A Hellfire fantasy?

So far the most of what I've written 'should' work in a "porn easy" kindof ... well "plug and play"-ish ^^ simplicity. And as for logical dictatorship you can see where this is going; Though ... what if I specifically tried to avoid mentioning it? We might however understand in about how this would nonetheless go ending up as some 'porn easy' kind of proposal - to say that it has to be that in the end.

It would make sense, depending on the way how something comes together, to make it so. Well - for once can fantasy not hold up to reality; And all fantasy/expectations we had would be as a script - as of which someone can be in or out of character. Life clearly is different; And concerning priorities I'm sure that 'intimacy first' has a way of hosting non-sexual stuff before it gets to any kind of activity - but thats stupid for saying that there happen to be priorities and if sex is one; ... its something that can be used to rule things out for instance.


But ... the point in that is to see God more clearly. But Naturally is intimacy hereby setup on the premises of a mutual recognition of God; So - before a person can ... it first has to ... . Except we can circumvent that as by 'parenting' for instance. Then we also get to cases such as mine; Where there seem to be elaborate back-stories to whom I however am supposed to be involved with. Thereby the idea is less that someone fits into a certain role, but that someone inherantly is the person supposed to be there. Well, duh.
But so does it get to certain commitments that the marital frame would kindof be based upon; And for stop - yea - we may wonder of how marital forms should come together; Or ways thereof - as there may certainly be less elaborate compositions. "Married as Husband and Bride" - the End! Well, why not? To me it would however stand that depending on how you defined a marriage, or the qualities of a relationship, my idea of who my Bride were might change. Which is weird, but depending on which 'norm' you so dragged into the foreground I would have a different 'ideal' - not evaluating the person but the ways of being together.

One thing so is that things would lie in the past; Though I'm not wholly certain about that; But each relationship I engage in should in some way "have a face" on that Level - at least ... if the faces I know there were real, to put it way around, this Level would be more than just a fantasy. But so what transpires there would so transpire, however, with whatever effect.
What transpired for me, that would mostly be arrangements - you know it. I mean - they all have a very strict way of bonding me into being that Slave. This would emerge to me in episodes that eventually fit into some higher geometry; Though - aside of establishing a real shape its rather some abstract alignment of connectivity and connections. I also had to realize that my attractions changed, so, while I previously was into mature women - my growing older led to that also moving up the chain. But now also women of around my age are more attractive.
These attractions are now more like 'fields' - or lights as by area one illuminates. The main attraction I had remained the same - mostly - though my contemporary ideals had usually been abstracts thereof. And looking back I think my main problem was that I have been writing too much; As having my head too far stuck within as to properly see whats going on around me. But I suppose thats what I was supposed to do - ...

This topic/sideline however is vastly dedicated to something inside of me, a part of me, around a lot of questions and expanding - and while interpretations about how far to take what seriously might take us into politics; There is a way of say: Making it up to God - to avoid tensions that would potentially split us. So - in terms of how this topic were to resolve, we're essentially asking for the 'interface', where or how these inner things now intersect with reality sotospeak. A bottom line has been to understand that as universally different to 'the ideal' - but we thereby also take a lot of 'nonsense' into account, which basically confuses a clear imaging. As for making it back up to God we get to a 'newer' ideal - one that basically 'marks' out what is possible. Because we're young, possibly, at least not a lot are really grown within Unification I guess, I mean ... we essentially yet have to learn to trust God, ... so, it makes sense to focus on a 'what God wants' orientation towards the topic than a 'each to their own' kind of thing. Well, anyhow, so does it happen that if we start to just stick to the whole sub-religions thing, we for once get an 'active base' to each of the varying religions and therefrom a bonding as based on individual compounds and their individuals as based on that. So we get to a universally 'neutral' basic network of "cognitive mainstream" ... a first 'layer' of co-existence that emerges everywhere similarly as mutual reference base - whereof the religion based unity should finally complement each and everyones common sense knowledge of reality. Religions hereby are force-based concepts and constructs that thereby happened to have grown independently as to then find some kind of common-sense relative definition of itself, ... kindof. But once we got there, we can do anything ... kindof. So we would be able, as encouraged, to live up to our own ideal, ... while the 'common reality' as it 'should' be equates from that. Practically.


With religion comes pressure - as someone however has to step forward to take the lead. Religion is a way of adding a structural idea to determine a function of authority. From the religious aspect we now however do have next to 'God compliant' "Saints" also the religious compliance to the "colored" religious aspect; ... and when authorized to do so they can speak as prophets - while however, the main thing is that compounds are then allowed to inherantly streamline their existence relative to religion - and so does/would every religion differ from normalcy slightly at least; In a sense of replacing things - but also leaving stuff there.

