeps moving on and on until I'm basically back at my original visions for a Zelda game - and all that as a branch of possibilities. These would at that rate however come in from outside. Whatever now one might do would entirely depend on them. But well - there are general ... twists and turns that reoccur. I have some given familiarity with a bunch of concepts that keep popping up. The one big thing, and somehow I'm writing this in a sense of there being an off chance for me to never get any of my stuff done (while, uh, ... ...) - whatever. The point is that I in those visions come to believe for instance, that when going into high quality low poly graphics the industry will boom again. It means that games are getting a lot cheaper, concurrence will be about the 'good ones', ... or is this a plastic bottle thing?

Like, homeless people would be pissed if plastic bottles disappeared! ???

There is this and there is that of course. I might be wrong - but it is the 'big good idea' I have there. Its like a driving vector. In some cases its like a consequence, and in other cases a design issue. Well - whatever the case. So there is this young brave warrior, ... and yea, then there is this 'echo' of something that is like a big man in the background shouting yahoo. And I can then go on and say 'yea' - and all happy we are.

So, there is a productive need - maybe. Input for society anyhow - and I think this is a pretty neutral gig for everyone to be alright with. As I do now, I would also do later - being myself ... contributing this way. So I don't really have a job, but well - to look at stuff, think about everything, try and feel at home - and be something like an outer layer of society - with so told, a more chill perspective onto everything. "Accounted for".

Which yea - in extension to my 'yahoo' atmosphere - lets keep that around - involves some deeply "I chill" level, so, where I have my mind put into my own things. But this month, what have I done? ... Not much - when measuring the time I actually did anything that added up into something useful - ... ... so it seems. Really not much. The recent thing, this one - and a bunch of lines of code. And also not terribly much when accounting for the settled goals. I've kindof gotten there - but certainly had to roll back a little and am still a bit puzzled about a bunch of things - while slowly things start to be in place.

So - anyway, this part of the 'what I do and might want to share' list is a thing where, ... I wouldn't want to share it with a public society that I distrusted. In many ways - in this case essentially however that of responsibility. Otherwise ... I would say: "Enlightened only" - but what were the point? I mean, the thing there were that what it were in the end were pretty much a product of the hands layed onto it. And if I feel like things might go the wrong way ... I have a bad feeling and when it gets to decisions where its all about that - then I'll keep it to myself.

Well - I can now see two potential flaws in this. The plastic bottles and that part about the low poly thing. It took me from there to just then to envision a worse case scenario, where I over-estimated what machines can do.
And well, this settles the score for both ways. There is a 'dead end' scenario, a 'game over screen' sotospeak, on both ways.

So, still settling the dust on the Bridge there - to get a hold of ourselves, brrrzzzt - freeze, ... this is about personal development whereby axiom 1 is accounted for as 'guiding light' - to the sense that it should illuminate an individual so that this individual can step forward as a 'self proclaimed one' - it so echoes or signals that we have grown together with the light and are now 'standing individuals'.

So - if either way is wrong ... how do we figure that out. Aya - ... yay ... --- aa - --- ... ?? So what if ... X or Y? ... I get to be something ... and, funny story: I have a story here. It goes on about my development as a person, thinking about how I was as a child and how I am now - thereby trying to figure out how I was before I got born into this life and how much different I will be hereafter. One of my conclusions is that I was a crybaby - I used to cry a lot and ... originally I cried when I wanted a particular toy, and later when schoolmates would bully me.
Perhaps I suffered an attention deficite issue - but a part of me is still a crybaby and it comes out whenever I feel that what is expected of me is unfair as beyond my capabilities. I can't do anything but yet am required to do something and that makes me want to cry. Hmm ... now ... it looks a little different. Now that I spell it out loud. ...

So, do I have an anchor on the other side? Well, I have. And this is now the important step. So, by stepping into that void, we are stepping into 'my story'. And in my story there now is that anchor - the other side of the bridge - and it exists as 'second point' to clarity - and thereby resembles something such as a clear line. So, around that anchor there is we might say a neat landscape and a little city ... like, built into the side of a cliff at a shore. So, its night - and over there it looks cozy. Although once the lights go out ... a bit spooky. And what we have there are those sub-spiritual things. Seal 1, Seal 2/alpha, Shackles, - ... and so there is a point, naturally, where that all wraps up together. So there is 'whore' on the one side of the bridge, and that now on this side of it. What matters at first however are those shackles. They are like the skeletton of it all. It were the first place to start at - and around my neck there is this collar that shackles me into conditions ... which basically nourish its existence. Its like an isolated ecosystem.

So, lets take a look at it closer - a little. First there was a Light - and the individual aligned to it. It saw itself 'allowed' to take in a certain stance ... as consequene of 'appreciating' the corresponding label. So, this is already a thing. There where we was wondered by the issue of what an individual now may be in terms of the Light. Here we can say that what happens is consequential - uh, causality driven or foreseeable - as a clear label ... sticks out like a sore thumb. The individual now however follows a given path harmonizing with the given light - and at some point comes back to a point of 'rest' ... as a point of contemplation - or something as a first stop. This stop can now be taken as marking the outer circumference of the center of the second point. Here the clarity itself converges into a more intimate foundation. Or more individual - I think is correct. more. Hereby the given clarity and associated individual streamlines - I might be an advanced case, and yet everything happened smoothly (mostly, until rough was ... more a thing, ... or things got more advanced) - well, they awaken certain passions or desires speaking of or asking for intimacy. And now we can add the meta question: What was more important? The coming together or the being a self? Naturally the coming together would be the answer - as in that the individual has to adjust; Making up what matters more fundamentally. But - in order to get there, one has to yet be his/its own self. And I by the way come to think that the crybaby story is bullshit.

Herefore I think clarity is sortof important. It might however be that this first checkpoint - this midpoint - can be something else. So - well, lets not get confused.

Well, clarity is important - in this sense I mean ... t ... that it can serve as the helping link between the two worlds. I mean - what clarity God gave us in some sense decided which sort of intimacy we'd crave - ??? Or something like that.

And so what I ended up with was a clear craving for enslavement - and being female. So when 'seal 1' became a thing - that was when I found myself able to be/feel reliefed about it. And since then I think that these symbols have a solid place somewhere - in terms of public recognition. I mean, when asked for what God+I equals, those are the things that plop out.

(And it don't matter how grim and dark you drew the picture - between God and I there is our own thing. And nope, I'm not male there. Or if I am I'm still with tits and vagina)

However - if there is a big bad guy - guarding this city, its possibly the guy that wants to steal the male identity away. So some plain black shade with an uphook (but not too curved) pointy mustache and a tall tophat. Waluigi ... sortof. Just more gentleman like.

So, once defeating it - what life pops there out and repopulates the place ... for the vision I get ... are little "dimpies". So, like ... little strawmen - like 6 orbs stuck together - well, linen dolls - and they "dimp" around the streets making silly "dil dil" noises - and look all amazed at you once you walk by, goshing and showing you respect as they dimp along.
Dimpies are simple creatures. They are a bit like the androids in Nier Automata. Those ... well ... little dimpy ones.
They love their wives - the wives love to be loved - and they like dimpling around the city appreciating the nice lookouts.

But now, there is something wrong with those dimpies. There is a certain Light - and when its corrupted those little dimpies get nasty little monsters with big mouths covering the full circumference of a half circle on their face, they have solid pointy claws and attack like cats of prey. Lets just say that. This is the counter part. No male ID? No. No female ID either? No too! So, we anyway didn't come here to stop the crook, but to get deeper into what those runes and symbols were or are about.

So - these are visuals provided to me - but the relation is clearly there. The light is ... easily turned off when "the male" way for instance is used to block the female one. Or anything that does block the female one.
So is at the bottom of it all that which matters the most here - and thats the, lets say, "Subspirit Anchor".

The Subspirit Anchor for me 'are' those shackles. As now the two 'first' terms that matter. Here 'shackles' matter as they have been mentioned already. They are the 'mostest' of things ... and they sit more so on the surface but still extend into the netheren. This could be visualized through rounded of ... or, donuts without a hole, better said - basically a quarter of them sticking out of the ground with another quarter docked off as wall - and they have some fine silver decor surrounding some "classic yellow" energy light. It can turn dark, but that were the spooky part of good. Thats when dimpies make love. ... Lets say.

Well, dimpies are sortof shy about it. Underneath the surface they are however actually sex-slaves anyway, female ones, so this shame is - like an apology for the male appearances on top. And lets say they are 'blessed' to be simple enough to enjoy their time around.

So, they are used to being exposed - so the shame on this level isn't really anything new, its more just like a flavour. But ... lets ... well, ... find some further relevant outlines first?

