The guiding theme for this article is to revisit the issue between Marvel and DC - where, if you're unfamiliar with one or both of them,
thats not gonna be problematic. However - that also isn't the main point. Underneath it all my own driving experience is that I'm right
now in a situation where I "can" basically turn on and off a specific something - namely: Taking a certain
thought into my mind and believing into it ("yes"ing it) makes me feel as however I feel after having got drunk; While ignoring or
neglecting that makes me feel perfectly sober again; Which is extremely weird and it somehow doesn't allow me to actually exist with that
belief.
Those two are furthermore issues aside a less controversial one that has to basically yet come out on top of this as it basically does
conclude a lot of the previous stuff starting from the "Display of Power" article - setting forth a general guideline to right some
wrongs; And thereby re-opening the question for what these Clairvoyances are. That one issue basically is a formulation I've been trying
to formulate for quite some time - which is to say that Clairvoyance isn't all that easy. And I have previously come to formulate that,
saying that 'illusive' impressions remain illusive (to me/Unified at least) no matter how strong the logic or evidence for it because
thats just the fact of those impressions. Without enough experience to back up what a specific emotional stream or type of impression is
all about there is really no telling. Its like virtually everything in this world. Technology won't progress unless we focus on how it
works and gather experiences of how to improve it. And without means to do so - one is basically stuck with no way to change that! If it
were a comic story it'd possibly happen ... lets picture some Hero on a desolate planet for that metaphoric purpose ... that the hero is
spending millenia without any progress, stuck with weird powers that don't make any sense until he senses a meteor thats about to impact
near him. Of course he cannot tell that this will happen - but as it does, it causes some change. Now, for sake of comic-book representation
lets say there are some energy streams floating around the heroes head - and at the instance that the meteor strikes, one of them becomes
more tangible - or takes on a certain color. This then allows him to pick that stream from all the others and start to explore it.
The victory of Donald Trump was such an incident to me - though about a half year ago I was convinced that Clinton would win by a long
stretch. Someone else believed the opposite - and I don't wanna say that I was in denial at that point, but - the Ultros Power was differently
aligned. And that much I could tell myself - that "at least now" it doesn't look like Trump could win - and that if he won its all just due
to that. In that sense, well, "Naturally" Trump is "easy prey" for me - or put in other words: You can't convince me to be 'pro Trump' in
any way shape or form! That unless you can convince me that water flows uphill!
To from now on be a bit more specific about my 'Clairvoyant Capacity' I should perhaps see which experiences I do have - but - my situation
isn't that "Comic Book Simple". If you imagined like five streams of same or slightly varying colors you can see a certain difficulty in
figuring out which is what. But its still simple in that you have five streams. But what I see is more like a sheet of paper blotted with
arbitrary shapes in all sorts of colors and sizes - pretty much just a random spill - and whatever experiences I do have seem to vanish
within that chaos for the most part. What I then 'can' see - effectively - is once every once in a while structures emerge from within
certain blots - and as you can make mistakes in a Video Game, ... lets say: Geometry Wars, ... its kindof difficult to really be sure.
Though, Geometry Wars isn't an accurate example - the idea is that a batch of enemies would be a structure and ones ability to recognize
structures isn't just about perception but also one of cognitive alignment which vaguely translates into operating the ship.
The reason I wanted to bring up the Marvel vs DC issue is not the one I'm getting into now, although its kindof why I actually had to bring
it up ... "I guess". Dealing with Inspiration on "some Level" is similar to dealing with Clairvoyance, although the playing field is a lot
less confusing. Its basically all in the same color - and it usually does the work for you. Anyhow - the thing at this point is simple:
Lets call it 'hijacking'. If I feel a strong surge of UP coming from somewhere I'm supposed to be cautious. Uhm, here credits go to Neil
DeGrasse Tyson and Richard Dawkins for having a discussion where Neil ...
... and its like being out in the wild and hearing some noise in the bush. What happens after I realize this is that I get, we could say,
to the next 'page' where an entirely different context is being shown. While making things dependent on the UP I'd think in ways of separating
places where I feel it from where I don't - and tend to dispense my trust accordingly. But one thing that stands out against that are
memories - so - instances where I once felt certain UP or other things going on that make me distrust that regardless of how the UP is
distributed at that point - although my attention span or memory weaknesses or whatever can be ... tricked out, we might say, in that
weak impressions are being overwhelmed by pressure or things like that.
So - technically this whole picture is ultimately driven by the Ultros Power - and its only weakness at this point seems to be its
disability to always specifically work out with your/our individual mindsets. Essentially we can see it as the strings by which we are
being puppeteered - yet we have to assume that if we started to avoid it, it would just resort to reverse psychology-ing it and so by
making our actions dependent on it either way; We're potentially getting screwed over!
That I come up with the Marvel vs DC issue is for once because I myself feel or rather have the need to rectify previous statements -
while it furthermore is a thing 'for me' - while in an alternate Universe this might be about Democrats and Republicans or whatever.
