Something Something ...

"Technical KO?"

So, as of this spirals.html

I got around to the same ending as usual, yet I bit more noteworthy in regards to limits. Now, there is this "thing" that I have, and best expressed the meaning is: "If my/those feelings are correct, then ...".

A side-issue was thus far my male "event" - and through recent attempts the record has shown that there seems to be some strong evidence that the 'anti-male' attitude is perfectly the right one. OK, which leaves the question: How does this affect my female side?

I mean - first of all, the 'main cut' within me is between the male 'mindset' and the "female" physiology - cognitive/spiritual. Now, a 'limit' had been recorded; Which seemed to have been counter-balanced by prioritizing the definition of 'doll'. Thus saying, first of all, whatever is "up there" gets subjected to what the Doll is all about.

There again I stumbled upon some limit; And its resolve at that point was indirect; Though hinting at an anti-male stance is yet "to be maintained". If we put the 'ability to choose' in question; Well ... we can go further.

Anyhow - for the feels part; I felt it was important, next to other things, to 'realize' that what I associate to 'Queens Garden' could be taken as the "public invocation of my Clarity". That stance is supported by a variety of perspectives; And it gets me, at the bottom of it all, to my Collar and which were the best term to ... express it as. I used the term 'Rape Slave' - and as of that I've gotten into a state of acknowledging a practical approach to this.

First, as a Rape Slave, I'll have to be exposed to rape. So there is as simple as that, first of all that 'practical' environment that will first have to be saturated. The show goes on in that once there is that, pissing and shitting on me would be about Toilet Slavery - and effective in that this activity resonates with the rape. So, instead of there being some other social interaction; That is a clear way of putting me into my spot. Toilet Slavery then is about accepting this spot 'limitlessly', so, by which the already experienced rape is to be taken as reference, in conjunction with being pissed and shat upon, towards an absolutistic degree.
While being a Rape Slave is in another sense primarily about being 'bolted' into a rapist community; Toilet Slavery brings that one bit further, dehumanizing the person; And in essence both are still separated. So, the idea being that with those where Toilet Slavery mattered - if it were me with those but without Queens Garden sotospeak, then the Toilet Slavery wouldn't matter all that much. They yet had a certain range of practices which link into it - but here we're also moving closer to the doll side I feel.

And so - 'if' what I feel is correct; Then all my creative work, what I associate to it, is cancerous for me. I would/will continue to work on those things, so on and so forth - because thats what my sanity requires me to do. To then say; "Doll" goes 'deeper' than Toilet Slavery, maybe - ... which worked to say: OK, whatever limits I felt - they were about not going too far.
Now, 'this' way of correctness 'specifically' goes against the other way; Which is built on the idea of 'not (ever) disallowing me' from sharing my thoughts and such with you. So - first there is that line. Then, if its the latter - we might have to think again.

So - so far I solved this by arguing that "eventually we can't but realize that the Spirits mood has changed" - and thats a given absolute. If God follows a plan that doesn't require us to know whats coming - we might as well ignore it; Like so many other things in life.
So, the first of the two cannot circumvent that. It is left to God to say what and when. So, this however is 'the exception'. Saying, that this 'thing' is to be treated as nonexistent. And maybe here is my problem. That at this point we had to live the exception for a while; Until I'm done.

So, in other words: Version a) Perfect Darkness; And version b) "Yes, (s)he may use a Computer from time to time". Or do ... stuff - other than being an animal.

So, this until at some point ... . Well, can become independent? Its not like I can't work on that already! Or can I? Well, some thought that has been floating around was to say that once "there" I'm simply in a completely different mindset where none of that creative work matters anymore. That were like a heavenly massage - ... . So, this would go on to say that 'this is the reason'; ... so, that once I'm "there" - I would experience any non-sexual duty as discomfort. I mean - I already do. Still I have time to spare; ... and now the difference between A and B were: What can I do? What could/would I do 'now'? Well - I'm sure that on one side there is a strong potential for change; Despite continuity. People, Environments, ... alongside Phases and Stages.

But well. Now - on to another thing: Lets first of all say that there is something we call 'aligned entity'. First thing we require for that is that two entities align to each other, so both can refer to the other as 'aligned'. Now, thinking of 7 days per week, "lets say" that each 'base alignment' comes with a) a way to bridge the 7 days and b) 1 day worth of time. This said now that person A brought 'Rape Slavery' (alpha) into my existence; Thus there is 1 day worth of rape. Then with B came Toilet "Suppression" - generalized captivity or being an abductee ... - which again came with a day worth of stuff. Here Toilet Slavery would come as part of the 'environment' - in my sense - a.k.a.: S... hmm ... no. Well. 1 Day worth of Rape on a basis of being generally exploited as a Sex Doll. Effectively.