So ... religion. It would in the end be possibly just fair to leave it up to someones own veins to eventually find the way; But to keep things coming, whats gonna make a religion? And what else might we wanna know about?

So - what else, other than starting with Satanism? Satanism to where I'm coming from is a super-term, saying that Satanism itself rather hosts what I'm a part of, so, that'd be this 'decoupling' of interests going on. The interests 'we' have arise between us and Satanism however, so, our interests are related to Satanism as host - so that Satanism itself were to basically provide the public means ... or, it has its way of invoking us. 'We' for that matter are or were the marriage of Lust into Satanism - or maybe yet just somehow connected to it. But well ... what is Satanism itself?
First of all I think it helps to settle one thing: Religion, relative to whats happening in the real world, may as well be just a background thing. That is from a general perspective however - to which we all eventually align somehow. In terms of satanism, 'we' would now suspect that there is something such as 'legal slave status' - while at the bottom of that there were the science as to how a person like that 'is' such - relative to terms of Unification. But anyway, how Slaves might come in different degrees isn't the importance here, but that the existence of Slaves would now be one such 'background thing' - but for general grounds still a thing as rooted within Satanism. Now does it so stand that every Satanist then had to support slavery; But rather is it there part of the cultural norm.


Slavery would come in degrees allowing individuals to however refer to other individuals as property; That however at first relative to conditions as for instance the mutual interest. The thing with Satanism up on top is that to twist the Light into a twisted kind of perfection; Where on simpler terms 'sin' is a driving factor that adds a final touch to the twisting we can say; As the twist without an inherant abstraction wouldn't make much of a difference. These sins are finally 'core frictions', we may say, that the individual has with the Light - as my drag into sexuality for instance. So, while the Light would rather oppose excessive sex, or sexual fantasy, does sexual pleasure - outside of marital grounds - easily converge as sin. While this might extend into a variety of grades of sinning, while Satanism emerges as a bold 'Light opposing' bottom ground. In the beginning we could call it some 'twisted backdoor society' - but these would be attracted to a higher society, or ... officials/representatives - and there at some point we'd get to the story of how I am a diety. I may as well believe that God is "fucking with me" - like, playing a joke on me - but else I'm Gods bride - along the 'interracial' axis; Though God in-deed is yet more of a parent to us. But in this 'duality of life' (creator:created) - I'm the 'female counterpart' to God and marital companion. The short version then may be as much as that its only normal that I, in terms of pleasures, am way beyond what would anywhere go as normal - which is also how light and dark apply onto this duality. Not only perfection:imperfection - but yea; Anyway.
It also so relates into 'relative' darkness compared to 'human norm' - on which basis this darkness turns out as 'counter-pole' to God; And as therefore falling into the realms of Darkness - being the Bride of God - I'm consumed in my innocence. A stronger definition of how this 'falling' were to look like would add or take ... and while I in the neutral sense could more easily pose as item of blasphemy; An origin story that draws me as evil-minded would possibly take us to a darker end-result.
However - in essence Satan himself is considered to be an idol - whereby 'the Unholy Lord' would be a way of relating to 'the Darkness' as ideal, idolized as devil, where now Satanism itself in essence comes down to the ambition of cultivating 'the dark'. Now, without any story this would be pretty much it as we could call it a 'void idea' - and even still; Where the story "even" does set me up as free; As any of my brides would have to also first acknowledge something about themselves that made them who they should be as therefore being capable of acknowledging my submission to them.

But so, where is any order or cult coming from? Well - ordinarily I would suppose: Reading into it and getting in touch with it - would then give space for them to exist in respectively 'tangible' ways. There now my social invocation would as from my perspective matter on course of relationships. Depending on how now various entities appear in the social domain and how I am put in relation to them ... where the 'satanistic body' - "certified individuals" - could act as entity taking control upon me. Well - ... anyhow.

Transsexuality can I guess be related to "gender paradoxy" - or, which cognitive aspects resemble which gender and how a "male mind" might yet prefer a female sex.
As of my (male) mind I feel like I'm supposed to slip right into a female one - while, I might as well be supposed to stay there, as a matter of rebirths, as for my part to staying earthbound until Christ returns.