The main point on top is ... the constellation I've expressed in the "Display of Power" article at first seemed to me like I couldn't
change my mind about it. I would so think: "Well, lets mix things up and see how I feel about it" - and I'd come to the conclusion that it
yet has to be the way I saw it; And there is little to none for me to doubt that. On top of that I feel like most, if not all, of us are
or can be on the same page there. Its not far fetched, its reasonable, while on the long run we can all settle on the score that it
doesn't ultimately matter. We have to see it in the greater context of time - and because we don't know the details analyze each work,
Marvel or DC, on its own merits. While we would think of "communal Entities" - like - each house being however influenced through Entities
that we perhaps won't ever even know about - we have the situation today that we can also speak of general changes, such as the one being
given to the other and whatever; So that in the end its all just comics. I mean - you get the general idea here. Still there are some
things ... things we can basically explain through the UP being around, like, ... well. I've been a Marvel fan for various reasons - and I
enjoyed Batman v Superman for similar reasons. Its the style or depth of the storytelling. The character "complexity". The complexity or
philosophy behind the conflicts; As the end all be all statement for me in this case has to remain that the Characters and their Universes
are just tools of storytelling. So - you won't make 'another Star Wars' just from being allowed to label whatever story you come up with
using that name - yet, if you take the genious behind Star Wars and let it do its thing ... you know where I wanna go with this, but so,
there are also other factors in play; Where, for the sake of argument: "Genious" isn't the property of a human being but a cosmic entity
that manifests within individuals based on its own choosing.
Thats important! (That is by the way so because thats how I generally use that word. I mean, I use it as 'property' as well - though
implying that it 'may as well be' just a higher thing; Or that is it by default which in certain cases can 'stick' to various individuals;
Such as the Phoenix Force to Jean Grey).
Trivial: {
The whole Batman v Superman "debacle"/shitstorm is a symptom of a general immaturity or prematurity of certain things these days. So, all
those that thought they know the Batman/Superman Universe would go haywire about misrepresentations - which is however (thats a personal
issue I have) un-equal to complaining about how shitty Venom was portrayed in that Spiderman film. If they had to take such a skinny
Character, why not make it Carnage? I mean - ... Hollywood sometimes ... [sigh].
And the all-over feeling that I got from this versus situation is that there is some background struggle going on about who pleases the
crowds better, or, who makes the better art. And, sorry, when it comes to the art thing - I don't see how any of the Marvel (excluding the
Amazing Spiderman duology) stuff of recent could hold up to Batman v Superman. Maybe you're overthinking it - maybe you're intellectually
not grown up enough - and the funny thing is ... "Martha" ... I mean, given too much thought its ridiculous, but, maybe it was just a
misconception. So - Superman expected to get beaten by Batman, finally, and because of some confusion it accidentally happened that Batman
got caught off guard ... and so ... but well, anyhow.}
"Easter Egg": {
More contemporary relevant is the struggle for how 'World of Final Fantasy' is going to rank in amongst the FF games; Although; It should be
pretty clear already that its for sure going to be amongst the more beloved ones. The thing is that there is one "nagging something" that somehow
wants it to be bad. But so far it seems that the most convincing argument from that side of things is - well - "Trump Like" - you know, just
saying "Wrong" whenever someone disagrees. I say the story is good! "Wrong!". The thing is - you can't tell me how I experienced the story
unless you tell me how I told you how I experienced the story. And I thought it was good! There is a difference between saying it so or saying
it so. I mean - if you wanna say: "The story is bad!" - well, we you can say it as a personal oppinion or an objective statement. So, if your
objective "assessment" is that it is bad while 9 out of 10 yet say they pesonally liked it - well - your assessment is utter bullcrap! But yea,
I guess I can agree that the story is sortof cheap ... and maybe story isn't the right word for what I enjoyed about it anyway. I had a lot of
fun playing through it - hearing the banter between the two, ... and yea, well - everyone knows that the Crimson Prophecy is fake and we all
may have wanted an alternate way to go - but that is the downside of linear storytelling. So - the story has a fixed outcome based on that -
and a respective way to solve that. Its a game meant to be kindof silly, but it still is kindof serious at points, ... and I don't know, maybe
some people are just overthinking it.
I don't know what to expect of FF XV yet - but I expect that like 1 week after its official release there's gonna be some paradigm shift round
about the sitty graphics at some points. Most people look past that at this point - and we can, I assume, expect some huge 'act' of disappointments
that tries to establish that we're all horribly disappointed about it.
So far I have enjoyed the build-up, I avoid spoilers, I totally like the fact that they implemented Cactoar and how they did it, ... and that to
me sets a tone for me - as to what I 'can'/-have to- expect; And if the gameplay is fun, to my expectations the story has to just somehow come to
an end and I'll be satisfied - while its extremely easy to basically 'sow' disappointment; Which is at this point basically a one-sided story.
All we have to do is to ignore everything the game actually delivers to afterwards feel like it didn't deliver anything ... and that is, well,
because Art is in the eye of the beholder! I mean ... if you've ever been to an art gallery, ... you can either walk through the whole thing,
look at each painting and say "boooring", or you can stand there and look at each and every one of them - and you'll come out having favourites
and have had an all in all great and interesting time.