Hmm ... something like that. On another note could now two come together; Or more - so, it depends on the relationships, time, spaces - etc..

The general gist of this is that in some matters of the calculation we get around "unfilled time". One question were about: OK, what do rules say? But in this time we also have to ask: What do feelings say? The issue being: Its all about the 7 days worth of time. On this note, my expressions regarding B in this picture changes - to say that I feel as a cold lifeless object; Well, that is: Here I'm abducted and loyal to the abductors. There is no deeper reason but the abduction itself. So, this is like a "default" thing. To me - also. Its the "perfect situation" I'll like to see myself in - and also carries along as such in form of a "private heaven". Which is ... socially enhanced.
Or speckled?
So - while I over time would grow to feel more and more as theirs, even so as a daughter, the past remained ... in such a sense; ... as of which the 'higher magnitude' of changes ... is a thing.

A on the other end is more like ... a 'block' - so in the feels. As in identity:environment the identity. But well. Aside of 'dwelling' in their Basement (B), there were the stuff concerning the interactive side of things; Wherein there is "thought to be" a potential amount of isolation for as long as 6 days. Now subtracting sleep from the 24 hours - if we want to be so - and that spreads out even further. And yea - "unhealthy distribution" of things were 'always unhealthy'.

So, as for A - furthermore - and that also in ties to B - there were now, lets just say 1 Day, or ... together one Weekend - where the 7 days in the A side automatically implied 'social obligation #1' a.k.a. clarity - or such. This were the space of/for rape - at first. This - I suppose - went to the point that 'Queens Garden' attracted a certain kind of Mentality - and that here were idiomized as 'rapist'. On that behalf - Queens Garden could 'give me away' - as for instance back and forth to B. In the A side the time would mostly amount to prostitution; Thus the value focussed on that one day left - and on the B side the time would mostly amount to captivity - thus focussed on the 7 days.

Now, whats up with my male mind in this? Well, to me - "its a Gaia thing". Gaia in me resembles the most beautiful part of me I could think of, in every way, tamed to serve as sex slave. On more intimate Levels the demand on that side of me turns into pressure unto those "dirty secrets" - to say that I have to succumb my male desires towards being that personality.

Its simply put torture - and should turn into a mark that signifies my 'captivity' - where now male were a "possibility" of a freedom that I don't have.

At least until where social burdains have relevance; And beyond that things get private - where, all this is ... practically even grown. But - so on the deepest of my pit - this 'male' side exists around the center - and its outgrowths fortify on self feminization.

To say, whatever. Its nobodies business. The b) sense in counterstance to a) were to revolve around regarding me as a person. To get really specific, so beyond 'dehumanization' there comes 'depersonalization', which meant that such an individual were not to be regarded as 'person'. So, 'legally' nothing that normally applies onto a person applied to such something. So the question became: is/(can be) depersonalization a thing?

So, saying: regarding me as a person meant I had a social life of sort and could do things on my own accord; Within given restraints; Where I however yet might "demand" (on personal rights): a computer. Like so, an animals need. On the other side, if a) can't work - this were where we ended.

So, am I only delaying the inevitable - by finding "excuses" to those limits by ... ignoring certain warnings, maybe? Well ... if not, then beyond this - in a sense of utmost depravity - I had to be a doll. So, pushing forward instead of backward - being a doll came ... at some point. Could there be something beyond being depersonalized? Could I take its initial ties as an anchor - then it belonged into to B. So, beyond that there were one more stretch - where as Doll, I would further get mentally programmed to be something desirable. That being at any rate a true thing inside of me - leaves me to suggest that a) is to be focussed on.

By "becoming" desirable I meant - "better than nothing" ... potentially. I'm so not only without personal rights; But even without rights of identity. So, inside of my head. I have no right even to alter my wanting - and I'm set to self-rape; In a passive sense. Hmmm ... and 'actively'? Prolonging my suffering and demise.

Cool thing: There are certain things I have dreamt up from my male self - invoking women - where now those female figures appear as imprinted onto me; Thus, locking me into my own fantasies. Neat!

