FROM CHAOS (into) OORDER (Raw Version)

---

about THE BEGINNING OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

---

1. TOHU WA-BOHU

---

I just watched an interesting Video - which should be easy to find. Search on YouTube for deGrasse Tyson, Isaac Asimov Memorial Discussion on Nothing. Right now I'm still missing out on the 'Words' part of the Foundation to Everything - but anyway - things happen and I have to move on. Things happening is mostly referring to stuff on my mind, internally, which means - process, ... along the lines of time wasted if I don't write this rather than first making that any better. Well ...

That show is about 2 hours long - but in this article the major over-arching plot is to get to the ... we might call it intersection between Eternity and Nothing - and so all the many Vsauce videos on infinity and related should also be somewhat interesting. There's certainly stuff I didn't post that I should or would; But - I guess if you find the time you can click yourself through this and that and well .... there is a lot in general - general stuff that in hindsight reveals the truth of God. Even so this discussion on nothing. You see people, probably defending an Atheistic position, explaining what I would (if I could do it so well) to defend a Theological position. But, I believe Tyson wouldn't resist the idea that this is right - if God exists - because they're scientists!



A - The idea of Nothing

I don't wanna set myself apart from the Science/I-don't-have-ALL-the-Answers club - and I have another article in the making where I want to adress some of the Destiny/VideoGames/Art things - because wrongness. There is always a chance for being wrong, especially in my line of work where the most 'work' thats effectively done is vastly work of the mind - not with the ambition to postulate the un-answerable questions, but to provide the unquestionable answers. Uh ... yea - if you can't relate to it, just ignore it, as rule of the thumb.
So I'm gonna throw in my few cents on the topic of Nothing.

As far as the scientific discussion is concerned - the Scientific Nothing that can be comprehended within the fabric of Existence is equal to Eternity. We can see the similarity. We can't understand it. As much as Eternity eludes our senses, so much does Nothing do! To start understanding nothing as something managable we need something to be there for some reason. Even if there is a possibility for stuff to come out of nothing as the one guy repeats repeatedly, there has to be some 'Logic' - some "root" - to basically add sense to the senselessness. Lets call it "the Demand". I'm sure that this is in some sense familiar to these and those, while some leaned more towards it than others, but 'the Demand' ... well. There is the concept of Creation from Nothing in that 'Zero' is the root of everything. So - zero holds potential for everything in that 1 and -1 add up to zero but essentially establish something. But that 0 'splits' into positive and negative is 'the Demand'.


The closest I get to the nothing of Creation - and I'll accept the suggested translation of Tohu waBohu that goes: Chaos and Void (wa is the hebrew 'And', and the line is actually not supposed to be there (its wabohu)) - is my personal Big Bang theory.



B - My Big Bang ... Vision

Imagine a dough of Light, or, a blob of Light - specifically. Focus on creating an imaginative space wherein you focus on that piece of dough. There you have the black surrounding it - in your mind - and that dough in the center. Now you can use your imaginative hands and push force, energy, into that dough to make it wobble. Starting here - Gods creation is different to what we can achieve. This wobbling dough - we only have a 'mangled' perception of it. We have a hard time measuring its height, width and depth - 'per "frame"' - we have a hard time getting detailed data of how much energy we have where to make it wobble - so - in simple: We're missing all the numbers and a transparent log of them over time.

My Vision started with a perceptive "Bang" in my head. Yea, I probably smoked too much weed - ganja - but it was really impactful. And that sense of Force then accumulated into that image of the dough. It first wobbled a little, then a bit more, and it perpetuated its wobbling until it was really fast and strong and some threshhold was reached that made the dough explode.
This is a very fundamental concept to this theory. I'd call it "the baking of constants". Imagine it like an artists work. You don't establish the exact numbers to get to the desired result, you extract the numbers 'from' the desired result. So this initial wobbling was only there to set - something - and it is my suggestion that it is the Ki energy - as suggesting that Ki is a more fundamental element of our Physical Universe as the standard Model of particles.
But - thats actually not totally relevant. What however happened after this explosion is that something like particles blew into all directions while my mind however was only focussing on one - it followed its path until it eventually returned, being attracted back to its origin where now all the - "particles" - massed up in some gravity-esque fashion. This then ball of practically fire or something grew denser and denser, entering another cooking phase that continued until the particles were 'pushed' ... 'forced' into a 'solid state' - solid by some definition - pictured like "walls" of solid mass emerging within the chaotic turmoil - and since practically in concurrence with the chaos around ultimately also decaying, however then so exploding into space as we know it.


To some extent this is what we can from now on read into the words "Let there be Light" - arguing that this basically wraps up the beginnings to the points of stars being born, forming into Galaxies. Note: It wasn't a vision that 'said' anything and I'm almost certain that the final result was partially influenced by my own understanding of what was going on - but I believe there is some truth to it. Its however ... at any rate a figure to explain 'some how' - at first concluding Energy, then Gravity; And finally a reasonable idea of matter in spacetime.



C - 6 Days

Before I get back to nothing - what I intend to provide you with here is bestly put as a matter of abstraction. Ultimately I don't care about the accuracy of those things because ... well ... its the results that matter - and what we deduce from these results is mostly what God has given us to realize the truth of our existence; Or ... this existence at least, rawly.

On the second day God created "the Dome". We read of waters being split - and to get a better idea of how space equals to Water in some way, search for images of Galaxies and you'll notice that the "eye" - the big recognizable "void center" has a radius of in about 1/8 of the width of the "disk" surrounding that void. We might also call it the bent space-time; Which is anyway ... thanks to recent discoveries we know of Gravity Waves. Well, that should do the trick.
So - we now essentially have physical processes that make stars collapse and planets born from stardust that can obtain an Atmosphere as all the Elements we need are now in place.

On the third day we can start to speak about ... what we may have imagined to begin with, deducing from our current modern-day perspective; Though, I think of it as "water" that now 'clumps up' forming the earth underneath it - thus actually creating Elements to speak of. And perhaps thats why Water behaves differently to temperature than all the other Elements.
Anyway - as God also created Plants on this day - we have to assume, based on this model, that the realm was complex enough to basically function to the extent we know - almost.

On the fourth day we maybe have to read: The Lights "I created" (<- thats 'my addition to it') shall have the purpose of separating Night from Day; So ... before that they were just there and though we might speak of Atmosphere, it didn't have the properties that causes it to be blue during daytime. Neither really a "where" or - a definite Solar System - which is now, well, that there is a Universe with Laws of Physics, God could venture on to creating the actual Planet: Earth; With its Moon and the Sun and some recognizable constellations of Stars - or perhaps Star here actually refers to Planets.

On the fifth day God created Fish and Birds - which all so had something to eat - and its all been dandy, as usual.

On the sixth day God created Mammals - or Land-based animals - as finally mankind; Which was simply the plan all along; So, He probably had the design ready already and these considerations went into everything thus far - and so the story basically closes with man now being there - which is so adequately described by the para-quote: "Now, go and do ... whatever!". The focus on multiplying is probably ... just say that its ... the most basic principality of Life in this realm, like "You're gonna be here for some time, so ... "enjoy"" - or ... well, yea ... its a bit like Minecraft without having a clue of what you're supposed to do! Eventually you'll chop down a tree and realize that you can build a hut and all that.



D - Why?

Well - deGrasse Tyson has this weird idea he calls "Stupid Design" (as opposed to: intelligent design) - and yea, its a thing! The Human Body is only 'semi intelligent' when it gets to living in this Universe - and as often pointed out: Everything is out to kill us. I guess I don't have to retell the story of how Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden though. I mean, we could stop there and point out that yea, planting that tree in Eden was the perhaps most stupidest idea of them all.

But so I like to separate the Bible into 3 practical meta-Volumes: What 'was', what "is", and what will be. The story of interest to us literally begins 'after' they got kicked out because there was no way we wouldn't have been kicked out sooner or later; And if neither Adam or Eve would have done that, it would have been done by someone else - lets blame social dynamics or the infamous 'why' question.
The point is, all this isn't quite actually how it all began! Mormons call that true beginning: The pre-terrestrial Life.
It sounds quite brain=washy to just say: We've learned all that we could and so we were sent onto earth to learn more - but its not all that strange considering all the stories we hear of people that just can't stand it at home and therefore they leave, standing on their own; Taking risks to venture out, become someone - its here where this realm 'shines', all political bullshit ignored, in that its vastness is inspiring. Be it just a desire to gain distance to the other folks we don't feel like we fit in with; Or just curiosity for what is beyond that mountain.

But more over - this realm is the effective realization of a structured world that ties us to limits. Limits that allow us to explore - exploration on the premises of an environment that can change - but all due to logical reasons; There is always 'the finite', to say: We're bound to consequences. The consequence of exploration is discovery, discovery holds the consequence of developments. We can also 'settle down' - though we're not necessarily safe - and so build an existence which is vastly what we were, as race, focussing on ... well ... for the most part. It allows us ... I mean, we need some social environment to follow our mating interests for once - and culture really kicks in as a systemization of our survival; Where we might say that Religion is simply an evidence of the evolution beyond those basic needs into ... well ... the luxuries of philosophical thinking.

Ultimately nobody is truely surprised that mankind, after Babel, really grew away from caring too much about the Divine. Religion was usually just a matter of National identity - and we shouldn't be surprised that those Religions that influenced our modern times the most are those that speak of the ... higher values than just Bloodshed. Egyptian religion is odd to us today - Hindu religion has a lot in common with the Hebrew religion; Well, in our modern society we would however mostly account for the Norse, Greek and Hebrew religions - speaking of Valor, Wisdom and ... Enlightenment.
Hebrew stuff is however ... different. So ... I guess by modern standards we'd rather name Buddhism/Daoism as those to take the spot of Enlightenment; And yea - that because the Abrahamite religions were abused throughout the History ... for well ... whatever.
Not too much good - since well ... thats ... why we call it 'abuse'.

