So - some of you might still wait for me to get 'raw' on Destiny, the Video Game; And well ... I've calmed down - and ... I was basically up and about
to just let it pass - you know - being not a dick or douche, not being all nit-picky about ... stuff - all things I had on my mind to acknowledge next
to my actual beef with the game; Which is ... what? No better? OK, let that thought play out on your mind, I mean ... we are all right here - aren't
we? We all have our points - don't we?
Kindof! I mean - I didn't get to have any real evidence to back up my claims; So I figured, well, I might as well be wrong. I thought I could compensate
the lack of evidence through smart argumentation - but - that would be like pseudo-science; Not really serving any practical good.
But so - lets kick off and ... so, I had a problem with Destiny - which somehow relates to me being afraid of Antichristians or whatever ... well.
But ... well ... this is awesome! This is actually ... gonna fucking blow your mind ... unless they will delete this video by which point you should
have downloaded it ... but I need you to skip to 19:33 - and stay tuned until 19:44 - and realize whats off. I'm not sure, but this ... is it a bug,
or just lag? Or am I just seeing things?
I mean, ordinarily I would have mentioned things like ... how did Morpheus put it: "I've seen people unload entire clips but have hit nothing but
thin air". I mean - to the point that me using a handcannon with explosive rounds, I've seen the explosion 'in their face' but - would they take
any damage? But now you've got it - there is a 'secret stage', a secret level of inputs or control or whatever ... a 'cheat mode'. I have no other
explenation.
I feel ... good. I feel retributed. I feel finally able to express my dissatisfaction about cheating without being called a whiney bitch or whatever.
But the dissatisfaction about cheating would have been only the tip of the iceberg and ... charged with newly settled confidence in the matter - I'm
gonna think back and try to re-organize what my great issue with Destiny was and is.
As for what 'is' - I guess I don't want to reinvent the MMORPG genre just yet - as I have a mixed feeling about being specific with my concerns. There
seems to be a big 'aha' whenever I am - but I have that feeling that the ones actually interested in it are folks ready to rip me off - as otherwise the
stance pretty much were that all of my "ideas" are worth jackshit without a working example.
So I should 'credit' my 'opponent' for having learned to listen - but I'm not quite sure about how to actually be happy about it!
But I'm still at it ... saying that Destiny - as how it makes sense to me - is at 20% of its potential; And I have that weird feeling that Destiny 2 is
going to be a lot different - but that enough is kindof experimental about it so they'll just be as confused about whats wrong with that game than there
was in the first one - but as a matter of crowd control the general tone would of course be pushing a generally positive vibe.
In that alone you would be able to see the kind of oppinion I have about them - and that oppinion made it by the way really hard for me to understand how
I am supposed to not underestimate them. Well - the thing is just that they are kindof bad at almost everything that I value - or, deem relevant. So -
if they wanna get at me from the creative side, they got to do some great artwork. Not really doing so or underdelivering - whatever (context-sensitive) -
not threatening! But at some point you just got to admire their sneakiness - their skills at cheating themselves through almost anything - as to the point
that I'm compelled to believe that most of our democratic systems are actually rigged. It has happened here in germany at least that vote results have been
published even before the booths were closed. "Oops!" - but nobody really takes it serious enough!
You on the other hand would think you're smart and reasonable - not really understanding though how most of that is bold and dumb compliance to the system!
As you learn for instance that being an atheism is good and smart - not understanding (kindof) that the things you're building upon are just as dumb as the
others! The ones call 'it' God, the others call it '(the spirit of) science' - but neither really understands any of the two!
Over the course of time I had to admit a few things, to myself, about them though. For once that there truely is some kind of artistic genious they have -
but I also know how abstract it is to how art normally works. You might notice it! Quality is key to them - but not the subjective kind of quality. As in
Star Wars 7 - bigger is better - period! If you gonna have an excellently designed character realized crappily, and a crappily designed character realized
excellently - you wouldn't take the excellent design as serious as the crappy one because you can't really argue with/against the objective work that went
into the one, compared to the subjective art-value of the other. So you can take 'shitty game X' - crank the Graphics up to max, take care that the most
rudimentary critical errors are at least smoothened a bit - and bam - 'good game'. (And thats one thing that fucks up the industry! And so I was turned
off by oppinions about Uncharted 4 being like 'good graphics' - where, if I hear it I can barely take any other oppinion seriously anymore!)