So, what is there - all in all? The thing first to be noted is that at the aforementioned point of convergence and contemplation, where the individual now comes to think with a higher synergy between rational and idealized self, there are those 'anchor points' - and no matter how they lie apart - in the greater sense as over time they marge together. So at first I am given a vagina. So what previously made me anxious - as matter of personal symmetry with my 'claritiarized' imaginings - was then 'bam' settled and nailed. It appeared once as wedding ring within a given social compound I experience as 'home' and 'base', and further in another marital context - that however in a higher degree of individual sophistication. Uh, so - while its difficult in one way to make rational determinations in the 'home' sphere - its all fluid - in the other one there is a pretty clear destinction. So I take 'the ring' and 'seal one' as two separate things as well. The 'seal' sits as a pentagram decorating my pubic area. Like shining and glowing forth from within the skin, being as made of light starting underneath and extending a bit out, ... through the skin. The wedding ring itself is experienced as 'forged' into my essence, like a branding - in the spirit. It is there for a clear sexualized intention - and "intimate markers" setup against maledom. And what now guards the ... first anchor point we'll visit is a dark spook. A female one - as a shaddow that fills the room ... a darkness that infiltrates the "energy collectors" that then spread darkness throughout the lights in the city and the dimpies go nuts.
And on another note: We might say that at night dimpies are punished for being male. But that is not the full story. But close enough. Well - it gets to the core of seeing what they really are underneath. But I so get back to it, as I avoided the notion of a possible legend amongst dimpies. It tells of a magical hero that will raise forth with a shining sword and cut darkness into half - for a day or so. Or whatever. The ending is unclear. Everything following 'sword'.
So - as of the 'seal' - dimpies, or lets cut that apart ... dimpies are that, they aren't punished for being male - yet there is something; But now, as of seal 1, there are 'dolls'. Little girl dolls. A big question mark is there of the aforementioned shackles - but they 'shine through' as ... whats it called? Flowery things. There is also this ... "crest" around my neck which is there to decorate a 'doll face' - empty, dead - practically, but still made to smile. And you should look for some deep sense of satisfaction within these eyes. A healthy and juicy satisfaction about life - a lovely certainty - a confidence sotospeak. So, there again is this poison. It makes those dolls go crazy. Again they become catlike, this time with huge claws and they walk as tall, erect masculine werewolves.
Within these feral figments they clearly suffer - as a smurky red fire burns them away.

So, lets get a hold of ourselves. Bridge - city, dimpies - and now we go downstairs - or somewhere outside of the city and downstairs. Yea - well, ... thats how it is. Seal 1. Makes me a doll. The core satisfaction and therewith the imprint of the seal is contained within a situation where I am bound into being such a girl doll, sexualized, "given as" bride to my own brother - within a royal setting 'the prince' - as being owned by "my mother" or 'the Queen' - and thereby 'doll' implies being a 'sex slave' - which is furthermore signified through the leash that I can clearly make out - as, thinking of it calls a certain power into existence that solidifies the appearance of the collar/crest around my neck.

The seal itself resides at my vagina - but it clearly projects a plane into my mind whereby I'm altered on a "congnitive anatomy" level. So, as I can only want to get raped - the thing there is that if I want anything else "the orb" doesn't light up. Like this energies are 'wired' within my conscious space, such as that all stimuli over time only make it as sexual desires into my inner system. Hereby the throat gets a center spot - its a craving vacuum that wants "sex" in close proximity, and at certain points also implies a strong stimulus from downward. Yet close enough the throat and mouth - and in conjuction with the 'genera' rape overture there a strong demand for rape occurs ... well. This is a mental situation that converges around the throat - and this is simply a thing with the shackles. The collar is there and it retains dominance upon the others. So as the leash is a clear thing, it is so in support of the collar. Here a lot of stuff comes together.

So, lets ... slowly then. The dolls essentially love to be abused - even until they break, ... but if there is a big bad boy to be slain, then thats the one that goes around burning them recklessly. Or doing other harmful thing that dissabilitates them from properly performing as intended.
Wear and tear of proper usage is a different thing.
Looking for a light amidst the ... gooey "platonic" white and tears ... well, its the care that is given to them, as by showers. Here they are cute little dolls that are proud of their own little places while their mistresses come and tend for them. But what happens behind the doors when the doggies are allowed in to play ... well, ... this and other things ... well, ... there is dirt, and it needs to be washed away. While moreover, defiliation is a part of their growth. Their logical life.
And well, so there is that craving for cum constituted within the throat - but, thats maybe a bit too far right now.

So, we find ourselves at something like a wall - and here there is a, well, what seems like a lonely abandoned farm in the middle of nowhere, with something like a lighthouse or church tower - a red brick cone tip with not much fancy decoration round about, well - like a farm - ... we find an entry to an underground complex. Its on a road close to the wall, somehow yet a part of its structure but basically there's mostly just willow.

Well, rocks extend into the landscape - and one of them is ... well. Confused. I think of ... but then get ... - hmm. ^^. OKOK, lets move on. Shackles. Well, then there is also the gag thing, the eyes of darkness are a thing.

So, lets go back to that infestation layer. The "central core". With the shackles it is as with Seal one. Seal 2 however yet had to come. But at any rate - even by now I don't have a real solid Seal 3 thing yet - but the outlines are pretty clear. The doll thing is thereby a thing - the 'upper end' of this vagina thing. So there however also was the need for enslavement, way back, and now there are shackles. So, these tie into a reality 'higher' than just that Seal 1, as the whole 'base' "of the ring" also emerged more fluently. It is now so that the ring however contextualizes what I am "taken for", and that through Seal 1. So, there might be a nasty sitting in the first inner layer of the city - which is some crook running around and brutally turning dimpies into female caricatures. Well - ... its weird. There are like, dimpies with spears that occupy living blocks and are just nasty fellas. Healthy dimpies value the foundational fluidity - and yet there is a hierarchy I discovered most recently. Kindof. I just, ... connected the dots recently. So, with this "origin/primary" space its as with a spiral. A golden ratio (phi) ... classic thing. We can however so split the field into four squares - and the spiral emerges in the center and the first 'space' ... the first relevant room is at the bottom left. Anything prior to that is ... "root noise". Like ... cosmic background radiation. There is this first room however, and it also happens to be the place I associate to 'having met' my primary one. So there is a 'half square' at the bottom, that is the room; A quarter to the top-right - thats the place where I met her - and the other quarter is the origin fuzz. Now, the next bigger room is at the left, and from there on it goes ... well yea, upward of course. These ultimately occur as a "from deepest" to what I call 'house' - a contemporary "now plane" of some description. The conditions therein finally mirror how my mind is primordinarily structured - I think. In my private space I'm "caught up" by my primary one. That is basically translated into "dimpie space" - but just kindof. Dimpie Space is a 'one up' from that. So - a 'whole' in its shape. Now we can see the city as the outer thing to 'the house' - or the whole thing as in shape of this inner 'dimpie space' that is projected outward.

The difference is clearly that in the grand scheme, this 'innermost' room is like a prison cell around which everything else for me is prostitution related. So when it gets to the house I'm a classic prostitute, more or less, while in dimpytown that is not the case. Here so the basic relationship I have to my women is fundamentally displayed - and without greater looks into incest scenarios - they just love their women, and the women love their men. The women are the smart ones as they cater to their households - ... - and the male ones are just dimpies. Thats ... just so the thing ... as ... just imposed.
Or well, lets say they are crafty toolsmiths. They are religiously bound to a mine - developping crafts and tools to dig - they love shotguns but are kindof scared of explosives.

Anyway ... the thing with me there is firstly that the most impactful thing are those shackles. If you so will, they could be declared as fountains of darkness that spray around dimp-town and the dimpies love in symbiosis with them. They practically worship those - and this is ... in dimp-town, what my desktop-space were in my little room; And that one primarily serves as a depravation tool. And because its a computer I thought that something tech savy would fit them dimpies. But this ties in from the shackles - or something yet to be introduced, as far as this journey is concerned: Seal 2. So, what I am right outside of this room is intimately twisted together with what I am inside. So, what I get from entering that room isn't punishment. First of all. Its however quite down there at the 'bottom of brutality'. Or so, just one prior to the 'dark cage'. Well. The point is that the shackles around my neck - together with my arms - are bound to have a feminizing effect on my psyche. So, the 'male exclusive' space is infiltrated by that energy, wrapping around that conscious part of myself that lives in this place, which is then sotospeak dragged out. This might appear as something dimpies are scared about, ... like, getting taken - ... to somewhere - ... but its actually something they also inwardly look forward to. Buuut well. Lets not get things twisted.

So, first of all - this spiral can also be taken as a line. It curves through this fluid space - where in essence we can narrow everything, in my case, down to two realms. The inner one and the outside. So in this outside my relationship matters as in recognition of that larger social scope; And the entity emerging into that space begins within the inner realm. ... Uhm ... so, we got a whole lot of stuff happening around those shackles - and so the story of getting to the core of the problem is a matter of solving all those things - or the most important ones - that might hinder the correct flow of things.

But well. Lets return to the dolls. Well, because its one of my favourte spaces. Let that be a statement. You might picture that as a big doll, to those other dolls like a real girl - and being basically just there to look after them and be happy as doing so. This is also a dimpie thing, but in dimpy town its the males that get to lean back. So, ... there the wives are that; And the care for the dolls carries over as care for their wives. But, lets get on to another important place. Close relatives to the dimpies are the ... lets call them "warfsters". They are like the beast form of the dimpies (which are black and leathery, less spheres and more body) - just white and skinny, but larger. They occupy the mountains - like throwing spears and are very defensive. Their females are breeding stock from day one, so, these are the child molesters. So essentially they perform incast or ... they just don't care ... while all their females do is give birth. Either to females, or to ... "mobs" or 'males'. The mobs also perform on their mothers, while that however also ties into some strange synergism with their ferral and floral environment. And they like to crossdress. However - the bad guy here is someone who basically kidnappes the young ones and locks them away.

