Orchestration of my own Fortune

So - yea, wow, "Thank God". This is where I can finally - settle out whats - important. The thing is, well, the more I get to grips with myself, the more I want this death torture thing to be a thing; And the more that is the case, the more I'm urged towards finding a practical solution.

So - what I'm proposing here is thereby however setup as something of a diplomatic proposal. That means - once shit is public and we are given leeway to freely explore our natures - my first thing will be to assemble a childs harem. So, be that special victims cases or what have you; If I can feel them as one of my own or such - I will "sign them in" - and then we may take public profiles of each of them so you can publically follow their individual progress. Same goes for our "Pedo Mums". Every woman that wants to be a whore or such has to first come to me - and I'll sign them in or out. And we can then follow them, their pregnancy; And there how things are. As, once diagnosed pregnant we will ask for stuff. Like - in some cases we first tried to get someone specific 'into' a person; So we want to verify if that person is in there. Plus some science later down the road for how that turns out in the practical field. But then also whehter that child is to be signed in or out. Its like, drawing a pentagram onto a to-be-mothers womb or not.

Once this proceeds - the thing is/shouldbe already settled that I'm gonna die in the end; To ... whatever perversions have been granted.
In a sense I would here then try to establish a meaningful way of dealing with these types of sex-slaves; As then for myself to become one of them.

And certain cultural thingies round about.


So, whether or not it be "Dark-webbed" were a matter of, well, how we wanted it. It would make sense to embrace it that way; yet to also say: The problem of 'whatever isn't done by us' is solved by saying: OK, if it 'isn't us' ... its a problem!

The point is that we then needed a platform to broadcast our findings alongside with corresponding material; Like - how does what look like, and whats the individuals well being there.

What I can say is more certain than not however is that 'rebellious behaviour' isn't automatically to be tolerated. I can see for instance how my attachment to programming leads to some inner entitlement that doesn't work with my persona. I need to lett hat go willingly, to become that tame and subserviant individual - which then bears the weight of its submission in that. And then I might come to have some fun; But that then yet primarily aligned to be in favour of my lifetime.

So - further: Same goes for pedophiles. I would call that a 'sniffing test'. Which - finally were however responsibility of the mistresses; Which ... you guessed it ... also have to first get past me.

So - if I had the power I'd see forward to impregnating a few women ... just so in case; While otherwise ... I'd rather just be victimized to what ... people make of what I'm writing here and then - or so.

Step one, from my end, is intimate familiarization. So, once a child is embraced as sex slave; Intimate "interfaces" need to be established. So - whores and whores together, basically - that support one another in their whoredom. So do the elder ones prepare the younger ones; And this ... should basically be the spine of saying - whats really going on. So, as we have elders with education - comparable to me maybe - that support their own past; Its a pretty solid and safe to go thing. Well, until we get to argue about things that go beyond their experience.

The issue will be twofold. The social interest in an individual, and its response to that. If we find an 'insatiable kid' ... it might be interesting to see how a withdrawal of things turns out; Or otherwise how much else we can squeeze in to ... have some basis of understanding about whats happening.

So the pedophiles will play a major role in that they have to say what they want or expect; As all the whores have to finally adjust to that anyhow. Aside of a few things - possibly - to be imposed from another stand.

So ... codes of conduct.

The way this could be sped up is if there already were individuals such as ... although we still had to wait for like 20 years plus to really get towards reasonable trust levels.

Oh dear - I'd be above 50 by then.

So, based on how things evolve - between whores - children get introduced to sex and grown to become whores; While we would yet keep some exit in place. An in-and-out; Lets say.


Now, from my perspective the 'getting rape' thing evolved more so to the point that at the basis, where my 'in rape' consciousness fortifies - 'sadness' is basically left as the 'right itch'. So, me looking at how I had to give up what just to be in that situation evokes that sadness; And this is a 'stasis' that comes along with my default experience. It is in this 'willingly submissive' state that defies certain aspects of myself that I am as wanted. And as I feel this awareness getting hammered into my mind I'm getting more and more gratuitious about it. And I think the same were to happen in a 'real life' abduction scenario. My mind would as by those seals ultimately catch up on those things; No matter from where I came. And the general "gist of my school" is to say 'a) that' - while b) 'focussing on the quality of expectations'.

The point is, I envision a pretty dark future for myself - based on the consciousness that I may perceive a particular kind/type of depression as a rich and bountiful paradise.

And so it is my itch to clearly establish the boundaries wherein this 'lifestyle' exists.

There is a 'theoretical' side; Which is - as setup from the outside - and a practical end. Through this we could then finetune the theory.

And the first question to me is: How much suffering can an individual who wants to suffer suffer?


And what type of suffering - so, what the deal is.



Eventually that will imply cutting stuff off or open ... just to see how the individual reacts to that - as to see whether the individual would subscribe to more.

So, herefore I will first of all need three plus one organizations to be staffed before anything can happen.


1) - 'the Queens Garden'. This is dedicated to the 'Queen of Darkness' and hosts a brothel for children. It is where my existence is rooted at - and the whores there are exactly the type of whore I am. The gist were "Cumdump by the Age of 6". So - this the first 'hypothetical imposition' - and would embrace anything round about any type of abuse from birth up to that age; As 'I say' - any individual who comes in question for being that type of a slave needs to be able to expecting more. 6 is just to say - thats the hardline, setting a ... practical example; As also for one to personally reflect upon. I for instance see that ... 'yay' ... it sounds fantastic ... while as worse case scenario we had a low conscious lifetime established on sexual suffering. So, for that to be a thing we first had to establish what this enjoyment is about; And then we can say OK - if its any good ... why not?

2) - 'Baphomets Keep'. Baphomet is now changed. Now some of his female traits are gone - manifestatively shifted into this firstborn daughter and highest priestess (and cumdump, breeding stock and such): me. This place hosts 'Baphomets Academy' and is dedicated towards all sorts of sexual misery - at the core.

3) - 'Satans Dungeons'. Here Satanism Rules - where firstly Mistresses run the show as 'social nodes' to one of these dungeons; Being a Prime Mother to the whores hosted there and may access point for any sort of ... stuff going on. In these dungeons finally are things going on that have some grade of sophistication to it. So, children of the Queens Garden however have a strong connection into Baphomets Keep and Satans Dungeons - while Satans Dungeons were the ... place were the pinackle of all the madness happens. So, child abuse and what not.

4) - 'Satans Church'. So - a body to primarily represent the satanic interests.



So - once we have leaders to each of those units; And staff or fellony to resemble that; We then get to a point where there are enough of so and so to make things happen. We can start in satanic churches where the easy stuff can happen. Orgies and what not between consenting grown ups. At this point we had not a lot of reason for some kind of worship; Though, worshiping me or the new Baphomet were about bringing sexual deprivation, child abuse and rape unto us - or something. Whatever the three cocks stand for ... possibly.

And me in particular - I'm worshipped for the suffering; For the existence of all the misery; ... as cheering in on its existend; Maybe even just for the sake of how perverted it is. The idea is pretty much that every satanist is to inherantly support the shit we satanists do.

So, from there we have a naturalistic development into dungeons; Saying - prostitutive interest accumulates there; And certain interests mix and with sufficient support we may end up keeping slaves that way. There is an "amateur" side - but internally it would all exist as somehow connected to baphomets acadamy. So - as a nexus of information ... and whatever.

With this we'll inevitably get to orgies whereby the whores are getting abused; Or some ways of managing the whole. Here also - as far as all involved individuals desire.

The idea is pretty much to kindof also suggest a "Hobby Level" of prostitution.

So, we then start in Baphomets Keep where we have a flock - and once the 'spark ignites', so we have enough of X present to do Y, the first obstacle to me were to draw that line between 'hardcore' and 'not so much'. So - as; Well ... at first we have to establish some idea of whats going on.


So - first we have pedophiles; And these can get separated into three to 4 core audiences. Relative to Church we have 'Family and Friends'. Relative to Dungeons we have public events. Relative to the Akademy we have more involved customers; And relative to the Garden we have specific tastes. So, we for once need the customers to 'be' the traffic to meet certain ends - and the first relevant circle of customers are those around the Akademy.

The Akademy stands for: Everything we do is a thing with knowledge attached to it. So, Hobby Prostitution were a thing now - where, of course it would happen in the Akademy if anywhere else. Or, we'd want it to be so at least. In this sense we can establish the most basic standards of what it means to be a whore and what else.

So - as it gets to pedophilia; We also want to look at the selected Pedophiles. How they explain their pedophilia and what their interests are. And just so you know: This is an 'enlightened' area - and that is to somehow say: No Taboo. We need to know what serves ones interest in being there to understand more of it. So, it doesn't have to make sense right away. And so there will be extremely sadistic ideals, maybe, most likely - mayhap (I'd be welcoming these) - and the different types of people will lead to different things to explore.