Next to quality they have an emphasis - though to me its more like a prothesis - on clear lines. The complexity of a story for instance is entirely objective
as each background detail is specifically placed there. It sounds like nit-picking, but ... you get it in Star Wars 7 for instance. I would assume that Rey is
actually 'the Force' (as in 'the Force' awakens) - where the movie now tries to do that ... that 'leaving parts to the fantasy' thing - but you can easily
tell that they kindof overstretched the bow there. Aside of a few other crappy decisions. You also have it in Destiny that a lot of the Lore of it is found
in Grimoure cards; So you have background information that is specifically 'background information' - "hand-written" if you so will aside of what you find in
most 'nerd-dream' kind of stuff - that you have some random situation maybe that adds another piece to the context and a good author would be aware of that;
Or not. If not - the fan-theory might as well be bogus - but anyhow, we get to problems there too. But so - in the other way we get to less elaborate details
but a generally more vivid experience.
As of right now I would say that I know the Antichrists/Antichristians art style and that I'm somewhat biased against - though also kindof hooked into it.
I get what kind of Characters they enjoy and ... that furthermore is a cultural thing I don't wanna 'judge' (as good or bad/evil) - but I got to 'judge' it
nonetheless in ways of putting it into my drawers. Mostly thats psychological stuff - and on that note - I think I can regard Destiny yet as all in all
positive and friendly, though I'm not too sure about it because there seem to be some 'unmentioned' background details that could in the whole also turn out
just everything but. The Vanguard are sociopaths, Saladin is Pimp and Cult-Leader; And the only way away is ... to abandon ship (Dead Orbit, Rift). Whatever ...
the story of being a Guardian isn't really fed as much as the story of being a Mindless assassin. There is this one creepy statement of Ikora Rey during one
of the Vex missions for instance where she firsts goes on to explain to you that they are in fact organic beings that feel fear; Just to add that they undoubtedly
have to be destroyed and that she regrets that she can't just disassemble them. The reason why they have to be destroyed isn't even to be found. I would assume
that the Vanguard is only out for their Tech!
It may even be that Oryx is entirely unreal. That the possessed are actually just the effects of a Drug, for who would be as silly as to have soldiers that are
all black, but have a conveniently placed big bright light right at their weakspot. Well, it would be more than just a simple drug; While on a positive note we
might call it a gift of the traveller that allows them to see true evil and fight it more effectively. On top of that we have it that most of our reasons to
actually hunt down the fallen or the vex or the brood are to protect places we (the human race) has anyhow abandoned and long forgotten about. Another question
would be how come that Siva was a problem at first, but the Fallen seem to have it under control. So, what did they do with Siva that made it a problem?
As for the whole, the Plot is easily the best part of Destiny, from my perspective on it as artwork, though at some point its just a Halo meets Lord of the Rings
trainwreck. Which is honestly a little bit sad. The Plot is the best part because its clean, kindof, ... its thought out, well orchestrated and all that - but
its also kindof irrelevant. Like the Force Awakens.
Why its a trainwreck? Well, it sounds strange, but to me the whole problem begins there that I don't find a simple access point argument to even start building
upon - as to say that 'they' simply 'lack vision'. Next to that I understand how art works for me - and what kind of cricism I can't take; As it would be utterly
pointless to replace my elaborate art choices by arbitrary oppinions of someone I don't even necessarily trust. And so I'd take my foot out of game-design and
just shut up until I got my masterpiece. However ... I also understand that they are receptive to more practical critique - at which point I'm the game-designer;
And would I invent a gun to give to my enemy to shoot me with? I mean - I've been pretty open at times and I wanted to see where it goes; But I don't really see
the good of it - after all. On another note: They would so have an ideal - of how art is supposed to work; Which is where I as an "inspired" artist should keep
my mouth shut and see where its going! Yea - there is a Level where we could pretend like we're friends; And I might even call some of them friends (because as
far as everyday life is concerned I don't really see why not); And for that reason I don't want to be entirely condescending; But ... I have this 'Malachite' for
instance - and I connect a memory to it, which establishes my belief in such "Metaphysical/Esoteric Mumbo Jumbo" as that special stones do have special effects;
As the Malachite helped me get an understanding of how far I actually discriminated myself into submission and passivity (as part of trying to be a good person)
as the impact it had on me was rather large (although by now it seems to pull me into the opposite direction) - to the point that it even kindof practically
disjointed me from my general lifetime situation back then; To say: If being a douche and a dick and an asshole about the things you want is 'normal' - then I have
for once made progress, even if there is still a way to go, ... uhm; ... anyway.