And with the Dao we're back at ... Nothing, or Eternity ... that which is by nature incomprehensive to us.

And that seems to be a big part of the plot. I mean - Jesus was somewhat explicit to his desciples that they don't make too big a deal out of Christ being the Messiah - its what we get from the concept of God trying to blend in while not being around bodily all the time and making the best of His time on this planet. Kindof. Its easy to see the Abrahamite religion as something like a Stealth Religion though - which is also somehow expressed within the acknowledgements of hypocrites being a thing. They are there, every now and again they get proven wrong, but essentially nobody really cares enough. Its basically the Story of the Nephilim part 2 - the idea of giving tools into the hands of those that mean wrong to do wrong!

And why would God want that?


Well - why not? Considering that this whole Universe was kindof created with all the negative consequences in mind? Though, the whole "war brings us together" philosophy - well - we don't need war! We have a hostile enough planet to do that!
Yet so, we're ultimately conflicted about 'the Bad seed' among us - and though we want to wonder how to get rid of them - we also kindof don't. And so there are those that rather blame God than them; Issuing that very essence of the 'true conflict' - that of God making bad guys for some reason.
And Gods best defense is Isaiah 40+41?
Well no - it is: "that Guy" - "Israel" or "Jacob" - who will then at some point come and set the record straight!


And I kindof feel obliged to do that! And as in the previous writing I want to refer to some pieces from the Nag Hammadi Codices for supplement. The first Scripture I have on mind is called: "The Hypostasis of the Archons". Actually it was my 'go to' thing for deepening the matters of Zion; But you have to therefore read 'deep/far' beyond the written - uhm - between the lines. As you can start off - you might think this 'Blind Ruler' (Archon=Ruler) is the bad guy; But - if you try to detach the understanding of this scripture from being specifically about someone, this 'Highest Ruler' (Samael) is practically the highest Governmental instance; But it is naturally blind. His Mother, Pistis Sophia, that is the good intent, the wisdom of rulership, we might even compare "her" to Athena. And so ... the first time I was at it from this angle I had to stop - totally not understanding how to 'fill' this Blind Spot; Noticing that is where 'the One' comes into play - though - I had no concept for 'un-blindly' naming who that could be!

I mean - yea - I can say: Since I feel obliged to "be" Israel I am ... but in total truth, or wisdom rather, there is no tangible realness to that, so its got to be "I might be".
You might figure that these rulers that have a female body somehow resemble Baphomet - and following the etymology of the word 'Elohim' we have a more official recognition of gender aspects. Elohim is the female word for God, put into a male plural. To me the female aspect is usually introverted, as in 'watching upon' - as motherly love and care for instance - whereas male is executive.
And so there are Adam and Eve, in this particular text, which you might for some time read like an analogy of what happened in terms of Adam being me for instance; Though its more likely that Adam is to resemble mankind that is then abused to allow the Rulers to hold him at peace - abusing Eve to increase their influence, as practical incarnation of Pistis Sophia. Kain and Abel finally are the two offspring - the 'sincere' and the 'hypocrites'; While its notable that both only offered what they themselves were capable of offering. So - its ... an indirect condemnation. Anyway is there finally Seth - the truth-seeker - and Norea - the 'divine concept'.

But why am I telling you this, considering that you've probably heard these things before? Well - this isn't to be as much about that 'divine concept', but about human nature. The Nag-Hammadi codices are full of confusing instances, which 'are' confusing because they 'lack' a context to perceive them in. The First insight for instance is very well explained because the context is introduced very well. "But then" - stuff happens, figures emerge, they do or are whatever ... apparently leaning towards cosmic numbers or instances, but it all has some generally arbitrary tone or feel to it because ... its just Chaos. Following the segment regarding the first insight and what came of it - there is the next segment introducing Yaldabaoth, or Samael or Saklas - and in that segment its at least my perception that the notions of names such as Kain and Abel tear me out of the immersion and give me a reasonably deep impression of Bullshit. This to me goes on until the text (we're back at the Apokryphon of John) mentions the Powers creating 7 Souls (Bones, Muscles, Flesh, Joints, Blood, Skin and "Muscle Skin") - following to which a Body is being created, starting with the Head: Eteraphaope Abron. Though it reads "Eteraphaope Abron created the Head" - I read "Speaking 'Eteraphaope Abron' the Head is created". Eteraphaope Abron here is 'the Word' - so - the accoustic "Key" - labelling the insight that is however not described in that text, however accumulating into the 'Form' that is then recognizable as the Head. I (would/should have) mentioned that earlier (and there I should go deeper into some details about how I got to that, as 'the key' to why this is about that) - but think of it 'spiritually' - as: Now that Eternity has figured its existence - revolving around the Principles and Lights and Aeons - that a more "tangible" idea of existence emerges, self-recognition on a higher scale, thus effectively realizing the wholeness and 'naming it'. We have 'two' words here, two destinct 'sounds', accoustic keys, verbal pronounciations, as the 'uttering' of an idea; As following the desire of making the 'thought' 'more perfect' - so - this feeling once you have a word "on the tip of your tongue" but it won't come out - where, if there isn't an established word you'd have to make one up. So we might translate 'Eteraphaope Abron' even 1:1 into 'Eternally Existent' - and the 'wholesomeness' basically demands the form to be a sphere, kindof. And if you've read the text following the passage of the 12 Aeons you might realize, "well hey, wasn't there something about 'Sophia' and 'the Spirit' disagreeing about the form of what was created?" - so, are we here talking of a perfect sphere or of an actual head-like shape? So, now we however have context!
What I'm getting at, and the architecture of the text somehow elaborates itself - in this frame - as leading towards it, is 'parallel evolution'. So - what we read as a 'one after the other' chain of events has then to be seen as multiple things happening at once, next to each other. Though we may have to speak of a yet 'one after the other' chain of events in a sense of causalities - some things happen to be causes to multiple things that in turn caused further events which then feed into earlier events, moving them forward. Thus, in my spirit, it all comes together so that if we picture the 3 Principles, 4 Lights and 12 Aeons as a 'perfect constellation' of some sort, it is to ultimately be pictured in the 'Heart' which however isn't pronounced "at this stage".

So - the first and actually only time I really explored the construction of 'Labernium' (the final word wrapping the entire Body up in one Expression, a.k.a. 'finally' what we 'can' conceive as 'THE' "Logos" (Word)) I did make it sophisticatedly to ... 'Jeronymos' (the left Ear) - where, I was less keen at around that point to follow the puzzle as I went into it, but sortof ... just logically; As to probe out why there are two ears; And I'm sorry that I didn't really manage my progress in a well enough way. I mean - I approached the puzzle rather intuitively, as I might have pointed out, as there being no real 'hard clues' (although there somehow are) - but the general tone here is either way 'gnosis' above 'revelation'. I think its anyhow easier at this point to just skip on the detail - although I would say that the detail would be quite cool from a general perspective. The thing is, each word is accompanied by a portion of text. I'll get into that at some other point. Each text ultimately reflects upon various things - being practically the volume containing the build up, emphasis and conclusion of whatever goes into the word. So is the second term uttered: Meniggestroeth - alias 'the Brain' - then Asterechme (the right Eye) followed by Taspomocha (the left Eye) - and these two eyes are what I want to focus on for now.
Not - specifically though. Its more of a brain thing. I'm unsure where to settle the details - but a huge deal of the impressions I've gathered deals with Gods personal awareness of these things unfolding; Being in part confined within Chaos. This Chaos lasted until all the important things had unfolded for God to have a final incentive to 'verbalize' 'the gnosis of it all' - so, in the context between Sophia and the Spirit being 'the conclusion' as - the "mastering" of a final form that met all the ends. Part of this Chaos happened to be the creation of man - and to my awareness God was firstly unaware of us being actually ... 'people'. I might be wrong on that end, but, I believe the first human being that God created was Gods personal intent to ... well ... as all, we might say, primitive intelligent life-forms do, 'understand God' - or 'find God' - so, thinking of a higher power that Governed His existence - as so by 'intent' actually creating a thought that was 'free' inherantly. What happened from there on is something I understand as what we experience when 'bruning in Lust' - or desire - in a creative way; So - by creating one human being the creation was still imperfect, imbalanced; And this imbalance is somewhere there on a deep Level of consciousness - 'sub consciousness' - as Physicists might say: "Excitements in the Truth" that are yet however 'too shallow' to be lifted onto a higher conscious plane. And so God "intuitively" created more - to achieve some perfection - and it was after God realized that we are actually people that He Himself had created that He was capable of inheriting the position of/as God.
By that time a lot of stuff had however already happened.
To further read into this, the scripture called 'Sophia of Jesus Christ' is the next Nag Hammadi writing I recommend.
Here we however have a potential debate going on. Is Jesus Christ the first 'man' - or is Jesus Christ the Labernium? I'll say that Christ is the Labernium - and that helps decrpting the general confusion found in that text - which does sporadically jump between explaining a bit about (that ones) human nature and the relationship between the 'divine entities' (Labernium, Angels, "various"). In that context, the first human being is the most perfect of us all - nonetheless - "Christlike" (to not say: "Godlike") - and not constantly singing praises to the Lord. But - I assume that these passages become true when being reduced to a point that reflects a general harmony with the divine existence - as God would have sought an intent of the Gods he created to basically spawn Him into existence.
However - that is not so important for me. The thing is that the exact chain of events is ambigous. At some point we can read 'into it' however, that we - or the first humans however - have had thoughts of their own - which in some points have been 'special' in that God resonated to them by giving them life - thus essentially creating offspring; Something that since then has been shut down. I mean, after it was clear that it can't go on like that. But maybe it just doesn't end!