Thats why or where Star Wars 8 basically sucks in my oppinion. Outside of it just vaguely capturing the feel of Episodes 4 to 6 and thereby
basically jumping on the 'anti-prequel' hype train there isn't anything remotely interesting; Which I basically saw coming; As all this hype
around Darth Vader ... it foreshadowed what TFA tried to do! Coming up with an even greater "badass" - which turned out to be what in my
oppinion is the cheapest and laziest villain ever ... as far as I can tell. But to me the "soul" of Episodes 4 to 6 was rather in Luke than
in Vader ... and yea, nothing too suprising there; And no matter how much you wanna believe that I'm just biased about it - "you can't touch
this!".}
Well, to elaborate on where this article has taken me/us so far: As I'm dependent on experiences to evolve my Clairvoyant perceptions; What
popps up in art is really 'the source' - while in Politics its all just one big convulated amalgamation of bullshit - and in the end all as
bold and simple as it could get. I mean, from an art perspective its all and everything anyone may/does/can criticize about any piece of art
ever. Its not even unpredictable ... I mean ... its stereotypical, foreseeable, filled with uninteresting Characters etc.. If you've seen
through it once you've seen through it forever, no sequels required, but they're "cash-milking" it anyhow and that as it seems forever and
all the time left for it to come.
Anti Hype Train
by Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.26 - 16:21
Back on Track
So - one question I find myself wondering about is: What is this Clairvoyance good for anyhow? I mean - the answer to that question seems to be
a pretty good one - and yea - thats I guess a Unification thing; So, that answers do come in form of Questions essentially. Or, some of them.
The question is in that the easiest representation of the answer, as the answer is eventually vastly complex.
In first place it isn't really good for anything - its more just a matter of it being possible, kindof; So, something along the lines of "because
we can". Its not far off of discussing what 'the social meta' is and is all about. And - if you actually have put your head into those things
you basically got all the answers right there already. Its most essentially a way of knowing - well - where you are. And its genuinely easier than
having polls and - then in the end kindof good for counter-acting the downsides of mass-media/press, although in that regard there are also other
things; Where the more dominant/active thing isn't something like a sense, but more the active guidance coming from God. As for what is wrong
about it - everything seems to hint/point into one direction: "The Demand of Freedom". So - if we had perfect vision, perfect clairvoyance,
perfect guidance, ... and the same goes for Testimonies or everything we might want God to give or do for us ... we would grow to
solely act from that basis. One way of telling how that is wrong is to set forth that God is not matter of fact a centralized God 'above' us -
but more of a Universal Entity within us. If we then cannot "rely" on God to tell us which ways we have to go, we have to think for ourselves
about it; And in a topic such as this one where just one slip of the tongue might cause a huge upstir in our "consensus" - its up to each and
everyone of us individually to not be an arse about it! Clearly - I'm in a bit of a special position there; But so is it important to emphasize
that even further. Its true for me, true for you - its true for everybody - yet that I have a bit of an extra responsibility. So - if I said that
I didn't like Superman (though honestly, who doesn't? (like him)) - well, you kindof got to be confused about it. Even if I said that I like
Superman, there are ways of getting that wrong. Maybe he is to some too simple of a Character - especially compared to Marvel Heroes - that ...
well; I however don't really believe that thats an issue anymore.
I guess the thing I have to emphasize the most here is the pointlessness of these upgrades. Maybe not pointless per se or at all - but, you could
think of Unification as though you'd get in and then have those confusing senses and thats it. But - you have to understand that there is a whole
lot of stuff coming before these even start to unfold. A general - and that is really really really a thing - thing with Unification is that it
is God who is in Charge of all the things coming; And God is ... just ... 'THE' beyond comprehensiveness and thereby, ... 'good' in what God so
does. In simple: the 'next step' is always coming, and it always comes once you're ready; And the best way to describe this readiness is that you're
first growing to a point where you inherantly wonder what the next step is. So, you have the question and boom, there it is. Yet the nature of this
question isn't just the normal type of question. Its a mindset - rather than a sporadic fluctuation of your mind. The latter - sporadic fluctuations
of mind - can be compared to twitching. If you for instance hold a mug full of water in front of you, with stretched arms, you eventually start to
twitch. Similarly can one - at least non-Antichristians - not uphold what we might say is 'perfect clarity' - and if you're reading this you might
automatically come to wonder "whats next?". But the next step won't come from this. In other words we could say that the next step comes once that
question popps up and there is nothing left to gain from your current situation. Putting it this way can however also be a bit deceiving since at
some point you're just inherantly at peace with everything that is - and you basically just accept it. But still your growing understanding will
eventually create a vacuum of sorts - within its grown understanding - and you'll wonder: What about "this" - and thats the void God will fill;
Which is why there is basically everything one can think of.