Another problem I see is 'ego'. But more problematic than that would be their need for a manual of sort ... where not having one is kindof the gist of being an
artist. You write your own one. But the problem there is that they'd even go and do so! "Rule 1: Exposition!". Bla. Whatever. Always have this, always have that.
Then a checklist. Thats no environment for making creative decisions. I mean, the gap is as wide as from Powerpoint to Photoshop; In terms of creative tools.
So - if what you want from art are all the wrong things - so, if your "heart" is in fame, money, influence, etc. - then you're rather a virus to our culture than
of any use. And so the point of keeping my ways to what I consider 'art friendly' - as, once I'm talking to artists and I can reach them - then fine! Thats good!
But I'm not gonna be capable of ... OK, well ... lets see. The problem with 'ego' - as the bad thing - is that your mindset influences your emotions. So - you
would have emotions that are entirely out of place because your mindset it twisted enough. Its like being money oriented when it gets to art. For now you would
say that its good because thats the way things are. On the long run you would however come to support this model more and more - undermining true artists with
vision in their capactiy - ruling them out of the picture; While otherwise you would have looked for ways to make things more friendly for the artist and take that
as a prerequisite for success. You would only hold on to that if you believed that to be the right way - which in terms of ego means that not everything does in
deed go and function the way you think or want/need it to be. People can be manipulated and be encouraged to achieve more than they otherwise would - but the real
reason things work for you is because you're used to be bossing around and people follow.
So you might take us - or me and people like me - like those "real artists" - for terrorists because you don't understand us; What we do, how we think, etc.; As
of which we'd appear like trolls that undermine your genious or whatever. Its like this weird asumption that the Death Star could not have a weakpoint - that it is
way too convenient and therefore must have been sabotage. And with that mindset you'd want to tell 'us' a story about morale and heroism - which doesn't work for
you because we are those heroes and so you start to screw with the DNA of what a hero is to make it work out for you. Then you call us whiney - because you're on
the throne with all the weapons - and thats your concept of life. So you are deteriorating our positive ideals of life just because you so happen to be in charge
telling us that life is actually shit and the best option we got are pseudo-heroes that would actually rather abandon us than being any help whatsoever.
I mean - it would be your way to go, to tell people to do something and it'll be done. If it ain't good its either their fault or our fault - because actually
everything about art is easy and obvious. Maybe you try to see beyond your own horizon - but the fact that wealth is just a step away will never help you get a
real idea of hardships for as long as your mind would be playing that "you wait until I'm back on my throne" rebuttal game. So that I have come to the point that
I'm kindof stranded - that I would need a throne of myself to get that point accross.
To tell you that you're shit; A tiny wannabe wannabe that has nothing valuable to offer. I'd take that key - but I wouldn't give you anything in return.
And at some point it comes down to 'why there is cheating in Destiny'.
And I can understand that. And more. I mean - if I'm seeing things correct then I'd say that the Antichrist himself is even at some points sincere about having
positive ambitions - which is why I started writing about ego and twisted feelings; Because if I'm seeing it correct then there is more to it - part of it being
that these positive feelings are more of a delusion based on the asumption that doing good will help him accomplish his goals. I mean - he would at some points
literally, while everyone knows who he is or that he is a person of influence and power, make himself feel good or better by taking that 'if you only knew how
[something] I am' 'comfort' into his heart; Which I'm prone to believe because it goes into the direction of what I mean by "the one loving the other 'through'
me" - when it gets to that point at certain points. He so needs a fake identity to feel good - and that someone else being potentially me. I'm the one who is
dumped into the shits and is actually a person of divine significance - I'm biblically relevant and aside of God and the person with the most "screentime" we
might say. (Eve, Jacob, David, Elijah, John). Which means that I'm his drug; Which might make him a better person; But that potential is lost within his larger
ambitions and stuff.
I don't really get it myself entirely. Originally I just felt it as influence within me that'd require me to 'play along' - which is some primitive "pre terrestrial"
memory thing - as of a time where we didn't even have bodies - like, the really first things rather that happened all in all - and next to that I didn't really
understand how that would be still an issue, regarded that - unless he'd literally wear my skin - he can't do that anymore. I propose though that I should be in
his life for some reason and happy about it. The main reasn why I should happy were then that I'd be cared for/about - and my function were to let everyone see
what a great person he is. Or she. For that other side to it; For which I apparently am however not man enough ... so ... whatever.