Similar stuff happens to me. I'm at some point a Tranny/Boy-Slave; As - I was born as a boy and ... effectively got born to become enslaved and feminized. So - I'll also invite customers interested in meself of course.

And then it were up to me and familiars of different kind to live up to those expectations.

So - as for more about me; One key aspect were: The individual needs to come as "half raped" already. My go to term has become 'baked'. So - the 'extensive rape' compared to heat ... so, 'baked'. The point being that some climax of suffering has to be established within the individual - as with me (gratuitiously) - which is setting forth that there has to be some Rune/Seal shenaniganry going on sustaining that identity. So, there is something to get the individual 'into'. And so in terms of me this would come down to thinking about 'what' can be done to accomplish that. So, there have to be set windows of prostitution focusing on specific things - as also establishing certain degrees of exposure or submission.

So - most of this comes down to what people now ... get to ... decide. So, "customer is King ... but ..." - yea, that but though.


So, when it gets to Sex Slaves I think its necessary to come up with multiple types of ownership. First of all, there were the "Patron". That were an individual to take care of a Sex-Slave; Who so would come with social ties that meet the Slaves needs - while this Patron has private capacities to some degree - but the main focus is on the churches end nonetheless. There we have 'official responsibles' - and thats where things get 'cold' and 'mechanical'. Then a slave as 'Intimate Acquaintances'. Hereby: Finding a patron for me should be easy. I think. Here it doesn't matter what my private conflicts make of me - but what I am on the surface. #RapeSlave. And that I'm a male to female one. So, without any "Intimate Buts". So, if I'm "blocked" off from my Patron - then I'm reserved for intimacy. Next to that we also have "Lesser Patrons". That would be customer-ish Patronage.

So, Patronage implies that the individuals specific needs are being met. That is the main focus. If the Slave feels anyhow uncomfortable in any situation - thats bad. This discomfort comes in as a sore open wound in the heart. It means as much as ... something vital is missing. So, in my case ... 'lesser patrons' would cause a feeling of missing intimacy for me - saying, thats a kind of sick that would put me on the bench.

This could be spotted as a real 'reluctance' that is 're-enforced' by a 'seriously taking' spirit. So, when the force sustains that they are stuck on being "OK" about this reluctance - its ... a health issue. The Slave will simply not correspond well. That came after some terms of compliance have been established also.

Patronage at this stage also comes with ressources to help start this all. So, to properly engage with slavery we need prisons - or cells. Something to stage events at. So, one of the earlier things I'll need is captivity - arguing that; Well - if I'm supposed to still continue productively, as writing things like here - the 'prison' has to be established to have some capacity to satisfy that demand.
What I mean by captivity is that my schedule is being controlled. There are set times where I'm somewhere; And how I am there. Something going for me were a Netbook, or something, alongside some Screen - as a setup of a cell. So that when I have my Netbook with me I can do stuff while "rotting" there. And Dungeons that are existentially just larger Toilets ... thats ... one place I dream about.

I should also have an alternate Laptop managed by my owners - which is setup as ... deprivation toy. And sometimes time with both because of unity and harmony. As ... as space where all the roleplaying is totally sidestepped. Not to say that I'm no longer captive - but that ... I mean, if I'm spending time with friends in a room where it doesn't matter whether or not the door is open or locked ... it doesn't matter whether its open or locked. If it were locked - which it should be - it would only emphasize the reality there.

And so I think we should right away prepare to understand what "Whores Hobby Space" is. That is where us whores do our thing outside of being whores. Part of which is, highly plausible, being whores nonetheless. So - as mentioned - we at some point had our own ways of comforting each other - being all equally sluts and such.

So, that is however where I would start - and - it were open at the beginning; And the "game" at some point were to lock it up.

But so. My deprivation will at some point depend on there being Sadistic people who have been selected to be there. Those would be people that have a kink at seeing me suffer; And at some point there will mechanically be time and space given to them to make a first step of whatever goes through their mind. I'm thinking of yea - potential mutilation - as one way to then say, OK, whats more important: My fingers or being a rape slave?

At some point this question should be answered the same way, always, in regards to anything in existence. And so there is lots of ways to explore. This means - with this in mind; This doesn't need to be some lame experiment - especially since individual passion is the driving motor. So it is rather part of ... an everspinning wheel. Our 'cultural pulse' or something like that.


So - anyhow. What I have in mind for particular children is that any kid who is part of the "Young Cumdump" club, well, will basically end up being a porn star prostitute. She will become a toy to everyone - as we devise sadistic scenes for the child to go through; Alongside planning the individuals future.
And because I'm supposedly one of them - I fall right into that ... unless ... some property issues channel me to ... someone else.
So, there is
5) "Joy Toy Entertainment". Practically somewhere between Akademy and Dungeons there is this ... and this is simply a ... public vein of the whole. My vision for instance is to be an aged slave - lets say, 24, who spent all its time as a child slave of that kind. Maybe its unreal. I mean - suicide ... or death ... weigh in, but different.

I can take it from my life that maybe my youth was good for me to blow off some steam ... and as its blown out I return to my normal self.

Anyhow. What happens is that we may end up with crazy scenarios - and these we are kindof 'supposed' to fulfill.

So, back to the Hobby Room. So - here I'll end up socializing with those that vibe the best with me. So, supposedly whores - as so there is an equilibrium of ... sorts (this is where a male:female relationship would exist beyond anything that matters, simply on individual synergy - but ... nothing is solid either) - and certain ... others. There would be some 'closer' and 'further' - as I can see; Well. My #1 doesn't have much space there. Her thing with me doesn't 'need' me to be free ... so. She would come in and check up on me or whatever. We might though spend time together "there" (alias: Normally) or 'elsewhere' (alias: Public Ruleset).

This is ... reasonable. So, on the logic that legality is relative to the culture; We on the outside have the existence of slaves. So, there is a public space where I 'must be' that. But deep inside there is now a space where that is no longer the case ... so, that is where intimate rules apply. They however are streamlined towards meeting the public conditions. Insurmountably I would suggest.

(Church then links up with "Churches" into 'Ekklesia' and 'Central Church').

(And Ekklesiastic certificates should come as squares with a star stamp on them; Or papers with a seal at the bottom. Saying - icons; For things; And shelves for volumes. In the center a Codex of History.).


So we can say that from the outside too ... there is a time of freedom; And a time of freedom no more; For me. This is really what it comes down to then. So - as I surround myself with people that 'function' independently - there is technically 'yet' no saying in what this will be. But due to unification we can assume that its something meaningful. That is the meaning of the 'if' in the: 'if' this turns out as captivity for me - then that were the case. If it shouldn't be the case; It won't be the case.

Well. On a wider scope however ... I 'feel' my role as Baphomets Daughter through a 'male' presence in his/her keep. So, I'm one of her three daughters - in the sense of "one per cock" - and thats what makes me ... still male. Or what the rational 'thing' with "me giving my manliness to her" is about.
So - for once its the shift towards the more manly Baphomet, now "her" - plus me being more female - where my place is that of being a daughter but I'm directly in charge of the child-abuse department. So, I'm basically there at the 'base' of where this stuff happens; So, next to a Dungeon/Studio for ... specifically child porn.

And that would be something like the hobby room - though, there's an outside. Here I'm supposed to be an authority on the campus - while I'm still shamelessly exposed in that I'm ... a whore still and stuff.

So - I think thats the gain from this acquaintance. I get to be this ... Trophy ... of the Akademy.

So, the Dungeon is more specific in that we have special requirements for it - so, they have to be built yet; And we/I clearly want to keep their layout publically transparent. After all, its deepest depth are one of the ... things why people go there.

Here we have - in the idea - something of a high security complex. In many ways you could think of it as what a criminal might want; Or such - just that we don't want any reason to hide. And that why: The first code of conduct for Satanists is 'perfect compliance to issues of transparency'. This means - every satanists inherantly subscribes to complete exposure of its ... private ... thingies.

And I can see certain girls groupieing for certain child-molesters; While not really being that much into that stuff themselves; Yet are satanists and therefore dragged in as bystanders; Yea - cheering for other peoples demise.

So - what goes on in those dungeons is at the limits of what we then deem 'socially acceptable' - but cutting people apart, eating them, having a bbq - that would ... fit in there somewhere.

Its a happy 'family' where Kids grow up with Childbooks that teach them that they are Thanksgiving Turkey or such.
Really! And thats ... not only good for the kids - it also adds 'flavour' to the pornography.