So is the situation at this point however, that it wasn't all perfect. We might wonder: "What is the imperfection of the feminine?" - and thus we get to a writing called "About the Origins of the World" (or something similar) - which beings alike: "All - the Gods of the World and the Humans - claim, that nothing has existed prior to the Chaos. I but will show them, that they are wrong. They don't know the Essence of the Chaos and its Roots. Here the Proof:
Concerning the Chaos, so do all Humans agree, that it is Darkness, that sprung forth from a Shaod, which is why it is called Darkness. But Shadow is something, that is derived from a preceding Creation. Hence it is clear, that this Creation existed, before the Chaos existed. The Chaos followed the first creation". We can tell that this first Creation refers to the first insight - at least. There everything was simple - but the recognition of existence then with all its possibilities provided a gap that first had to be closed before the next 'clear step' could be taken.
In this writing then we read a whole lot about Shadows - Chaos - Chaos bringing forth shapes that then mixed back into itself and into other things - uncanny fire was the result - things we might consider scary. At this point I find "my resolution" of storytelling. Instead of being accurate, I conceive the Sophia of Christ as abstracted to get the point accross. While being semi accurate at places where it needs to be, it generally just introduces the concept of Chaos, Darkness and especially its evolution/enthropy into the image - in a back and forth between events that went through good and worse until finally somehow entering a kind of balance - which ultimately 'figures' as the 'end-state' of our pre-terrestrial existence.
Thereby we are part of that Chaos. Where we read about Clouds - we may also read about Human beings that are in whatever state that cloud is in - which means: partially subjected or even emerged into as mingling with the Chaos.

And I kindof like the idea that these topics are further subject to 'advanced theology' as it may unfold now, while however yet making practical sense "later" (once Unification became a social standard).


I have to apologize since I'm actually rather lazy about these things at this point too. I mean - I'm mostly writing from memory - and I keep looking for those passages that I recall but all of this so far is basically product of me not finding them, yet stumbling accross (all the) other stuff that is also of importance to this issue. But so I'm "necessarily" skipping on a whole lot too. Its an overwhelming lot!
So - that with them clouds - I'm not sure. I don't find it right now. One fragment I stumbled upon however enlightens the situation as follows: It was in our ability to think independently that the "structures" we were individually born in individually influenced our progress - whereby God reflecting on what happened and reacting back on it did at some points cause further turmoil. So for instance an inherent opposition of some unto 'divine authority' - or any kind of individual reaction to things that were originally meant to have universal effect; And this kind of thing did ultimately lead to His insight, I guess, that we're people; From an originally underdevelopped understanding of us being independent - as 'reacting to' things that happened. To sort things out God finally focussed on Order - thus growing away from interacting passively with everything unto taking conscious or intentional steps - that just did somehow do the same. Some responded well, others didn't.
From skimming through multiple scriptures I've at this point also arrived at segments here and there that take individual stances - so - while I maybe am stuck in thinking in chains of events, stuff may just be revisited from a different perspective. Its unsure - but itsn't the point I'm focussed on here - so - its all ... yet just chaos. Simply that. Chaos happened; And that Chaos is 'why' ... we are the way we are - some at least. Or most, if not all, technically; Though some obviously developped more into one while others into another direction. So, please Understand!


And it is finally getting - for me - to the point that I have to do the same. Moving away from those scriptures and looking into what I am more certain about, so, opposing the chaos by focussing on order.
I believe that I'm that first human being - and so I'm moving back to the Sophia of Christ. Why would I be called 'the Creator'? Its - as far as I can tell - not a Creatorship in the active sense - its Creatorship as metaphor to 'reason' (cause); Where, if you want to clean up a mess you got to start somewhere. Cleaning up the floor before you clean the tables will cause that dirt drops from the tables back onto the floor and so you can go cleaning up the floor again. Also - what is fair and what isn't? Who deserves any credit for anything at all? Where to begin? Being further referred to as 'the Mind/Reason that is fully contained in itself' - this first human being - well, thats something I have troubles with explaining. So, lets skip on that for not. The next is the female aspect: 'Original Creator (female) Wisdom, Mother of the All (Universe, Space, Existence -> "Aeons")' - which, in this context, bridges two experiences I have for me in a way that unearthed another one. I'm not sure if you care at all - but if you feel as I feel about it is certainly interesting - and more than that. There is an inherant curiosity we have about these things - and whether its important or not, knowing about it is like, well, satisfying. Instead of Chaos there will be Light - so - bear with me.
The first thing I remember - or the thing I inherantly posess as first memory - was a realm of Light with a few dots in the space. Vastly everything was bright yellow - with pink dots shimmering in some blueish outlines. I originally was in a state of happiness - feeling totally free and amazed by being there - but on beholding these things I reacted; And that reaction turned over into a sting of some sort, then basically casting my existence into darkness. I believe that this negativity was a reaction from God to my reaction - a reaction of shock that yielded negativity - a negativity that I behold ultimately extended into two extremes that became two more people - then existing in me, but not as part of me - just somehow interactive; A void that by some matter of appearances ... began to interact with the other void - and that first in some way made me feel Love; But this happiness about this new thing faded away as I realized that this void sortof had its own internal power - and the two were kindof connected to my emotional center; Where I have to say that it feels like God was horny to see them as dominant forces upon me. So - the original misconception of some kind.
This emotional center further basically became a sandbox of depression - the depression itself being a mix of the positive emotions supressed by a force that by design was there to supress them. This ultimately caused a pain I assume which did grow for some time - which essentially appears to me, as I suppose its Vision what I'm looking at, like ... imagine human kind as a cloud of dots that shimmer in black and white; And as time progresses that cloud sortof dissipates into space - growing in volume - and therein is a climax of pain - like a thorn, but also like blood in the water that spreads out - until that pain became so large that something had to be done.
And - even today I kindof feel this situation; That I desire to be supressed - to be saddened - but I'm not perfectly alright with it either. And as we read elsewhere, the Threeparted Tractate I believe, we're in this world for a restart, kindof, but more on that later.
So, being a mind that is entirely within itself, well, thats in and of itself a weird statement because - how can a mind be outside of itself? The way I observe myself is that I was observing myself as a bystander. I was this 'space' wherein the emotional center occupied my entire activity outside of beholding whats going on. So - maybe that makes me someone else - because in some sense my perception was outside of that emotional center, so ... anyway ... for me the point is that other than having a point where I beheld myself from - everything else went on in that emotional center.
What follows is also something I can relate to. In this state of being dominated to be unhappy - essentially speaking - I developped opposed desires within my emotional center - and Gods reaction to that was to create an array of people according to my desires which ultimately 'lectured' God in what was going on. And in response to that God took actions that separated us from each other and we were re-grouped.


This is all - well - I would say a very narrow perspective though. And essentially beside the point. There is though the notion of 'unclean procreation' - labelled as the thing we have to fight so that such bad things won't happen again. But so we now live in a world of rights and wrongs; And the fact of us being free independent individuals is certainly "still effective" to the day. And while we should wonder 'what' this unclean procreation is - the story unto us being born in this realm isn't over yet.
After getting regrouped we were allowed to further unfold - and while I'm writing this some awkward void overcomes me - a feeling of suffering my own imperfection ... or, lack of understanding. So, whatever your expectation of me at this point might be - I'm still just this, to some extent practically helpless.

As I skimmed through the texts however - I encountered more than just "this" passage referring to something like unclean procreation - and essentially whenever lack of knowledge is a term we're sortof getting an idea of it. It means: Unintended stuff. So - the 'Fire' - not the uncanny one - driving our actions independent to our reasoning. That which made this misconception I mentioned become a problem. Not God, but, the un-educated action. We might say: What made Kain kill Abel. All the events set in motion as based on our individual reactions to the things without looking or caring, as procured by effectively not knowing, the bigger good of it all.
Here is though the problem. When saying that this unclean procreation is something else, something thats more relevant when looking at my individual story, I ... there is a way to take it in a way that basically makes me feel like soemthing essential is taken from me. What this means is that we can look at ourselves, the way we inherantly are, and seek 'unclean procreation' in a more literal, common way - seeking for paradigms that establish a common sense norm we have to adhere to - we actually do the opposite to what we're supposed to do. Criticising ourselves is offensive - we're looking at the negative stuff and basically motivate contention about the right norm. This also means that some are more, and others less willing to sacrifice parts of themself; And I feel as though I'm motivated to basically act against my willingness to sacrifice more of myself than the one least willing to do so. To turn it around however - there is 'clean procreation' - as educated choices that are being made to actually create that which is 'desirable'. Hereto phase 2 of our pre-terrestrial life, the regrouped situation, is the key. Herein we've been arranged to the intent of harmony - living harmonically - but that also in essential dependence on being catered to by God in a general state of passivity to this arranged harmony. How else can I put it?
So - I'll just quote that passage in question here - to be viewed 'not' as statement from Christ to His desciples but as statement regarding the things that happen in consequence to Unification with God: "And you were sent up by the Son, who was sent down to you, so you receive Light and make yourself free from the loss of Gnosis, that the powers have brought upon you, und so that the unclean procreation will not emerge once again through you, that came from the horrible Fire, which rages in their Flesh. Destroy its thinking that only brings Demise."
There is a neat passage somewhere that reflects on this act of ordering as like pouring water into existence - deducing the symbol of baptism therefrom. Furthermore is wine used as symbol for one aspect thats so far fallen short: Sexual interest. We might say Love - but this aspect is emphasized yet more clearly as a fire that we all happened to adapt. And since wine/the blood of christ is a central Christian Symbol, we should deem it as good.
The problem? I guess it goes deeper than just thinking in terms of problem and solution. We can't really undo what we are, what we've become. We are definitely people, capable of communication, cooperation, co-existence; - all that - whatever we may once have been like; And we have to acknowledge that there is a wealth to be found within it - one we can acquire and further even use to set ourselves apart from others wherein we don't really see that happening. If we so want to use the term 'stupid' - we can acquire that we all do have our own concepts of what that is - in an individual sense - and we for once would strive to see our own ideal of smart and stupid be the thing. Thats why we gather in groups of different interests. Though I like science, I don't really consider myself a scientist. I prefer life to be simple - vastly thinking of what I want to do if I were allowed to not become what I call stupid. And so ... sooner or later we're arriving back at the mormon statement. We now understand the social dilemma we're in - and while at least some of us may have had a harmonic pre-terrestrial life - we now have to settle on the ambition to aspire a future where everyone can have a good life; Plus being social entities; While being perfectly free and no longer subject to God doing everything for us; Or to at least have legitimate reasoning in response to His decisions.