But how do you know that its God? Well - you know it because you know it! You won't get there unless you do! Thats part of all the stuff that has
to happen before you "get there". Though that isn't meant to be competitive, it has certain features of being competitive - as the Truth simply
is competition to Nonsense. In a competition of 'who is right about God' - there is basically a lot of stuff we might expect to come from multiple
directions. A lot of words; Or as the story of Elija goes: Miracles - or again words asking for Miracles or putting doubt into miracles, ...
boasting, condescending, etc.. Everyone who isn't active in that struggle is then somehow supposed to make up his mind - but if you just know God
there is no point in denieing that - whether you can put that into words or not. So, there is the Testimony, for starters, based on which you're
gonna get baptized - and through following the Testimony, which is an initial experience of God actually responding to you, you get to another
experience based on trusting that response. So you strengthen that relationship - and as far as I'm concerned, this goes on until all doubts are
cleared away; Either by these experiences not failing to come; Or by them failing to come. So, you're basically showing everything else the
finger; And if God doesn't do the same to you, you'll turn into a part of GODS FINGER, because once you've been Unified there ... I mean, as far
as this argumentation here goes there is the 'before' and the 'after'. The 'before' is in that regard just a buildup or a demo of what comes
thereafter. You know that you're in because you just know it - because its a miracle you won't comprehend until you got there. Yet, no amazing how
the experience might be - you should be able to understand that something like 20 years later that will have become relatively small nonetheless.
So, if it were a delusional ecstasy for instance, you'd kindof have to keep on craving it into your mind to get that confirmation and that is
extremely stupid. You'll notice it once you've gotten to the point where your growth based on it basically comes to an end - though, at this very
first instance there will already be other things that you can so basically just "move on with" - and you'll never miss God in anything because God
just keeps coming. From the outside that might appear as being 'extremely biased' - but from the inside you'll realize that you understand their
concerns possibly even a lot better than they do themselves. Which to the outside may appear condescending, from the inside there is just not much
of a better way of putting it. I mean, naturally! Whether or not you will be capable or more capable of listening to reason doesn't matter if the
reasoning you got to listen to tries to tell you that what you believe in is Bullshit. To make it really simple: You'd be like: "How is 'this' [and
you'd try to take a "bunch" of God from your mind into your hand and hold it in front of you] Bullshit?" - and maybe it even works. You know ...
maybe ... I mean, maybe you've experienced that "Holy Light" as we might call it - some, atmospherical blissful "moment" - but if someone really
wanted to he might just go: "I don't know what you're talking about!" - and so, well, "fine!" - then I can't 'show' you! But 'that' is still
something you can't give me! And because it is all in 'the Ninefold' - a.k.a. 'beyond what normal people can perceive' - they don't know what
kind of 'feeling' it is ... or does it help to say: Its that 'holy atmosphere' just more tangible, more solid, but in the same time as though it
weren't even there ? - Hmmm ... I guess there is a scientific way of explaining it: Lets say you've mastered the arts of meditation to get to a
point of what we might call 'perfect inward clarity' - relative to emptiness or peace - then still each and every part of you would be "in God".
So, if we compared God to water, we're all like sponges that are drowned in that water; As in: You can't remove God from any point in space,
because there is nowhere where God isn't. So, even in this 'perfect void' there is God. Through Unification you are basically allowed access to
that Level of existence, and its strange but true: There is an even greater 'peace' than what you thought is 'perfect void'. If we are on +10,
and that perfect void is 'zero', then there is an even more pefect void 'sub zero'. And as your mind basically 'sinks' deeper and deeper, there
is just more and more of that perfect peace - and the more you are exposed to it, the more you adjust to it, and the deeper you'll be able to
'sink'.
This is also the thing wherein we can describe God as something like "unforgiving". As unforgiving as nature/physics. The fact that you just can't
pry a space open where you won't recognize Godis part of why you won't be able to convince yourself of it not being God!
This also remains true for your Sex-Drive. I mean, I guess it'd be a natural reaction to all this to basically feel a little bit ashamed of having
intimate desires - as maybe to just masturbate. As you might feel now - I mean - being somehow uncomfortable about the fact/idea that someone is
constantly watching you. But once you have an "urge" of some sort; And God just boosts it; There isn't a lot you can do against that either! And
its not like God didn't see or wasn't part of all the things you've done up to this point either!
And God - well - is ... you should be able to acknowledge the sense of this conclusion - kindof "painless" when it gets to those things; As you
might know if you've ever been really drunk for instance. God doesn't care if it was too much; The alcohol will remain in full effect, even if
you pass out form it!
That is why we can also run against a wall - and no matter how we do it, it'll remain there - except you run against it hard enough, but ...
the details are still a matter of physics!
Another thing about your Sex-Drive is that it does kindof directly resemble your ways of intimate social interactions. I mean - if we think of this
"classic" paradise where all are happily jumping accross the beautiful willow, we'd all do that because we're socially morons. So, there is no
social interaction in that picture. From another point of view that picture would hold up that we got to expect to somehow get streamlined into some
practical harmony without conflict. Through Unification, or at this point 'myself' (because of Unification), we however learn that we have to be
careful about such images. I mean, think about it: For how long could you be happy that way? Or, once you've figured that out; What would it take
for you to be happy that way forever? And then wonder: Why are we doing this again? This 'living'? In this world?