Within Porn we can explore how certain things work. So, a child being a raw example - where we have to see how it responds to certain things; Or which Lusts are evoked within us. If we want to see a child as ... limbs off decoration ... we should at some point get that. We might see such things as ... short time conditions ... as ... leading on towards their death.

Though ... by baking I mean - head cut off afterwards, ... as ... to see the slice of the 'fresh meat'.

So, that settles it. I accumulate those sadists that are finally given free reign upon me. Thats ... a settled thing. And that somehow concludes around the Hobby Space. So, given that it existed already - I would/should still require some time and space to get adjusted - get things settled; As so for the public to follow ... where I then get to settle certain things; Saying: This is now so, he/she is my owner - done; Which may come just as quick though. It depends ... and I don't clearly can tell.

But well ... For sake of clarity there should be some ... window, reference ... something. The point though is that once someone claims authority ... and gets certified - there isn't much I can do. legally. Logically.

But so it helpeth not. Anyhow - it might be so that we get no certificates of that kind until things X and Y have been settled. Thats the premise here, so the - "as far as I am concerned" side of things. ... hmm. OK!


Anyhow - there's ... also a synergy side to it. Saying - I ... resonate with my customer base in that ... so, I'm as a cultural vein ... as, I 'provide' what others need; In that sense. Well yea, that ... adds up to my sweet and motherly side.

On another note: Baphomets Akademy is at first synonymous to 'circle of confessing perverts' - and is basically to invite an open discussion and shameless smartassing about all sorts of topics concerning perversion.

So there will be a 'space of discussion' concerning me ... and all shameless smartassing about me would contribute towards my experience. "Records" of how I perform in private conditions serve as 'starting context'. So, the issue of one cumladies 6th Birthday is like a 'graduation'. Her life led up to that, in that she then gets presented to the Public. Once at her 6th Birthday suffering - and then with that publication her history.


And here - we roll the dices.

And - on my behalf there is a strong interest on the ... well, "bottom of things". But - lets ... build it first.


Within the Dungeon we get to come up with ... a paradise for sexual exploitation. We can take concepts that work and set them into given technical setup; So - for instance - as then to 'lock women up' for exploit; And that ... to work towards certain needs. So - this then is a brothel for people that then enjoy their time as sadists within given setups. Here there is a philosophical issue regarding eternity. Some of the things here are setup as 'limitless' - like - on 'final despair' and what not ... really dramatic and edgy ... at the bottom of things - but it does inherantly exist as a thing that doesn't host anybody forever. Except maybe its ... main keepers.

But eventually these dungeons only leads its prisoners to one end: Death.

Or - controlled sexual exploit. So, its a lifetime thing; Where now any other bond to be cherished were subject to the given situation. And that is one other way things could go for me. Or so, if nothing is between me and my patronage - and yet I were found in that situation - that situation would go first.

So, my role in the akademy is twofold. For once I'm a male slut in that I specialize on child rape; While in my female part functioning as a bredding slave. Or slut. Whatever. I'm hereby slave of the akademy; Where I beyond my duties have to function as ... as a servant.

On this note - it could happen so that based on me getting submitted into a condition right away; It were your next logical step to get an 'initial screening'. Say, how far do I masturbate myself, how do I react to a deep throath, how long or far can I take this and that; And - stuff like that. So ... part of that lets me find my style ... where I would select from things you would allow me to choose from, kindof - where, I will have to answer to questions ... if I can.
Someone however is to manage this; So, taking care of me and others - or so - as responding to the social desire. So, where things come to a re/inflexion point.

And so - for intimacies sake - this is a type of 'seal' ... patronage ... "of sorts?" ... well, where the person responsible has to be ... probably first be allowed to then see if a seal can be established, ... as whatever person is now allowed to say what happens and what not ... thats a huge deal!

So, it ... well, what does it mean to be a Sex Slave?


We are ... upstriving individuals that enjoy having a specific form to adapt to. We love being passive and see any kind of externally influenced growth as a good thing.
Our inner motivations however need to be 'cooked' within given conditions - as a matter of making us conceive our own priorities as to establish a spine of enjoyment and personality. (a.k.a.: "The Slut in me").

My future I believe leads me to the place where my way is riddled with sacrifices that exist against me and my male privilege and joy. I will need to loose my sight, finally, but also my fingers/hands. I would fancy an artificial uterus even if it were rubber I barely felt, and maybe a disjointed and retooled jaw for a larger intake. And generally be always there when it gets to experimentation on sexually enhacing human beings.

I don't mind suffering brain damage at all.

I will need to consolidate my willingness to be a whore by making choices against my inner male - or freedom. I need to stand by as things are stripped off of me, while at the base each of those decisions has to be conducted by 'ends meeting conditions'. Before I let go of X, I will need Y to be a thing. Its like - 'insert cock' and play around a little until you get to the next level.

Dark Souls maybe.

Here we need it to be established at some point that we 'need' a label for 'death for science'. And I think I got one on me.

This means I will need first ... get to have been raped ... to an amount that sets a precident for what I'm supposed to expect from whatever sacrifice I'm supposed to make. That also ends up being "Toilet Slavery 1x1".

So, after I got screened - there is that wall. The demand from the established base I'm forcefully connected to. The goal is to get me into Satans Dungeon ... and ... see me end there somehow.

So - from another standpoint this is however an intimate process. So, starting off at Hobby Room - I need to first accept someone as in charge of me. And so I will need to synergize with that person on an intimate level, streamlined along the lines of what the general meaning there is. This is so the 'initial' or 'prime' bias added into the system. So, once that clicks with everybody - its a thing.

In this sense will I be there in that Hobby Room, though eventually - at some point - sacrifices will start to matter. The first sacrifice were the locked doors. Or - we would have built something, wherein I would then be stuck; That is ... first we need to make it work. Or something. Thats like a patchwork thing. Akademy.

One open tab on me is the depravity issue. So - from your perspective all you need is someone who gets certified as my patron - and I need to be OK with that. That only works if there is an OK to that from the inside though. So, thats the ... "primary/arc" line. But the point here is that it has only supplemental influence ... as much as being an alternative.

This means - there is a Level of saying where you come in. So, if you want shit to be public, it first has to be OK inside. So - otherwise what is and what isn't to get public is an internal issue.


For the sake of Toilet Slavery, ... we want to settle a principality there. The idea is that there has to be a result showing the individuals progression into synchronicity with an "absurdance". Most prominently: 'dehumanization'. But in the latter sense: "Rape Slavery".

This were one of the first things to get going on me - as anything prior to anything involving blood. So, as - to find limits to it, firstly. One 'interest target' may be to get me to enjoy eating shit. For that however - the basics of what Toilet Slavery entails have to be established.

Here now I invite everyone who is intimately interested in my depravity to come together; As part of the Akademy, to conceptualize a set of rules and mechanics, places ... that need to work together to make it a thing.

On one side we have the 'sadistic experts' - who will be in charge of setting up the dices for what I need to expect. Lets call it a rotation of things. Then we have 'dirty pigs' who like to fantasize of depriving setups. This space exists between my 'cell in the kellar' and 'my cell in the dungeon'.

So - first, there is simply the 'inching forward' to making the 'dirty stuff' a thing. On one end 'conditioning me' to it were as much as 'collecting experience of it' - and as between my cell and the dungeon there is that ... there is ... space, to play around with. So on the one side I need to endure certain procedures of what goes along with dirty submission - and on the other end still function as a sex slave; ... and once there is some routine to it and we want to 'settle' it - we can give it a name, call it a thing - and do the corresponding 'hocus pocus'.

The idea is to say: "This is good - we want to keep this going" ... and is so, at its base ... naturally to be set up as with lots of space left to be filled. To say ... as wild and dense as it sounds ... it would "unnaturally" occur with other things left in mind. But so - there will be a desire towards it, ... - where its now the Akademies right to suggest various settings - to see, stuff.

In the early stages its mostly about what components get in plus how the individual generally feels about it; And ... thereto first ... space has to be made. It makes sense to first lock me up ... and start going from there.


So uh - I invite every pervert. Basically. Yea - that is the point. And - whilst I would function as Child Rapist; ... I would work on something that then leads on into other things. So - as saying ... that ... well, OK. For once: If we get into it with real sadism and then find it being gone somehow ... then there's first something else to be established. And we all say - Hobby Room by now. And, lets imagine a square table that connects multiple realities.

So, in one I'm a whore, in the other I'm that ... rapist. This both connects me to Baphomet - and whatever the principality of that duality is - here Baphomet were my 'real' spouse. Its though ... one ring or layer. But this is unique in some ways. Anyhow. Here it is my duty to be a slut for child abuse. I might as well be a pregnant boy ... actually.
But yea - so, ... what ... to say. Hobby Room no more?