So, what I mean is - if you're that kind of person - that your minds functions are somewhat dirty we might say. You there had functions that make up the way you
live - things like putting on a shirt even - and while we do so we have thoughts, usually. So - if you do some craftsmanship you'd sooner or later start thinking
in ways of "this is how you do it" - as - formulating that 'handbook of professionality' in your head as you're going, even if you're doing it the first time
maybe. The problem with ego is that its really hard to make you change your mind about something - as aside of it being 'sometimes good' to admit failure; The gist
yet were that you don't make any - so the error would be someone elses who didn't know that he or she was responsible of telling you this or that.
Which at some point even takes us back to Nazi Germany or as for a more modern reference: 'Niflheim' (Final Fantasy XV) - by which I mean to address a generally
hostile idea of peace or freedom. You know ... that, fanatic/absolutistic one - where the peace could only be established by proper workers that live by them
rules - which you however can exclude yourself conveniently from. Like - once you removed all the whores because they defile the average humans mind - you can
take them all for yourself, because hey, who's gonna notice?
Which means that there are simple reasons why some can and some can't have it - whatever 'it' is at the time - while you're conveniently in the position where
you don't need to worry; As calling you compassionate would really be a joke! I mean it! A literal joke!
And so you're eventually taking this "God role" too seriously! We are all Gods - and as for my creative caps I'd say that I'm on a Level thats way beyond.
Arguably so that rather than myself, God were the artist - while as for myself however, the inspirations I get correspond to myself. As of that I wouldn't know
God differently - in terms of arts - than I would expect from "the God of art". God seems to think that perfection is boring - or too much of it, at the wrong
places, anyhow. God is thereby however rather a tool - allowing us to see more than we ordinarily would, without really being required to bend too much against
our own. Next to which there is Gods parental vein which effects and influences people from another end.
So - this is the part where stories kindof write themselves; Where you, regarding any story, would wonder: "How else?". That "first image" you got and sticks
with you - the plot-points you can't get rid of - the musts and can'ts - thats God doing his thing - and whoever made SW7 did, it seems, not earn that position.
I mean - there would be a legitimate take-over as based on Lucas confidently transferring the franchise rights over to someone he deemed worthy; Or an
illegitimate one that might have him compare the deal to selling his child to slave-traders. If you can't see behind the wrongs of Star Wars 7, you're either
not supposed to because you'd tell them things they shouldn't know - or you're too hung up on things you believe you couldn't change or are done right for all
that you know. So - I guess it first of all comes down to drawing a line of which business is whoms business.
Or what else should I tell you? About Cereylla for instance? Its not like an art-community has exiled me - but that "this very effective nonsense apparatus"
did. Maybe nothing transpired physically, to my knowledge anyway, but its not like I have been wrong either! (caugh, BvS, caugh).
So there is a hostility which I think is closely related to the pressure/demand for success - as we're technically at war - and their/your ultimately failure
is immanent - as you have to see that their/your course to victory is to outshine God in being God - which happens to be ultimately impossible - kindof. Well
maybe not as God is invisible and appearance is therefore one of Gods greater weaknesses - a weakness ultimately as large as the entire universe and more.
Well ... there is a more and more evident line though. Order vs. Life. Demand vs Sacrifice. Whatever is good vs whatever is bad!
So, what are twisted emotions? I mean - I should possibly be more careful about that. The problem isn't really there - that is rather the symptom of problems
- and I don't wanna dare my way too deep into that. I don't really have a clear vision there either. What I can see though is that 'unwinding' should help -
naturally. If you wanna do good and you see making a movie everyone will enjoy as the only way to do that; You're kindof selling it to yourself only, that you
really deserved that. God however won't be satisfied with that - and I know its kindof edgy to say that, but ... hmm - ... so, lets say it this way: I think
the cosmos wouldn't be entirely pleased as the more fundamental mindset isn't really there yet. As I have reasons to worry that all the good advise I'd give
would flow into some training program for the next level of djihadis. Or into increasing the efficiency of the infrastructure thats supposed to fuck me over!