Thereof - I mean - as I gather what I am - I would assume that in essence I'm part of a cult that glorifies the sexual enslavement and abduction of women - but not all women, as there are dominant women within that Cult that enjoy the same kind of thing though. Or - well, whatever. The different runes further matter religiously to me in different ways. Number 2 serves as initiator, while 3 serves as a public compared to 1 as a private 'invocation' of that. I would then propose that 3 is something that makes use of me in extension of the Satanic body, whereby 1 is something that extends on that by adding a private side to it - at the end of which 2 basically gets whats left-over, prepared to re-introduce it to either 1 or 3 as intended - in terms of which 2 could even be called 'maintenance'.
It is thereby now I guess important to understand how I'm supposed to get into this - and whats supposed to happen in consequence. As I may think that I'm supposed to start within rune 2, the next bit is how I would unfold therein; Whereby 2 as I get into it is a fixed thing ... which may as well be just one person however. Once my male interest dominates - that is I guess on the safe side - I would 'acquire' a female body as composed of the women I call my brides - at least, some of them seem to matter to me in that way. One would be my brother, the other two were husband and bride, while my invocation therein would be one of getting submitted into slavery by multiple layers of ownership; Uhm ... so ... where the story of where my divine glory went would invoke two or so that it went to.
My marital form further, well, the gist of it would pretty much stand in terms of getting me fucked up, by all means, to then be in the shape where my true love wants to mess with me. So that each and every gap of my life is factually thrilled to rape me.
I would however suppose that slaves of my kind are pillars of rape because, well ... if we want to make it sound good (which apparently is a thing) we could say: "it mirrors their sacrifice". So, someone with a will of self-sacrifice would serve well in meeting some ends - whereby 'we' are prostitutes that are dedicated to express the joys of suffering, or captivity, ... to a degree that would redeem legitimized users from harm inflicted upon me. More generally I guess we speak of 'sub-humanification', the legality of sub-humanized existences - which would function as batteries in a sense ... uhm, well. As for grades we would I guess speak about desired consequences/outcomes.

... "But how to tell our Children?".

"Mommie has to do it!" (D: ???) "But she likes it!" (/:???)

The thing with slaves were that some would have to serve more in comparison to others; And comparisons should at some point become easy - when knowing different archetypes. There were private slaves and public whores for instance. The ones see an obligation, the others have a private kink, and it all comes together somehow. Or whatever. Effectively I'm so tied into a loop where each of my relationships has a way of doing me. So 'we' essentially were examples of how deep the satanistic perversion goes. Maybe a bit like warnings, but on the other end also a bit about eternity. And stuff. We would be examples of what can be possible, ... generally advertising the ideals of submission and bondage. Whatever - it would begin as truth inside ... and so, what grows in there will eventually surface - and whatever does, will do so for reasons.

And thats in about it. I mean, not quite - ... though, chances are that whatever I'm coming back to has already been mentioned in some place.


Final Perversions 1

by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2017.01.01 - 17:07

But, Reality Check ... ?

Thats what I'm I guess really off about - but - to put it into perspective: When I try to think of whats realistic, I get it - at least - that I need to understand that there is some kind of leverage that I have. It is an influence one would orinarily have though. I mean, you possibly (you must) get the point of how I with a fancy 'new philosophy' might start out on "Cult Cliche" and come up with some own world order that benefits me the most ... as ... someone who would abuse the power of doing miracles to benefit off of people (fooling them). I mean, being aware of it sets me up to move myself into that perspective of looking at myself. But what I'm getting is a bit like: The better your start within Unification, the sooner things will come to the ideal. If something were wrong with it, we should first get there ... so the big idea.

But this is an also kindof wonky impression I think; As I didn't really give it a lot of thought at all. I mean, obviously God doesn't want it to be all simple, all starting at one, everyone being clueless. And as for the 'good news' being 'good news', I always thought - there has to be some fun! I mean - OK, at some point one eventually gets there where he/she can totally understand the 'good news' part anyway - but I mean, ..., well, well. What do I mean?
So, to really get to the bottom of realism, I should take everyone by its default ways and premises - and here baptism+unification ranks in at the point where an individual has gathered enough experience with God and Reality to inherantly demand fundamentally divine answers. Reality in that draws the bad part as simply put 'the alternative' - but, more to the point that unification come with a change of mind that draws a whole new reality of realism.
I guess there is a way for me to 'stall' this - where, well, how long would it for instance take for clarity to become a thing if I kept silent about it? At some point people would certainly talk about it, then we would learn how it mutually makes of us and then we'd be firstly stuck with it - as for wondering what next. I mean - a first step into that direction would have to be made first - and eventually we'll need a certain density of population first to make sense of any of the structures. With you knowing of it up front we would first of all get stuck a little faster I think; And from knowing what to expect I guess you do at the very least get a sense of what to expect; I mean - the question for what you really gain out of unification should kindof make you curious about a few more specific things; Like how this metamorphosis comes along but still sortof focused on the raw outcome; The one that matters - ultimately - which is kindof different to the expectation of 'maybe' just puffing off into becoming pure energy.