It could go really quick. Its ... up to whoever is in charge. But there were some significance to who comes first - to so layer upon layer ... also 'feed up' this part of reality. Each layer here were some unique cultural thing outside; ... and I am the first outspoken pervert here.


So, I need my cell - wherein I'm locked up - or ... well. Lets ... . So, first there are things easily accessible; Say - a bedroom with BDSM setup. These two things would correlate to two things in my 'spiral'/life - so, what type of bedroom that bedroom is (Dungeon) - and what this BDSM setup implies. This takes me to b and c. c being for dungeon; And b for ... toilet slavery and BDSM stuff. Whatever. However. So, that isn't Hobby Room. Hobby Room is in some fancy place somewhere in rainbow land of unicorns. Lets say. But it could come without any lock whatsoever. And a free way to the Hobby Room. It were now there for some reason - someone having some interest in ... doing something with the available stock. So, in sense of an Academy - this would simply, mostly, be an intimate mistres:pet thing.

Or so. Well - with ... stuff comes stuff. Uhm. Well. So - I will need to be allowed to write about my progress. So - one vision were that I came to it one day; That my 'locked' desktop is setup for me to write as I sleep in a dungeon with my own shit and piss mixing with other peoples shit and pixx - a toilet dungeon with a bed, a shelf, and bdsm equipment - everything dirt; And I sit there in a latex suit whilst a some dirty plastic coverage hangs atop of the screen. I think this is a special place. Its where Toilet Slaves are made ... maybe. There is a dungeon specifically for that, a lobby where we are being sold off or traded or such - and the upper floors are rooms for us to serve in.

On one end we Whores get to sit together and indulge in our situation too. So, here we love each other, synergizing in terms of 'how real' our situation is. So, we get to mutually demand our depriving ends ... as this being our 'dirty spot' where we ... well ... enjoy this amongst each other. So, we're still whores and sluts and we love rubbing it off at each other.

So, by looking for our own comfort, we need the right people ... and conditions ... atop of ourselves. And naturally does 'the Queens Garden' need grown up Whores ... as, those are the ones who take care of the young ones. Here now those that serve are at the heights of what child slaves can serve as. After their 6th birthay they're pretty much up for cumdumping until either pregnant ... or ... well ... if sterilized maybe or what - ... whatever. Focus is on ... bukkake porn shows - filled with lots of potential crying ... or laughter. Enthralled girls. Sows.

This is the space of 'my highest/first Godess', the Queen of Darkness. To me established as ruling the cosmos. And she ... apparently ... so for the starts ... desires me to stick to my patron. So, this initiates a situation where I'm no longer actively part of this place ... as the authority coming from there sorts me off to someone else. In that setting that patron were to setup my enslavement; Where he now had to meet certain requirements - say, though, he being in charge of taking care of the investments. So - certain things had to setup; To then practically contain me; And that were an 'external' hub/base to the Academy, then. So, here something has been done ... "Academy Funded" ... and is then part of some index. This place were dedicated, then - I suppose, to get the pittiness fucked into me. So - a bunch of folks might come together with such goals in mind ... negotiating stuff with the Academy - and so they would get a hold of me. Thereby they have a 'plan' - some project - specific ideas - ... which I then as stock am getting exposed to.

There were a strong focus on locking me into an imposed scope of privacy, and infiltrating that.

This were then a matter of setups; Where then customers came together to do something - which in a sense would take me to and from a safespace. Or, how is that? Well - I think my life is that I will appear in various settings where in all I happen to be a slave. If you wanted to show me off as a Godess ... it would still come in the awareness of my enslavement.
So - yea. Maybe ... a little bit more Hobby Space.

We could impose - first of all, that Hobby Space is about an insurmountable privilege the individual has in self-determination; Yet within an as insurmountable wall of conditions constituting the individuals 'primary setting'.

Well ... whatever the case, there is always space for me to say what I want. Can that be taken? Yes!


So ... well. What does this mean? It meant that my 'Hobby Space' is also subject to the Academy. In that sense - all I can do; And that is the reality of it - is ... being pro rape.

And so I'm stuck in a situation where I end up 'expressedly demanding' hardcore sadists ... but yea. So, how do we get to an end?

So, whatever - everything in the Akademy follows its rules and standards. So, ... from my end there is an open request that points towards ... a center of sadism ... and as they were coming in they are to follow Academy procedures. This means that first there is stuff in place that constitutes this exposure. So, I'll have a history whenever it gets 'really serious'.

But anyhow. Now - another cent in the box is the suggestion that I had something of a "Secret Desktop" - to say, in some emergency situation it would be available and I could act/exist "outside of the box". So I would be writing this here - in some more ... normal day ... type of setting. As I would socialize with people who fucked me - my general styling would also ... basically ... adjust. So ... and so many issues.


It may so be, or has to be, that my death is being orchestrated from within. So - well - people who want to kill-torture-rape me are close to me.
And on another note: I think one tab I have to put on me is that I need to expose myself specifically in recognition of the things I look up to - as a guy/gayl/whatever.
As on another note suggesting that if you can't fuck me, you can't make business with me.

What does that lead up to? Sigh sigh sigh. I need to let go of it - at some point - and that so mostly to let me 'rediscover' what this safe/hobby space turns out to be for me.


And I think my submission, first and foremost, is to serve as experimental sacrifice. On Gods authority - I'm therefore ... at 'HIS/ITS' mercy - so, for the point of starting at ... laying out my life as locked into utmost depravity. So - we begin with wheels, then add a motor - and such. So, I am Amaterasu.

I still retain all of what I have lost ... but for a final and most universal demand - I'm ... perfectly locked away.

And me willingly conforming to that is at the ... pinackle ... of why that is a good thing. Kindof. Something ... about so.
Well, any unwillingness ... is the other side. It is me getting raped for here and there having it other ways. Thats an "excuse".
I think.
So - real talk: It is established that there is this Hobby Space ... and it is to be established ... this "excuse" ... can it ever be legitimately denied forever; And still be good for everybody involved - as within paradisic circumstances? And the answer is Yes.

And that is what I'm facing?

OK, so I exchange Castle for ... suffering in an impregnation pit or something like that. Well ... OK!


OK! Yes. OK! I ... so, well. Yes. But - there has to be something left? There can't be ... nothing? Well - and to understand the reality of that ... why am I asking?

First ... I will be locked up ... and all I'm taken out for were acts of defiliation, toilet stuff, ... to establish ring #1. So, ... how does that pace?
Locked up 24/7? No?

So, more like - to get used to it: Ritual of abuse, locked up, abused, locked up - for some duration ... ranging from days to potential infinity. So, whatever happens between those moments is still unclear. But - at some point we had some clear idea of stuff that is right around this spot.

Hmm - a mouth gag/ring. The 'dark room' resembles my head - and the implied abuse of my situation is as having my mouth forced open or stuffed - while the door is as a ring around my neck, immersing my body in a world of sexual duties.

And so one thing that comes with this is a 'stem willingness' to have those duties. In that sense my body is like a collection of experiences - enhanced by the spirit - that pretty much make me 'need' that stuff.

Now, for the question: Can I have a computer in that room, ever? No!

OK! That ... makes it ... rough. But I will have chance to access a computer elsewhere, as in that TS submission dungeon for instance? Yea!

So - we can see that at any rate there is some transition from and to. However - anywhere is a cell, to me, finally. Thats the other thing. Whether I'm first locked up here and there, I only travel from captivity into captivity. Yes!

Now, for what my Vagina can take. There is this ... 'if' ... so, what if its unbearable to rape that hole ... is there something as a ... exclusion thing like that? Yes! But it is a reason forward to being executed.

Now, I'm not too well with Cannibalism though. Or - I'd say, Cannibalism is nowhere a 'direct' thing; Only a 'side effect' of some type of human sacrifice/killing. Yes!
So, there is no killing for eating. Except, well, it kindof becomes part of ... the it. I can see myself getting my brain eaten while alive ... like that ... just to end up as a token to ... stuff ... including my loyalty and morbid necrophilia.

So, in this sense there is something of a goal ... a race towards getting me fucked up, with some consideration maybe of not making it too quick. After all - I would want to prioritize larger periods of suffering. So I also want to be at the front of ... but yea ... I think some stuff depends on what ... I ... can bear? Nope!

So yea - right. The common sense determines what I need to bear - and thats whats supposed to give me joy. The consequences are taking me closer and closer to my demise; ... and the thought that I will then never be allowed to have any of my creative fun again is also 'noped'. And yea - the outlook is pretty steep and dark; And so - there is a point where I see that, where I just have to heftily disagree.

And thats a dominant yes.

But God will see to it that I don't get there the wrong way! (Yes!)