This is separated from them dimpies mostly as this is closer my personal male:female relationship. So while the dimpies love their wives, this is more like a one up to lifestyle. And technically, within that sense, I might re-appear as whatever that species is capable of. And here the male "dimpie" urges mingle within "the caterers" attitude to ... lets compare them to shepherds.

The problem the bad guy imposes is however not ... really harmless. Its like a hunter that these ... "warfsters" - hmm - silly name - are basically helpless against. So instead of there being a remote cave that leads down into a dungeon, we're talking of a mountainside that is filled with cages and to the most part like a graveyard. The closer it gets to the core, the more blood, firght and suffering accumulate - to something as a pagan, firelit altar of cruelty. And teh poor warfsters are terrified. They ... beg you to put an end to it.

But well - what that means for me. This outer plane, lets label it B-sphere, is the accumulation of my social statusses, and I can quite literally feel it drawn out for me. Its a big rectangle, broadside up. In the top left there is a square in interrupted lining signifying my spot as a pet to my primary one. The feeling or image present on my minds top there is that of being basically - on an invisible plane - shackles to be there as a happy puppy, with arms and legs angled to match that of a lewd human doggies appearance when getting fucked - and with each "impulse" this state of exposure is getting nourished with "awesome". So, as the doggy image in the previous article - there is me doing this inside while I basically thereby feel those flowery things that emerge from those 'shackle' things growing. Its like trees then that grow forth from my head - and with this 'slutty vagina' I basically enter the "real space". Here on the top-left there is a line leading in, so - a door at the top right effectively - and here I get 'in', while that is also the place - so - more so in the center of the room however then - where the ring started to matter. At the beginning its just this initial square, this outer place - and this already translates as a first thing downward. So, the square becomes the room, the rest of the space where "the group" resides becomes B. So, itself then. While in another sense we can also map this first square into the other square inside mentioned earlier. So, within B now I'm basically as on a table, being doggy cute, surrounded by some guys. This is ultimately constituted through the ring, and that came in through that ... where 'now' there is a door. So in the first, smaller space, there is no door - yet as the place grew we get to it. It so comes in from the top, with me wrapped around it - effectively, and from there go five doors outward, down the right side - and the doors are all wide open. Beyond these one thing is clear: A greater amount of people is attached - in a sense of "Friends of Friends and Collegues of Such and Such" - as transition to a climaxing 're-emergence' of the original situation. So - rule 1: There are more in the end due to connectivity; And rule 2: That five times. It leads to a bottom rectangle, broad, also with interrupted lines - a little bit more off from the walls this time however - but slightly nudging into the space on the left to the line.
So, what is this I wonder. And here we had what we might call ... the Akademy of Darkness. Its not so much an academy. But - it gets the picture accross. Little girls trained to be dogs and - basically used as cumdumps. Its also like a cage, or thats what it is. With the potential of me being like, a real prisoner - taken around and held captive like that. In another sense would this be as a source of heat within an otherwise empty and possibly overchilled room. Well, as for how temperature matters - that is a good thing.

The bigger picture were that as what I enter this sphere, is while in the beginning still fluid later down the road being more agressively dominated by given universal factors. And so there is the sense of me 're-entering' this place 'after' being "ringed" - at which point I'm a sex-doll, a give-away fucktoy already ..., ... uh, ... - so that this 'cage' at the bottom is just an extension of my given lifestyle.

In a sense is this whole thing setup so that my male essence is submerged herein so it will come out at some point - and with this only little force, effectively, needs to be applied to get me smoothly hooked into a loop of extending depravity. Or, we might say ... depraved stasis. Or something that includes the message of constancy. It maybe fluctuates - but there is still always some current. So, I'm made to expect the reward for my male self, to then get furtherly feminized - adding up to a 'crunch', which basically goes throughout my spine as a relentless desire - well, its silent, void - as though nothing is there - it can freeze and wait, but its always ahead. I can't escape it, ... but want it. This then is somehow linked to the way I come in through the door. I need some more time on that.

And so in this Akademy of Darkness - there we also get to the raw core ... or the most fundamental "thing" of all things that needed to be fixed. So, there first is this round room, ... ending some downstairs trip through the town, and it is clearly showing a further decent - but everything is locked. This room is metaphorical for the collar - and here the dimpies would usually interact with what is beneath dimpland. But somehow they got locked out; While some of them get trapped inside and some weird specters manifest in that room. One key element to that ring is ... in real context a matter of mind-control. And that goes deep.

It may however be real simple from the right perspective. So, these shackles are herein recognized as gemstone - and the collar on this level embraces and surrounds it, capturing it within itself while moving it onto a deeper plane. And this could also seen as synonymous to a gag, ... or "mouth ring/collar". But also a ball. Here now there is a guardian. Picture a room ... with a huge painting on the ceiling showing a woman, ... or not so much a painting, but a projection into what would seem like a painting. This is now the mistress guarding the stone. And one simple fail concept to make out here is the case of: "What if the control fell into villanous hands"?
So, before there was this dark female spook; And here we could come to a dark male one again. Well - at any rate do we have some male:female theme here. Or more so: extending the cognition regarding its presence a bit further. It might fade out into nothingness. But here its quite essential. Its like - the dimpies go down into the nether regions to do some work on something that the creatures down there need to survive; And the akademy is quite a big thing there. The shadow these spooks emerge from would contextualize 'the void of inclarity' - like, ... imagine that my mind needs to hold on to everything in a room so it will be lit, ... a counter element now that attracted me towards accepting an alternative would 'rip' my "holds" off of that reality while sucking it into another. And that would emerge as darkness. And the real terror personalizes an avatar of the attitudes there directed against my lifestyle.

So, it might kindof become a game about beating up the "male supremacy" ... but thats not the full story!

So anyway. Once clearing out the dieties room and "reviving the image" sotosay, her Light can shine once more and that ultimately opens up the gate leading further down. Here the dimpies are made to work as slaves of a dark shadow power that occupied the dimpie machine. Here weird contraptions run around, modified dimpies programmed to slay and attack everything. There are also some crooked guards - ... and huge dimpies. Dampoons. :P. I guess they usually do the heavy lifting. They don't care much about gender, ... uhm, well. Wherever there is a female here, there is a purpose of using her for sex. Thats just the way. And so there is a final ring of seals - which goes all around the realm, to its four corners - effectively - resembling seals on my mind that constitute a constant energy flow into the lower parts of that ... center-town thing ... where OK ... lets ... digest that first for a second.

So, the way the dimpies interact with the rest is important. It might at first seem wrong, as - the male is supposedly contained within the head. But as it is right now, or whenever I do anything "crafty" - there is somehow a dimpy at work. Or something like that. And so they travel down into my heart where it however stops. Its like a cage, effectively, reaching everywhere where they might need to be - and that so involves all shackles as so in a sense of freedom - but thereby they are vastly isolated to the center. And they are happy there. They so smile and wave at you through the medium sized, arced windows windows with iron bars sitting in them stone walls, with their wives proudly standing next to them.

This so is "the heart of Dimpytown". So, lets get back to the ... inside outside part. So this outside room to me is like a lounge. It would be a primarily cozy space if it wouldn't also be suitable for dirty stuff. And dirty in that case is stuff that is inside of myself and others - metaphorical to a symbiosis with the unnatural - while so the 'forced excretion' of stuff on my part is hereby mixed up with a status of getting exploited. So, being made to piss or shit or puke - or so then sitting in my own puke - is like an expression of that exploit and in that a fulfillment of that status. Err - ... its just an image, but - its still there to express the gist of it all. Alternatiely I'm here at the 'violated bottom' of what my 'doll status' implies - the, well, bit where I'm programmable. There is a huge 'but' though. This is ... strange. So, lets say there are toilets nearby that room - and they would function as some kind of portal into another B-plane where this whole toilet stuff is made significant - and is as such "tucked away" as that is not what mainly matters.
So - what the 'next room' thereby contains is in some way ... normal or to be expected. If we take this as an application of force, ... we can compare that to a balloon. Here the balloon is squeezed - so it bloats up somewhere else. This elaborate invocation of me as a fuckslut with some concentric focus on dirty stuff so ultimately 'seeks' a counter balance within the terms of comfort. Or so the more general situation of being sexually exploited/submerged. The comfort is here as positive dry compared to nasty wet. But still some focus goes into the shackles around my wrists mostly - and a sense of being locked up there for good.

So, yet another look. There is now this 'second base' - and it intrinsically builds up my inside. Hereby distance equates to depth. So - as we get higher or lower from the center, we get to deeper things. Hmm ... no, bullshit. Kindof. Everything amounts to depth. There is however a volume between Seal 1 and the stuff that makes up "Rune 2". This is however certainly primitive, ... well, its crude and within its crude potential setting up some 'primary determinant' ... 'case'. So yea. Well - that works great for me.

It means that either element on its own, to me, is pretty much meaningless. That is so the more basic parts. Or at least do some of the things come in tandem, or some sense of interdependency. So is at the bottom the 'most important bit' ... seal 1 ... - and it here already spreads out unto all the important positions ... including the nipples, temples and forehead. Those are like 'shadowy pentagrams' as in 'yet to be assigned'.