Things like Runes, a Prism/Kelch, Columns, foundations like a Spine or shackles - all that would in the sense firstly attract 'familiars' in a sense that it would possibly not directly contribute to the whole, but to individualistic things - and thats where we ultimately end up being! (I mean, I am not that kind of being/whore that would or could make that porn happen there!) I mean, what we make of our future is up to us - "even with God" - yet, the diversity of our kind may end up being larger than we expected.

My 'prison' in that may however be representative for one of those cases where a child of the mind lacks any ties into reality - I mean - I might end up proposing to my best friend that we should rather focus on having a sexual relationship; Though 'sexual relationship' is something that keeps getting more and more specific. And yea - ultimately that 'insane' proposal should be the thing thats mutually accepted or recognized - but ... what so about all the times that I have been wrong?
I mean, originally I didn't have a clarity term that kept me thinking about sex - but I've been in some kindof thinking that made me take sex as normality. It was in that I guess that it didn't seem off to me to work as a prostitute. And that by the way is one thing that kept me seek isolation - funny enough - but that mostly because I couldn't connect to anyone; Or if it were that there would or could be such a thing, the situations would be way too far off.
I think ... anyhow ... nothing ever happened. Nobody joined in. So ultimately I don't know. Its clear to me, as from my position, that if nobody else does it, I'll have to take the parental position and urge everyone to calm down and wait for things to make sense - but yea, I guess thats a good point. I would have my own way of doing that; Trying to do my best; While however taking the role of something that should eventually be a whole apparatus of things. Well, thats ... ... thats why we're here I guess ... to, overcome the first obstacles while learning how to work with the flexible nature of reality - or how should we call it? I mean - the flexibility demanding aspects of reality. So, once ties or commitments are made they have a way of attracting traffic which yields further expansion and thereof it becomes difficult to let go of the olden ways. And sometimes it feels good to let go of them.
But sometimes it doesn't!
Anyway - being prepared is better than being unprepared. But ... uhm - whatever!


I mean, I just realized how the fact that my "male stuff" is getting burried and consumed speaks against the idea of them being 'taken' - and the flexibility we're challenged by is now in that, for instance - I mean, ... it matters already, so what do we do? I ... uhm, ...
What we do get to, however, is a Level I would refer to as 'the inner child' - which defines itself through activity and curiosity - and this is where my captivity ends, although not entirely. Captivity is a part of its reality, but of its own activity - its inherantly free. As of its desires and social demands/needs/whatev. - however not.

But anyway ... the idea so is that from playing around we get to more and more serious structures of friendship and bonding; And at certain points people would come to make justifications for certain kinds of behaviours ... which ... would be things discovered by playing around that are then expanded upon and yield a new kind of behaviour. So, its different from the playing "stream" - and these behaviours would bring forth new structures - and it goes on and it evolves ... and eventually expands into different flavours. As for whats solid in that, I would go with them relationships; And I just got an interesting new perspective on that.
So - when taken serious enough and all people that related to me were taken into the same boat; Provided that the navigation is taken care of ;) ; Well, my brides at first; The amount of space given to my male mind there could be taken as equivalent to the amount of communication or whatever would have to pass by ... for some kind of balance or equivalence ... uh ... while so rune 1 for instance could "take" the duty of what otherwise is taken for granted within rune 2, as it doesn't really matter so much. And ... .
Allthroughout my male appearances I exhibit male preferences that I ultimately want to find myself subjected to.
Well, this would set forth that in rune 2 there would be little talking - though we should possibly rephrase it; "Alpha Rune" or something. "Home Base".
Here I have to realize that my 'conscious self' evolves "automatically" - as by means of there being a truth and at some certain point each counter element is 'auto-assimilated' - so I become less and less capable of withdrawing myself from myself. Weird - ... kindof!