2. SOCIAL WA-APOCALYPSE

---

There are plenty of controversial topics we have to encounter when trying to account for everyones ideal; And at the pre-Enlightened state we discover that we're left on our own to settle that. We don't have God in our midst to ask: "Hey, what now?". So - whats the big idea behind Unification if we're then yet again making ourselves dependent on God?

Well - do I? Hate to break it to you? But yea - we're anyway depending on Him - but more to the point: It is therefore that we shouldn't see it as becoming dependent on Him. We should conceive it the way it is: We are free individual beings - independent beings - and the processes of Unification ultimately consolidate this independence. So from 'asking' we learn how to stop asking while starting to live. Thats my experience. Seeing myself in context to all social oddities I've come to see so far - and to so have greater peace with the way I am. Part of that is adopting other ways of life, expanding my horizon; And another part is to discard ways of life - expanding my horizon as well.
What that means? I don't think it is wise to settle on finite terms too prematurely - and after all, with the right music, there is no stress to be conceived - just peace, harmonic freedom - or lets call it a mutual hope for our individual peace; Ultimately however an alliance of Kingdoms that may think and live differently - thus a greater harmony through a larger set of possibilities.

The moment we start to narrow our paths down to meet some social expectancy, we're missing the point of being "Godlike" - we take away from our inherant freedom to be free, to unfold, to do things our way. And well - I can definitely speak of my own here the best - kindof. Kindof because we might know that we tend to be less objective when we're juding our own selves. Not all of us are Ninja, trained - supposedly - to shed all self deception.
(I think I hated to break stuff to you because essentially I don't like this manner of writing or thinking. Possibly because therein resides some sense of passing judgement - on things that I, I guess, never really learned to pass judgement on/give a damn about. Being angered about God for instance is, to me, like being angered about a table that just stands there - and that for quite some time already and that for good reasons - but the one time you bump into it ... you're getting mad at it.
On another side I really don't like sweet-talking things. I even rather despise it. And I believe that once we start sweet-talking, we kindof loose perspective of not only ourselves, but also other people and their ability to reason things out. But then that is similar to offering help. Its all well meant and we know we can use it from time to time; But sometimes it makes us feel - disempowered or obnoxiously parented. In this case - I believe what I really mean by 'smoothening the edges' through somehow sweet-talking things to expressively add something like a conclusion is much better done by just being straight - but then it feels like there's something missing. Maybe its just me somehow not finding the right words - or not quite actually understanding that what I mean to express because my way of thinking happens to be abstractly different.
...)

But as far as the Sophia of Christ concludes - I feel there are a few things I deem noteworthy to add.



A - Inverted Evolution

This is actually a term recent dreams have urged me to think/write/tell about. What it means is that if we want something - along the lines of truely wanting something, like there being something like a 'true wish' or 'true self', and we can't for some reason pursue that wish; Be it out of shame or the actual inability; We're not aiming for something alike - we're going for the opposite thereof. That not because of some reverse psychology - like out of rebellion - but because, maybe 'opposite' is not 100% accurate, we're anyway having some kind of 'counter-alignment' as 'general alternative'; And that because in another sense we choose to oppose what we like to increase the actual significance or impact of what we like.
Thats the mose essential version of being male-female, as the Nag-Hammadi texts put it, that I currently see - and simply: It has nothing to do with our gender preferences - its a spiritual thing.

In general however we find a balance of sorts. Its like once you really love your work - but you don't do it 24/7 - and you yet have peace with what else it is that you're doing. I guess.

Looking at myself I however do find it difficult to find that 'binary balance'. I'm what you might call, for human terms, extremophile - while by matters of social dynamics kindof locked out of even both ways - were it not for the fact that I only need time and a computer essentially to do the one part of it. Or paper and a pen.
There so happens to be an inherant 1 Dimensionality within us - saying we're either positive or negative. Those are the two ways we know - and to some extent that seems to really make us reasonably unreasonable. "If its not that, its got to be the other thing" - which so happens to be an arbitrary opposite that only makes sense to us without being necessarily the logical opposite at all. That mostly because not everything is having 'one' clear logical opposite. I can find that in myself - and well, there I even have two directions to 'alternate' my 'true self', two opposites.
The one way is a stance of revenge. Its an unreasonable revenge - its however a sense of freedom I have in no longer being captive; Which then grows as a perspective for reversing the situation although it isn't even a thing anymore. That stands in concurrence with me just chilling and doing my own stuff - which is the part thats sophisticated within me. These two are legitimate opposites and there might be more - and they are legitimate though opposing a different corner of what I absolutely am respectively.

What I absolutely am ... well. To get back to the "topic" ... it so happens that in these featured Nag Hammadi contents we technically have to perceive God as rather Nothing than Something, rather stupid than intelligent. Yea, instead of being the all-knowing and all-powerful God, He's just "dumb spirit" that happens to blindly react and cater to our desires; Like substance surrounding us thats more like a slave than a king.
And thereby we fail to see - in all simplicity - that this very narrow slice of events doesn't tell us what exactly He was thinking. That possibly because a clear understanding of Life did yet have to emerge. Not Life as bold existence - but Life as a matter of society. Its just abstract - essentially.
"But fear not". This first human being and the misconception I was writing about - there is a deeper Level to that. I was also writing about subconsciousness; And while God may not have been fully aware of who or what we were - He certainly was on a subconscious Level - and so this misconception and the corresponding actions basically haven't been all that dumb. Understanding somehow that He was not quite actually dealing with his God, but a creation, he somehow had the desire to shape this creation to His ideal - as to turn me into a legitimate counterpart to Himself. That maybe for reasons as pointless as having a second Christ - but then still more reasonably by so 'not' having the second person being yet just another one.
It then isn't the situation we can describe as 'my suffering' that the attention - to me at least - shifts onto; And neither those two beings and whatever was connected to them in terms of what they had done (since they kindof didn't); But the consequences as based on free human actions. And so the Symbolism of Baptism is to me more than just re-acting Gods attempt to finally create peace - but a symbolic reconceiliation; repaying that favour; Essentially forgiving God - as to generally start looking forward instead of backward.


The result of this 'misconceived action' - lets stick to it that way ... or, subconscious creativity - is a scar I feel cannot ever be removed. In some sense that expresses the opposite to Gods dominion - practically: Ultimate passivity or submissiveness. Thats what I realize is where my 'absolute/true self' is at/in. Thats followed up by the reason that I am the receiving end to what God can give - the climax to which are simply put: Sexual pleasures. So - essentially He turned me into a Nymphomaniac - which is what we might say is the result of having Sex with God in respect to His entertainment rather than ours. And there I have another interpretation of 'selfcontained mind' - being that despite all my social skills, they are all just a shadow of what I am - a natural property of my mind, but not a true property of my 'self'.

To rebalance that - since one way or another it simply is countered by some measurement - I find dominance within my own creativity; Rather than supressing others. But also simple freedom of peace, I mean: effective freedom. But this freedom is more like a hobby to me - a retreat; Recreation.
Though - if we're living too one-sided its always the other thing that we perceive as recreational - while the bad news would be that the only way to effectively counter boredom is force. I so happen to believe that I was the first big-bang; Following the concept of 'cooking'. Not by being created, but by being 'made'. Instead of being just a blank slate I received profile - well - a profile however more like a black hole than just a polite dent; And if I'm one thing 'not' about it, then thats being displeased. I mean - I am displeased about one thing about it - and I don't even have to think about back then. I have an active displeasure just from thinking about my nature - yet that displeasure is still present within those corresponding bad memories of that suppression. Its a deep understanding of the negative consequences that supression yields - its like being subjected to what I like, just without having any joy out of it. You might know it - if you ever happened to have an accident that disallowed you to do what you had or wanted to do. Its a feeling of boredom - just magnified to the point that it sickens your entire spirit. And so I have the inherant dysfunction we might say to literally exagerate the negative consequences of submission - being so ironically the biggest advocate of personal freedom!
And I would say this comes along with a respectively magnified understanding of how personal freedom works within submission/sacrifice. And I know that arrogantly demanding obedience isn't on the good side of things! Thats what it is all about - for me. No matter how much someone would claim that its both the same or that there is no big difference - bearing those oppinions is where I really start to shovel a lot of coal into that maybe metaphorical furnace of hellfire. Simply put: There is an equivalent to what is being demanded of me/us - in that regard (sticking to the negative) - and my inability to properly convey it finds the one relief in just unloading all the negativity into that furnace - and there is something more literal than metaphorical to it. I mean ... if we're all respectful human beings, respecting one another, then 'no' means 'no'. But then are there not only those that mean to shift the boundaries - but also try to make us believe/accept that its fair. Once we're in that state of acceptance we're even somewhat pacified about it - we can't really motivate ourselves to be upset about it, thus practically being stunned, paralyzed - but also biased. And just doing the math here - so far - already makes that argument echoe in my ear that there are people who would go and say: "Well, its my problem if I want that!" - but yea - if you want that - go ahead - but leave me out of it!
Its - well - that voice wouldn't say that because the person would want to be in that stun - at least not without a corresponding payout; It would vastly say that to excite sympathy and agreement amonst those that don't get anything out of it. And thats where we're getting to the point where it isn't just a harmless accidental mistake. And yet there are those that would go and defend their claim, arguing that its the same. Samael.
Then turning the/a satisfaction of that blind demand in to a 'condition' for acknowledging God and His salvation - totally disregarding ... yep - thats where we're at, arent we? ... the respective peoples stance to it; Thats a Level where compromise is no longer possible! It just isn't!