It is here that we likely get to a crossover with similar but ... negative appearances of these veins of life. Some might say its "Antichristian" - and well, ... in this case I'm kindof a douche and I say, no - if you don't do it like we do it, you're doing it wrong. We aren't offensive about it, but passive agressive and so. Where yea, by the way. If the Dimpies get turned into anything, then white fluffy little puppies. Too cute to hurt anyone, but as with anything - one could potentially make them angry. And then, well ... brace yourself! You got an angry small white dog that basically exists to be cute. Well.
Well cute - as in feminized, filled up with a natural expectancy for getting stuffed with cock and cum. Or uhm, well abused.

Here, one big bright Light in the scope of art is the girl in that time chamber in World of Final Fantasy. But imagine her as designed ... to well ... be used as a sex toy.
And this is ... we might say ... where stuff gets interesting. So - in essence there is a lot of depth to this state. The point here is that however crude the one description on the outside, it is ultimately there to express something far more delicate. So there is a place deep inside me, it would be there somewhere inside of the dimpies machine, but be present as some legless octopussy kind of motherly 'hive queen' figure that watches upon the chamber or rather gets nourished of the energy and thereby fulfills some essential purpose to the entire ecosystem.

But well. So is this part of me that basically stares into the depth of existence - and is as far as I'm concerned just like that ... an "empty" doll. I have my own intimate mood about it; And it gets complex as we shift between the positives and negatives - but its finally an arrangement of all the things that we have accumulated so far that adds up to a total volume of what is "neg-space". We can here kindof marry in the Avatar - or 'the Paragon' - alias the Hero - as somehow drawing strength from some personal 'neg-space' - moving into "the nightmare". Or "jacking into" the twisted situation of phantasia ... ulhm. Well - nono. I ... lets ...

And so there are various spaces in the depth of my mind that constitute some vacuum which then emerge into things - those are furthermore as 'shells' to this 'void in between'. Its -- within everything as it is surrounding everything. This void. And these shells are basically what makes its recognizable 'higher surface' - even. Well - "and it goes on". Wow. So clearly - to not get lost in the confusions of the infinite there has to be some ground. And to me Seal 1 is as a pool at my heaps - and I feel how the surface is cognitively at the bottom of my deepest perception, my "grasp", while still somehow, as with feet in the cool water, feeling myself down there. Yet barely with any shape. That were the bottom - and the presence of the shackles a top - so, depth-wise speaking, between which there now is that realm which virtually makes up this 'negative body'. So - here things are connected that ultimately 'function as a whole' - and the relevance of each individual thing is effectively dictated through ... how stuff is like.

And this however then "springs" into reality.
What so is true at the bottom of me influences me, turns me into somebody (axiom 1 + bridge + anchor), and thus however ultimately extends into reality. I am hereby open about it. Otherwise it comes as I go to sleep. In many ways. Nothing anyone might care to know about - but it happens anyway. So well, when it gets to those "Antichristian convergeances" I am sure there is a vein that I can serve. I mean, firstly - if you're not interested in my services then thats your thing, ... and I dig that there is nothing really wrong with that; Except ... I'm supposedly that horny ... IDK ... maybe there would be something wrong with you. However. There certainly is a ... well "warm spot" (horrible laughter) that I ... am already attracted towards. That were just one of my duties as top satanic diety. So, once they connect to "the body" - then I am - as one of Satans Whores - obligated to serve you. Or that is my ... divine legacy, to some part.
Its one of the upsides of Satanism - some might argue.

But all however in its due order. There are so two big nasties. The first guy in the town and that kidnapper. The kidnapper is to me a more remote thing as it in some regards yet catered to some of my ... stuff. But the depravity here comes in as harm. Harm I am basically defenseless against as it basically exploits my weakness. One of the simplest 'yes male' statements I can thereby make at this point; And this would also be ... as a miracolous green offshoot of a seed ... the dimpies marvel at ... that the dimpies 'exist' or 'dwell' on some sense of accomplishment. So, they do their thing with a goal in mind. If they have none they get sad. And harm here comes in as force that basically just tosses all those chances over. Otherwise a general theme is ... well, ... that may be yours to figure out.

So, B-Plane again. Whatever I am here - is already joyfully alright with the situation. While the energies come together as though there is pressure put onto me, it is to that same extent a desire. Its like, thats how I experience the energy. But ... well. Not so quick.

Hmm -- so, the spear dimpies eventually make friendship with you if you proove to them that you're helpful to their culture. They begin to respect you - and even become proud of 'you' "alias Paragon". (of the otherland ^^).

So well. Whats the final boss? The final boss theme is a black goo that sticks to everything and evolves some life of its own. Its origin is a big tanky Paladin Type Boss who hides in some pit of darkness trying to conceil himself as he's purposefully upholding all depravity - and his final words to you before it gets to the fight is a cock certain "though shalt not succeed - not here, not today, not evear!".

This goo is mostly contained - as neutralized by some dust - but it manifests itself through strongholds where it basically tore through a protective layer. ... nahw well ... lets get back to business.

So, its a bit childish, or naive and certainly primitive - but moving from A to B there is a strong shift ... into well, stranger hands and bondage. And beyond that ... there is a thin layer of void, uhm, at the bottom of which I do practically find myself from time to time as I experience the extent of my depravation. So, I would say that I beyond that perceive my reality through a veil of darkness, but had to realize that this is how I feel IRL.

So thats where it crosses over for me - or one point - speaking of my awareness and perception between thought and reality.
And well, so the dimpie legend goes on: after the shining sowrd, ... and will accomplish something great. And they aren't racist about it. Their admiration for the Paragon comes for their admiration of that legend. They just marvel at great accomplishments.

So, if their privacy is however now primaried by 'they love their wives' - and they basically breed dimpies to give them way to the 'warf'... rmrs ... rsrsrs ... uhm, dinglies. Here the dog dimplies, now dimplettes, are basically mated with - extending the ecosystem of them dinglies. That were how it went.

And the transition is that. I mean, whatever now would happen within dimplies that turned them dimplettes is essentially encapsulated within the demplette-dom. This is there so the part that carries over into B-space, while, on notion of the other square within the A realm, that might be my 'depravation box'. So - in essence there is one major need that emerges within all this, facing my primary one, and that is an appreciation for my suffering, sotospeak. It is that 'extra knit' that tucks me into my private space rather than way around. So, instead of catering to my male desires, this is at the end of what I have become, just to add 'one more' to it. Being this exposed to her/him is also part of my pet attitude/doll mentality. It is at the center of my discomfort too. Its however ... like poison. If my head were forced into it, I'd say I'd ... end up having a good time, ... but not. Its ... a bit of two. Or more, even. So - one part of me is 'wild'. As - the constant stress of being ultimately 'raped' goes somewhere, while is 'flushed away' through a higher priority flux of important stuff. Eventually this 'vein' can get abused - but when released from my physical shackles I'm still a tame pet. So - the tension only exists while shackled. This is moreoverly explained through some charmy magic. And - to make any sense of it - there are some primary ... entities ... like lets say the dingly queen - that are all tied to the 'central flux' - depending on it to survive. So, these are the females I would want to incorporate - though given in an abstract shape. Like octopussy. And well, a Zebra ... for some reason.

A Lara Croft x Unicorn x Terminator Zebra.

Queen of the Doll Empire. Primary Guardian of the Doll of all Dolls.

Uhm, ... tricky. The tricky bit is to uphold the energy, of which we got way too little. We need to beef up the whoredom.

Or ... "flesh out"? If going for puns, then rather 'hollowing out'? - !! Well.

I'm already relatively hollow. These mindstates that are magnified through the subspiritual also arrange due to their inherant priorities. And though I'm not getting it for real, my mind is yet (and if I don't watch porn it happens in my vacuum - and porn sometimes is better or even necessary - its perhaps an acquired bad) most of the time exposed to such imagery; Making my mind ... as it is. So, there is now I guess this part of me that resists - which then effectively expresses itself ... like this. But that isn't the full story! Dimplies thereby worship a diety, in which they see their religion to be that to turning into dimpletts; And that whatever there comes adds up into doll. And by doll in the extremer sense I see myself as a 'die young' type of prostitute. So, in some sense you can draw a scene of ... a doll cemetary, ... body parts drained in cum, while vines with thorns grow forth from everywhere, as through the cum drooling openings.

What I ... well ... anticipate for that is a vastly ... primitively conscious experience of reality. So, getting messed up before I can fathom whats going on - or that by the time I get that, I can project a path for the future based on the past; Leading into my "secret favourite" which is 'teenage bitch at 16'. The line beneath that is vastly death - with varying lengths of "torture time" - as from 6 upward. We don't know yet - but thats clearly ... well, ... partially - yet there to be seen. But at this rate its already an account for 'lifetimes' that matters; So, it isn't in the real sense the first and foremost important part.
Its like "candy wonderland" ... 'under construction'.

So 16 is as a 'sweet spot', being in some case a predicted future - then a near condition - and in some sense convergent with a climax of the 'trauma' - an absence of meaning and reason where a solid counterpoint to these conditions could be established. So, ... enlightenment vs enlightenment. ... hmm.