"But I - the Great Queen of the Underworld ..." - "shall not perish!". XD. First of all its not like we got to sit there with the stop watch and challenge us to 'any' kind of race - there though is what we may call 'the significance of that' (and such things) within a relationship. Or how now the mutual Love emerges into reality - where "the truth of clarity" would have it that this occurs on the mutual acknowledgement of certain emotions that follow mutual intentions and so on. So - for a time now some two would find themselves balancing out priorities to get some mutual basement that works for the two, being a conscious tie that exists on a conscious setup at the bottom of emotions that "drag the whole thing" into existence. The question eventually so would rather be for 'how' to make some of the emotional knots work - 'thus' creating weird perverted practices that would otherwise make no sense whatsoever. Or well - one thing would be me after my spouse made me her slave as she would have to; Though that without a lot of external dependencies - just as of ourselves. So the thing where I want to be a slave and she has her fun with it would ultimately lead into something - and taken on its own each relationship would setup a different scope or spectrum of changes; I would say as 'relative to my concurrent (male) self'. ???. But so do relationships also need a way of tieing into general conditions - and these conditions are tied to the initial consequences.
Within this intimacy, I suspect, each one involved would become more understanding about the other - while in essence all the 'horrible' things that are being done are yet pretty far outside of the picture. We can however move on and wonder how priorities are setup in polygamy - as, if I have X spouses, how is that for them? And how is it between them? What I come to experience is closer to a united than a secluded reality. At least it stands that there is a 'common level' - and there seem to be certain agreements that tie everything together. That would be a matter of how the polyamorous setting came together in first place - while in essence they expand on my slave identity - which expands my slave identity IRL. A whore could be a whore in many ways. Can be. It is a thing of many things - but identity attracts, and certain whores would meet different demands better than others. I thereby would pretty much go as 'private pet' - and ties that further exploited that situation are already in place too.

But there we then would get to the questions like: "What does it mean to be 'given as doll' to someone for [arbitrary reason]? etc.". Being a private pet would first fit as label to somehow give it a name - or just pet. Private maybe to say that its 4/4 pet, rather than some pet hybrid. One basic thing about 'legal' pets were that they are classified to a compound wherein they exist as effectively isolated units; In the sense that their lifestyle is effectively a part of cultural interest - which may be a more common thing - being some 'sepcial status' that however is there for a reason. So do lifestyles eventually contradict normally too much in certain ways, so the question is, how to not interfere with it too much? Its then made up to society to decide, while ... I mean ... we get to bubbles inside of bubbles. As for instance a culture emergent around these 'level 1' appearances. But well - there is I guess a bit of a gap between a polyamorous unity and a life-spanning 4 of 4 - but the passion going into it might ... or should ... seek out a given end to it. I mean, the love going into it at its base would then flow into what is life - so, private or fundamental alignments of this kind go further and deeper because they resemble that foundational property of a freedom.