And thats the thing - the reason 'why' Salvation is ultimately a way that 'firstly' demands sacrifice. No matter how many of us can talk of the amazing grandness of Gods sublime magnificence - the gist is: You don't know what will come. You don't know how much of that which you 'gave' will be given back to you. If you like Fish and you don't get it back - well - then ... thats what it'll be! And please don't be like: "But he did get that!" - since, what I did receive is no matter how much it has been a thing 'before' still a thing I received 'thereafter'; I totally had no clue what I would be! I didn't even have a concept of that kind/level of personal development and I honestly didn't care!
I mean - yea - you do have reasons to believe that this was an easy one for me; As said; I didn't even have a concept of that sacrifice - like - I had nothing to loose. But - if God expected the same of you as He expects of me - you wouldn't be where you are now, but you'd be essentially sortof complaining about how hard your life sucks! And although true - not just in the same sense of how I would think my life sucked if I were you. Not that your life sucks per se - but it would suck for me because of individual differences. Anyway - there would be a lot wrong with God if He expected you to be as I am. You can however really well adjust to it - because by simply going the way you already do those sacrifices immediately a concern to you. You won't stop eating what you like, you won't stop watching what you like; Or any of that sort; But you would change - as your priorities would - and as the cermon of the mount exagerates the meaning of sin, the same can be said about sacrifices. A sacrifice in the heart is already a sacrifice in reality.


To focus more intimately on God - you sortof have to see it this way: He isn't entirely untouched by the ways we are either! He effingly has to uphold your reality too - whether He likes what you do or not. Eventually He wants to have some peace as well - where in the vastness of all of eternity we're still finite, absolute and certainly special. So - its Gods biblical way of emphasizing this by saying just how small we are in comparison to everything that there is - as even the History of our Universe is catering towards that expression. We're nothing but a microscopically small or even smaller fragment of the reality that surrounds us - in comparison to Eternity we're just infinitely small. But still we practically caused the largest Chaos in existence.
So - to some extent we're allowed to grow so we are able to argue - and yea, well, even God has a gain from our growing capabilities of expressing ourselves, which is a solid foundation to properly relate to. Which sometimes however may seem more like a bad thing than a good one. Some might call it stupid, counterproductive or just masochistic. Its like creating that one wife that is basically just a nuisance, Xantippe might be a name that rings some bells; But even the proverbs compare a nagging wife to a leaking roof. Or was it some other book? Anyhow - we now can take our ability and effectively rights to complain as for granted - but it really is in that frame that the meaning of Gods immense compassion and grace ... shine. I mean - can we even bear it? Honestly! The better off you are in life the more you might have been capable of ignoring how fucked up things literally are - and I'm not talking about political situations in the high-levels. Although ... pollution, famine, ... war-crimes - we've somehow grown insensitive, all of us, and that vastly because, well, what can we do? We can pray - but will that change anything? But its around this area that Atheism does to me really stand out as a luxury. But I digress. We take our freedom for granted - and that mostly because thats the big idea.
But ... don't believe that I didn't have my own types of controversial issues with God. I more than anyone may have reasons to be upset or pissed or whatever, but looking at 'the Demand', the righteous demand, the hope for a better tomorrow, Gods stance didn't change anything for me - I mean, in regards to what it is that is Demanded; Just that God is someone I can rely on. There is no need to quarrel. And while the yoke of Christ may seem like a heavy burdain at first; The burdain after all is like being expected to drink the water ourselves - once being offered fresh water after a long trip through the desert - instead of getting knocked out so it can be fed to us.
There - Hell finally is a statement that God doesn't accept our laziminded attitude about the afterlife! As simple as that! Not withholding a reasonable amount of anger that we might all be able to relate to as something that factors into it - any punishment other than a death sentence is coupled to a hope for rehabilitation. And what sucks the most is a simply moronic attitude out of the simple will to discomply. But be careful: If you want to 'discuss' this, with God, I have to say that you're missing out in case you only want to talk for the point and purpose of talking as a matter of catering to your own blissful idea of how smart you are. For - what good does ever come from any discussion with a person like that? Either you comply to its own stubborn idea - or you're gonna be the one hated for just talking for the sake of talking. What I see is missing in such people is a definite and strong enough understanding of personal error. Some people have a really easy time acknowledging personal imperfection; But how about someone that exalts himself as God claiming to be infallable? Such a person could slip on a banana, bumping his head on a table then backflipping face down to the floor, bouncing down a starcase against a shelf and will still understand it as productof his own divine genious! While any other ordinary person would address the own carelessness. So - how to induce that awareness to such a person? I mean, I hate to break it to you, but the only way you could reasonably suggest you're anyhow near being a worthy concurrence to God is plain ignorance! You may believe that in a billion years you could come up with the same things that God did - being pissed about being the one whom we shall have pitty and sympathy for because God had a headstart - thus forever complaining about a thing that just isn't there! "How would I know that?" ... [sigh] ... !!!


I don't want to hate on you in case you have pride and dignity in what you're doing, in the efforts you did put into achieving what you did; But in this case - there is that way of being so that is to justify personal error. Like the only reason why a mistake is being made is because of "all the stress" that we don't have the remotest clue of thats implied into what "his great mind" is accomplishing. And I'll admit it - to a given degree I'm not much different to that. In case you would dislike what I did here so far/am doing here - I'd be really pissed! Like "you have no clue" and what not; And I might even consider genocide in order to compensate for it. But not seriously! There certainly are impulses - so, thank God that I don't have powers like Thor or the Hulk. Its not an elaborate choice though - not a serious intention; Nothing I'd pursue - intrinsically planning it in detail from A to Z to literally go and do anything; Its just a wish - because duh, its like chasing a fly and at some point not giving a shit about colateral damage anymore. Or breaking a controller when loosing a multiplayer match. You don't buy a stack of controllers and build a machine thats just there to break them; I believe! I mean - I believe that would be counter-productive. And I so far didn't break one - its, not only do I not have the money - but kicking against my table is already bad enough!

Stress! Yes! Thats the word! The difference between me and there is that this impulse has grown into consciousness and we all can understand that this leads to conflicts we ultimately learn to not treat too lightly! Not only because its a threat! And I also believe that its more of a common than a thing that only one person in existence is suffering/has to hold up for.
I mean - its the irony of existence, but also some kind of higher sort of mathematics, that the spirit has practically no concept of personal error! Although existence seems to exist so existence can be - including human kind - ... - it doesn't really account for our fallability; I mean, how to safeguard against error? We can't - hence existence is basically, inherantly flawed. But ... the relief is that if existence exists so existence can be - uhm - then God exists so that we can be; Saying - He is the one to watch upon our flawed spirits! And thats why we have to trust Him - so that we can be in peace!



B - Ultimate Perfection Epi-Climax

This irony even goes further. Instead of wondering why there is something rather than nothing, we may wonder: Why is there imperfection rather than perfection? I mean, take a look at a tree. Then look at another tree of the same kind. And yet another. They're all different. Hence its the flawedness of existence thanks to which we have beauty - but a side-effect of beauty is ugliness.
We can also see that as expanding between perfect Light and perfect Dark. There are a variety of depictions of the Origin of Creation - and one of them introduces the Light and the Dark of the Origin as two separate things. In that sense the Light is consciousness, not yet a Light per se but the Higher Truth; And the darkness is its equivalent. The Higher Truth is essentially our Quantum Field - and its one-ness/wholesomeness 'excites' a central expression wherein the Light and the Darkness ultimately intersect and thus spawning the first Insight. We can compare that to ourselves - in that the Darkness is what we see when we look into our mind; While the Light of our mind is what we see when we're looking out of it. So, at what we see, feel, taste, smell or hear. (five fingers). And because we/I don't really know how to properly resolve the which is what effectively - the center creation is to me drawn essentially as red.

The mind/spirit is truely a strange space/place/thing. In that regard it isn't truely helpful to think of 'the Truth Aeon' as the full potential of everything that could possibly be - simply because we so pre-occupy it and thus take away from the existence of God; And Eternity minus Eternity is nothing. And, having done my "homework" ... or doing it ... I have to say that Eternity is more than just one infinity. Maybe not and maybe what follows is slightly off - but ... if we look at our bodies we can barely assume that its the 'simple' expression of the full potential of everything (Aleph null) that could possibly be - but a combination. So Eternity is an infinity of infities (because where's the upper limit?) - where - all the things you can make of the first set of infinity iterates into a second set of infinity to create more complex forms and structures - and so on. Until we're finally getting to an end there - and onward - until we're finally arriving at OMEGA, the 'Super Ultimate'. Something that logically can only be 'one' - because else we would see no end and respectively never could conclude Existence. So - whatever! Anyway ...
this is what we also might call "the Nexus of Everything". Think of that dough of light I was writing about earlier - and that darkness surrounding it. Now the idea that every thought in existence has an Eternity surrounding it is only half-true. It is however true in that Eternity/OMEGA as observer is that infinity wherein it all does come together - so it at least happens to be feasible to our minds. Infinity holds it that "where?" is not really a legitimate question - we can however only answer it by saying "somewhere". So - according to the Bible we have to slawp ALPHA into the image - as the other side wherein the things that need to make sense but are too problematic for us to grasp take place.