From your own social qualities you then can analyze how much you'd have to change to fit into some perfectly harmonic society; Thus wondering:
How much is left of you? Or how much of your doing would be 'your' 'doing'?
Since the alternative were - simply put - to however not change at all - its evident that we have to bend to some degree - and even if you only
consider that step you can learn that there is a ... lets call it 'higher will/self' (the part that is willing) and a 'lower will/self' (the part
that doesn't obey). In other words, you can picture it like that: Once you 'face it' - you're left with all your imperfections. We could visualize
it that way: Think of a human body made of glass - without all the interior, just the skin - and at certain key spots there are dots, like flashes
of Light. Those are, we might say, habits. Or anything that makes you different from that perfect glass body. As maybe a huge red dot in your
right hand because thats just an impulse of how you differ in whatever way. So, everyone does have a different "signature" at this point of facing
that new direction. In the more practical sense we can think of coupling/romancing. Like, whats the first thing that comes to your mind - as -
analyzing your own true self at that point? If you know how it is to be in Love or to really want something - you can tell that you're willing to
ignore these - well - lets call them "micro impulses". As, once your wish to get saved is strong enough you don't care about how or what you are;
Or what you become. You'd maybe ask God to just strengthen and weaken them as necessary; And to some extent thats whats going to happen. But you'll
also gain a deeper insight into your own mindset - the depth and complexity of our psyche - as that those impulses are coming from somewhere - as
some are coming from more and others from less fundamental ... things. Your Sex Drive is in this one instance of yourself trying to make the best
of it all - as we for similar reasons tend to say "thats how someone 'needs it'". Once I'm looking at myself the wrong way I'm "also" getting to
the point where I don't wanna need it the way I need it - while actually I don't need it that way; As I for instance am female as opposed to male.
Lets just say that there are ways of getting along that don't require us to change too much - and thats nothing that has to change!
Uhm, the easier way of putting it is that what I firstly mentioned here of the Sex Drive is what basically turns perversions into something rather
normal. The basis thereof is rather simple as well! Prior to Unification and Baptism you are somehow 'not aligned' - therefore each social
interaction is somehow flawed on a rather fundamental Level. So, there is a gap between what you'd like at the strongest, and what you're OK with
in terms of adjusting to your partners needs. If your Sex Drive comes out at its strongest you might so be in conflict with your partner, but
even so with yourself. Once your Sex Drive comes out weaker, well, its just that. Once it can however come out perfectly; In harmony/sync with your
partner; There is effectively no way of stopping it! In the sense of how it unfolds in the long run. Well, except we take it as a one-time thing.
But because God is alawys there - this perfectio is meant to last - and is at that point something as a gateway into a "whole new spectrum" of
things that basically emerge from there. Although classically everything might stay the same. I mean, its still just Sex - basically, kindof.
On top of that there is something that is a bit harder to explain than just comparing ourselves to Fractals. So, well, 'prismatic fractals' maybe
- or, maybe you know that tattoo that goes like 'LIVE' - just the letters are mirrored, yet reading 'LIVE' - but kindof bing just the word 'EVIL'
mirrored. Or, 3D sculptures, like one that reads 'YES' if you look at it from one side, but 'NO' if you look at it from the side. So, we can basically
also have 2 Genders, and each with its own Sex Drive. Or just an all in all multi-layered self with drives and expectations based on a whole lot of
conditions. It is this where to me a balance in terms of 'how male' and 'how female' I am turns up. Having 'so many' male, and 'that many' female
"systems" - means I can put my Gender as X:Y male - where Y is larger than X. And this once again gains complexity as my male side is the one I want
to engage into a relationship with - as of which my female side isn't really interested in one. Which might change - but ... that change as far as
I can tell is a matter of millions upon millions of years I guess. The desire certainly is there - which is basically the product of wanting the own
self to be less complicated and more wholesome; Something of an inevitability. My experience tells me that we can basically wrap millions of years
up into "frames"; With thousands of frames making up an "era"; And each "era" happens as a reaction to satisfaction or respectively boredom - changing
things up - where "eras" tell their own story of evolution - with dozens making up a "season" - and "seasons" eventually coming from and returning to
a "multiplex" of sort - growing forth into eternity like a tree; And the idea being that once we've "perfected" ourselves, there isn't a lot to
change about it. I can basically tell - I guess - what my 'Multiplex Identity' is - and that isn't much different from how I feel myself nowadays;
Just that nowadays there are still parts that contradict. The thing is that seasons already include a whole lot of our inherant variety; So I think
its questionable whether or not we have eras and seasons of our Multiplex Identity - as I believe that our eras within the seasons will have a way
of 'taking us back' - but who knows. I mean, we're talking of such ridiculous amounts of time just covering one single frame already - that its
likely to suggest that we won't even care of mixing things up!