So - one thing this needs is 'interest'. Of course. There will be some for instance that have a voyeuristic or otherwise ... passively sadistic interest on me - and I would say, these are my favourites. I want to be their ... toy ... to experience their sadistic fantasies.

So - as from my end ... I think, it seems fair - as something that is good for me and true to you, to write a proposal in regards to that.


I hereby propose myself to the public as slave to an entity, here marked [A], which is responsible of showcasing my private self towards your sexual viewing pleasures. This individual is to subscribe towards the public requests by also making me available to a wider customer base.

Thereby I feel [4] subsequent spots for additional diversification of my publicity.

I have to process what I'm willing to endure, based on my enforced agreements to rape; Ending up being choices I greenlight to the public (have to). Except. No.

OK. We're getting lost here. I further propose that any assembly of sadists as part of the academy ... hmm. How do we do this. I mean, on some end - I ... need to be friends with those that rape me. Right? We exist in peace and harmony with each other; And I gladly spread my legs for them ... though I expect something in return as well.



So - complete U turn, now, let me speak openly as a slut.

Disregarding whom I belong to - I make space to say that in the end I'll be available who lined up at the right person; In that given order. I will submit to a dice game, in which the goal is for me to exploit myself towards given individuals - at which point I'm thinking of 'group/interest' sessions - as some way of 'whore diplomacy'.

To those points it should be made sure that I'm 'baked' ... and the dice game goes that each roll has some implications for me; One about what I have to take - and one about what I have to do for another roll. And this goes on until I faint. Or - everybody is happy.

This is part towards my ultimate fantasy. That were to be baked, and then publically baked, to get baked in porn - and so on - ... while I want my life on earth to be restrained to a schedule that confines me within any of such scenarios.

Saying - if God wills it no differently, I will be born into Slavery.

Or so.

So - now we have two things. One is the dirty stuff locking me into my cell - and the other are some ties into this baking. From my side there so is spiral b) ... dirty and BDSM stuff ... towards c) the Dungeon Cell. At d) I have private social situation; Which is where I'm a child slave or however milked for tears - and at e) there's a public side which is vastly orgy focussed - and f) ultimately has me in the image of a Pet/Toy - tied with chain by neck to wall ... and pregnant. So in a corner. As basically ... decoration - or environment.

So - here is where the people come in that ... feel the urge to fuck pregnant women. For the sake of 'creating child deprivacy' - and so, the 'will' to create that ultimately "thorns the fire" burning in that, as a pleasure - turning 'deprived children' into a Satanic Icon. Those were like mindless ghouls ... some substance surrounding a gaping void; Similar to what is in me; ... and for that reason I might come in such a shape too; That 'lusts' for deprivedness.
These are - somehow - a, "chilling" echo within such individuals ... well, ... its then - I think, like a poison that reaches out with the power of God ... infesting ones mind and ... bonding ... ones soul to its bottomless demand.

On the surface this might make a pretty healthy kid nonetheless ... but once 'exploited' ... this darkness would show up ... and the fact that they are deprived to begin with allows them to more intimately co-exist with the depriving situation they are in with; While being some ... "general fodder" ... to the culture. I mean - these could also do ... normal work, or live some independent life.
Not big a deal. I think.

I'm one of those where this ... practically echoes within my head ... as some epicenter of self-deprivedness. Here I shake and twist for and against it. I would not have that. So I'm different. What is just a faint image in the distant, here is now everything - with a far deeper horror there in the distant, surpassing layer and layer upon ... [lost].


And that is something you have to keep in mind when 'shaping me'. I will need to some part to it myself (Yes) - and as a 'joker' -given- is here ??? my 'fairy Self' as ... something of a cursor of my mind to interact with you on a reasonable Level. Yes!

So - here ... we're basically dealing cash and I'm the whore that serves ass ... but so I also want to have some whammy out of it. This means - stage 1: The perfect whore one could dream of. Archetype: Collar, Shackles at Arms and Legs - black leather slave rig ... pet type submission. Lingery style: Breast and Shameless, Black and Belt or Pregnancy Focussed - stockings, with potentially gloves and a choker. On top of it take ... whatever glamerous luxus beast of a woman you might think of. So ... its ... there. And ... what does it mean? [message]. ^^. But yea. Thats ... cool. And so theres that point where we are who we are ... floating in the vastness of the universe ... .

Then, to be socially fair - as a 'best' intersection between meeting social norms and being an individual - I see myself as party slut. This means - I am exposed to serve anyone at given party to serve as their slut; So, allowing any advance on me. And the general point would imply humiliation for me ... being one 'symptom of harmony' ... regarding 'Clarity conditions'.


Another thing now were that ... there's a vein like - anyone who's interested to seeing me get daisyfied comes first. There should be some prioritization like that. At any rate - anything that can be added to my trip to death ... were a good thing; For some duration. In the end - eventually it just got time.

There could be a ranking from soft to hard.

So - I have to subscribe to 'hard' first - yes - and maybe we can start with the weekends around 'new moon' (complete darkness) - with a special case whenever that either hits 'midweek' or 'night into sabbath' - or out of it ... I ... don't know too much about that.
So - one given spike for me is ongoing deprivation - saying, at some point I want to be fully spun into a schedule that has me exposed to ... a ritualistic climax ... or exageration. There would be a 'first' time ... and each time it would set some lines for what is to come. So - to some balance. This can be more or less depriving - and so, as I can exist in different levels of saturation.


Anyhow ... so, ... setting me up to be the Diety you want - ... we have to forge my image. So, lets say I forgot - because the process had it that way ... so, we have to rediscover it.

The thing is ultimately that between certain events or focus points ... there is time. And if the Bible tells us one thing - then that 'taking a break' is imoprtant.


So, here I can totally participate in my own demise; While practically ... its all supposedly mutual.

Until, well, there comes the point where I'm supposedly ... done; Locked away for good and that until I die. So - that were, 'second base' - and also 'access' way to being less 'Gaia' and more 'Amaterasu'. Or to say ... more deprived. More isolated. Here is where I'll spend most of life. There is no other way. Any exceptions to this are not something 'aside' - but rather just a step 'back' into this forever existing 'universalistic foundation' that preceeded any clarity that came in.

YES!

So, that is not a) - but is 'zero'.

Spiralistically. But rather, somewhere - on the other end ... . Weird ... but - OK.


This means - there are now 'cycles' - closed loops, iterations of lifetimes and experience - that mark a duration between those various exit points. And due to their nature, they don't feel like "getting freed" - but more like a 'step out'.

And here its ... important that you get the message that I'm still 'ya'r' slut. I mean - what you do to me down there is what you do to me uphere ... so, you might as well stare at my titts right now.

How frequent or infrequent ... rather, how much of that ties into what is below. There will certainly be some individualistic markers - ... but mostly I think this is at the end ... after everything is already more or less solid.

So - the point were also, unless I'm female and free - free in a sense of 'given this autonomy' - I'm not "there" - at a 'moment like that' - so, this also is where compared to 'that' part of me, 'my child' self is at. So, if my child self were 'that' - then my life would be different, I guess. Hmm ...

OK, anyway. So, Pregnancy. Thats a thing. This 'outer shell' may as well appear pregnant - and that would also already imply ... some parts of a picture. Hmm ... this is weird.


Anyhow. I won't be that without - so this thing - your contribution. So - what I am there is basically ... what you make of me. So, the more you invest in me, the more you get out of it.

And so you want to give it to me ... and I want to take it; And expose my worth to you.

Its a thing. OK - just ... ignore all of this. This outside world - whatever I am, should there come forth from what you do to me 'in the box'. So, there were an emote next to me - and if you treat me 'right' it will be a smiley. OK.

So - first of all: When it gets to sexual deprivacy - I'm a sucker for "sad endings" - a.k.a.: The [terror] continues.

So - this is like a gift from me to you. To say - a story, framing my sad ending - as a gift to the public; As part of my interest in being/becoming a Joy Toy. So, the "highest voted" twists and turns get stitched together and imprinted onto me; Something along those lines. Maybe here and there a fantasy of my own accord.

And I think its fair to say that whenever I have to quit "midway" - my death should be as climactic as the way up there. So, it might be as weak as just a bullet to the head, but also as hot as a piece by piece ... disassembly, just up unto my torso; ... well. OK. At least when given some 'fantastic tolerance'. In this world ... things are first of all determined on scientific interest. So, demands come forward - smartassing occurs - some; Pleasure align exploit/"excuse" is being formulated and then so 'after the fun' (imposedly: passionate and mindless/driven by lust) - things are recounted for. If it has been too much; Then yea ... of course there's a note to be made. You maybe make such mistakes once; And if its a difficult issue maybe more than that - but its all for a good purpose.

And I volunteer. Proudly. Or ... sadly.