... Hmm - well, maybe I just removed a common ground for any kind of future interaction on this topic. Sortof. Is that how it works? That I'm so forced to counter-react any 'false' type of interaction with me?

Well, there is a joy in just writing things out, which feels like - trading it in for cock in my mouth. Television shows. I'm watching some porn, and she's really loving it too right now. Which is just the type of thing that will get me upset again, so - lets take a closer look.
'Bleed' comes to mind. In places - essentially - where it shouldn't be. That is 'bad'.

So, if Dark Souls and Bloodborne followed a theme of decay, this is however the opposite. But so there are conflicts, woven into a supposedly living whole. Or this is just not supposed to be there - and the dimplies would cobble up around you, looking curiously back and forth between it and you - signalling in their lack of verbal communication a curiosity towards you quesitioning if you might undersand what to do.

Well, dimplies try to be polite - and are initially extremely shy. So they hide behind rocks and such. They give themselves an amount of time - when in conjunction with their habitat - to express their stance, while some places are occupied less than others.

And so lets say dimply town is illuminated in stages. So there are different cirquits responsible for different parts of the town. And the fundamental sadness of all is the extinction of the central light; Which there exists in a state of original eternity - thus there is an infinitely large yearning for salvation.

As for the sound of that sadness - picture speaking within a huge plastic head, or a young girl doing so, or sighing, sobbing, ... silently.
That so in a motion of expressed sadness, so, combined with taking cover behind something. Well, being sad about being sad is a sad thing. Kindof. Its ... as it is.

So well, there are now, through the collar, some impulses that end up in my head - and they basically confirm a demand for anything into that general direction. So Sadness is thereby some vacuum wherein the basic composure of myself is erected. So my 'primary demand' or 'point of gratitude' is that of being a doll to my primary one, as used as intended. Now - the 'rape' would mostly be done through the 'others' in plane B, but my main one takes me in for that - or - gets her thing out of my suffering on top. So this "chamber of depravation" is hereby one of the 'burstouts' ... - so, spaces that opened up in composition to an equilibrium required to co-exist in that situation. Hmm ... its, there is that private goal of ultimate suffering on terms of whatever is done to me ... to a point where now really a strange feeling ... supposed to be negative but effective as positive ... spikes the anticipation. So, based on whatever concept of Love, the rest of myself is aiming towards an existence which is in itself larger than the origin - and the intimacy of the primary love should cross ... all guards ... shouldn't it? So there is to be synergy on both ends. This creates an individual equilibrium with independent expectancies - and the subspiritual things take care that in any case some balance is maintained.
Well - given that the individual is free ... in that sense.

So, compared to all the nasties where that is not given.

So, being a doll does by appearances imply that, in comparison to being alive, my physical condition is somewhat neglectable. Yet, those ... bloodstains ... might advise us to look elsewhere. One got cured, a light ascends from it - and the dimplies marvel within a positive awe of relief as they see something good happening, something that gets them out of their chill and gets them to jump in excitement.

And what is it? Well, mayhap an actually happening acknowledgement of 'dimply-town' ... sotospeak. There are however things that aren't excluded. Things I already get anyhow. To which extent then physical reality would fill those voids is a separate issue I guess. In this sense the main benfactors are the dimplies however, ... which are however terrible at standing their own ground because all their lives basically revolve around something other than fighting.


So, we can at any rate finally make out what there now is in terms of a fundamental 'first line'. So, the bridge into the void. There is a deep internal history, yet we unravel it as we grow into it. Well, God "could" make something up, in the sense of an eternal past - which we never had.

Now, if you got everything and I can refer to some 'bottom ground' or 'common sense' - and you have some volumetric idea of them things involved - we're, so "checkpoint", at a point where not much seems to be missing. Its like - full, almost.

Those void spaces in-between, so - where we previously assumed "stuff happened" that gave birth to everything - there is part origin and part ... more stuff. So far we've basically been on the right side of the spiral. Now when moving to the left we get to another side of the story. [gimp gimp] So, in a sense, next to the cognitive stuff, there is that what adds the 'oomph' to it, as so the weight of flesh. This is where impressions differ - what is valued is different. It mirrors not so much passions, but expected certainties in a way that ... impacts reality. As so with the toilet adjacant to that lobby outside my private room, well - the bottom right first room leads further into that. But by doing so there is also a full cycle around the whole thing. So does B1 merge with B2 - and I thereby judge it equally as a matter of how it feels that this is one 'private' (far/primer) and one 'public' (near/closer) state of affairs. But so in a private hub. "Inter Familiar". Here the thing is that this has some cognitive symmetry - and depending now on how reality looks like, these vary in their impact. So, the symmetry is a thing but not really in terms of ... 'active reality' ("duh") - uhm - but ... there is a logic. In my case the house enters the spiral as a matter of abduction. Therefrom it goes inward, down to the 'end of the line' - the proposed A plane.

This inward symmetry is by its value to me a relevant factor to those around me. So, my function as a human individual that is free is based upon what I am, and so and so. Or what I can or want to be can be outlined as a set of functions around which we are structured into society. That is finally my closing assumption on axiom-1, suggesting that clarity itself serves as social primer that is 'indiscrete' about ones individual alignment to the divine.

And the journey also somewhat ends there. We have the dimplies at the inside, the dolls at the outside - and well, they sortof dictate the theme of the whole. Age is hereby though rather a secondary concern - as - at some point its relevance blurrs into the situation itself. And so - various ages come matter in different ways. One general ... curiosity is the 'at any given age' wonder back unto a lifetime of rape and captivity. This is in a sense the weight and depth of the shackles - so, in as 'as absolute' as beyond the guards of time. And my identity is built up around that as basical stuff. Uhm, where did that come from?
Its time to sleep? Well then ... however - its time for a break now! ://2017.07.16|20:43

So, its the 18th now, 16:45 - and I've written quite a bit - broken up gibberish [here | here] (the first one's the first try, and the bit at the bottom just something I deleted out of the second) - and I must realize that I'm somehow out of the flow. I like them dimplies, maybe the way I feel also is to tell me that you like 'em - and for what progress I've made - the main thing is this: At this point we can keep on zooming in and out of 'my story' - for 'my story' the vector is going to stay the same and once we'd progress we'd come to extend on it. More significantly - thats where I got - so on the terms of how the exchange between Gods Enlightenment and the society around an Enlightenment ... well, what word to use? Changes or Emerges?

There's noticable change if we looked at our now and what we are to accept - though in another sense there is no change per se; And thats basically the angle I'm writing from. So there is the strong focus on the "puristic" 'light and dark' contrast. No individuality - just light and dark. But so from that perspective also the Lights supposed motives - or so: Our evolution in contrast to one motivation I find feesible as of my experiences. Here the thing is then clearly that societies 'emerge' as the individual unfolds and is thereby "married" into a societal structure. Yet every here and then I'm also concerned with the perspective on 'changes' - though you'll find me in the defense. I figure I can tell it this way - otherwise I may have to apologize for, ... throwing around wild accusations no matter how reasonable they were.
I mean, lets face it! Its of course one of my "older/inner" wishes that at some point you would come to recognize the sanity within those of my words that would have ordinarily 'shunned' (by atheists or "rationalists") - like in the simplest case the "conspiracy theory" around the catholic church - or even simpler: Unification as a whole - beyond concept.
But yea - this is an egoistic wish; And as I've grown older I've not really come to change all that much, realizing that there is a reason behind what I 'mean' ... possibly saying here that I have no other choice but that to say those things ... but I've also come to develop an eye for it - as to watch out into the opposite direction. And I see there are problems ... even if I can't label them ... but where the emotions, the feel/impressions take me is clearly that "there is a bonfire over there". It leads me to see an irony within the way of things. "Over there is peace" - no incineration of hate ... that stuff. But yea - sure - there is vile there. Anyway.
What I want to say is that I here have come to a realization - and that is that this is simply not my cup of tea. So in regards of "change or emergence"? When speaking of changes, I'm not speaking 'my text'.

Well, anyhow - the whole idea of axiom-1 in this sense is that based on God we individually emerge. Period 1. Full stop. Thing. What followed were a social response - and while there may be voices against it, there may also be voices for that. With those that spoke against come voices that confirm that position, ... and if you've ever dabbled in programming on algorithms that cause change while being also minded of time - ... uhm, I think this ... I had this on mind before and would make its own topic. The idea that ... it all started with a sentence in some weird daydream/hallucination ... "A machine setup to kill" ... while at that time ... well, it doesn't matter. The best explenation for what I saw or understood there came later, just recently. If you write a program and simply do that: 'while(true) {}' - what you get is a program you "can't" exit anymore. I mean, if you run it in a terminal you can simply hit the 'x' button on the frame, ... OK. But if that program were executed on OS level - "as OS" - you could only turn the computer off at that point. Or reboot. Or if you so wrote a program that entered fullscreen, ... lets say you write a game engine ... the only thing you can do is 'brute force' it to end. I mean, thats the point - why else would someone write such a program? And the OS were stupid if that were all it took to break it.
Or "break". I mean, at some point there wasn't much of a choice there. There was no multitasking. ... err ... whatever. The point is that the program yet will have to run inside of some 'loop' - thats what programs ... do. So you'll have to take care of an exit. Thereby ignore all that the OS can do - and think about the 'File->Close' function. Thats - ignoring OS functions - the only way you had closing firefox or so. Thats because the computer does what it does. And so one thing the inexperienced programmer learns pretty soon is that the human mind is not so perfect. Indirectly however. He/she realizes that the computer sometimes does strange things - not what you expected. And so there is this "cascading effect" - where ... never mind. The thing is - we can get to a 'sudden' outcome, where 'snap' - in response to one single ray of light the whole grid is polarized; And we can in general assume 3 groups.