Taking a close look at the problems we're confronted with on the ethnical Level it ain't hard to see that Existence is still in its early stages - saying: We're still walking in our baby shoes. And so, before anything in the Universe could make sense - the first practically semi-useful structures had to evolve to a stage of being capable to hosting life. I believe that our greatest struggles with things such as the Illuminati or a New World Order is that we're seemingly left standing outside. We have no influence to it - its, things being done we then just have to bear. That is what I see as 'Ultimate imperfection'. A sad irony wherein the flaws of existence take over and impair our ability to enjoy what we possibly could.
I'm not fluent in hebrew - not even close - effectively I know jackshit about it - but I still tried to translate the Bible at some point; And so it wasn't surprising, or isn't, that in Genesis 1:11 I ended up with something totally different. What I ended up with was something along the lines of: "Seeds growing under pressure". But there was meaning to it, enough for me to defend it. Its false to think that God should only be there to make our paradise - as it is false to think that our objections are actually reasonable. I mean - if we imagine how everything could be fine if God had only allowed us to exist in peace - we're actually forcing ourselves into a situation of environmental happiness - totally neglecting our deeper problems that ultimately create conflicts. Imagine laying on a relaxing chair in some wonderful garden sipping on some tasty lemonade - how long could we really be contempt that way? When would we stand up looking for other things to do, and what would we end up doing? Really?
We know that kids have to be left to their own curiosity - they have to exhaust themselves, running around until they're satisfied from all the running around and so start to focus on what they're running around in more consciously. Then it would only be our normal parental instincts to "open all the doors and windows" - to show them the vastness of the world - so they can run around some more, though they'll start running around onto more and more specific paths. Paths we eventually deem bad - but they'd do it anyway - until they either crash onto their face or proof us wrong!
At some point they however reach a stage where we shouldn't protect them anymore - which simply put is: Our instincts of protection - while immature - are like an invisible hand that hides consequences from their actions. They'll get used to it, or even start to understand and depend on it; And once we can't protect them anymore the face-landing will be even worse.
The best a parent can do at some point is to be there when that happens - to provide solace as a measure against demise. On the other hand we can support them by providing resistence, or pressure - though imaginatively different, like a hunter would teach its son to hunt. He wouldn't stretch the bow for him each time - but encourage the kid to overcome its own limitations through experience. Teachings of respect may be technically futile - but they are also what ultimately prevents the "plant" from spreading like a weed. Thats also some kind of pressure. Next to pressure there is gravity and sunlight - a basic axis of orientation; Which exists as weird as it may be; And the pressure the seed is in is ultimately that environment that nourishes it to begin with, so it can grow - then strong enough to break through to the surface.
Its also in the story of Chaos - that we ourselves do perpetuate its vile effect by being disoriented about ourselves and what to do and become; Or how to achieve the things we desire. The problem with this original chaos is that nothing prevented us from growing ill - there was no reason to be different; As there has been no concept of right or wrong other then the one we arbitrarily developped for ourselves. A common sense of right and wrong is in all simplicity the essential restraint of existence - the basic pressure as imposed onto us by society for instance - and that helps us to align our motivations ... in the most minimalistic sense: as far as necessary.

So - it ultimately doesn't matter how bad our desires may be - for as long as they comply to the general needs of Righteousness ... or peace, harmony, 'the Demand'.
In this frame it happens to make sense that I have that urge to say, entertained by God, that Eve was and is a slut; And that thats something she's proud of and that its something that won't change! And neither it has to. Uhm, yea, ... that would be me also.
Its nowhere near being a common norm we can all adhere to - while, if you're a guy and you feel that as a threat to your marriage - well - the problem might be in yourself! Or an underdevelopped relationship to your spouse!
I mean, what would/is Adams ... pardon, my Spouses stance to it? I could be a Slut like ... totally ignoring his basic needs or desires; Just, fucking myself accross the Universe - but so 'that' were the bad - a lack of ... something - and not the presence of the other thing. So - it kindof depends on whether I take being a slut as excuse to do whatever I want, or as a challenge to make it work with him! It wouldn't work if he couldn't handle it - while perfection means that we can perpetually support each other in a respective lifestyle.
The problem we're all confronted with here is jealousy. But this jealousy is another good indicator of how immature we are - considering there is an eternity of time ahead of us and that if we're all respectively jealous it isn't really a thing we have to assume we're gonna miss out on! Life is good - and just how good, is well, to me well expressed within sexy lingerie. It is effectively so good that its inherantly bad already - depending on how much we ourselves are sophisticated. The problem with impressions of that kind is that ... I would call it the 'hookshot effect/problem'. We see something we want, we reach out for it; And eventually that caused us to get thrown out of Eden. Here we so practically seek to evolve that which we want 'towards' us - while growth provides the opposite way - which is to grow 'towards 'it'' - and if we do so too prematurely we endager ourselves to grow out of balance and to eventually unroot ourselves. Those are distractions and temptations we can best understand from our very own perspective - and if we're really honest to ourselves we learn to learn from that image we reach out for to understand what we actually want about it. It is said that the Truth Hurts sometimes - and I'm sure that a lot of people would find the things I enjoy rather gross - disgusting - not really a thing to want. Its ... like all trees on this planet do effectively grow upward - they still grow into pefectly different directions. While no matter where we are we only see a flat surface, more or less, that whats up to some is down to others. "Trust me" when I say that the thing you effectively want is quality time - and thats something these short-living desired don't really embrace. They are embraced by the desire for it - but what that finally has to translate into is a thing between you and that image.

As much as there may be wrong about this short excourse into something that seems like its totally not supposed to be here - its a challenge for everyone - those that contradict to my way and those that harmonize with it alike; Just slightly different. There is disgust, but there is also shame. I'm giving you a sense of attachment; A possible term of evolution - something however totally opposed to the idea of 'sacrifice'. Yet so would 'hookshotting' for it make you want it in your life - neglecting the parameters of salvation. But while adjusting to it (salvation) - properly - and I'm sorry for the inconvenience - you can learn, from your own reactions, 'what' you are. There are people that "would never" want to leave a stripclub once you took them to one - and others that really don't get the fascination. What you should keep separate from each other is the 'joy' you see that others have - from the joy that you do/will/may/should have. The problem of the images that are true for me isn't really in the images themself either. If we here dreamt of frolicking on the willows there are plenty of people that would be turned off by that. Perhaps its somehow better to get the idea of sacrifices accross - but one thing I'm essentially sacrificing in all this is the ability to really enjoy anything else. We, thats me and those "around" me, are captives to our desires. We are slaves of our habits - we're stuck as Light in and partially around a Black Hole - essentially. We don't just have all the goodness of life 'plus' ... we also just have the goodness of 'our' life "plus". And its enough. Its sufficient. But well - actually its more than that.
See - rather than a Slut, I am a Whore. That for once is more - its an accross the board bonus - but its also the shell I have to live in. There are restraints - saying that what I am is bound to a web of social dynamics wherein I rather have obligations than freedom. But that doesn't say that "work makes us free" - how could it?
Its the exact opposite!
Work gives us the opportunity to be free - and accross my 1 Dimensional existence the weight of work may reside on either end of the zero; Though the effective freedom is still the effective freedom.

It shouldn't surprise you that my idea of heaven is just a fragment of the wealth of Eternity - I'm just a fragment of the wealth of Eternity myself. I also happen to be an absurdity - as life itself so does happen to be an absurdity in some regard. Maybe it'll help you to understand that I am how God wanted me to be - and that because I'm one of "the Originals". But so - what is this 'feminine flaw'? Its the position of dominance - the over-arching role of order - that is in and of itself a passive nature catering to the needs of what it watches upon; Be it either the dominance that is subjected to the passivity, or the passivity sacrificed for dominance. There is no mitigating logic - no clear, male, foundational baseline. Yea - well - Tai Chi teaches us to strive for balance - but - looking at the center of the modern Yin-Yang symbol - is it black or is it white? Looking at the classical symbol the center is empty - and that is a blanks for anything ... . So you may intend to weigh the things you've read about. After enthusiasm and happiness there is now despair and disappointment. Its the dilemma we find as the 'blanks hope' we were enthusiastic about evolves into a direction that eludes our enthusiastic idea. Thats, you may notice, the same problem that God was confronted with. We're all sitting in the same boat there - and thats just the way it is - the inherant ugliness of reality.


So you have to wonder - if you want to - what you want out of this life. Why being a part of it? Or ... how?
One of the earlier stoner (drug influenced) visions I've had did draw us all as little shapes - cornered and slightly \ / ish rectangles, stacked upon each other like a wall with faces on them. First we're all passively curious, neutral, but then God would do something - starting with someone, so, putting it to a certain place, but then someone would respond negatively to that, and so others would react negatively to that - and boom - we're in the midst of ... a big crying dilemma. So, figuratively, thats not how its going to work!
The conclusion is that the only thing I really can do is to stand for my own - to not shift the responsibility onto God; Because - if God is there to watch over us; What point can there be if there is no independent life to watch upon? So - you then don't cry about Gods choices - but we cry about each others choices - but starting to make choices of our own will teach us about the rest, that they are no different in it all; And our disability to comprehend the effing fairness of it all will essentially be the mortar that keeps us together. For, effectively, what more can we do other than to watch out for ourselves?