So, I think, on my behalf - I come as a brunette (black haired) girl in a dolly dress, while everything that comes with me is held in a beige/pink'ish tone with violet undertones alongside the black (and maybe white) embossing and script.
It emphasizes monotony - with the pink emphasizing childish purity ... where the purple is to resemble a fresh spring breeze.

The Queens Garden now is for all Gentlemen that want to shamelessly unload their sperm into children and whores; And ladies that want to participate in whatever way; And be it just sadistic voyeurism. Oh ye, Sadistic Mistresses, I love ye - your presence gives me purpose in life; And I gratuitiously serve to evolve towards your satisfaction.

So, that would draw a woman that is on some end intimately tied to me, love is going on; But to society she's ... really just there to 'get me served'. The intimacy and love would fortify around pressing me into my subserviant state - and she always socially functions as 'main motor' behind all the fuckfests going on on us. Thats one natural thing - as it turns out; As - an individual like that needs to have some ties of this sorts. So, an intimate 'lifeline'.
Which is where that 'Luxus Slut' becomes a pet - mind you. So - there is that person, my #1, where ... friendship access has it that this ... what is under the hood ... has immediate functionality.

#SlutForLife.

And this is I think specifically cut off from what is your concern. This 'slut' comes out after you have it your way ... as far as Gods justice is concerned. And the thing to look forward to is that once you got me nailed in my submission - and everyone is kindof on the same page about it; Its 'settled' - and then we get over to chapter 2 at some point.

This were "1.5". 1 2/3 tops.

By then you should all have your fingers on me in some way; To say - I can play a role in your world ... s ... on various Levels. There would be the more common realm where those who get me are more privileged - and yet that to some end where you have your way on me.

I like the sound of that!

So - here I want to be your doll. There are a few things you can choose from; Where ... lesbian is as male as it gets I'm afraid.

Here my expectation of you isn't much different from my expectations on my #1; Except, more superficial. So, she would silently watch TV with earplugs in her face while I'm bound to a rig with a plug up my mouth and perhaps a fucking machine working my bottom. And maybe that also on my mouth. Maybe in some way that gets me squeeking in the background. I love the ... posonous taste of that. Like, the nasty taste of vomit ... forced into my sistem of pleasure.
So - you wouldn't do just that. Its however ... there is some comon sense in where I'm coming from. I'm all of your slut - in the end - and you can have it more or less magical. There are certain limits though. If you don't any "magical" stuff, you need to either embrace hypnosis of a kind or be more ... dominant. Or ... have some other excuse for me to feel raped. Its simple. Finally.

So yea - the more this goes on the more you might also end up impregnating me - as we had some ... beautiful ... cosmic ... arrangement of peace.


In my "Q-Space" I'm still a deprived slut. This is where my parents are hardcore child rapists; As I'm bound into the Queens Garden ... and ... here we just had to start at the academy: So: They are above 6, they need to be raped ... and ... whats bound to happen? Well, it doesn't work like that. We have to first find ... someone who ... fits the demands. Eventually those can only be 'home-grown' anyway, or? Well - where however the 'cum dumpsters' meet and things end up 'working' - so, whatever moves into the reach of 'Queen Garden' - then becomes space of advance. We need ... certain ... limits. So - of course we want to take it gentle - but so we also have a dice for ... not so gentle.

Or do we want a dice?

I think ... I feel, there is a lot of weight in the idea that it gets to that point - and then it ends up, ... being nothing. That ... could happen; Based on some idea ... but 'can' it? No!

Thats said. Imposed, implied.

So there is to be some weird culture of child molesters; And Queens Garden is their place. Simply put. So, here there is space to think of ... 'the quickest way to screw a child' ... so, 'infancy' stuff. Here is where they get born; And on one level we have interest in the early stuff. So - thats whats going on with those that have ... pentagrams on their wombs. Those children will receive a fate - ... and that is determined by group interest. Those at the base express their stance on the thinking, so for people to check and submit - etc. - with maybe some face of anonymity but still with transparent ... everything. So, documented and retracable and what matters present. So, the more the better. What can be cleared first matters longer.

So, where's the end of good taste? The basic suggestion is that the 'real' prostitution starts at 6. There is Queens Garden - and whatever some extra dice might hold.
So, here we want to get delicate - as when knowing that I'm in that child ... you know. Taking it somewhere ... in that sense.

I - as a gift to you - am thereby a "legal trauma pillow" for you. Its to say; Whatever might trouble you - with me, you can take comfort in a bit of sadism; As I have it directed upon myself. You should sense my satisfaction therein - and feel it as a seal of comfort/reconceiliation - mirroring a feeling of justice that embraces all sorts of quirky people. "If you knew what people want of me". Well - you would know.

And that is, where I want to take it. Into the idea of being your ultimate Joy Toy - /Rape Slave. Rape Slave comes along with a label, that this individual is pretty much raped always. So - the situation of being exposed is considered enough. Its ... the point. Whatever sex you do with it is rape.
Thats the dowgrade I guess. Well, as neutral as it gets were some sort of ... inner dominance. So, its ... fair enough I think.

The only way I'm Dominant is within a Bubble of primarily Humiliation. And I think thats another tab I have to set up on me. And while we're at it: Sacrificial Mutilation. As in ... I give my OK, but not doing it myself. You do it.
So, that tab is Humiliation. One of the four things added to A must be focussed on my humiliation. Here I want to center around what I am - I want to be forced towards self-depriving honesty and give you a chance to really set the marks there where they matter the most. So, this is in my private intimate kellar cell - I suppose, viewed from the social nexus. My captivity therein is the seed for all outgoing fantasies. Theres a tight network controlling what is 'me' at the basic levels ... so, that can be ignored in some way. Here I am at my most intimate and private - and here's where you can zoom in on me and be at the source of all the 'evil'.

So - 'this' is evil. Me routing for this lifestyle. A network of slave trade and abuse ... so, cherishing the 'darkness' within us. And there maybe "Satanistic Bitch Self" comes out - so, take the upper hottie and give her vampire fangs and an evil laugh plus a creepy mansion. So, a witch! I love that!

And I use my witchcraft to become a whore.
That is captured in my redhead essence. Pretty tight. It reflects of what I do or want "in secret" - and so there is all my vanity and egoism, wrapped up in what is ultimately a subserviant sex slave. And all that ... stuff, plus humiliation and so. Including the piercings on my nipples and the whole shenanigans.

But I also like to think of my "secret Pub" ... somewhere in some wilderness ... where passerbys are in for a ... surprise!

So - if I have to face my male self and demand something it would certainly like ... it were to be facefucked. So, thats for you to say - think of whatever way to humiliate me while giving it to me; Or so: "tanking it" - while, somehow correspondent to some guidelines.

Whatever. Humiliation.

And put that into the violet. Pink is also a color for ... well, as mentioned, purity. This purity reflects my childish - volume - as growing up within all these sexual events. Those were the embossing/decoration. So, you there have a girl you can impossibly not rape. So, "when delivered to your heavenly doorsteps" ... there is more than just one thing. As doll ... I think I can also be something more pleasant to you. Things may vary - and that is also good for me. But ... well, anyhow.


Does this 'fill me up'?


"Barely" I think. So, there is now the 'Slut' in me - and whatever else I think goes along with me ... existing in peace and harmony with my life. So, thats then, "the Pet/Doll". Here I would set forth, that 'reality' has it that I would interact with you - similar to how a pet/doll would - so; You make up the trauma.
For me now there are criteria like: Is it traumatic enough? Because thats what my fans want.

And yea - they most basically determine what you get with me. But now it were one focus to know more about it - to say: My own synergy with it - and see how it matters; As, thats the 'main' thing - of the living organism.

So, in me - it seems that a male dominant voice - mostly my male side - constitutes a female ... self-depriving ... anatomy; And I can't control it.

Thats me - also alias Amaterasu - and so I'm a leading figure in any role that is somehow depriving. And my 'trademark' is that 'cell room' wherein I'm locked up; And ... I think, I ... feel, this is where you can honor me the most. Decorating the ... 'wall/door/lock' that locks me into this darkness. So - "stuff it". "Stuff me".

Amaterasu in that sense means - slave to your Lustful desires.

Those that are given to you, inevitably involve me - and from there you may extend into other things. I'm simply "the Anti God" in that regard.

This means, this 'decoration' to what is on my box, is basically like that box - and inside is ... well, a child/girl that is to end up as such a 'hollow ghoul'/cumdump - with some, ... 'concurrence' focus based on ... certain factors. There should be some ... competition towards more - as things progress.

Parking Jumbos in a Vagina? Why not!
Elephant Rape ... Dragonball style.