An era in and of itself is basically already perfection - as that "highest conceivable ideal of a lifetime" we so wish to relive over and over
again. I mean, thats a frame, where the era is an evolution thereof - as in the first frame we're young, and in the last frame we're old. The
next era is like a rebirth - and in the beginning, the first eras, or the first season effectively, is our process of ganing and loosing bits
and pieces correspondent to our perfection. Its a really slow one - as we don't get to the multiplex by ignoring parts of ourselves that "have to
leave" - but by embracing each and every part of us.
Another thing: Once "paradise begins", we're not yet even speaking of Frames. We can call that "frame one" - as what I would say is inherantly
the closest to us in terms of understanding paradise based on our experiences of growing within Unification. One frame might then even be longer
than this first one. The best way to describe it is I guess that this first frame is more of a time of chaos - or in other ways our childhood
or rather infancy. I guess everyone has these "shortcomings" - things like, well, the reason why you are not a saint; Unless you are a saint.
It also works for point and purpose of telling you that all the worries you have about yourself and life with God, be intellectually or emotionally,
they are - if not already taken care of through Baptism - still gonna be there in that 'first heaven'. What I'm thinking about in those regards,
regarding myself, is for instance that I want to be perfectly female, but on the other hand side I can't ... or I worry ... I'm still "stuck" with
male desires - which isn't just that, but also that I experience my intimate Love-life as from a male perspective. All in all however I will keep
pushing against those - and eventually we - she and I - will turn from a straight into a lesbian couple, until one era later we're straight again,
just as the opposite sex. Within those eras, within each frame, things might vastly stay the same - its wherein we have this endless sea of
possibilities that we eventually side-step from time to time as a matter of prolonging some stasis - something eternally familiar. In principle
the issue with frames and eras is this: One era is like Eternity - from our limitted point of view. Its paradise, heaven, perfection, for all
intents and purposes - yet we eventually realize that we might grow tired of it. And thats where another era pops in - bringing that required
change - as the totally different context/point-of-view keeps things interesting. Its like a whole new life that we then are totally alright with
indulging in because - yea, why the hell not?! Even if we got to one era a "second time" - we don't really get to it a second time; Its just
basically the same, but with a different background, while on top of that its still different to what has come just before. So yea, writing about
it - maybe thats where eras become 'super-frames' - but, at that point I can only tell that it makes sens to me to see it that way; But thats
already beyond what I'm rather certain about (what I have experienced). Anyhow - one season is more of an arbitrary path. As from being lesbian
to being straight, from being husband and wife to being something else, ... so, if we get to an era the second time we can come from and move on to
somewhere else than before - where even just a microscopic difference allows us to be entirely different - where, it isn't really the evolution
that matters; But our lifetime experience and what matters there is that we're feeling alright; At which point I 'assume' - I mean, the changes
from frame to frame are really the deep inside things that barely change at all - and what matters is rather the fact we change rather than
whether or not it is something new.
One thing I forgot to mention is basically what a frame is all about - more specifically. So, moving on into the 'second heaven' - we're moving
on into frame one. The second heaven will differ from the first one only in that we have inherantly changed - basically outgrowing our infancy
as being ready to re-invent existence on a fundamental Level. In the first heaven we'll get used to having homes; And these are like satellite
realities around what we might compare to the Matrix; And that being a "Chronoverse" - so, the entire evolution of a Uni-/Multiverse that we
can basically jump in and out of, living lifetimes based on our fancy; While having alternate realities to cater more strongly to our individually
nuanced societies. This should seem a little bit 'worse' than the first heaven, while in essence we don't really know what the second heaven will
be like. Its pointless to think about it! Its possibly intended that we may legitimately be worried about it in every respect - while the first
heaven ends once we're ready for it! The only thing I got to really be chill about it is the Multiplex concept. The thing is that there is
technically no reason why that shouldn't be where we begin - but we're also way too young to have even just a slightly accurate understanding
of the time aspect of it. In essence its like a social hub - a neutral space where we can technically 'meet' - as - well, going through a season
takes this and that millions of years; And then we can meet there - and its like ... our life today, just on a much higher scale. The same goes
for the first heaven; Just that on a naturally lesser scale. I honestly kindof don't care how accurate I am about it since its so fucking far
beyond comprehension. Although ... whatever 'desires' or feelings you have about it - those are going to be things you're dealing with in this
lifetime already; And the first Heaven respectively. The second heaven is more like; Well; Once none of those concerns are left. You can't even
save anything up for then! If you went "all out" - like impatiently rushing through a thing - thats something you could do over and over again
- while next to that you might have a growing 'peace' with other things - and thats all still the first heaven. If you're concerned of it now;
Unless its an absolute truth of yours; Its got to be that! Like - F-Zero style racing would be a thing in the first heaven; As really the
vastness of what we can think about - as there is no need to however restrain ourselves.