In other ways; You'd want power - because power gives you wealth - and you'd end up with more and more power because other people like that would help you as
you'd help them and so you get into a reality of power and wealth - at the end of which you wouldn't want to give it up because you know nothing else - and thats
where you're no different to us; As we're also sad if we have nothing left! And thats why you need cheating in Destiny - because it wouldn't be 'your game' if
others had all the fun with it! Or if 'the elite' were none of you!
And so - to just let go of my frustration - you do it with everything! You're killing diversity by imposing your patterns onto everything - and if we're not
agreeing with you we're not taken seriously. Except when you're looking for inspiration and are as desperate about a good idea as very well everyone else might
be in that situation. And so you'd go and exploit a part of the population - at first without justification; Next to that telling yourself that they wouldn't
make it anyway or eventually to the point of annulating their rights to exist because you eventually found a way of moving on without them.
I mean, it seems to me that in this Antichristian idea of creativity, artistry has been eliminated almost entirely - to the point that all creativity that there
is, is only a matter of problem solving. Which yea, is I guess there - in first place - to avoid any kind of unwanted inspiration to sneak in - which is the point
where the snake is biting its own tail.
The idea may seem bulletproof - "when executed correctly" - but once the whole thing comes swinging around from the backside you're defenseless!
I wonder, how many "there is no way" things have I actually done already? How many holes have I already blown into that inpenetrable wall?
Well, none as we'd need your approval - so - except 'that one' ... up there.
But anyway ... you, I'm sure, see the errors. At least if you only calmed down a little - to see whats actually going on in your minds. You would thereby even
get closer to learning to listening to 'the whispers of God' - or am I really talking to the wrong ones there? I mean - anyway ... you see the problems; But
you're not capable of bending that way. Which is weird, or ironic, because ... well, you know.
So I'm actually wondering whether or not you/they really believe whether or not climate change is just a hoax! Which would tell me however that none of your/their
scientists is actually a real one - while what you are/were were a smart and educated person with nonetheless 'spoon-fed' knowledge that you apply for all the wrong
reasons.
As you are born into this wonderful new age of the internet - where a lot of people know little compared to what can be known - and you just know how to fit in or
so; Which can make you feel great - but only for as long as the rest complies to being morons. Kindof. Its so in this isolated realm of yours where everybody else
is unaware of what you're doing and so, for all that you cared about - doing nothing else - you did a great job; And in turn you get people addicted to or somehow
dependent on your thing - who get used to life being that way; That watching YouTube makes you smarter and is a way of making the world a better place.
So you finally orchestrate the world - and though you haven't done so before; You'd go on to believe that the whole thing would crumble without you.
But where did it start? Jealousy? Fear? Greed? Creed?
So essentially we're getting to what we might say is your/their 'Filter' - as how something that '(arguably) free/normal people do' gets into "the" (definitive)
System and gets forwarded - like, the Matrix. So you wouldn't shoot in your own foot - obviously - so we can wonder: What is this foot? What does the 'the Matrix'
thing harm? Me in Lights of what? I'd rather say that it breaks your superiority thats rather interested in apostasy than truth - because 'we' the (definitive)
Christians are all terrorists or something. So you would prey on what I do to expand your thing that is there to replace my thing - not seeing that all your good
intentions should perhaps maybe consider supporting me instead of yourself! Hmmm ...
Well, anyway, ... Destiny. As my contribution to the public productivity I would say that the game needs less useless stuff; More useful things to gain - as
for the point of it being called 'Destiny'; To make the whole of what a 'Guardian' finally is more dependent as composed of smaller things ... as to add weight
to the journey. That doesn't really come from my own ideas - and mine would not meet this entirely - but is therefore more objective. Else I'd say that the
game needs to be more satisfying to play single-player. A fancy jump-in idea I got, which may be totally not an option but I'll throw it out anyway - maybe its
inspiring somehow: Maybe try randomized Strikes ... I mean ... as one of the most desirable things to achieve about Destiny were a satisfying 'Fireteam experience';
But Crucible and Strikes being however not really enough! But however - I can't go any further because I'm supposed to not Sympathize with my enemy!
I mean - I'm just a genuinely good person and if I can give I want to give because I can't stand being the only one thats happy! I'm naive - thats maybe a better
way of putting it. And for one thing about the cheating in Destiny - you know it, maybe, already, that loosing won't kill you! And how do you ordinarily win? You
practice and practice until you're just and simply better than the other! So I guess the Antichristians have to find a way of spending their money a bit better -
and by better I don't mean: In their favour. I'd even say they should stick to not spending it in their own favour at all - as to even try the opposite!