OK, so - bottom line: So, the 'no right of identity' - in this way it came down from 'dehumanization' ... but could those two now come independent of each other? I mean, its back to "private 'vs' public". What is 'to be' private - and what not? I'd say - it depended on our lifestyle. And if 'we' had a reason to 'hide' anything from you - but we yet 'made' it public within because that were our cultural veins, ... then that were yet public.

Giving me any 'outside privileges' - well, at some point we couldn't help it; Like in some fantasy adventure where 'stranger' meets 'hero who decides to help'; And then some refugee action elsewhere maybe - to at some point suggest calling it 'rude' - in some way too. Its like, the culture is supposed to be 'outsidestest' thing, "what is it the systems to interfere?".

So, to find a way around this: Having 'withdrawal of identity rights' without 'withdrawal of personal rights' - we spoke of another thing. So sure, one might still function as person, despite a lack of identity rights. So, when the two come together, lets speak of ... ???
OK - no. Each thing its own thing. OK.

Anyhow - once no longer recognized as person, there is the one side that enjoys humiliating me by "making me" all sorts of things; Most prominently a 'vacuum (cleaner)' a.k.a. 'for cum' - cumbucket or ... yea, dump. Withdrawal of identity means that I finally have no choices about my alignment to those things; Where the more fundamental things to me are how these alignments affect me.


Handling this

And yes - it is insanity. Each time anew. And ever and ever again. And I keep - rejecting it. We might say that there is something I 'sense' - that is wrong with this, but looking closely, I rather sense the opposite. As for me to go forward - I however seem to always need yet another reason ... or way of thought ... to cement that.

And, as for going forward - I get notified: The extent to which I can 'present' myself in the end depends on the context I describe myself within. So far so clear: I take a 'maximum potential' approach, or ... like/want to. Now however - I needed to look at it differently.

So, for what goes "outside forward" - lets just 'claim' that I forever will be able to continue on my programs and creating stuff. Taking time away from me - that to me were first of all dependent on how you could comfort me in that - I seriously believe. So - in the end; What does this say? Well, not too much. I can at the very least however 'mark' three potential individuals where a computer screen was part of the manifestations; In regards to Megan Fox that was even a real dream. Or "even". Well.

There were other things in that dream too ... just saying. Like Will Tanner from Alf. And maybe Alf too - I don't know exactly.

Anyhow. Thats beside the point.

On another straight line: 'If' this ... 'hellhole' became a real thing; Like - whether I became a part of it or not - ..., why wouldn't I want to be a part of it? I certainly would want to become a part of it.

So, 'what' should it look like?

Hmmm ...

So, I think, first of all we needed a Cleric Body of the Church of Satan. Thereto we would need one building and thereto setup a 'studio' - like a stage. Here what I feel important on me is that I on that base 'existed' as 'their property', so, in essence - being locked away or 'used'. So in principle at least. Lets say it were an even field - a neutral round about with everyone being about the same. On this stage now however, my 'public life' mattered; And on a simpler note could we assemble all sexually interested perverts of satanism at some point; And in that sense what mattered were a sadistic consensus about 'what to do with me'.

I feel I were to be humiliated - but, as there is an organic part I guess, I kindof feel like, its meaningless to write about it.

So, at first somehow that came together; The church sanctified the Academy; Both might/would have an Ekklesiastic body; The Academy thereby closer tied to the Ekklesia than the Churches - and speaking of some Maximum load - I would come in at some point where there is already some mostest - and I'd surely be a leastest. Now it effectively mattered how God wanted me to operate in that reality; As of which there are a couple of positions depending on place and associates.

Now, 'whome' I'd were with at first - thats not to be seen I think. Anyone might pick me up - and in this sense it were left to assume that they had to take me as I had to be. So, if the 'firsts' were "inappropriate" - there were something of an 'anomaly of the force' that made it so that we'd live in alignment to that, rather than going too far into the independent direction.

But, counting up the horrors - well. Cutting off my fingers, experimenting with Plastic Surgery and Body Enhancements, ... well, the point to me is a feeling I get from it. No doubt. And arguing from the 'emotional tensions' position; All the 'death craving' I had - those feelings wouldn't matter too much other than being part of my mindset.

But yea, what do I want to be? I mean - I'm chasing a ... dream maybe. But - OK, so far ... good enough. I can go on into the extreme; More easily now. Kindof?