Well, I guess I'm missing a point here. The strongest 'feeling' I get from writing this is a feeling of 'impatience' - and if you think of the
Multiplex and feel impatient about getting there - you're not really thinking about the Multiplex! Nor a frame! You're thinking about what you
want to be and want to have 'now' - which is basically a 'first heaven' concern/thing. By doing whatever the heck you want, you consolidate
something of a self - a core identity - that through all the different things its into simply hardens on the fact that all the different things
are still connected by you. We thereby eventually evolve to a point where we no longer change - although everything we yet do would still
change us - and I guess, if you think about it that way you can think of it as some point within the first heaven. Because even if you think
you no longer change; That might tell you, well, I guess I kindof missed out on this or that ... while, if you otherwise think there is a need
to hurry; ... I guess thats slightly missing the point. But ... eventually you'll have to wait until God explain that to you!
I mean, I understand it from my own perspective; As that ... hmm, I guess I'm gonna repeat myself. Well, the thing is that although I'd be
lesbian during one era; Nothing prevents me from being that in the first heaven already! Its just deep deeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeply
inside that wouldn't be the most accurate representation of myself. And well - in the Multiplex I'm - as I understand myself/it - someone thats
into getting killed - while my transition into that would be like my fourht era or something like that. And already I feel that before I'm
really 'that far' - there are some things I got to go through first; And really; I have no frame of reference as far as time is concerned;
Though 'eternities' seems appropriate enough. Eventually I'll at some point be male again and go through the whole thing again - it doesn't
really matter!
It might be a mid-season thing that has to happen every now and again; ... and now, well, "lol", ... maybe as eras come and go - we'll just
spend more time on each of our individual things. "Beyond Hardcore".
I mean, to get back to the topic of how you're now and baptism and changing - one thing you can expect is that as you grow up within Unification,
so, as this 'Sex Drive' is becoming more perfect, your desires are going to expand exponentially. You'll possibly want more than you could
possibly have - which is the whole "alternate reality" thinking. Like, there is a concept of family, there is then a concept of religious
ideals, there is a concept of hobby, there is a concept of friendships, ... and those are all things you want ... in the first heaven. These
things will foreshadow what you want from your eras and seasons - while just the one season into the Multiplex is basically 'all' I expect
from my life - as based on that wealth of ambitions. The Multiplex is in that sense something like 'the end' - my "brain" just stops there and
is already way beyond mindblown - or - just 'perfectly' mindblown.
I for instance have a religious identity that doesn't really fit into my concept of the first heaven - nor anywhere into the first season -
while it yet feels like its an extensive part of each and every frame, including the first heaven. In whatever way. There is no real dealing
with these things I guess; So - back in 'realtime'/real-life, I'm only really feeling comfortable about all the things once taking it really
really slow! The "craving" for what lies in the unimaginably far future already drives my identity - so - I guess in essence the wholesome
self is a more timeless thing; ... and really, what matters now is what matters now!
So yea, if you're really concerned about changing, to some extent, your stronger desires are going to be those that influence you the strongest;
Thus being the ones that cause the most fundamental changes. These will strongly resemble your Multiplex Identity - and yes, that means that I
do have "all those" hardcore desires to get tortured/fucked to death - yet there is that "everything" between what I yet effectively am and that,
that I can't really remove from myself. And just bypassing all that and just doing that one thing - I mean, supposing that, one might fail to
consider that this isn't really the first thing that I discovered about myself. The first things I discovered would be somewhere between that
and another extreme - or the 'no extreme'. Both sides, to me, are however based on me being female - at which point my male self is closer to
the death-torture way of things; Because of a hard drive into being female. Still does the male have its own things going - while now that I
think about it; And that is possibly the: 'I might be wrong here and there' part; I do in-deed feel somewhat impatient to get past these. But
that changes from time to time - and, jacking off about my fantasy usually "does the trick". For now this is however all that I can give you.
More might just be a few bongs away; Or maybe a lot of them!
Now is always, and always is now
by Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.27 - 03:27
Still concerned about more
Although getting tortured to death is effectively my largest desire - to the point that I sometimes don't really know how to handle it -
its first of all my "Level 3 realization". Level 1 is clarity as simple as it is - including its depths and offshoots - and Level 2 is
vastly about my private ambitions, starting from Level 1 and moving into Level 3. Level 3 basically includes 1 and 2; And in that regard,
yea, well - Level 1 and 2 are practically discardable; To the point that I'd happily do so - the idea of which even makes me wanna do that.
Once I'm going to sleep - it even happens that it is all that I basically 'want'. Yet there is a huge 'but' to that.
For instance - it isn't the only thing that gets me going at night. So, sometimes there just is no 'juice' to that ambition - and what gets
me going then is something that either just overwhelms me unexpectedly while else it are just random desires based on whatever mindset
I have at that time. There I eventually find myself confronted with all the things that turn me on as a guy, and respectively I continue
thinking as a guy. And because that usually takes me into being female again - my male self is effectively a cunt. Simply put.