Life is ... complex. As you might guess. Generally speaking. We are supposed to believe that we're the conseuence of this complexity, that a single cell organism
eventually evolved - and so on and so forth - which might tell us a story of how we're simply an example of perfect circumstances - kindof; As any other species
would have done something wrong to be what it is. The kindof ... thingy thing about it is though that we, more than any other species, perfect 'Sex'.
But no - we think, and we have bodies to adeuqately follow our own reason. Try building a watch with hoofs for instance! I mean, if you ignore all activity -
anything, once you're sitting comfortably on a chair in the middle of nowhere, that would require you to mobilize your will to get up for any kind of reason -
you get an enhanced idea of what 'life' 'is' - and maybe understand Tai Chi a bit better. Eventually all the Truths and Knowledge of the Universe are being
distilled into an endless void - and every human being emerges differently from it. If you then re-aquired 'your self' - as to step back into real life and
go and do anything - you shouldn't feel like you have been weakened; But you will if you're too blindly into activity. Naturally will your step back impair
that as you're getting out of 'activity mode'. But what are these actions about anyway? Things you do for a living - well - ignore that! It doesn't help or add.
Its just chaos. If you like doing what you're doing for a living its different. You have to see how you can filter yourself, how you can highlight various aspects
of yourself under different circumstances. And the first thing really is that you have knowledge about things you can do. From thereon you can build a pyramid -
and that pyramid is finally an up-pointed triangle out of purpose; That being to visualize how any actions you take at first are just your way of doing things;
Even if you claim that what you're doing is logical and should be done by everyone (because it isn't!). So you would move back - observe the situation and formulate
a logical approach; Which might just be your problem! First of all: Logic is flawed! Logically you can or however even have to rely on other people; The flaw however
being that you can't! For instance. As a ... rhetorical example. So in essence, with that mindset, you'd be 'ignorant' until you understand how to do something; And
eventually end up experiencing that 'rennaisance' as a major milestone in human history - as to eventually discrediting other peoples efforts by accounting them
as/for "no brainers" or whatever. If it gets 'her' horny its at first logical to abuse me to get her going; But I have my own ambitions - and being a condom isn't
really close to what I had on mind for 'my' Kingdom! In hindsight you did a mistake - you should have known better but you didn't! Time delivered wisdom - but it
didn't stop to move on there-after. Which you well know; And ultimately - the way I get it you will have to endure some heavy cognitive dissonance on your way out.
You'll have to let things slip through your fingers as you're trying to give yourself more space (well, irony) ... to find wisdom in the simpler things. Like,
being a nice person is gonna make it easier for you to be considered a nice person as opposed to backstabbing quite literally everyone on the earth - except for you
guys maybe. However. Although - being that kind of good is maybe a big no-no amongst them; But ... at that point they should see one thing that I am also kindof
OK with but not really the way they have it; Which is self-love. As far as I can tell, I guess its rather safe to say that God wouldn't screw anyone over for doing
the right thing. And if God does - well yea, it sucks! But being all vocal about it and threatening and itching for that Doomsday weapon ... that doesn't help either!
Its even the point. Lets say, God demanding due justice. You need to bow before God because else all the things God shows you Gods superiority by are gonna be insults
to you! You so want 'your' smarts to be credited - as you're pissed about how God thinks it for better - which is one way of getting screwed by God; But if your
attitude is oppressive and God only comes in to save me; Well, God is supposed to screw you, which kindof makes you the bad guy.
So you conspire with people that share your attitude - and in that you get an idea of how come others would conspire against you! On the other end you'd know that it
can't always be good if people are allowed to come together that way. You'll eventually establish a society thats supposed to lie at each other - which will continue
to exist because of bonds that have been made; "but fear not" ... as these bonds eventually go beyond those lies.
What I'm trying to get at would still be pretty obvious I guess. Every being grows forth from itself; And however we accumulate our acts, that is a part of it. Some
people are just good at arts because they suck up reality without being too eager to question beauty - as art simply were simply the best way of decorating that
reality. But maybe he'd go for being a botanist. I don't know. I mean, life goes deep. Certainly an artist needs some passion in some form of expression - and this
is about where I get to the point of how come that I'm not a real artist! I may have an artists mentality - but I rather have a scientists demand - and something
between A and B (B being the expression) there is a gap somewhere. I have visions I can draw - and its fun to use various tools to do so - and a scientific demand
is arguably good for making some kind of art - or taking it the way around - but the 'expression' bit of me isn't nearly as far in the center of it all as I'd need it
to be. Drawing to me is a skill - or first of all its a Talent to me - and evidently also a way to express myself - but my 'impulses to live' don't embrace that.