Well, maybe not. So, had I to be outside - what should nonetheless be there? In my oppinion? From an outside perspective. Well - ... ideologically we had to first speak of the "Satanic Culture" - where for further destinguishment we get to 'Cults' that surround 'me' and thereby 'separate' all things about that from the 'bulk' of what Satanism matters alike in general. This would extend into Branches - where now Churches that are 'recognized' as a part of the whole have their own satanistic privileges and rights. So, each satanistic church would get the right to keep Sex Slaves - while from the 'top side' there were some 'feedback', basically tieing local issues into the whole as it mattered. Like, the Academy connects to the church and whatever education we had from there were to find itself into all of its branches. So, to be sure - each 'Slave' required a Passport with a valid "something" in it that certified the Slaves status; Or - to which extend the Slave is enslaved. There we go on to say: There are no Slaves in Zion; Which means that the only way we 'recognize' the validity of the term 'Slave' - as label on one of ours - were within the demands of the individual. So, Slavery in the 'nono' way were to capture a human being and make with it as we wanted. As for instance to force it to some kind of labour.
The condition with 'clarity' were that it is the type of work the individual would enjoy most - as some kind of social duty; Maybe ... but ... I think this is too harsh.

Now, the situation in the passport however were not a question of skill. So is clarity not about skill. It is a 'seal of approval' - by God - ... which is a definition that works because it fits the bill and doesn't take it anywhere else.

When it got to serious issues, about skill, we had something else. Lets call it "portfolio".

For here I "would have" said that I for instance "claim" Software Engineering as one of my "things" - without any skill value - but then therein certificates of my actual skill. Which I haven't yet because this System I live in doesn't work that way.

Instead of "Graduated From with Score so and such" - one had there a more precise mhm and aha experience.

We maybe had to find a rule, that any 'healthy' individual had something like 'three things' - and each of those things had to tie into some 'primary school' field of eduation. Now, how do 'Child Slaves' fit into this? We might say that each child-slave thus 'had to' ... and well. Can that be the case? We had a rather restrictive and specifically sadistic definition of 'something' - and here a 'solid' frame to 'recognize' it.

So - for 'lifes sake' - and for knowledge and truth - we want to have some 'high level' insight of how what when why and such. So, back and forth - I do have primary school education; And 'each' Child that we at first had to carefully observe needed it. At that point we wouldn't set in the 'extremist' sense, but we would 'recognize' the potentials - as first of all a draft towards sexuality. We want to then be ready to take a child 'closer' to the things we see it is drawn to. So, if a child makes notion of wanting boobs, or getting pregnant; Like me - things like that - we would draw it closer to experiencing that reality. Whatever toys it enjoyed the most would go in as 'standard birthday present' - and another thing were 'what outfit' I finally homed in on; Which so would make up a 'base' of my wardrobe; Plus, with all that given I'd be inclined to fantasize, drawing stuff and or such; And sooner rather than later we might find ourselves willing to let them see Hentai Porn.

We might at some point have to then anticipate their sexual interest. In my lifetime that went from ... 'kinks' ... like enjoying playing the pregnant woman ... over into puberty; And clearly I had a strong attraction towards BDSM since ... even before I could fathom its concept. So, here ... we are 'now' clueless and stunned - for at which point would we be willing to ... take a step?
Well - as 'loving parents' would go, they would start to slowly introduce them to the concept - and whatever came of that had to be taken as a thing. So, lets call that 'Generation 1'. Once Generation 1 is old enough - we have an 'archaic culture' - to which I were one of the 'ancients'. So, I'm not a part to it, but based on my own reality I've been working towards it. Once Generation 1 is old enough, we also have a stronger idea of where tendencies go - and while that were certainly a process, we would at another point still uphold the 'primary school' value - to so get everything smoothened out to a 'high end' type of common sense.

Uhm, ... well. "Boxes". We cannot go too far into what the future will bring - yet now, we have the "dirty" side still - we might also say 'the roots'. So, regarding the culture as something that had been around since ages - well, it is either way, ... well ... a decendant of certain things. OK.
So - here we had the churches claim - and I would propose something like a dice. So to determine - of these 'our' slaves, what had to await them - and this at various stages of their lives. So - we can on the one side maintain our interests 'perfectly' - logically - and on a six sided dice, it would make sense to say '6' = jackpot, a.k.a. "critical hit" for 'freedom' - and '1' respectively were 'critical hit' for captivity.

Settling on a chance of 50:50 - could 1-3 pretty much be the same, while 4-6 were about different degrees of 'compliance' - which we had although otherwise perfectly maintaining our interests. So, because I were a slave like that, that would also apply onto me and a dice would determine which way I had to go.