Because Level 1 and 2 are contained within 3, my Level 3 desire can be taken as reference point, or starting ground, in the sense that there
is no question about whether or not I would (want to) go down that road. So, in essence you could say that the thing that'd please me the
most at this point would be a legalization of death-rape and to be subject to that in my current life, and any other life to come. Maybe
that is even a thing. Yet from time to time I also see myself getting old - though - the concept of dieing of a natural death seems
somewhat stranger to me. So yea - essentially - my mind is set to be essentially not cared about.
Yet that were an inaccurate representation of my full spectrum of wishes. Although, 1 seems to be more of a generalization, whereby 2 is
what I expect from my lifetime which is ultimately about transitioning into 3. And the sooner it'd start the better as that is kind of
the gist of how we are/become what we are/want ... and nothing about 2 is actually not already a part of 3 while 3 is more of an idealized
representation of what is at the bottom of 2.
I could totally sign that! Without hesitation or second guessing.
Yet I have to basically re-confirm that to myself every now and again; But I guess its my mind thats playing tricks on me because the
things that take me away from that are things that ultimately take me back to it at some point. I really have no 'long term concept'
as male - yet, the older I am, as a male, the harder I want to be ended.
Yet there finally are 'unique experiences' about growing older than 30 for instance, as a male - or at least being able to think and wonder
while separated from my Level 2 life for so long. I for instance do evolve to that point consciously; As, while I would otherwise be just
'raped' into it - I'm this way evolving to that rather freely. So, I have grown male ideals - and this space wherein they unfold is more
and more being compromised by the other side. So, I have that "alternate reality" "dream" I would call 'my harem' (or villa/mansion/paradise),
in which I am male and desire my brides to be my slaves. Ultimately however that is just a pretty thought I can't even really enjoy in my
own wishful thinking. I can get myself going on the idea of being there - but in process of enjoying that usually consciously shift to the
other side of things before I'm done - or I'm left with a slightly awkward feeling; Although ... there are times where that isn't the case.
But still - its not really satisfying. So it eventually made sense - although thats a bit weak - to understand my mansion as where I think
my brides into the position where I want to be in - at which point I'm not thinking in ways of doing it to them either. So, my male self
simply adapts that for itself. Where my 'real' male desires flow, I'm usually finding myself at the beginning of a relationship.
While this is a really repetitive case - as there is no situation you could pitch me into that wouldn't turn out that way, except the
one where I couldn't actually become female - there is a level of sensation that I experience based on simply ignoring what 'I' want. Thereby
I'm still mostly thinking/feeling like a pet, but the fact that these Level 3 things are just and simply not done to me allows me to align
to the ones I love; And thats really all that there is to it. You could describe that as patiently waiting until they'd change that, while
from being allowed to actively express my Love for them my male desires have a tendency to emerge as a simple force or stream of Love. That
is then an addiction - or simply put a desire to express my affection.
Now, as for my creative side - if I had to draw a conclusion 'now' - I'd say that my interest in being creative is already satisfied. I did
try some ZQuest editing and I kindof have to conclude that my mind is wired to be incapable of finishing anything. I mean - its sortof
paradox. At some point my desire to do something just vanishes and gets replaced by a feeling of being not into it anymore. The weird thing is
that that kindof changes if I think of restarting again. I mean, if bound to it I eventually would finish something; Because restarting
doesn't really make me do it any differently - or maybe I just took a wrong turn somewhere. Well, however ... it doesn't really matter to me
anymore - and being withdrawn from being creative, eventually as part of 'torture', feels more a part of me than being creative. And if you'd
take me as based on the note I'm leaving this with, ... then I guess the closing line I had on mind for this fits the best. It is - how can
I say - a label wherein I feel myself without any conflict in some ecstatic peace. Which means that it should work out best for everyone to
see that I'm something like a
Thanksgiving Turkey
by Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.27 - 04:17
Because I have to comment on this
I'm like something that is there to be made fun of. For as long as its brutally violating my stance as a (male) human being - its kindof
good. I mean - being scared of someone I love arouses me. The idea of getting subjected to someone that only wants to get off on my
suffering is basically some sort of a premise for me to love someone. An alternative to that is a simple situation of misery and demise.
In essence I aspire to live up to my own detrement. I can't help but wish to get flooded with cum and feces - from throat to anus -
as what my birthdays got to be all about. If I could be taken to the point where I'd desperately cry once my master beloved opens the
door I'd be in paradise. The only thing I demand in all this is that my body is left in-tact until the final stretch; Which is like until
1 year before I'm destined to die. Though, if it doesn't take that long I wouldn't care either; Its just; Getting just killed seems a bit
too short!
I really want to feel the fullest extent of misery a human can possibly experience - based on these premises - while I guess that it is
a part of that to confirm that every now and again; As - taking one step; And asking me to eat feces as a confirmation. In reality however
I want to be incapable of denieing that - which is however up to the higher power to establish. So, it'd be better if that could be
established that way - while leaving me no choice at some point sooner rather than later.
If you got to be sad about it, or have pitty on me, or be upset about anything - so you should feel - then that I'm not getting this
to the fullest. I rather want to be fucked unconscious than have a choice about this!
Love is relative
by Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.27 - 04:31