To understand life as true beyond the superficial, you would begin to understand that you can't truely know. If you can draw the one thing as bottom line, you'll
learn to accept the consequence. But so you'll eventually get a more nuanced understanding of that which is visible - but it doesn't come without respect for the
unknown. It can't! As you might know - an individual isn't always as a simple 1+1. Eventually it takes myriads of steps to even just so make up a '1' to begin with.
Our society would in deed happen to be a mess in process - one way or another. Kindof. I mean, the 'western world' is kindof a really gigantic achievement! Especially
since it emerged from freedom and liberty (private corporations as opposed to governmental facilities).
Its however another thing that took myriads of steps to shape - and is totalistically nonsense in hindsight - were it not for the few cherries we can pick from it
now and then. Here and there. Almost everywhere. Kindof.
Its finally just 1 thing that adds to a greater whole - after some subtraction - and before that subtraction; Its good for some time - until its only good for more and
more chaos!
And doom and destruction and racial discrimination and hatred and seclusion and suppression and genocide and ... and - and.
I have an end-time vision - kindof the end to a fascinating dream I remember I once had but totally forgot - where there finally are 5 world-powers left that fight for
dominance; And after one finally made a move of victory - the retaliation came upon it. Its what I see happening - with a faint feeling of satisfaction about it happening
- as the end is just the end for everybody and triggering that scenario were like hitting the self-destruct button; Which at this point seems easier than actually not
doing so.
And I get a cliche image from it. Kindof too cliche for me to ever even basically say, but, one way of keeping our fingers from that button is to reach out for the hands
of those around us - and hold on to them - holding on to them - until realizing that the best way to go were to just disable it.
You can though be a bit jealous at the Antichrist though, ... not for the reasons of power and influence - but because ultimately he's setup to ... even with music ...
"be the very best" ... [pokemon] ... while the best thing I can see him being is something like a big brother; Which would be that 1 thing he'd first have to build up -
which would be good because it would stop him from trying to look sympathic.
As for what Destiny 'was' - I guess I can take a wider swing at it and take the good, the bad and the ugly together. The gist would kindof be that it was the most fun
down a most luxurious toilet into the deepest shit that shit-creek had to offer I ever had! I mean, except for the skid-marks. I won't say that I'm perfect - and I
mean it by realizing that my jump-in idea above isn't really good or helpful - not in that form - but ... well ... I won't say anything. For a lack of everything.
The point though is - some things about this game give me a deeply bitter feeling that makes me wanna hate it with every fibre of my being - but I can't point a finger
on just what. Cheating would be an obvious answer - and yea - it does add quite a bit to it - although it should theoretically not matter. But it matters if I would
have won for instance. So - a load of stress for nothing but shiny legendaries that won't be worth the effort anyway because 'boom - headshoot (1000 yard stare)'.
So the game is eventually just about dollying around being cannon fodder once you hit level/light cap, depending on how far you're in, which then is about all that you're
doing the grid for - or looking a bit fancier than the rest while getting slaughtered. The worse part of it would be that feeling of getting owned while thats whats
essentially happening, more than just one way. And then there are times where I feel bad for owning everyone myself - so - ... whatever.
So it eventually just drags me down - but ignoring the PvP I really don't wanna talk bad about the game! Except when I get into my condescending art perspective ...
where I'm being really critical about what to like - ... so I mean that I had a fun time playing it. The Oryx Raid was great - I liked Wrath of the Machine so far -
but - I guess ... I'm fair when I say that everything behind the start button, thats the main menu, or, essentially I'm talking about the Character and its Loadout ...
isn't all that convincing! [buying the right of criticism through advice]. The NPCs also blurr out way to fast - metaphorically speaking. Anyway ... yurk, well ...
it even sucks to be 'normally honest' - as to be somehow forthcoming, even just in the slightest. So, there is this impression I get about someone - from things going
on in the physical world - someone who basically abuses your blindsidedness, so you draw a person in that blind spot that then comes up in plain sight whom you would
treat as the nicest person ever; ... I mean ... you wouldn't like him anymore if you saw who he was!