Where, I'm "assumed" to be a 4-6 initially, because I do have education, ... where now it were about, OK, "what if?". So, on a 1, I wouldn't get 'any' of 'anything' 'but' - saying, perfect fuckery. So, in the sense were there a 'habit' of going on that way; ... and yea, we could so then put the dice-roll into the passport as well.

Now, on the 1-3 side of things; One of the primary foci were on Death Rape. These Children are to be treated as 'sacrifices' - I think - well, we'll figure it out. However - some of them had the fate of becoming whores. And we said 'Death' to find some 'end' to it.
Children on the 4-6 side would eventually come to the same end; Saying - if we had a 1-3 child, lets say on 3, to say: To be 'servicable' - and we so 'grew' her with love and care to get to that point - even some 'internal version' of school - the difference to 4 ... well, that should at least be something of interest.

Now, so - a pregnant mother came to get her child "fated". She came to her branch and they had to either 'include' or 'exclude' it. An exclusion would lead onward - and that then also became a journey to the parents. Lets be real here. So, any slave of satan who were pregnant with another slave of satan - there first were a dice on the mother - and then one on the child. Maybe. However. However it then rolled for the child; There were now different entities there to take on at a given score.
For a roll of '1' - well, I think of something as a Movie Set BDSM studio - and the Baby were introduced to pedophiles that are certified to access those kids. The first target were to grow them towards an age of 6. Where those that then roll larger than 3 are 'released' - and those that roll a 1 can be kept indefinitely as subject to death rape.

2 is basically, I guess, a 'limit', to say that 1 is basically just that which comes thereafter. The intention with 2 is to so be more careful than at 1 - focussing on an exploit at higher ages - as to then also 'simplify' the 'contextual' 'ideal' of what a 'Queens Garden Whore' were all about. 1s are there for the more extreme tastes - and 3s ... well, some sort of special treatment.

So, how to manage that?

Well, taking it slowly - we had at first: 4 rings, at least. 4 basic ones - and each one grown on a basis of pedophilia. Then, the "Harem of Satan" were its own thing, a bubble, generally featuring all whores of all ages, so also with some certain ties back to the pedophile rings. But this were where its at.

At the basis of it all, we could safely assume that the celebration of some orgy should be one thing to tie a local community together. There I assume 'my' cult mattered because it provided the 'type' of enslavement that the 'spectacle' would revolve around - and putting it into a bigger building; There were plenty of bedrooms to fill - eventually. So - what at first were an exclusive orgy then turned into an exclusive location - and towards being a whore there were two backstage entrances. One to connect to the outside, and one for the inner things.

Aside of that - well, lets add some stuff to the Academy. Well, we need to want some 'nervous center' where we summarize and maintain. We had a black wall somewhere with events to feature, tied into different locations, ... and those should reflect our cultural veins.
So, to start the Academy - I "start" as a Slave. Lets thereby just keep that as labels. 'Slave' at this point is the 'top curiosity' I guess. So, the thing within everything that hops out at the top.

So - first; Every new member were welcome. We so had a room at first - at our disposal - and eventually we might get to fill it somehow. We can also different. We can start with a 'common' lecture of some kind - which may would should imply every possibly branch of the thing at some point, while 'between' those lectures mostly gathering in 'contemporary' groups - as first of all a 'scoping' of what kinds of interests are being present; Plus further ways to maybe help navigating.

"Black and Pink (Salmon)" - 'Amaterasus Pit of Depravation'. A.k.a. "Shithole" - a.k.a. ... the science of stuffing (shitslave nurturing). One point being: How much shit and stuff can a slave take on how much 'good' food. Maybe try: Fruit Diet.

Anyhow. In the beginning we might have no clarity whatsoever - yet all we had were those that serve and those that consume; To say: that were a moment for a community to have a first gang bang on slaves. Or for a slave to have its first public event. So, if a husband had to say farewell to his wife - that were also, a way to start.

So, starting with the simplest; We could also get to some idea of, well, how much joy now either side had of it in hindsight. So, if I had rolled a 4 or higher; I would thereafter return to a more independent life; While on a 3 or less I'd be kept in custody, while on a 1 there would be 'much more' - at least to be - in the aftermath.

Now - one 'joy' were to say: OK, the event is over, but for the night my doors are open to anyone. So, in a sense like: The doors are 'left' open - me being exposed - and here the 'sadism' to just 'satisfy' that moment were the driving factor.