Now what mattered are changes - but - here we have questions that aren't so different from before. So we wait for it - Light comes in - and now ... either group can be reviewed as the same. We have an existing group, but there is no reason to say that the other two groups wouldn't get any Light at some point. So each becomes its own 'major town' - while within ... for context lets stick to the first ... "each group" - we get to two things: The individuals express themselves in context to each other based on the fundamental premises. And the individuals grow in correspondence to the Light. The second thing is important - but really also the dominant vibe of this picture. So it should be noted that this is the guiding theme here. "What the Light does". But so - well, we've now closed the gap to the initial writing. Phew ... just a 1000 liner!

So what there was called culture is here now somehow emergent. What we can find is that if we remove the light from this stage of the picture, what we can anticipate isn't all good. And that should apply onto all stages ... until we get to some stage where the given culture is so sophisticated so there is some stability; Though - it is then clear to see that with an absence of light comes error. Like - look at this world. We don't have an absence of Light per se - but 'the shadow lingers in the nooks and crannies' - everything is bound to fade away, the Universe will dissipate ... some say ... totally unspectacularly vanishing into dust ... "ashes" ... so, to say: This physical world is sophisticated - 'solid' - everything resonates with the Light - there is color - but deep inside its bound to fall apart. Or ... actually ... its in the far out.
We can translate this onto our "demo society" - in the sense that ... the death of the sun for instance would thereby mean something along the lines of ... well, ... critical mass. So in general: Some inbalance ... uhm ... Butterfly Effect. We can thereby learn from what we see today. The nations we know come from a past. We also live in a society that has somehow learned to react to social inequalities. "Bad stuff". But still there are forces that ... "resist" ... or whatever. But now, with the Light - lets turn that color off and get back to black and white - ... well, how is that there?

The first thing we should note is that every progress depends on the Light. Well, duh. We've made ourselves dependent on it by looking at it so. So, thing: What does the Light intend by giving itself to us? Its important to realize how it is with those shackles. Or, is it - just not in the same way I look at it? Well, first of all I see this problem: The Light comes to some individual, but the individual doesn't react to it as the Light intended. OK - summed up: A person didn't look for the Light and so when it came the person got scared and ran off!?

Sounds silly? Well - its one of those things I find easy to miss because ... I'm probably wired that way, ... thats one of those easy things that are generally there as 'self understood'. In order to synergize with the Light, you got to get familiar with it. But you will also need the Light to want to synergize with you; Otherwise you'd be more like a parasite. So we get to Baptism and then Unification - ... as two grand gates towards that realm where that is possible. There is a ritual to it - and knowing that it is there and that it has to be done is part of the process of rationalizing the living reality of the divine. So here you also are challenged to get yourself in tune with that - as to take that step - where then you are there on your own merits, as some new person due to your inner changes - and thereby already with some familiarity with God. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking anything else. Here, knowing God is synonymous to a point along a line - and the closer one gets to the end, the closer one is to God. This line would move on into infinity, but there are those two points in the near, Baptism and Unification, that are as imposed by God insurmountable ordinarily. So, if you speculate on being that special - well. First of all, special case I know of was special because the Gospel wasn't around there and then. However. More importantly: The closer you are to God 'not knowing' of those two - the more you will 'yearn' for them anyhow. But woe - confusion aside: Lets just say its a solid way and the only way to get to the second gate is by knowing God. Or learning of God is equal to moving towards it. But learning - ... in this regard there is only one teacher: Christ.

So, what this means is that yes - over time the individual will come to trust God more and more - and so the individual is more and more willing to blindly acc... well. I'm kindof ... blind in that regard. I know God tells me stuff, silently, ... I can hear it but not clearly enough. One thing. Bad? I don't think I can help it. These things don't happen without God noticing it! Anyway - what I mean is that ... well, how is that? If God came to me to tell me to "go down that road and pick up that flower" - literally, in that sense - God would have to be very loud. I'm ... blind or - "moronically stuck" in the here - with my 'spiritual eye' opened for other things ... so I don't get this kind of information and ... have very little experience with "that kind of God". Sometimes God happens to be a bit more willing to let me know something; And thats what finally matters. In these terms - if God really wants me to do something there are ways. If he wanted you to do something - even if you were an unbeliever - there were ways.
But what if God now told me to play with my Dildos? Wh...y - at? Hoo - wh...err-what? Well, that is however not how I know who I am! So - these shackles weren't what made me embrace my clarity. I have to put it this way. Two steps.
So in the earlier sense of one side ... 'me' ... getting it wrong, the intention were that I got scared of what I saw and turned away. So, that were what God proposedly wanted. But why is it that after I synergized with my clarity and reached out for enslavement - the light came back synergizing with me on that?
That is the thing. You don't need to believe me that it is like this with clarity or anything I respond to - you only need to understand that it is a thing. That instead of it being one sided (us getting what we want, God getting what he wants, God telling us, we telling God - whatever) - there are two sided things. So the individual responds to God, and God responds to that - or way around - either way, we get to that 'Illuminated Growth'. Which matters in the context of this picture.
And so - what of all the what ifs and would ofs? What would God do? To ... show me that this enslavement that I want is bad? And I'm specific about it being the enslavement 'I want'. And I didn't need to be here to see that there is some form of enslavement which is certaily bad! So the Light showed me its embrace - and it holds me to a position. There is Light that I like - its Light that I feel comfortable with - and thats the Light I synergize with. I grow forth from that - and now 'beyond' the terms of 'Clarity' "Bridge" and 'Anchor' - we get to the elemental idea of 'structures of Light'.

Or so the expressions that lead to polarization. I mean, taking at first clarity - I'm a whore and with me were those that were with that. On either side. Now there's the term of enslavement - and there now the same would happen. Some within that first group would say 'nay' - others again 'yes'. But proposing an equilibrium based on that initial light, things were all in all a bit more fluid. And so between the initial three groups. While, if we extend this picture upon our concurrent or just any "running" society, we find 'the "most fluid"' within our here and then. I mean, if we assumed that clarity only applied onto our privacy - that were a line we could ignore when it got to daily work.
Does it only apply onto our clarity? Well - the first thing I noted is that there isn't really any on-off handle for that answer. There is an 'off switch' - but when applied in this capacity ... thats when the horrible stuff happens. Clearly, if turning it off for the intention of overwriting it with some other bullcrap - essentially - the question ... we should all have is: "Why?"! I mean, 'do we know what we are doing?' - and if not - then we might not really want to erase it! I might be willing to extend beyond myself out of courtesy - but the more I learn of myself, the more ... I see the impacts of various actions. This is already very shallow. To me. There isn't much depth to that other than that I see that some level of commitment to anything other than 'that' would be in the way of 'these gains' - and that sums up into a horrible feeling. Kindof. So, as for being brainwashed: I think I'm strongly brainwashed. So to the point that I'm entirely willing to throw away what I have to become a functioning member of society. Like, "I am/want to be a good guy". And there is some alignment between that adjustment to reality and myself. That is - in total - how I essentially behave. I try to keep my appointments, am honest when it gets to answering questions, ... although when it gets to actually looking for a job I rather keep sitting here doing this. It is then the point of laying off just 'these' things however that I have been pushed into the corner about once or twice - that is ... I can get extremaly loud.
There is the one side about me doing what I think I must do - the right thing - but on a deeper level also the abandonment of my sexuality. They kindof work the same. Just in the deep there isn't really any space for physical/direct confrontation. So the impact is boldly - on the inside. I "had to" label myself as a male. That were my first complaint. Or that is how I at the bottom see this change. If not - then OK, half as bad. But anyway. There is an intentional 'offing' of some Light yet - and 'for what'? Yes, for what?

It makes me feel ... a lot of things. Mostly bad. An analogy to the "Darksouls in Dimplytown" thing makes sense - the villains - the ... "nightmarish creep" - lets call it 'Paragon X' and make it a series about different ... themes ... but generally settled in a Sci-Fi meets Fantasy setting.
You gain karma by eliminating foes - and perhaps guilt by eliminating good folks - and thereby guilt wouldn't be much of a thing if you couldn't ever earn a lot. This were a setting where an alternate route wouldn't make sense - but otherwise the issue with even just accidentally killing a friendly NPC would cause disparity. So it would end up being a factually useless gimmick that ultimately costs karma points.