I mean - if everything you do is opposed by "because I have power" - your only motivation would at some point be to get hammer handed into your hands that is the fuck
large enough to knock him straight outof whatever he thinks is still acceptable to not get blown of.
Well, that also works as a way of saying how I liked Destiny. I mean - the shooting was fun; And the rest - well - it was meant to be a smooth experience and so they
took care of that ... whoop dee - am I now supposed to give them an award for it? What might that be? "Douchebags of the Century" or something like that! Kindof. I
mean - that is one way of looking at it - and for some reason I'm however in my motherly self - where I try to smile upon "the Children" and see the good that is in
them. Well, mostly - however. "Exept for" ... well, those that make you sigh every now and again - and you're tempted to just lock them away in some dark pit and
throw away the keys. (Not expecting that whatever would come out of there when opened could be any good. Like a terrible desease that would only get more
frightning).
So - I get it they were seriously trying and have some modest attachment to it - but thinking of teaching them the magic of art; Implying that there just cannot be
real artists amongst them ... thats at least how I relate to it for the most part ... I mean, ... I would argue that there will have to be some - and its something
I don't really like to say, because, ... it might give them wrong ideas. However. I'm also prepared to accept that the Antichrist can be different - and I guess that
is at some point also the purpose of the practice - that, we acknowledge that God did what God did for a reason - and that we so won't blame the Antichrist for things
that God did (unto him). We're all challenged to forgive him, compared to which I'm just a little pixie, ... while I guess the real thing that makes me a pixie for
real is an inner demand or challenge at myself to grow smaller and smaller - as basically an ideal of cutsieness. I guess at the bottom end you might find me sitting
on a stick, I would want to withdraw from the picture and fall down backward - eventually catching myself as image of my awareness about the cutsiness of that
situation.
I mean - at some point I guess I would move away from that - but only to further establish my acquired cutsiness into cutsinesses you won't even be able to imagine;
I guess. I mean ... whatever. Lets ... ignore that.
Which makes me an evil witch I guess!
Thats different - but not too much. I only happened to be lucky - though from some different standpoint you'd call that unlucky too. Its ... lets just say that in
terms with God I've been lucky - and so I got things going my way sooner than everyone else; Because God was sooner more easily pleased with me! Which sets up the
whole 'why I am 'the one'' thing. God would have been so pleased with me, that God would take me into Gods reserve; To basically slingshot me into an impossible
situation just to make me shine - breaking through the utmost darkness or whatever - as 'state of the art' consequence of human-God cooperative building.
A thing I wouldn't brag with - but might have - is my 'composition'. I mean, its ... something on way to the 13th Seal; Being given a mind-sword that flurries around
and causes havoc until you learn to contain it - and eventually strengthens into an armor. You could imagine it like being given a weight - a pendulum - into your
mind - and how straight it fell and how silently it rested there would be a measure of 'skill'. The weight is to say that it responds to all kinds of mental activity,
like mass/matter responds to all sorts of physicals laws. I wouldn't brag with mine because I have that "unawoken awareness" that I'm actually pretty weak. I mean -
some parts of my mind simply interfere with my composition too strongly ... which is I guess Gods hotspot for making me do what God wants ... so, you get that "perfect
mix" maybe - so, I have divine composition - but that is something everyone had at some point; For 'outside correlations'; Though it gets clear that inwardly a lot of
it is far from being a personal effort - while invertedly we could wonder how much composition is added/enhanced by God. A higher composure would essentially make you
smarter - except God helped me enough of course!
The thing with growing the way I learned it is that terms for instance become fluid - in a way that they become less relevant to what you are - so you can grow more
freely to a point of higher satisfaction - to then look at those terms again and figure out what they say. Alternately you could craddle yourself through lifetimes
of error and success stories. But anyway. I think I'm done here. And if I'm not - I hope that it cannot be all that important!
Uhm ... well, lets see. Dear readers: I think we all agree that cheating is bad. Especially in a game as this. Yet, how easy is it for us to ignore that? Easy, because,
what can we do? Right?! This way we're getting it rubbed into our faces, so I have to add a 'minus' to the 9/10, to make it (-9)/10. I mean, at some point this isn't
about you and me - but either way; Its only good for one point: To understand how tight we got to stick/grow together before we can hope to accomplish anything!
A letter @ the Antichrist
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2017.01.03 - 19:24