Nothing too fancy. Basically.

Color-Code: Red. Lets say: "Red: 'force of sadism'". So, that implies 'everyone' who 'holds' a sadistic motivation. This were something that had to be clarified somehow - and "the Red Claim" is now always an 'independent claim' Satanists have on a Slave. So, on "red slaves". I mean - obviously, one can be part of multiple things. Should be able to.

So, here is where the Sadistic vein of the Church can 'distribute' the slaves it has access to into a schedule or something. Whatever.

Purple were an interest in prostitution without sadistic claims, yet still founded on a slaves submission, humiliation, deprivation and such.

... And Dark Red were ... 'fatal rape'. ... Err - or whatever. Or ... but OK.

So, one way to think about it further is to think about 'rooms'. In the center we had some metaphorical circle with a "totem" resembling a 'torture queen' - and the idea were that here those would 'live' that had a real strong need for that. So, here the culture where the most hardcore of all things would thrive. But lets just keep it a symbolical thing. As around that we now had rooms dedicated to that. So, taking it simply as a virtual idea - there were now differently themed rooms; And Priestesses would be maintaining these spaces. That in my sense were 'the Order/Cult of Nyx' - primary Color: Purple - as the 'dominant' vein of whores - and these rooms however all had a handle of death.

We then had a circle around that; And thats I guess where we would start. In the idea of, "in case" we go no further.

So, on the one side saying: rolling a dice, meant, 3 and less is - well - like, disappearance. We have no 'obligation' to any outside interest. The differentiation between 1 and 3 were simply a matter of internal interests.

For there we then had 'public Prisoners' - and those would basically be 'chosen' to be our superstars - or a window for ... everyone interested.


So, what it took were an evolution from 'passive' growth into 'active' growth. So, from 'realizing' what the own faibles are about into 'living' them. And so I end up formulating realities based on what I see myself a part of.

Maybe now its valid for me that I by default cannot be part of the 4 and greater club. That would co-incide with the fact that I have no certificate for any of my skills.

Well, so, I'd be a 3. A solid 3.

So, whats up with the 3s. Well - the one idea is that while their ideal were 2, the 'freedom' had to be countered with some more hardcore event. So, each 3 would either go down a 'preserved whore' road, or get snuffed away.


Next on the scene we had prisons. These were then places, dungeons, with various 'cells' and social spaces. So, an ambition to expand on the captivity parts ... eh - ... hmmm.

Yea ... well. Lets also say, only if the dice is between, including 2 and 5 - there's a re-roll at 6 with exactly the same implications. Here - at the bottom of it all - I think "death marathons" will be the ... most important issue.
So, we want to draw a line/ring somewhere - beyond which an individual is 'doomed'. So, first a sadistic community has to want it to be, to then create their sadistic hellhole paradise, ... and possibly starting within individual/domestic care, each 'projected' "death slave" would become a central focus of experience.

Now, the issue with the passport now were first a matter of my identity - and well. If I were an automatic one - then it were 'consolidated' that we 'had' our interests 'perfectly' satisfied. So, for as long as this rule could persist; I then were always ... a 1. Or maybe 2. 2 at most.

OK, maybe not. Maybe my dice is different. Maybe my 3 is a 6. And that only to break even with the 3 experience.

The way interests now factor in; Well - my 'clarity' pins me into Queens Garden; And from there into Academy and into the Satanstic Church - to say, based on the Red Claim my time could be distributed into a scheme of prostitution, based on my status. So - the 'sadistic community' would gather 'beyond' the public events in the core of which an independent culture drives certain activities based on privileges granted to them. Its in a sense 'self interest' ("financial") driven, but also sponsored.
So were at the base a 'realization' of "the 1 roll" - and my existence were a guaranteed "1" to start with. So, building a dungeon were to right away involve me; Such as granted "growing spot" - but yea, 1 might rather mean "1-3".

Now, there first is the "Queens Garden" or equivalent side - which in my case has 'marital posession' upon me, within prostitution. So - at some point in me I'm "married into prostitution" - making the 7 days, well, exactly that. And with that say a day worth of time. So here the 'core community' that revolves around me has a free go on me; Basically. So - this could as well be me in a 'glass cabinet' - isolated from everything but sex; Put to serve during certain times. So, at the 'basics' of Prostitution as present in the Satanistic Churches. With an intimate contact now comes another meaning of 7 days, plus another day time of ... stuff.