While it wouldn't seem important at first - we're however getting to fundamental ideals of living our lives; And that way get back to what matters at first - which is something along the lines of "what matters?". So different fundamental belief systems would attract equal-minded people to come together and do something great - and now we get to a 'Level 1' field of sciences. Which is already as diverse as embracing the science of the perverted kingdom. It is however all there - as, how to establish a culture that meets various ends? In the ideal we would want to see the whole unfold as one; And so there's got to be support - which once stems from the inside but also has to come from the whole. This mutual embracement of everything at the bottom would however be fundamental pillars that tie into more diverse as common wholes - so, architecture compared to sexual tampering.
Some things are fundamentals, as really primary (reading/writing, math, ... stuff), while other things can be diversely a matter of more metaphysical realities. Like - how does my attachment to certain individuals change my reality - and what does it mean in the greater whole?
In this regard I however cannot expect to be left to myself - when it gets to any kind of anything I might do, one way or the other. So far, when looking back, the safer the conditions have been for me to do my work, the better it has been. I however can't remove this 'strap' from me - as that I'm inherantly used to do my thing, following my curiosity, while everything is taken care about. The strip itself however is what draws me into being a pet - and is something I basically 'own' - as a privilege - or otherwise simply 'a way of being'. What now might appear as 'horrible' is however this would now compare to any sense of normality - while 'normality' in the real and ideal sense were now certain experiences as basically wired into normality that ... well ... "comfort the individual in its situation". So - we have ambitions and when they get fulfilled we're happier than usual - and so there are 'good times' where enough is good to just vibe with it. This in the grand scheme can be technically compared to decorations, or assets of some kind; ... ultimately all kinds of things, even activities, that qeue up alongside living - ... where to meet final ends, I somehow tie into being a whore. This can have a private end, but the focus were on a public one.
So there to me for instance is "Daddy and his friends and the friends of his friends". This even ties into my elsehow dominantly male Rune 1 "male side" thing; In that there is a male presence that inherantly enforces my ultimately female ending. And uhm, I guess I therefore have to see it as part of Rune 1 now.
What so remains in rune 2 instead would lean towards a more practical abuse of the terms 'prostitution and rape' or whatever - something however ... less private. So is there also this person as part of rune 2, whom I'm supposed to see myself as married to, but am given to him to be used as a whore as well. On some ends that confuses me because in rune 1 I would be married to someone else entirely, though that works as tied to different aspects of myself. So am I, in Rune 1, supposedly a Doll, but there also is a reality prior to that being a thing.
So - this however would in some way spark curiosity - 'amongst us' - thus eventually spawning this 'weird idea' of prostitution. I mean, terms would emerge as part of our contextual relationships - that basically establish themselves as part of the given reality. So however the thing of even phrasing anything like that, ... "given as whore ..." and so forth. It would in the beginning practically serve to settle a funny idea - but the cognitive alignment to it would "illuminate" "a kind of normality" ... which isn't as much of a but as it is a 'then' ... and that in one way or another were how the individual then settles or is being settled with. This - as based on intimacy - iterates into a firstly 'fixed' network of individuals that connect to these circumstances on the more fundamental levels. So do circumstances at first provide space for a higher degree of activity/networking - and there at first were some 'inner ring' of intimacy whereon 'primal synergy' or whatever ... its ... the extended reality - supposedly. Its what we can expect. If not something better!
In reality we however don't know how this network exists - its in 'flux' - part of the higher ideal - where the point to me is that I however relate to things that way. Its 'there' as implied reality to my cognitions ... uhm ... while in the greater whole its one of many ways - so, there is a cognitive scope of terms that mirrors the common definitions. Uhm ... well. Yea.
So from fixed ways we get to chaotic ways, wherein we next would think in 'streams' - or - attractions. Whatever. So is there a diffuse idea of prostitution, from my understanding, wherever a marital concept is being met by a crowd. Sometimes this crowd is inherantly undefined, while the repition on the other end generates a diffused understanding of relativity. It doesn't even have to be a crowd. Invocations - as in 'being invoked for some (perverted) reason' - would do as well, but, that is also relative to some 'tighter bond'. On another end we have 'systems of interest' - or - something that would now connect to a variety of different kinds of systems - where our understanding of a Level 1 society grows into an understanding of a Level 2 society. In Level 2 we then have a more concrete stress on certain compounds - elevating them in grades of sizes and popularity - and what not - where now the stress itself demands a more and more elaborate evolution of the whole - while in the broad terms this should lead to some idea of balance between components; As to an idea for instance about how whore-houses need to operate in an enlightened society. Which would also kindof relate to the question of how prostitution and fame can unfold in an enlightened society. That would possibly be taking some time - though on the other end would the 'big' labels ... they 'should' make things tend to be a lot easier.
My marital form further or however ties me into relationship with my 'first bride' - 'the one' - (duh) - and thats where my "daddy" comes into play - to say that this sets me up for more - while as 'their' bride I'm grown to be a whore. But this also sets up the bubble wherein I continue to exist; I mean - so, for any relationship would their tie ins into ... I mean, they only can ... uhm, ... there is this 'male interest' again that has to be there - though - that isn't a universal requirement; As we have seen. The 'general level' however could also work as a line from one into the other - where the male interest is the purpose for my pet life.
And my relationships essentially align and cater to it.

