Sub-Light

So I want to take my time to stop - and I've just stumbled on a great case example - which yea, allows me to point fingers at others and not myself ... *grin* ... but if you know the drill you'll understand its a ... we're all equally guilty thing. But so I'll start pointing out about myself regarding my oppinion about the PS4 being bullshit once you're trying to make case and point about framerate issues for instance. Yea, its a minor issue and I don't really care enough to actually change my mind about it. It doesn't even matter all that much.

What matters is the underlying psychology - or so the question: What makes us fail although we're not intending to do so? And that could be taken to the point of saying that we shouldn't be critical unto each other. Which is certainly not what I'm intending to say.


However - strangely enough the case example also takes in some topic that is ... so far a video game related topic, but now turns into a more global political one. Brexit. Short point: The backpaddling of the Brexit leaders in conjunction with the polls prior to the vote show that there was a long stretch of time where it seemed like the Brits wouldn't have voted to leave. As the tabel turned - I'd guess - the first drops of sweat started to show ... and after all Thunderf00t remained right on his kindof controversial video. I myself was however, despite being german, sympathizing with the Brexiters - and this Thunderf00t video didn't really change that either. I mean ... for once: The plan I accuse the right to have is to throw wood into the fire - promising the Brexit with big propaganda and all that and to further expand on the anger after they didn't get it. And its nice to see big politics/government fail.
Anyway - regarding the Thunderf00t video you have to see Undoomeds response as well. Its the two sides of the coin.

This is clearly a case of ... looking at a Singularity, effectively speaking, ... "where physical laws stop working". But well, let me try to add some sense to it. The EU ... there's the one side, the one Thunderf00t tries to defend, the concept of Unity, ... and the other side that Undoomeds friend defends, the concept of freedom. And obviously its extremely bad if those two are setup against each other - and thats one of the main reasons why I don't like the 'EU' ... as 'patreon' of that given Unity. The irony is that the EU should be considered a 'Liberal' concept - while as of recent more and more nationalists have been voted into it. Makes me wonder: Where are all the 'leftist' rules coming from? If the right is so strong? And my counter argument to Thunderf00t would have been weird "biggger picture" bogus I might not have the capacity of properly explaining - just a "hunch". The UK leaving the EU sends a signal - smacking a crack into the EUs shell that, although the real consequences are barely existent, has yet little chance of retaliation while adding a pretty large wildcard onto the table of "EU Bullies" that are bent on taking us down the road to Hell.

Global politics is pretty complicated. You can't essentially unite people that are at heart not united. And this is where the more right-wing you are, the more easily you'll agree with figures that stress how effectively unefficient a widely open immigration politics is. And that is the actual elephant in the room. "Xenophobia" and all that - where I yet do have a pretty large concern regarding people from/within the middle-east.
As I've been trying to be clear about what Unification does and does not do - I ... possibly didn't do a great job. However - the gist of what I've tried to say is that there are certain sensations/impressions the force establishes that can therefore not be dismissed. You might say that I can feel how a person ticks inside - but I can't sincerely write about that because ultimately I've kindof gotten used to ignoring that in regards to people around me. In hindsight there's been just too much negativity - then those more negative than others, and those more positive than the average; And while that is sortof subconsciously wired into me I guess I kindof learned to passively adjust to what I noticed. So I mean its difficult to write about it objectively - and though I was about to say that I'm yet however realizing these impressions on a global scale - my impressions have changed already. Its a dodgy topic - and so, of course, me being alone - there is no way to take this anyhow further. And certainly do these changes suggest to me that there is no point in making statements like that.

The real problem round about immigration is though really really obvious: The political landscape. Like so: There are only a handful of countries worth living in - and further theres an 'upper class' (politicians/"the elite"), a 'middle class' (everyone with proper education) and a 'lower class' ... and its kindof weird to think about how metropolies/centers-of-power compared to the remaining landscape correlates to this class perspective. So, speaking in terms of 'left wing' and 'right wing' - I would say that my type of being 'left' is not immigration focussed - but 'global interest' focussed. Which does however not work when dealing with nations that are blocking that kind of development and the EU were the larger culprit than the UK. Sortof. Sortof because 'the middle class' kindof makes the Liberal concept work for itself - and without this middle class the upper class is basically powerless.