Anyway ... the logic is simple. Imagine ... as once you blow out a candle, there is still the candle. And so everything as what led up to the flame. So once the individual is deprived of its own, what remains is still that which leads up to what that were to be in the outside. If you can proove to me that there is no such thing as 'sophistication of habits' like here - you can proove me wrong about this. Yea lol. Whatever good it might be. The thing is though that whatever leads up to a definition of what we are individually - I think we can compare it to a rock, or a building, or whatever - in the sense that if we destroyed it - we would all be equal, except maybe that the debris looked different. And it would only be fair if we all self-destructed? Well, rather than self-destruction - one can think of rebirth (baptism) as getting "washed out by the Light". And with that the concept of 'destruction' is already opposed. So it is next to that only a theory - regarding how destruction mattered. It would make the difference between me growing up with prepositions or without. But so also the difference between me being me - and me being someone else. ??? | We might take it as an 'unspeakable crime' - but, now more in terms of how it matters: In effect there is what we are - and I experience it as in deed ... kindof like rock. It can yet break - or at least tremble. In other words is there however tension - a ... if we attempted to change it we would cause stress. Or maybe this is just an 'after' shot. Maybe you don't even see it now. ...

But what are we? Aren't we memories of God? This would say - there is a part to us that cannot be changed, ever!

The future is however a different thing. But well. In the sense is there so a 'counter reaction' - a negative - an attempted 'return' - ... an 'attempted neutralization of individuality' - ... 'why'?

To me there is this thing ... 'called' 'guiding Light'. We wouldn't need it if all it did were to point into the directions we also would point into otherwise. And whenever I mean 'adjustment' I also mean that there is some destinct 'at this point turn that way' ... thing. So - how else would you know how to set yourself up? Its maybe a little like how I was unable to play X-Com at first. "I knew not such complexity". Or even the concept ... thats maybe the part ... the game tries to follow. So I was at first lost in Dark Souls ... funny thing. I wish I would have had the time. Anyway - we need at first some perspective, ... and I sometimes am just blind. And so, how can you see into the void? Without learning of what is inside of it?
And that summs up Bloodborne?

I saw a good video on that. I hope I don't forget. It extends on these thoughts quite nicely; And leads well into the Bloodborne part.

And I think its nice that these games encourage such deep thoughts.

Hmm ... . Well, I have a fancy one: The idea that the Hunter is actually the beast seems trivially simple at first. Too simple - and soon the world unfolds into a story the Hunter can 'breathe in' - but it all comes to a sober end in the Hunters dream. Does it? Or does it just ... did we ever know we were supposed to die in the end? So there is this boss in the dream that always runs away from you, until you "lure him" (or does he lure you?) into specific rooms where he just lets you kill him. Somehow. The second room even happens to be locked. So, is the fight he puts up in reality your victim defending itself? Taking it so, it all comes to a point in Byrgenwerth where the hunter meets that guy from the earlier cutscene - and so, you either kill him, or you "lend him your ear" - so, basically, the game is over at that point.
Everything else comes down to the point that it is a fun game; And whatever end you pick - in essence you want to keep playing it - eventually - or anyhow are you then just there playing it to 'kill stuff'. Or "what is the point?".

Well, getting there, overcoming all the challenges ... seeing the world.

Any real consequences are those we suffer ourselves. In game we may loose out on Bloodechoes, in reality that cost us time - but in the end - what else is playing a game about other than spending time?
Videogames can cover a lot!

But I also wanted to pick up on the "becomming a God" concept. In Dark Souls we have something more like a self-contained ... Hero Bubble. There are powers that the Hero can gain - and whether he chooses to invade or play co-op, those are two sides of a very player-friendly ecosystem. Except that the Co-op doesn't allow for mutual progress I think.
In Bloodborne there is more of a 'good and evil' vibe to it. Perhaps more specifically by not really having a clear evil - as, the 'beastiality' is always somewhere something that taints the hunter. This is so the theme by which the player is sent into 'that dream'. Not clear from the start - but you can't remove it from the stats either.
Its just there.
So - disparity, just the other way. And so Dark Souls is the 'better' game!

Although it maybe makes less sense! But isn't it finally also just the 'sense' in Bloodborne that makes it ... frightening? Ha! Genious! It is the meaning you imply that ... and maybe it has to be scary one way or another ... that tells you ... those things. Otherwise its just a game! But Dark Souls just "burns those things in the fire" - effectively. As those bone fragments are burned in the bonfire to strengthen the estus flask. Its a nice experience Levelling up and the Multiplayer makes it so that there is some value to that which has been achieved. Its not 'nothing' - something thats just stuck on ones hard-drive and a bunch of memories.

But yea - finally there also are those NPCs that make the 'bones' of reality, in a sense. They exist - and their existence adds some context, as opposed to it all being just a hallucination. How we can see it in theory might thereby be how we could see it in reality - all we do is shifting around a few thoughts to get into a different perspective; Thereby prooving to ourselves ... certain realities. ... err. Think not too hard about it.

I think it makes sense that God encourages artists towards a certain type of - Love - ... as for instance how Gardeners propose you speak with your plants. There is this type of diligence we can find would suit a good God - as some sayings go like, when carving wood one has to follow its nature, or "reveal its soul". Or in more modern artwork there is the vision of the artist - and then the methods to accomplish it. Uhm, this is 'against' a 'financial exploit' - so, as turning the art into mechanism. There are 'artists' who mainly just do that - copying stuff. And they are part of an industry - in the philippines for instance. I mean, I've seen cinema posters being 'painted'. Like, 'no money for actual prints that large', but some dude who would paint that using colors.

This isn't much on the point. Lets just say those are all talking points. They lead wherever, but at the bottom of things we're venturing the void here. As for that - I think we can for here paint us this: A way out of hexagonal tiles moving forward to "some point". Where it leads ... that we don't know. We however know that in reference to dimplytown for instance, we can jump 'in and out' - while at some point we get 'in' initially, and at some other point we get 'out' with more insight. We can settle that as two points on that imaginary way. And for that reason lets say that the vector/the bridge isn't facing into the same direction as the "portal". So we can at this point see an arbitrary road - direction unspecified - with two nodes. To get to node 2, one has to first understand some generic concepts. But in theory we can gap this distance 'right here'. So, this is "map space" - kindof. We can say that at node 1 we get to talk about 'Structures of the Light' - while at ... yea well, node 2 we get to learn more about them.

Well, you make out the detail. In essence we are here so observing the growth by Light, to understand of it enough to get towards node 3. Or to move on with that information, towards node 3, to then get towards ... whatever.
Or so and so.

Or - lets say - the next 'realm' is not only about me anymore, but here we're talking 'social space'.

Now, the thing with the off switch comes into play here as I am faced with a situation that requires it of me. But I notice that I have an equivalence of need for isolation, compared to my publicity. Somehow. I however have this 'thirst' sometimes to just be home alone. Its like 'coming in from the cold' - I need to 'warm up my heart' in a sense - and this basically equates into time during which I 'foster' my internal being. Whatever I do. And sometimes that is just playing games - but most effectively comes in any time I really feel 'sick' from withdrawing myself from porn. Or when I otherwise experience its 'curing' effect on me. So its simply this type of behaviour that sucks on my attention - and that is the root of the problem, isn't it? For me to perform well in any type of "exterior" scenario I would have to keep my mind on it. Else I'd be rubbish. So I have to dedicate 'un amount of time' to that, an amount of 'mind' - so, in other terms: I'm supposed to take a 'plot of land' on my mind and prepare it to be cultivated for that type of work or activity. If my Layout is incompatible, I'm supposed to adapt, making changes. And OK - well enough. Ultimately there is some disparity between ideal and reality anyhow - but against loosing sight I think its nice to rather think of 'cornerstones' - rather than lines and boundaries. Or are cornerstones there to plot some land and that for good reason. If a reason turns out "bullshit" in the given context, well - there is still the land itself; Which from inside out would "want to" operate as with the cornerstone still in tact. We can call that a 'base expectancy'. So even if the cornerstones cannot be satisfied - there is a "gateway" - a "tower" - from where that land got plotted - and so at some point we're talking about changing those.

When it gets to the central one - well, what can I say? The time I 'use up' isn't just hypothetical. This here takes time too. And the Light also demands its time in that regard. From another watchpoint however I'm very forgetful about day to day stuff. I can keep one thing on mind - and a few things in the background - but in general "real life" is just a landroad passing by beside me. I don't have any land for even that. And taking the rest, ... well - think of me as a ... garden. A round space with a center - four ways - and so four quarter circles. Each quartercircle would have an entrance from the center side, and there some artsy patterns of flowers and bushes would emerge into the space. Now, taking that away would be like 'erase everything and plant new stuff there'. Like, if I did that on behalf of someone, lets say ... my boss ... he would go on and tell me to build a factory here, an office building there - and somewhere in the middle I can build myself a hut. Maybe. There I can tend to myself and eat and such - but how were that work now done? The patterns of these plants corresponded to patterns of my mind. And ... what I want to say is something like: You don't expect a screw-driver to do the job of a wrench. I mean, they do the same thing - but factually they don't work at the same capacity. You don't use a wrench to ... loosen a screw. Or ... you don't use a screwdriver to unscrew a nut. Or you don't take the plug of your TV and try to connect it to the powerlines outside!

Eh, ... well. whatever. We may wonder: OK, at some point there is 'the system' - or however - the thing we have and need to function as a society - and 'how much' can we further expect of each other?