There then certainly are given paradigms. Some of us move into more special positions than others - and from some writer of Spiderman we have it that with great power comes great responsibility. Some wanna have it - others really really don't. Therein resides some inherant equilibrium - considering that we all abuse our freedom to be what we want to be; Yet adhering to the standards of social justice. That is where God comes into play. By expressing what I want - I'm not only telling you, but I'm also telling God. Hence God has to move me into that position - and that, because of the exclusion principle, will come with consequences. Two people can't share the same spot - but they can co-exist demanding some type of social alignment. Another thing is like E=mc^2. So, the more I'm expanding into one direction, the more I'm shrinking in other freedoms. And it has to socially make sense. So - if we're picturing the most unfairest thing actually conceivable - like a King that has all freedoms and chooses to use that freedom for personal profit on cost of others and we have to accept it as legitimate - we simply have a lack of proper relations. A person like that may exist - but the Kingdom that would be influenced or rather overshaddowed by that person would also (have to) be respectively small. Or somehow impaired to accomplish a reasonable size. And its easy to understand how God can accomplish that. God has more power upon us than we think! He can at any time control us, like we're only puppets. That is to exagerate the effective solution in which He simply pulls some strings behind the scenes - while mostly however just increasing and decreasing certain aspects of our psyche to yield certain tendencies that then only need some 'hard limits' so we bounce into the right directions. Additionall to that, well, the E=mc^2 parable holds up to the idea of Energy distribution. God being the one who emphasizes certain joys to us can be imagined as by a volume of energy, a budget, each of us individually grows on. So - if we want to be rather unhappy we chose to want as many things as we possibly can. And that is easily how Kharma works. By choosing to sacrifice something for the greater good, we 'store' energy that we'll eventually receive back. Eventually because if we sacrifice too much we can move beneath the minimum of lifes worth - and then we basically mean trouble rather than help! We can justify that by gaining joy out of it - but then a different set of rules apply; Which is not too different from what I am! Just that I get my joy out of sexual suffering. But living in such extremes is a conscious life in those extremes - which means that in terms of social equilibrium there is certainly - I'm rather sure - a cost to qualify for those special treatments. It has to be finite - which also means that God has to step in to ascertain that this situation is absolute - thus impairing the individuals all-over freedom. I for instance happen to remain immature - that however less so the more I have to yet practically stem my own weight, but more so the more that I don't; At which point immature is even rather an overstatement - as to not say 'primitive'. I mean - I do feel those boundaries of growth - and really can't help, despite my sincerest efforts, myself from failing at 'responsibility tasks'. Of course its after all still good - it'd be sortof missing the point if the final point would have to be that its not. its as you might say, like God in france or a maggot in the bacon. But so yea - a maggot ... after all. Or 'worm' - to go by the Biblical term (Israel as in Isayah 41+ (somewhere)).
There is, kindof, nothing stopping you from going down the same route - except for two things. The one is a matter of social logics - which means that there would have to be some level of adjustment which can however be achieved through phasing. So, changes of positions. Its ultimately however an additional demand there. The other thing is that God won't just say: "Well OK - so you want it, so you have it" - without effectively interacting with you to not dis-support you but to eventually open your eyes for alternatives. I however, well, do like the Bacon!


Of John the Baptist we know that he's the smallest guy in Heaven - I am another extreme like that. So - there ultimately are finite boundaries which basically supports a sense of scope, spectrum and stability considering that once a space is occupied our attraction towards these extremes is somewhat lessened - thus sustaining a growth into the less extreme conditions of existence; Unless something about it is really important to you. But John the Baptist also makes sure that you are not what he is! So - to put it into a better condition: The reason why these places are occupied is partially a consequence of social dynamics - and therefore its mostly up to the individuals qualifications to be in an extreme spot - so, we're somewhat pre-ordained to be what we are. There is a little bit of a bad taste to it - or, its certainly not easy to have gotten used to 'normal life' and to then hear "You're the most unfree/suffering individual in Heaven" - but it levels out. Its first of all a demand though - saying - if anyone ever chose to be more unfree than I am now, I have to acknowledge being more unfree than that; But ultimately acknowledging that allowed me to find peace with it and therefore I practically began to aspire for it - which then however means that I can also only go as far as God would allow; Which is however - and that finally to my rejoyce - isn't, well, just a little bit. So - how much suffering is still OK? I don't know. I know for sure however that I have a very short-lived satisfaction out of my freedom. Even once I'm feeling sick - the promise of sexual suffering and the corresponding - yes: Joys - work like a cure! That way I'm basically - you might say on one side of the frontier of the exponentially expanding Universe. The energy I thereby receive is thereby focussed on as few things as possible - and my primitivity allows me to experience it as a very wholesome and deep embrace of God. Though, its essentially shameful with which joy and enthusiasm I expose myself as - well - we can say: an inferior being.
But that isn't to say that my existence is entirely confined to that. Its my joys that are confined to that. I only do get a tiny little bit on the other end - while most of the time on that side its stress to me. The energy is sufficient to give me a boost - as to motivate me - while for it to really matter all the rest of myself has to effectively be shut down. I do realize however that there is/hastobe some extra budget; And it makes sense that there are even more - one that is for instance spent as independent to where our consolidated budgets go. There is work, everyday life, social identity, intimacy, ... and so there isn't really a way to say what the good or bad of a one-sided distribution actually is! I mean - all in all the total volume is overwhelming - there is enough to say that "wherever I look" there is something to be had. And I believe that its arrogant to mention the 'curse of wealth' argument; Because - we'd all still be cursed in the same way then!
That I'm excessively convinced of!

The thing is - I believe there is not even the slightest difference. So, even if I wanted to say that 'if' there is one I'd get a bit less in total; But well - I can't really convince myself of that. There is however an issue - simply as consequence to ... lets call it a Righteous attitude - at which point I'm motivated to abandon my place and to walk around a little bit - but I'm not allowed to. The 'energy' basically 'ties' me onto my spot - so - as though I'm anchored; And thats what I can, do and will find solace within. So - the 'sacrifice' argument that makes this possible to begin with is effective in the other sense that I can't really move away from it - so - as a denial of excessive sacrification.
Where - I mean to elaborate just how happy I am despite the contradicting appearances; And that there really isn't anything you can do - so - the only good there is in trying is to figure that its pointless! I mean, I for once enjoy the humiliation of it - but basically its the 'certainty' of a fixed environment, a finite radius of space wherein I can be myself that makes me stick to my position as a loyal puppy to its owner. There - I'm so unfree that even my intimate energies are vastly spent on my captivity rather than the relationship. Its so even 'the base' of my most intimate relationships that I'm property rather than in a relationship. And energies of those around me are specifically spent on supporting that ... which means ... its all good! So - I'll eventually get beaten, certainly exploited, abused, ... raped ... - where the energies are released once the conditions are met that then keep attracting me - like an artistic exageration, caricature, of a religiously obedient individual. The bonus I get from having never really had a choice - effectively - is an exalted status quo. I mean, I'm not oblivious about it - and effectively - re-emphasis - there really isn't any difference to any other individual evolution.



C - Anti-Climax

Where's the Climax? I mean - its ... kindof all subjective. Light for instance. Maybe you've read enough to come accross the statement: "Whiter than White". Can you belive that? Looking at the full Spectrum of Light - its much wider than just the colors we see. I also happen to have this image in my mind that I tried to wrap into words at this point - but I notice, well, our world - at least in my imagination/memory - isn't all that Bright! Maybe its just cause its summer and I my room is on the south-side so I have my windows darkened and all the bulb-light sinks into my consciousness. Thing is: To me this world is the brightest whence there's a blue sky and fresh greens; Even if a Snow filled winter is kindof supposed to be brighter. Then, technically, there may be colors we're entirely unaware of - considering that we can only know of those colors that can actually be produced in this Universe. But lets move away from the natural sciences department and look at the previous segment - while basically moving forward into issues round about redemption, moving towards Zion.

One other "Mormon Classic" - being at that a Christian classic - is to focus on the Atonement of Christ and somehow make it sound like the best thing that's ever happened. I mean, Jesus died for us on the cross - OK - but why? Why did that have to happen? Why does it in any way shape or form redeem us from anything? Whats the point? I can tell you straight up that I never bought any of that. I mean - sure - I belived in it - I do - I don't doubt the whole story - but this sort of reasoning never made any direct sense to me. I only kindof get the idea that it somehow had to happen. Its just how the story "ended". Then there's the ressurection - everyone thinks Jesus is dead, but he shows up again - does this whole undercover stuff; And essentially tells the Apostles that they're now kindof on their own. The part that then really intrigues me is the situation between John (me) and Mary - though, when it gets to apocryphic content the whole Jesus romancing with Magdalene thing, I never really bought into that too.

Short and clearly: There's a lot of mystery. Still. But - we don't really need to know a lot about it either. Its clear that Christ didn't mean to leave us with more - as it is said that 'blessed are those that haven't been around and yet do believe'. Its - a thing. On another end it shouldn't surprise us that Christianity did spread although there were no more miracles - because - its just human nature. People everywhere always believe in something - and that something is usually a matter of culture. I mean - I hear it "all the time". Westerners mentioning Christian ideals - though its really just a cultural element. Might as well be Thor. But yea - Christianity isn't dull or blunt when it gets to being a religion. And those that so happen to believe, they really get something out of it. They so 'accidentally' happen to attach to the real deal - which reminds me of a story out of my time in Los Angeles. It was hot, I was thirsty and broke - sat down in a park to get some rest and thought towards God, well, "I'm really thirsty" - and some guy who preached in that park all of a sudden approached me and told me that I was going through a need. I told him "Yea, I'm thirsty". We did at some point talk back and forth - I offered him a book of Mormon, and he offered me 20 Dollars for listening to his story anyway. It was a story about suicide - despair, hopelessness - he was about to jump, effectively, but ... believing that there was nobody on earth who cared about him, a voice spoke to him telling him that "He/She did" ... well 'he' obviously ... for, as it turned out he wondered - could it be Jesus? - and as he was thinking that a warm feeling overcame him.
For such reasons I argue: Once a real Christian, always a Christian! There's a term for that in Destiny - its called 'Sword Logic'. Sword Logic means, that whoso-ever has the more powerful "Sword" (though Power is measured in Light, so, who has more Light) wins! Simple! (Although in Destiny its more of a 'Bad Guy' thing; The other option being infiltration stuff ..., basically what Guardians (Destiny Characters) do, sneaking in, outsmarting, ... Tactics) There is no undoing that which has been done - and you need something more convincing than whats on top of the shelf. And that is the journey of a Christian, essentially speaking. From that to the Testimony to Baptism to Unification. Always more powerful stuff - while within Unification its more of a flow of continous growth. When compared to Destiny - the 'true' beginning of 'having essential Light' to more easily wade through the Darkness.