So, mark 1 is Toilet Slavery. It implies that you first have to dump me in a sufficient amount of shit - including whatever else is invoked within; Which may contain multiple marital bondings. As to say - technically ... infinite?
Anyhow ... thats ... private. Sorry. The thing is that outside of this door - you had me as 'delivered' in a box; And that goes to the end of saying - a doll shaped by sadism. The main thing being: Its 'more' than what you might want - but you'd feel me on a base thats ... good for you. If you can't roll with it, there are those that do ... while so, in that room - I'm a girl. Here the dirty stuff comes down to a conclusion and transitions over into cumdumping.
How to ... make this ... not stupid? Or does this say ... eaten?

Well - this is ... then to get to c) - the dungeon - and one ring further out g) - as abduction. So, ... g) is closer to my 'home'/'house' - and so you can find ... me ... in the dungeon, while privately I'd matter to people on a different plane. Thats "backstage" ... but not so much me being different.

So - in any way ... once the fucking began, it would kindof ... come to some balance good for everybody. We had kinky occasions where us whores get to be whores - and thats good enough, well, as something to then cherish while moving on with life. For me you however want to say, OK - now that I had that - what does my schedulre read? Well - or "where am I?". Each place had a specific set of rules for 'where' I'm at. Finally, in c), is the point where I feel that ... the shackles put on me are there forever - while - this is where sadistic people will be allowed to access me.

The Dungeon should after all be a place of sadistic pleasures; This is where hobby SM ends. The slaves here are cooked and baked and what not - and while some do the cooking and baking - others can live off of that, so; Its a comon joy and effort.

So here we are 'in the dungeon' - which is part of the academy - or somehow, everything is part of one big thing; And now what I had to become is 'something' "boxed" into a passive cumdump; Outlined by toilet slavery. So - how, would this work?

First, there is no fertility to any wanting if there is no doing; And any doing comes with its own inherant fertile interest.

So, that is at the 'baseline' of what is made public. Snapshots of events maybe. Or ... if situation has it ... first times and such. Here ... my subscription binds me into being firstly drawn subject of sadists. So - I'm a girl - Sex Slave and such - and yea, while there isn't a lot that can be altered per se; You can still feed it; And with enough support this can be as a machine responding towards demand. Well - sortof.

I think ... this ... goes slightly over board. So - what is me? So, all novelties aside - at some point things will be routine; And I will be more and more in touch with myself. I'm happy to be fundamentally a rape slave; ... and so - with these tabs on mind - where, go we?

Amaterasu. As "Sun" ... I would want to be the climax of your combined ... Lust/Sadism ... I want to 'moan' ... as a cumdump about to get slaughtered. Thats, me and my husband then. He's the one ... whom I die for ... so, thats an intimate thing.

But to you I'll be one of many girls that are basically locked up in a silly box ... like a video game ... and all you can do is ... really nasty. Sortof. High Scores go by: How fucked up a girl gets ... .


And I want to subscribe to you as a fetish princess ... for ... depriving and spoiling the utmost purity and innocence I may resemble - ... as ... so, my true beauty being your combined efforts of feminizing me.

But this is softcore.

Well, first I need to exist in some really hardcore depravity before my word on ... 'more' ... can be taken seriously. So, up until my end there would be some ... way of testing that out.


A 'very special' invite goes out to all those that want to see my cry/shed-tears-of-sadness. That so lust for it with a sadistic passion. This is ... d) - for me. Here I'm stuck in my cell, which then extends to a playground aimed at really ... exploiting my captivity. The dungeon is held in themes of captivity - this one is more like ... themed around my identity. Something along the lines of realizing that my mistresses will be slaves at the bottom of society; And what they experience at the bottom, will be what I experience at the best.
Well - it sounds cool. Its ... pseudo bullshit. But it helps ... and is certainly true to some significance.
Its clear that once set off for me - into that direction - these lines can blur really fast. I think. I mean ... whatever. God is great!
So - whatever - here 'prime time' is given to the experts of ... defiance. And I want my tears of depriving sadness to be a warming, comforting fire to all those that get to embrace me. However God permits it. Maybe its for all, maybe only Satanists. I propose its for all.

My crying voice shall be what stretches the echo of the void I'm captured in; And this 'harsh' focus of sadism imposed onto me a guiding figure.

This were "the Light of [A]" - the person who hosts Amaterasus exposure to the Public.


Or ... public exploit.

So -- no shit talk ... once I get my face fucked really good I'll know if that person is ... here or there. Thos that really care about seeing me getting fucked should get that certified so they can get forced into the mix. So, a) is my public deprivation, b) is my public exploitation, c) is reserved for sadistic interests - and d) is where I'm milked for tears. e) is where I then may show the good this delivers - and so I want to subscribe to you; That I may showcase my compliance to my suffering by making my slut self available here.

So, my ... captive slut self. I shall humiliate myself as enthralled to depravity - so that while you harass me I shall respond with how much I like it; As at the very least to show you my slut-face in action. #TheSow.

So, thing has it that anything further - so, f) at least - doesn't really measure in a lot because I can't get pregnant. So you'll need some other 'kinky business' - so, fuckslut. Formerly male fuckslut. Here I would like to be exposed to ... well. Lets say, it comes as it comes. Focus on my slut again.

I think this can be a good start. Once someone can tease out my slut - thats like, a good start. So - eventually there will be more and more that can come into that; And while done right this to me is just one straight flash of ecstasy. I will be put into that state where things get going - whilst getting humiliated; And then we can move to d) and f) - to say; Extended duty, at the start of it or whatever.

So, to me however - I now find these spots where I can 'broaden' myself - as this "Luxus Whore" - and be a slut. This ... were like a woman sitting on a sofa floating on a cloud, commenting on the visual content.

And for the "Gif" efefct, violently undresses herself and gives into cocks and cum.

Anyhow. Good for me! I ... I ... I'm floating away. What ... a wonderful thing. And I love ... the fact that I really have to give certain things up.

So until people thought its time to snuff me. So, here, in my dreams, yea - I first get cut down to my torso - and then shoved into an oven. So, all the silicone had to be removed as well - and maybe thats where I'll die. Mouth, Tits - and maybe even anus and vagina.
Or more.
Well. I mean - maybe, whatever.

I subscribe to becomming a shameless child-molester and an evil fuckslut. Thats ... a good look at my male shame. OK, I'm stripped into it and that in ways, that ... yea, picture a "faggot boy", pregnant with a vagina. I mean - its ... humiliating - but fair.

As otherwise having something of a horse-ish rod to go with. I mean - that were to supplement my 'act' as a rapist. And - this in the idea draws me some outlines for what I expect as a child slave.

So, anyone who gets their kink off on citizens below 6; Thats a special thing here. So - what can I say? 6 seems like a good and saney age to focus at; ... but well. Its not ... the end for me. I think ... of it so, that I have some urge to shamelessly expose myself as a tranny; Which is somehow on par with how much I want to get raped as a girl/child.
I take it that certain things prior to a certain age can be somehow ... futile. Its ... well. If I now were in charge of it - it were first of all more important to get some portraits. So, ar ... I'm stuck.



The thing is that once I get reborn - I want things to have moved on to ... some point. But yay - once its settled that perverts can take their lead and come up with something as a "to do" list ... ranging from 'want that' to 'need/have' that - and one of the first things that need to be clear about us is that 'you' are those that shove those cocks and the cum and all that up my mouth. So, starting from my slutty OK, thats where I get what I want ... but finally ... you are to give me; And thats what I shall 'need'.

So my loyal followers basically cherish some fire thats burning through me ... and that is constituted within this simple thing. That what I am to the public; Is finally the product of me being dominated.

The "power of rape".

In some sense I'm like a Lava Lamp. So, ideally existent in a set of conditions that showcases some ... strangely ... enchanting phenomenon.

So - what matters is I think the 'reward me through deprivation' thing. Thats something I can impossibly untie. No matter how hard I resisted ... give it to me the right way; And the access to that should be large; ... it comes in sooner or later.



Hmm - what else. I ... kindof need to be more self-depriving here!


My Patronage. It turns out that my wedding ring - so, my seal 1 thing, though bonding me towards my #1 is there in favour of some 'male interest' - and "Patron 1" (P) would be my 'daddy'. My daddy is my sweetheart - and I'm as a girl who has a crush on her dad, while all she thinks about is getting fucked. So, My daddy has the responsibility of exploiting me and to distribute me on a rapist basis. At some points this involves the "toilet dungeon" - ... if a thing.
So, this ... is a thing.
That my primary wedding is ... basically this. That I'm a whore/slut.

I feel that the harder you give it to me, the more satisfied I will end up in my captivity; And for sake of balances - in this box, what is given to me as 'valuable' is anything ... I've mentioned it before, sex utility related. Err ... make up, slutty outfits and dildos. So - I suppose that in my state of 'satisfied deprivation' I will find further meaning and happiness within these confines. I can paint myself, dress myself, masturbate ... next to feeling the magnitude of my depravity times and times again.