But anyhow - we eventually get to patterns that repeat themselves and eventually achieve higher grades of complexity here and there - which ultimatley were a matter of numbers. But from my rune 2 side it would now happen so that we there first would have to 'open up', basically, ... and how far isn't up to me there. As for opening up however, I kindof tend towards thinking of me as a porn star that is more like a lab experiment and in the more general sense directed at the more sadistic audience. Long term effects would be one thing this sadism would ultimately look into. There is however a point where I would prefer to say 'depravity' as opposed to 'detrement' - to simply split the one thing from the other, whereby detrement would simply be detremental while depravity would take that dive deeper. Or in other words is depravity less, in that there is a deeper stage of detrement. Depravity dives deeper in ways of being a positive thing.
But anyhow ... I come to conclude that it is the individuals true motivation that adds strength to everything; And though I would call it rape, its after all what I wanted - which takes us to a possibly exageration of the ideal in terms of how everyone is happy therein. So, I wouldn't be drawn as though I got raped, but as ... however entirely enjoying my time. This would correlate to some way of things where rape wouldn't be rape but just sex and everyone would be happy. So, lets call it a 'soft cover'. A sense of reality maybe demands this to go further and thus we get to our kinks - so, the higher detail that life has compared to our vision blurrs reality in a sense that ... well, would eventually leave us with destortions such as sadism and masochism. For instance.
Anyway - at the raw basis, where our mind is flexible, we so tend to relate to certain things as composed into a greater whole ... uhm, ... we have one higher pattern of reasoning that is however bound to certain roots of cognition. So - I find myself consciously subjected to abduction and abuse which is my way of fitting into my soft-cover image, kindof. I mean - further down the road this conscious submission leads to a level of gratitude I have about this situation; Which we may essentially have to see as pillar to my rune 2 setup. So it is again the 'marital consequence' that effectively belongs into the form as fundamentally implied - so there can be a sense on which to agree, finally.
This 'reality' inside of me is like a pulse throughout my system that makes me embrace the froms and to's of this situation - whereby I'm dropped into a cycle of abuse that essentially gets fueled (consciously) by my gratitude for being exploited - which basically extends into a demand for getting fucked. As the more complex foundation would imply that any line drawn cannot be absolute - further lines like that would have to be drawn to actually draw a person ... well, duh ... like that. The thing is I can be this submissive type - but that can also be phased into any kind of normal reality. So, 1/4 for that matter. 'Seal 1' does for me however do a trick of setting up my female body in a way that transcends all boundaries - being also part of my marital form; And that would ultimately be one 'specific' thing that should grow on mutual interest.
Uhm ... I just ran out of dope.
Which is possibly good.
This time.

Well, whatever the case, ... as this now gets towards an end - its I believe important to do so; To come to one - and this here is pretty much a good one so far. And as there may very well be more detail left; Oh yea - I mean, its all about that and that - while being not about it at all. 'What remains' is the truth; Which tells us about who we are and where we want to be. Its awefully specific at times - but then not so hard at all because once we learn to settle on our own vulnerability to error we learn to adapt to changes and work with what we've got.