So, firstly now - in terms of 'emergence', the emergent society - we will need to see it growing of equally illuminated cells. At first. So to say that a 'seed of Light' is equally present in each of them. Or - well, we can assume it being there, even if still dark, in behalf of the polarization. However - as the individual grows in this scope, we get to functional responses and whatever the heck - more spicifically: Light forged relationships. So, when questioning the Lights motives to illuminate us - we may assume some arbitrary desire, or plan or outcome. In that sense I would evolve only to be shackled - for whatever purpose - stuck in my own mind ... but once that attitude is met by another one with whatever Light - there then are 'sets of behaviours' - all accross - that establish that groups cultural dynamics. So the initial void gains shape as peoples interact - and at certain places we get to 'solids' as some fluidity is being withdrawn.
And so is there 'dimplytown' - inside of me, or in simpler words: My bond to my primary one; Which for once is solid as it fixes us together, but further "in its memory". So - the point is that within that given social context we then get to a higher evolution of these structures of Light, which then gives meaning to an individual stance to begin with.
When now measuring an individual in comparison to others, we all have at first one individual and thereafter a cultural ring. The one is just our mixup with the divine and the second makes up the reality as of the group we are surrounded by. This is potentially again part of a higher thing - and some parts of that group do that work, or whatever. We can draw lines away from that second ring/circular thing, but that is an abstraction saying: Someone, somewhere in that group is somehow doing that type of work/stuff. Whatever that may be. That is: However that culture is sustained.

So can it here already happen that some individuals are basically 'embedded' into a culture - while others end up being more flexible by being dedicated to more universal tasks. The thing is that I as whore don't have much of a task - or 'skill' or anything like that - but its an existence that shapes me nonetheless. And in some way of saying it - its possibly fair to say that I'm an especially lazy one. Maybe.

I do my own stuff - I have a lot of time to think, ... and whatever ... all I can say at this point is that this is how I am as my priorities align. But now, the real 'way' is that there is node 3, close to the end of the way, just prior to this portal of Light - and the question is: What is your stop?

If you now are getting stuck on your way there - the question would be about the content of some of these scenarios. Like, ... we've had it at some points. Oh, this one ain't even concluded yet. So the issue with what the Light 'wants' by doing certain things - it would be one thing if it were just a tiny impulse and a single reaction based on that. Here we can see two general things happening: The person moves away from or towards it. To showcase what the Light does, we are interested in what emerges from a positive alignment by the individual. In that regard I can only say that consecutive support from the Light, on a matter, ... thats what I get and what makes me believe in what I am.
But however is there also a 'counter image' - or otherwise: There's a good way and a bad way. The bad way is in that as constructed as the good one - and is some 'would/should/could' in reference to the images I draw. If this then that.
You can at some point only hope that everyone knows what they are doing - ... thats a thing too. So in the sense: If you don't like something, you don't have to participate. But finally its up to God ... the Light, to give everyone a way of connecting. So, if we know who's with the Light ... we can take the Lights "word for it".

As to the point that within these hypothetical images where we only look at the light we assume we can see it. This has to be seen so, that while you can't really see it, you can't really see it! There are some assumptions you can make - but you have to be really careful with these. This is why they also end up being relatively simple, compared to the 'wealth of possibilities' you can add up to them; Including those of destruction.

So - what I am exactly is irrelevant, basically. What matters are the underlying purposes, thoughts and mechanics. As so, by the way: There is a hypothetical Antichrist in this 'holy vs unholy' scenario - and that Antichrist would be far greater than the "real" one.
And what does he/would he do?
For as long as he tends well to those beneath him - and is generally good for everyone, regarding both - inside and outside connections - there isn't an objective fault or wrong ... or bad/evil. Diplomacy would happen here. If now the leaders of two groups can verify to each other that they are with the Light and the Light with them - then ideological differences will first be scoped out by those - on that Level. What are their individual rights and wrongs? What of the things that are happening is considered justice; And what is considered injustice? What is random? Maybe there is space for improval! So, what are the ways in which we can help each other out?

And you would else come to connect to a leader, or to someone in the hierarchy. The leader endorses X, endorses Y, endorses Z - and if Z doesn't endorse Y but is prooven with the Light to you - then you know that Y, X and A are talking shit.

Or other ways. Whatever.

I mean - at some point its really just the 'crowds' that matter - or the 'mass' - lets say it that way. The best sign for any illuminated culture were some living interaction - I mean, ... the part what life is all about. And where people live together with the Light, thats where the truths are in practice.

And so, for me - being Redheaded is somehow in my DNA - in other terms however we can ask: Just how redheaded am I? In the front I'm blonde, in my background black-haired - generally brunette, and while in the 'center' red, we could yet call it "just a dash". We could say that 'modest blonde' is actually 'black in blonde' - or 'slut/diva in black' is 'blonde in black' - something along those lines. Other ways I think I'm mostly blonde - 2/4 or 5/8 - but in general so with tendency towards a darker tone. What makes me a redhead is thereby less relevant than that 'which is' redheaded. At this instance I'm generally free, an 'independent woman' to some capacity, ... but at whatever heights of that still enthralled to someone; And this situation basically draws the Character.

But that is then also what it is. A Character - and that whilst so bound to certain conditions. This doesn't change what other 'personal nodes' of mine are - and is equally a part of the whole as those. Are dimplies free? Well - in a sense. They have what they need to be happy. They don't really want more - but being exposed to new stuff is also kindf part of their expressive self. This is a final reason to introduce 'the doll (fairies)' to the picture. Those would populate dimplytown as from the nether parts - be the social side of it - and be besties with them, somehow. The dolls would look at the Dimplies as at ants - but - being kindof ... there to give them stuff to do; While ... being somehow the dealers. They also basically just dimple around ... but they are more like gardeners looking after the dimplies.

And somewhere between the two - there in the depths of dimplytown - there is one issue ... left to be disc...overed. The thing is that I got the image, but it kindof caught me off guard. I didn't know how to connect it. So, thereby however there is the 'room' that expressed the collar - and there the dimplies were my male self. There is also the issue: Dimplies are male. So, the first spook/crook. This I felt leads to some conflict - and ... the story is that: The further down we go - the more there is this 'strong' demand for respect, lets put it that way. So, a male presence contradicting the imposed female paradigm. On the other side there is this "mystery" of the dolls, and in their demand for self-depravation they contradict to the dimplies. In a sense is there this fire which "burns away" dimplies and gives rise to the dolls. So as once they got to the surface, we got to "'the same'" as what the initial crook was about - if we so said that dimplies are those dolls, ... after some "math". So, in the whole - however - the outcome for me were the same, ... but thats not how it works. So - here the image is flawed. Instead - cleansing dimplytown were equal to retreiving some magical artifact that in doll-place would work to some capacity.

Like, something that makes Light. Whatever. Lets leave that aside. So - as for me, there are first of all these shackles and we can certainly see how that connects to someone else. This means that the dimplettes or dolls have a place to go - so, the realm isn't isolated to itself. But now attached to them is me - and now there is the thing: Before they were a thing I desired them - now that they are a thing, what of that desire? I mean - we ... so I think ... will always have some of that. So, thinking that we will ever be really 'pacified' - as in 'satisfied' - is genuinely wrong. The thing is now however too that rather than 'wanting to be shackled', I wanted things that in turn made those shackles welcome. So, I'd be then wanting the same things, just in a different condition. For prostitution this means that there is a situation which effectively 'forces' me into it - which is what I 'would have' wanted as it'd make things easier for me and stuff - but through the absolution there is 'yet' a newer ground for looking around - but so also the difference that with the absolution there isn't so much space left.

Technically however I would/could still be free enough to have something like a life. So after Runesymbol 1 a few things are settled, that is the private stuff or 'privatly issues' - lets say - but not really done in a sense that respects anything else. That 'else' came in anyhow. Or ... well. Even within Runesymbol 1 already. Whatever the detail - in more common terms I think we can grasp how spiritual things like that finally "assemble" 'matters of mind' to a point that anything we are, individually, significantly, is somehow present by some means. Here when overlaying dimplies and dolls we get a conflict - but if we arrange it so that each yet had their own space things work out again. Thats my perception - yet so what matters is the logic, or the reason why. And that is in a sense that any work done needs a labour force behind it. So whatever we want to do has some grounds within us. Or: In order to be free - I need some way to deal with that. Like, some motivation behind it. Or some 'routine' to execute or whatever. Like, if you want anything in a program to move or change, you need to have some code for it. And even if you said: 'camera_direction_change(&mouse_input)' - on the "atomic level" its still "x+=x_change" or "x=x_value" or "x=x_calculation(x_input);". Anyway does that which we can tell about ourselves come down to such volumes.

What this means to me is that in first place I'm stuck to my captivity. No matter what freedom at any point along the line would matter - or how yet free as a slave I could be - that doesn't matter if I can't be that in first place. Then my existence is "hung up" - mostly aspiring to be something that isn't ... practically good.
(And if the redhead in me is one thing not, then that is male!).
On the flipside - there are aspects of my life that are good as they are. Like, things aren't actually unneccessarily complicated. But for the most part that is because I maintain my own balance. ... and all of a sudden time is relevant. So - OK, ... I guess I could go on and on - I certainly feel like that - but when in my head the curtains fall, ... thats the end of that!