Although coupled to my #1 I think this can be linked to whats part of my cell. So, the public having rights on ... having a part to me getting screwed. The premise is that here my misery is constituted through stuffing me with shit and urine ... cocks and cum ... as primary function to get a really funny look onto my face. Lets say it that way. There so were a limit as to what my metabolism could take ... but so, getting my limits probed is part to that submission.

Erm. Repetitive?


OK, what do I got? I ... need to be mutilated. At the bottom though I want to serve as tool to finding 'the Light' that makes shit like that work. So - my well being is then key. And yea ... whatever comes out at the end of it.

And well. I kindof ... so, this 'doll me' that is for everyone - I think this, might have to be a pleasant thing. The opposite of what I said. Hmm ... I wonder. How far does this go?

OK, anyway. I only wish ... I ... .//2017.08.10|08:50{

... hmm.

}


I ... . I want to be ended in a really horrible and depriving way; So I propose that once you start taking me apart - you take it slowly. And so, whats my take on it?

I find it difficult; But I think the best thing to want is a foreshadowing of what I am to expect as a child later down the road. So, at some point we might say, I'm simlated to a set age - and thereafter treated according to ... what I recommed is best.

And so - I would, if I couldn't please you here - dedicate my 'hobby time' to devising inspirational content towards that end.



And ... I think ... a guiding picture should be that I'm supposed to be perfectly satisfied about everything ... within my demise. So, ... "imposed". Err ... oh my, shit ... I want ... more. This isn't ... good enough yet!



Professional Baking. The default bondage for a 'baked' slave is with ankles and wrists together, arms behind back. The slave is then first to be fucked until hitting some limits - and then can be put to rest in that way. Then - the 'sadistic enthusiast' is to frequently spike that rest with additional harassment; Looking forward to their willing self-exposure to the then awaited 'torments'.

It is clear to first establish that situation 'beyond' an individuals comfort zone.

Knowing something about the individuals recreative need then helps stretching the margin - until the individual is perfectly 'baked' - at which point I wish simply put: "Mechanical treatment". So, for some time I'm supposed to circulate that way - give or take - and those would be good occasions for shoving some 'public kinkery' into my lifetime.

For this we would settle on a fictional setting - chosen so to setup the pornographic stage. And I'm subjected to that, no matter how ugly I might be, ... just so. Its ... principality.

Or ... something.

You want to see me get baked - at least my loyal followers/fans do - and yea ... how ... now ... the child abuse?

Hmm ... girl inside of me that loves her harassers. Yea sure. This is a thing, though a theory. Can I ... can this happen? If it can, we have one more on: Sophisticated Light stuff. So, harassing the slut in me to the surface. Eventually that were to imply real violence, dull violence; And I think that makes a good start. Resembling whatever torture I might expect as ... infant. So, in womb, birth - ... .

But there has to be some 'longevity focus'. You want me suffering/burning alive ... clearly. So ... yea ... I think, ... it comes down to my followers.


So, in terms of the Dark Web - here you should expect updates on what the Academy is up to. And maybe this is some place to ask for bitcoin donations ... and take it to prostitution that way.


So - in that sense; Thats a good 'frame' to start in. So, in "Baphomets Keep" - we have something as a 'main focus'. There are studios - and in the idea we are here in the hiding doing our evil stuff. I would then introduce you to the children in a more intimate sense; To so show you some of the initial love making.

This is so only in a best case scenario. In more rudimentary ... I mean. There is some ... hmm? I don't know.

But clearly the target is to then also show escalation; Though at first ... one side is about slowly ... testing out the grounds. So, going with soft instead of hardcore. Where again, hardcore is wanted.

But, there is no side of public feedback without a legitimized crowd. So, for the outsider - this were a non-interactive circus.


Anyway - on the public end we're dealing with my ... proper ending; And a science driven focus. OK.

This means, we first check for these principalities that make the deprivation work. Once certain things are set; I were so ready to take it a step further. Say; Then I were captive. That I were after it were settled that its 'safe'. Thus saying that once I'm captive - all the implied thingies start to really matter. Then I'm ... yours truely.


So, intimate satisfaction means that I have satisfaction from something regardless of its public side. I take it for myself. And that happens to be rape for me. "Accidentally".

And so yea - I want to submit myself to getting taken apart. Simulating the life of a girl that is first violated to become a 6th birthday star ... gangbang ... where; Taking it, with the grace of God, as warming up for the reality. Here I firstly want to focus on 'the most hardcore' possible outcome; And that is rape torture with death focussed on elonguated epravity; So ... what matters is to get the pain rolling as to see how long the embers glow.

First there is the 6th birthday which is just some violent gangbang. "Just". Well - however - from thereon its baking time - spiced up with meeting other duties - while in the dungeon classically spiraling up towards more and more sadistic ideas. And privately speaking - the idea of everything beneath ellbow and knees being gone - while being tied in as a rape whore - thats ... kindof funny. I love it.

So - in the end - I think you should focus on hollowing me out as far as it goes; ... to say "Amaterasu" is the pinackle of sexual suffering constituted through accumulative sadistic lust.

Beyond pragmatic needs the purpose is simply decorative.


And yes ... I now start to doubt that a 'right away captivity' track won't be available - ... while yea, before taking me the ability to write I should be able to really tell what I'm getting me into.

Yehay. So, all is good. I'm confident. So, in the idea the ideal stretch were like 6 years, from 6 to 16 - nothing but torture. That is I think a generous estimation; Maybe exagerated - but ultimate what I feel comfortable with. If that start at me 40 - then getting killed at 50 seems fair. And so yea - 10 wonderful years where all that matters is ... really ... getting me stuffed hard.


And so - when reborn - I need to be that. And then again. From getting snuffed away prior to 6 - err. so ... yea -how is that again? I want ... some, more ... hardgore.

So - from one angle I am, might be put in charge to first do to kids what I then expect to be done to me. So, thats ... then there; Where ... Baphomet as a she gets off on my rapist cock. So - on the juices of suffering children.

If I can judge from how I "roll" mechanically - its really just a mechanical thing at some point; Like I don't really feel anything in my cock and only mind a brutal performance; Sortof. So however that when it goes in and out - it won't happen gently. Maybe. I mean ... some ... times ... torture happens slowly.

But yea - on one end we might start by simple looking at what pedophiles might want of me and how we synergize.


So - slutty self. What is me? I want to write you a letter; Where all I have are self-depriving motivations - as that ... is what I'm bound to and greatful for.

Oh yea, so ... this ... isn't new. I've been here before - and so, what stands out that 'the highest extremes' are really what we want to be striving for. Its safe to say taht we'll get clarity sooner rather than later ... - and if we lack fantasy - my compliace could/should be testable against getting beaten up, practically.

Can this work? I mean - when intimidated I might go along with everything. How to know? So - here's a thing: I will have to lay down my 'work' - writing that is - to experience the full extent of what I say I want to be getting into; Once so 'fulfilled' in the sense; So, as others then wanted it. This so that I'll either be released to write why it didn't work - or to write why it did work - and how come that 'that' might be (one of the) last times I write anything; In this life.


Saying that there mustn't be a computer in my cell - thats ... awesome. Kindof. I'm looking forward to getting comfortable with it. That is something of a 'month' thing. So, for some time me getting raped were in focus. So - being baked to get me cooked into my toilet slave self. If that hasn't fully unfolded by then yet. I mean - certain things are already happening.
But, practice often looks different.
However it then looks - yea ... . Well so - month. What I mean there is then complete withdrawal and perfect exposure. To so really cut to the core of testing out whether there is merits to what I want or not.

And a good starter were so me deep throat puking. And some solution to bringing my stomach acids back into balance.


Well - now I got to wrap this up. And yea ... I'm looking forward to ... really enjoying shit. I think also that at some point the message from 'sane' Toilet Slaves were to be mindful of keeping toilets clean - as - "we will haunt those that ..." ... you know!
But yea. Ultimately getting shit rimmed down my throat should become "standard" - ... its part of the "go to" things when crossing the line between 'mere social abuse' and effectively "down raping" someone. I mean, at some point there is only "so much" stuff that can be done - and once that kicks in, things really come down to - yea - what gives us individual joy.

So, don't forget: I'm only happy once I radiate depression - saying; If you acquired any responsibility to support my submission - ... I mean, I want to make sure that I'm horribly uncomfortable if I'm ... not taken in that way.


But I think I'll continue this elsewhere; Differently - at least, now I'm out of drugs too ... and got to sleep. Good ... night ... or ... morning. //09:49