Here, in the end - things follow a high priority. So, the one with the highest ranking rights upon me has the highest ranking authority upon me. She at that had potentially the 'right' to 'outrule the dice' - while taking me in for whatever the hell she had on mind. As within me, so within anyone else involved, there should however be a present idea of the order in which way things function. So it is at first, kindof, established that I am also slave to someone else, thus bonded into Queens Garden, ... which depending on my evolution can also work as the 'reality imposed onto my male consciousness'. The point is simply that on this logic there is the 'reality' of me as fitted into the "Red Claim" - or whatever next to that. Within or intertwined - whatever.

Well, it is important to note that my programming/creativity is something I can't bring myself up against. But, there is some but to it nonetheless.

Yet still - ... uh, well OK, lets talk about my Independent Self, which by definition cannot be captive. Well, it 'can be', by definition captive - so, as roaming around within Captivity - yet from this instance, projecting all potentials of freedom into it.

Now, that were part of me and part of what people loved in me. And I think for what is coming, if 'this spot' were an image, I'd first of all had to subject into captivity; So until I have properly digested my role as slave - as to so also 'burn' the insignia of captivity into this picture.


Well - on another note. These ... 3 Month of Rape ... I ... love the idea. I however have a problem and the "spot" where it gets rough is ... between demand and ... "the work"; Where I feel like I don't have to worry ... and this is so on the ... maximum loadout 'plus' side of things.

Anyhow. So, for there to be Sex Slaves of my kind, there will have to be Queens Garden as an at least "projected" 'definite space' of captivity. This so for me and my kind verified as 'origin' - at which point the 'guardians of Queens Garden' - well, had free reign upon what we became.
That is to say that there should at some point be the 'Academy "Front"' - 'those Acolytes' - where purple is now I guess the color of my "Quarters" within Baphomets 'enchantment'. So - I as what I was 'moved in'to that situation - and these Acolates are as my Garments ... in a sense that they are the Priesthood surrounding my Captivity - ... so on and so forth.

In a fancy sense, if I were to be 'honored' for some reason; Those would be my Servants as were Baphomet. So - for a ceremonial snapshot? Maybe not! This is fancy, but ... practically the polar opposite to my 'real self'.

But what is then 'hell torment' ... in a way that is finally 'desirable' to the Slave?

I now would dare say that one of the most important things about enslavement (not slavery) is that there is some dominant power; And that can come in a variety of ways. A dedicated domina could do various things; A community might opposed to that not do much but keep the Slave captive - but that then also goes with the 'exploit'; Which can also be executed as enslavement.

So well. Then, we had different groups emerge; And of those some were elected to take charge of it; Or chosen. Those chosen would now be in charge of whatever 'physical ends' were met; Which all came together in a council to the Academy; As the 'Academy side' of the interest group. So - over time.

In the meantime, the Academy is focussed around its own 'harem'. So, from 1-6, basically - somehow. Or not? Well - now there were on the other end a 'clear' foundation to certain practices - and forth from that independent interactions such as between pimp and whore to cooperatively move forward.

Here I were to a classical whore as a foundation. Me being a slave to them; Where 'those' Whores were on eye-level with other humans to some extent at least; And my likes being the 'effective stock' that 'these' dominant whores "use in their stead".

So, here the whores determine the status of their own. Hellfire Nunns are those 'within' the 'death loop' and Night Mares are those 'supressed by/beneath' them. So, if there's a deeper rank; ... well ... I forgot its name. Death ..., Dark, ... Scare, Shade, ... Mother, ... - ... hmm.

Anyway. From the start my Vagina is to me the most important thing - as including that I expose it and stay fuckable. To present it in a way that makes people want to fuck it. Hidden between the lines as echoed from the past is that I had to find comfort in my inability to 'enjoy' it - so that I find the joy within the resulting rape. Whether my mind is 'free' or 'not' - so, whatever my mind 'defaults' to is 'the norm' for me. And on some level were that factor to an intimate synergy. So, outside of public events ... well, is there such a thing?

I mean - private events would/should at some point have an open spot for outsiders as well. "Any number of" - I guess.

Hmm - ... goes to far?