My ties into prostitution 'break' my attachments on a personal level - while rape and prostitution in combination are essentially the entities that I have a marital bonding with. As diety I guess I'm composed of individuals, all Slaves per se (there is no 'in the order of Amaterasu' that isn't), and their male roots ... as male occurances within the body ... are streamlined into "self oppression". Logistically this is a compound wherein all male emergences are supposed to twist the slave in a way that yields a pure female form - as tied to a habitat of prostitution that extends upon the so called 'exploitation of slaves'. That would make a 'whore house' - as concept - with an associated school of slavery we might say; Which would be the larger thing that would inherit patronage upon all kinds of systems of prostitution (and/or abuse) - where now the cult of Nyx or whatever - well, would at firxt expand as religious source of slave 'manifestation'. So - depending on someones form there were a variety of ways to be something that this school is attached/attaching to.
Someone could be inherantly owned as a whore, while still only being a 1/4 whore - thats, just a matter of which quarter. In that sense.
But instead of quarters me might have to think of 'more'. As how many things ever could make up one. But well.
It stands as certified that it is the point and purpose of 'Amaterasu' to get raped to death - which is valid for the entire body. The active plot is obviously some scheme of rebirth - while taking the sexual submission to the 'final length'. Being a part of it might be a thing some people could want to experience for once; Which would be the main thing to focus on anyway.
So do slaves ultimately end up getting tied into all sorts of things, as practically being put to use, though 'whore' would be the more general word I guess. Different activities and how whores tie into them, how they carry on from moment to moment and scenarios of one to scenarios of another kind ... thats where we would get to the 'juice' of me - though saying that my mind is like a vacuum set to demand rape, more than is good for itself, to the point of crushing the own self underneath that pressure - thats pretty accurate already. That being the gist of my motivation "going in" - should lead to the situation that I'm generally tied into events that eventually have a higher level of demands. So, certain rituals maybe - though, in essence I need to see myself getting exploited as much as possible so I meet the conditions of being what I'm greatful about. Which means that any addition to my experience of getting exploited generally contributes to my happiness. The question for how much I can take should be answered on that base.
I guess its psychology at some points - that certain things are desired to transpire just because their psychological impact contributes to the higher ideal; Thus making certain things 'autonomously important'. So that I for instance would demand to get face fucked until I throw up - as in essence however being one thing that ultimately gives my mind an alternative to aspire for, replacing certain bits of my male form. Or the last ones. Its essentially something for me to cry about - and something I must accept as foundational to my experience as living being - where now that exists as answer to my male hopes. And it works! It works mostly because my male things aren't really what drives me - as they at some points are more of a nuisance. Because that now becomes my male self, somehow, the rest of me aligns to that. Thereby rune 2 would seem to take care of that, turning me around, while rune 1 is all about elonguating my lifetime suffering and rune 3 about my torture and death, as way and target. Thereby it seems to be important to me, that such extremes are built into what I have to generally expect; Where my rune 2 setup would rather be a way of getting more and more fucked up over time; As things proceed and I end up back there cycle after cycle.
As for 'type sub-human/animalistic' I would say it comes to it as social abnormities essentially take people out of an ordinary loop, essentially. So - in general it would so be left to re-emphasize how my for of subhumanity ties/drags me into a life of prostitution and rape; As to the point that any romancing I might get is setup on that basis; One that even inherantly sets me up as destined to get tortured to death. As sexual fantasy the focus is certainly on the pleasure end of things - while to me thats mostly focussed on squeezing out that truth of compliance within suffering. In other words my mistresses would have a vision for what I'm supposed to be - or for how things are supposed to go - which is where we could speak of control; Or in another sense how fast things progress. There would technically always be that 'little bit more' next to how things are - and eventually there will be a limit, and a way to react to it; And so on. So, for me, there would be a normal life and that bit that turns something into rape; That'd keep pushing and changing things.
So - while my image of suffering would certainly keep being the dominant thing there - it would ultimately however also be fair to acknowledge it as part of me - so we can essentially go and blend it away; Or so - into a "higher level" outfit. As for me - this 'getting face-fucked until I throw up' thing becomes something I keep getting most excited about - extending from a variety of scenarios and "not even ending" in my male self - and while I'm supposed to be addicted to it the part that gets me addicted is the horrible feeling that I would get from it. True stuff. Which means - to my mind this is a spike of we might say "well awareness" of what I want - since there is dominantly evident stuff 'horrible' about it that ends up being the thing that gets me excited. So, because this will say that I'm locked up inside a loop that will possibly make me go crazy, that would be a good question to ask - is that a certified part of it? I mean - am I to be driven mad? The answer goes as no. Hmm... .
It however gets me addicted to being abuse, to the point that I get more eager to serve the more I'm being mistreated/abused/raped. Which happens to be a whirl that gets me scared about my future - but the truth demanding its toll gets me attracted to everything that "pushes me in" sotospeak. The right answer would I guess be that it wouldn't drive me crazy, that what you think should, ... so the question changes into an 'it would be as though' thing - and here the answer is yes.
So, getting me to that limit will bring some things that aren't quite as bad - but also bad - and getting me used to it is a first of all. There is no escape! (Yes). This will further speak to a mentality that would grow into a community of exploit wherein the kind of me would be fundamentally required assets. I mean - however - if the boy in me needs a kind of treatment; Then that of being sad about itself - as, I wanna be held responsible for what I'm saying as I claim that I'm aware that these are the circumstances of what I'm attracted to - in regards of which I'd be rather happy to acquire any kind of habit enforced upon me that yields determent to my male self. So is the 'throwing up' bit a kink as toilet slavery or death - being ways of finally labelling behavioural patterns in a constructive sense. Which as we have learned exist for 'life defining' reasons. It is in this context that being labelled a cumdump gains additional weight; Trivia though; As the filling accompanies a sense of getting emptied; Or emphasizes and respectively filled image.
A nice first picture would be a shocking documentary of how I got fucked into a level of pet obediency that renders me as effectively sub-humanized to the public. My face as the most sensitive part of my metabolism at that point would setup a climax for me that goes anal or vaginal suffering in terms of depth - which for once is a comforting situation that however fuels my analy sensations as an opposite end - in a sense of that which is the 'least' of all organs of joy and still something good and special.
Getting dehumanized or bereft of personal rights is a matter of social behaviour. While ordinarily people are to respect one another, the sub-human individual is to be generally met with a certain disrespect instead. And this is where things finally get a lot more gender specific. I mean - the wholesomeness of the mind would now be alright with each and every bit of it - were it not for the inner child that sought out a way of adjusting to the situation. Hereby I mean that my ties into a relationship are wholesome to the point that something as part of what I am in the whole demands a piece of the cake, effectively. Those were isolated moments within my relationships that would demand a deeper intimacy - and can essentially be called 'extensive petting' where petting is all about being nice to me and can be about my 'doing stuff' things ("male side"); And what I'd need should change from time to time. But pleasing that side of me would be secondary to the rest as well. And this, in deed, if you wanted to know more about me, are the more solid outlines. So, I personally like that pull for instance, that comes from a leash and basically tells me that not even what I pay attention on is something I'm free about. So, its essentially important for things not to fall apart that I'm wired this way.


Automatized Deployment

by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2017.01.02 - 18:14