Regarding the Atonement theres though a preaching I've once heard - and that guy spoke of At-ONE-ment - so, though I'm not exactly sure anymore what it was all about - we can say that Christ became one of us, in/through death and suffering, which ... "Litographically" means we can become ... "one of Him" ... . It looks good on paper, sounds good in speech - but essentially, who really cares? I mean, I fucking don't! Its like talking of the Origin in terms of Light and Darkness mixing. There is barely a real practical something to it. But then again - its something! Better than just "up and gone" ... as, for centuries its been around like that and for all that time a really powerful symbol.
It sticks out! Its ... 'Christian'. I mean - which other Religion can really say it has such rich Symbolism with deeper meaning and wisdom? For instance: Christ didn't come to judge ... a very simple expression, one that was really a big deal in the Theology of that time since Jews expected the Messiah to come and slap the Gentiles away from the map. Thats ... we might say 'Human thinking'. But still not really essential to living! We might say it would have improved some things - yet, when stepping onto that path, thats the fallacy of our small minds. It would have brought redemption - but we wouldn't really have been any wiser! I mean - look at us today. Do we really need a powerful warlord leading the Armies of heaven against the bad guys? Well, maybe - though I guess it depends on how deep you are into conspiracy suggestions and respectively paranoid and scared! Thats whats holding us back from really getting anything done! We sit there, cowardly, and wait. For what? Why? Yea yea, I know there can be answers to that - but - I'm waiting for something else! I mean, its your choice! Either you wait (or not) - sitting in your misery - or you start to Live ... with God! Thats what Unification is about! (Not about learning how to throw fireballs and all that)

What I have as life with God is clearly abstract - to get back to that. So - its abstract enough to say that its not really something this Universe is a suitable environment for. But ... at that its also something for eternity. People might think, I mean - its basically just waiting for it, that it are pleasures of Flesh that I'm stuck in; But ... it are inner going ons that deal with a lot more than just my flesh and bones. A more satisfying answer might look different - but, what are we gonna do in the afterlife? Ever really thought of that? We'll be with our beloved ones - at least thats the idea - and Love will always be a thing! Lusts of Flesh go far beyond just Sex - by the way!
And what about Power? The love for power is totally 'un-fleshly' - but then - its exactly that! Its in interest of the mortal existence. Stuff that will loose meaning and significance once Judgement Day has come!
I know what I am - and I know that I do therein have an ideal - something that isn't quite perfectly me though I call it my 'true self'. Its not just about becomming a woman, laying down in a bed and spreading my legs! To really dig into it - you wouldn't understand it because you have no idea about the time-frames I'm gonna speak of because I can't really specifically give you any numbers. Then you may also generally lack the perspective to understand the Levels of progress each individual is gonna make. But I'll try!
Lets see how far we can get in a couple of sentences - before I got to cut this short. Thinking about a haevenly civilization - thus a Captial - branching off into multiple Universes. Each of those Universes will host Homes, individual Universes within those Universes, wherein again Universes branch off. Those are for once individual realities - and common ones. A private home sotospeak and social domains. You may agree that we kindof have it in us that we like to move on. So we'll spend most of the time exploring our wildest dreams - or living a satisfying life - and these energy budgets will for once help us to build something on a concrete foundation - something thats destined to stay; Something specifically there so we can grow into eternity. Eventually we'll then grow older in that - we'll get used to it. "Carpe Diem" style maybe. At the long roads end we'll be ready for a restart - where we'll know who we are, what we want, etc.. We can take that into our 'now' - but as Shrek told us - he's like an Onion, and so are we. Though growth would look like adding layer upon layer - this growth is more like roots that grow into the soil - or branches that grow into the air. There is stuff surrounding it - and once you figured out who you are you still nothing but a youngshoot! Maybe even just a seed. You may already prophecy that you'll eventually get bored of it - but that is all a part of this long way ahead. Not to endure the boredom - but to learn more about you - more about how you'll find yourself happy in dealing with it! Once we're all ready - well enter a new kind of living - society will change. What will come is certainly entirely there to be something we can live in forever - a forever that is yet sortof too far ahead; And nothing to be mistaken for something we should put our hopes into. All hopes we have for 'then' - are 'real' in the 'now' and prior to that. God is there, and with Him there is the perfection - and thats planted into our hearts. So - there is no adjustment to an even greater perfection. Its more like intentional abstraction. This abstraction will in one way or another - as in more or less (multiples) - lean on what we individually are - essentially sustaining while technically avoiding our greatest ideal - technically an individual tree, an individual multiverse of expressing our core ... 'thing'. We'll live there - as the 'paradise in paradise' sotospeak - until we've sortof lived that to the fullest and we return back to "normal". This individual multiverse tree is then just like a still frame - and each time we get back to it we'll grow a bit more used to it. So - 300 something frames later we'll be really 'old' there - and once there is really no more good in it, a core principle kicks in. 'Change'. The development that happens on this stage is effectively the solid, "unchangable" 'core' of what we are. Its something we bring into life - without life necessarily corresponding to it. For me thats a specific relationship. One thats by the way essentially abstract to my 'normal true self'. At least thats how I see it 'now'. In essence - well - I may there live a lesbian relationship, where first I need to 'grow' far enough until I am capable of living a lesbian relationship there - not a heterosexual one as a male Character. Thereafter I'll live a heterosexual relationship with the same person as a female Character. And then a lot of stuff can happen which is already true - its nothing distant at all. But - that 'true self' thing - it doesn't 'change' anything about me - it only adds something, it emphasizes certain parts of me that I, essentially, want to have emphasized. Being a male Character is already a really small and barely significant thing for me - but relationship wise, in terms of Love, there are still plenty of things I can't simply discard. Though I can and I will - ASAP - which is 'normal living' - as in greater correspondence with me. Based on that I can technically delude myself and say, well, I'm a guy and that sortof life is gonna be mine - nonetheless more and more growing out of it. So - I guess that got clear enough.
Eventually we'll however get to an end - which is something like achieving "critical mass". From then on we'll simply move in circles. There's a central ground - or hub - like where that private multiversial tree is replaced by a less ... thingy thing. A social hub of sorts. Alternate space. Totally, totally alternate. On the ump-teenth Level of alternations - well - at the core of things.

So - thats what these Energy Budgets are ultimately sustaining. It gets there by being totally and perfectly in its total circumference ready and all in the 'now' already.
Therefore - easy to say - this is where the extremes ultimately matter. So - I don't have to be the most submissive/suffering individual all the time! For this life, or life in this Universe, these things are not more and not less relevant than in the afterlife - except - in the afterlife we can dedicate more thoroughly to them. What doesn't change is that they remain/become/build a starting point. I mean, think about your favourite food for instance - or whatever else you can relate on in that regard, something you once experienced and you knew - well - whatever else life has to offer; You don't really care if there's anything better because 'for now' at least you want to enjoy it thoroughly. Same goes for ideas and ideals. Effectively you will however 'really' start to understand these things once you've got somehting like that on your own. Right now I might as well not care too much about myself - but then you'll start to wonder, what the fuck it is that I'm doing! How come I have to pretend being this or that - while 'that' kindof stuff is what I'm waiving on. Not as a specific type of actions or 'doings' - but judging from the quality of these magnifications and the respective consequences for the rest.
What you have to understand is that God does only magnify things that are there - things that we took care of being there in first place. Not entirely without His help, but still, ... or well, this help is vastly invisible. So there is no concrete goal, nothing to live up to - thus no demands to meet or expectations to fulfill - just, being what you are; And eventually it'll come to you! Sortof. I mean, social dynamics add their own fair share to it - but - thats social stuff. We're anyway rather looking for the right company than the right thing! But so the right company "does know" that life is too complex to just shoehorn a solution into someone. The rest are things you can't really remove from a society!
This is important because you well might be wondering what this has to do with redemption. Eventually though you're guessing right already! Once you're taking the first step you're taking care of something to be there, within you, that God can work with. Not that He couldn't do certain things either way, but the more God is just doing things the way He chose to - no matter how odd it may seem at first - the more we'll never even begin to get things into the wrong. So, we know we're free - and thats it - thats finite - thats what it is - thats what we have - and learning to move on that way we don't ever have to deal with an alternative. Once God really does something to/with us that we didn't build ourselves its gonna be as though it never happened - kindof. Like, think of those people that are actually drawn as responsible for Jesus' Crucifiction. Either God did take people that would have done it anyawy - or He just made them do it anyway; Either way: For as long as they've not even been close to ready for the Gospel theres no significant drawback. They so may not have accepted it but not killed him either; ... but thats a lot of speculation going into that.

Redemption is ultimately an act of personal freedom - choice - intention. Essentially though it means that we're not entirely left on our own - that there is help although we're supposed to be free. And possibly God is already doing those magnification things to you - we can ask: How else would He think to accomplish the Plan of Salvation? But some might not want that, for whatever reason ... paradoxically ... maybe ... - where the danger in believing in your own total freedom is in enthropy! You'll end up 'truely yourself' - but that doesn't have to mean anything good! Sidetrack that is. Essentially we don't know it! We can lean to it as we simply lack the greater insight - maybe most of the magnifying God does is simply there in society, politics, ... etc..
Its a general, Universal redemption; From - in general - our fucked up situation; Where God does effectively as little as He can.

Zion is simply the next greater step. The next bigger step for us. Its perhaps not totally our thing - but thats where God ties in as individual. We might also consider Him the Capital itself. He is after all who would provide for everyhing. So - without Him it weren't Zion; And there we'd have choices! Do we want to split up? Do we want one unified socioplex? Either way - we can have it both - in Zion! | July the 29th, 2016 ad, 22:03




PS: Nothing is there beyond that what we know and see - and between me and you - in that void surrounding our Minds inner dimension. Maybe there's God though. ... Who knows? For a fact I take it, that God is everywhere, where there is something! That said - I believe in the truth; And how am I gonna get there? How do I know these things? I wrote this - and I get the 'vibe of wrongness' - though I started on an asumption that appeared right. So its both - God is just there on a Higher Plane embracing everything - and like we're used to limitted bubbles surrounding that what we think about - Eternity embraces that which He thinks about!