Queens Garden ... well. How about Pedophilia in general? How about incest? If Parents were concerned - things might get established that dabble in these things without right away being Satanistic. I guess. Though when it got to incest - marriages between parent and child or siblings, cousins, relatives - even in groups; That ... were I think pretty much ... something satanistic. Maybe not as deep as me; Not even within reaches of Prostitution; But certainly some Kink I'm sure.
Now, there may be that Idol. A Mother showering in cum; Exposing her child to sexual abuse. So, there had to be that Mother ... if it isn't both myself. ... whate... hhm...

Yes, exactly! Just like that. Have something like a table with all different groups - and try to cater me to each and every one of them; On basis of extended abuse on base of extended demand.

By the time I got into it, I should get my 'first' degree ... meaning something - up to a point where ... maybe that be it, some 3 month 'marathon' were to make me the 'worse' I could be. Well, is that lazy?

I should be grown comfortably into a feminine, shame-exposing outfit - so I could pretty much be kept around like a poodle. That so on the gentle side I'm coursely to be comforted in my sluttiest comfort; Thats just ... one thing I get out of it. However you humiliated were basically irrelevant to me - and well, I shouldn't be ashamed of following orders like a dog; Just as behaving like a dog. By then I should also have been through "hell" - ... well, you know. Then some more time were to be allocated - and I'd have to agree, maybe - ... or one could ommit that; And simply take me away. It would technically be the same, but virtually it means two totally different things. By the end of my lifetime I sure would love to be just a stub. So, starting with the fingers, then my hands, them my lower arm, ellbow, upper arm; Shoulders - as maybe the last birthdays of my life. So, after shoulders its ... the end. Supposing that the lower parts of the body are at in about the same stage.

So, the 7th year? And for the legs? Well, feet with the hands - knee with the ellbow, ... and hip joints with the shoulders?

I would love to have my jaw dislocated to be able to open my mouth wider - ... and ... maybe some hack to flush my system - as by nourishing me intravineously or so. Well - if likely.

Well - I mean, depending on how the demand shifts and switches; ... there were one way to take the feminization kinks to some point - alongwith rape. So also the 'dollification kinks'. Here the focus is on 'durability'. In the end I would love very well to end up as a freak show every once in a while.

I think though, so far, the 'Baphomets Daughter' approach rocks the most. So, the idea should be clear. Baphomets Daughter, captive, used as Sex Slave - to a religious pride/boasting. So also in the form of a prostitute that is ... in Love with being sinned against.

For me - I think I have to make space for it. If I roll a 1 - that means that, beating me up - just violence, is also in the picture. Make that a 2 and 4 - where 1 and 2 simply ... well, ... 1 were to say that I should be fucked to death with no 'break'. You'd start to take me apart as soon as I'd be close to death anyway. Sortof.

Well - so, ... Orgies took place in a hall which were semi-public; At a certain time. Attached to that hall were places 'inhabited' basically 24/7 - and become part of the orgy itself. Otherwise that space would simply ... continue to be an orgy?

I, in the deepest sense, had to be taken as a ... Sacrifice 'to' the Light, maybe. But so in a sense that I'm different - and making me suffer were everybodies favourite thing. ... hmm ... well ... satanists ... .

Within the second Marathon I would want to be there where I couldn't any longer; Being Desperate for a break - to then get 'extra special treatment' - to say, first doing as by procedure - forwarding the show - to then fade out into a final stretch by which I'm supposed to expose the symptoms of actually flourishing in that situation; And enjoying it.

Mayhap that had to happen within the first 3 month/weeks already.

To sooner the better.

1: Focus on Feminization
2: Focus on Sadism


I ... sortof dislike the idea of making any ... gestures towards any option other than "the one".

So - that sortof implied, at any rate, to first of all find the sweet-spot; And to then 'maintain' my doll identity.

Well, at some point we might/would get some Cannibalistic community going - say, fests - for which cattle could be stocked up; Well ... we'll see.

Oh hot damn. I get to dream in ... like with pink hearts in my eyes ... about all the ... fun ... I would have there as a meal. Yea, well. I love my husband - and he needs to be really ... really sadistic in his love upon me. Where the idea of being violently torn into my obligations - thats ... the creaming on top; Or the cherry?

But yea, each in its due time. For now I'm less bragged with/about - but basically ... given as an objective. The 'independent' woman you'd want to grow; Would grow up as a humiliated pet - where the juice of my independence were to go into my voluntary alignment (... into toilet slavery).
And the therefore subsequent abuse.


The cage were to represent the 'zone' were ordinary people wouldn't want to be. Perfectly entrapped - and raped against all of their hopes and wishes [...].

- The end -