And so the point is: When our leaders draw unclear lines we're bound into controversy about our oppinions - and being allowed to see it your own way despite what others say is the highest good that we have! A similar thing as to how come Democracy is better than Dictatorship. And that is even true when taking the Dictatorship idea towards God! So to say that if God wanted to be our Dictator - we would now live in a genuinely different - possibly arguably better - world today. Better in some way at least. We wouldn't have corruption, we'd have better education, we would have a trustworthy censorship .... but how about those that wanted to disagree? This is a really weird question in that context. The answer should sound fair because otherwise you're taking away the whole point of the idea - and as it is we however don't have to deal with that bullshit.
What we have - in deeds of Unification - were Clarity. So for instance saying that an artist who has an art related Clarity is incredibly more valuable to us as an artist that someone who's just full of creative talent - like me. Thats where my stance on being mad and upset about having been rejected falls apart. To explain, its important to consider what the nature of this Clarity is. While I can't seriously tell much about Clarities I'm unfamiliar with; And I'm only familiar with my own; I most strongly recognize the social implications of my own. That rather means that I'm withdrawn within any social environment - and not that I'd like to spread my legs/bend over - by the way. And my clarity also reflects within my primary interests - so my passion; Which is one thing why I can't legitimately work as an artist (for a long period of time) with other artists. It'd be however generally wrong to give me the credits of a true artist - and taking that label away from me does actually fuel me with more optimism for doing my own artwork. But I wouldn't do that as an artist - I'd do it independently - more as a matter of fun based on my capability rather than as a matter of being passionate about making arts.
In a sense the practical description of how I would do arts wouldn't differ too much from whats expected of an artist - yet so we can come to speak of sacrifices; And with sacrifices to be made ... well ... its first of all each and everyones personal issue to think about them. If you were passionate about being an artist you would have a hard time realizing why I might not want to make those sacrifices demanded of me to become an artist - but you damn sure would understand them when taking you to the point of doing something you're not passionate about and asking you to sacrifice what you are passionate about. And ... being passionate ... is really just a metaphor for Clarity. Its in about the same. To put it into a better light, think of what you're most passionate about and something else you like doing but aren't quite as passionate about. And so are my ambitions with art something I don't want to get undermined - after all - but I damn sure 'can't' prefer my artistic ambitions to the detrement of 'myself'. Thats just a logical impossibility. So in terms of what is 'good' for me - well, try to not think as much of the specific activity or activities - or lean too much towards visceral imagery - but more in terms of 'social gravity'. In clear speech: Being a whore does to me not primarily mean that I'm looking forward to be prostituting myself - but towards an emotional environment/familiarity that nourishes my existence as a whore. Thats why I'd rather 'withdraw' than 'spread my legs/bend over' - in that sense of social interactions.
When understanding that, you can realize why my every once in a while upcomming statements of rejection unto gaming or doing arts aren't all that unexpected/weird. In other ways we can though say that I simply can no longer fully motivate myself to do any of that work, including this work by the way too, as following those incentives does quite obviously demand sacrifices of me (which I by the way am actually forced into making, which I'll possibly elaborate in more detail shortly) that I can't fully embrace - consciously, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. So to the strange thing that I don't have any choice - as there is no alternative to my current situation and that is pretty much a situation of: I can do whatever the fuck I want for as long as I can do it alone and for as long as I have the hardware (Computer, paper and Pen) to do so. Thats the situation I would get into when making those sacrifices - but I'm not in it voluntarily and my mind keeps on struggling against it. Neither do I really come to do any of that work - and what I've tried to say is as much as saying: If my situation were changed where those sacrifices weren't asked of me and I could live without making them I'd on the long run end up being more productive.
There is however also a factor of speculation to it - that however on the chance that I'd come to totally embrace my clarity focussed life with no further need for doing anything else. There's a reason why earlier impressions as to how I see my 'talents' to fit in with my clarity remain true for me still - and there isn't a true chance for that to ever change either. There is a way of how I see my clarity being a perfect thing for me - and my mind solidifies in that sense - influenced by the force - so that I have some sense of how things make sense for me. So still I find my 'talents' as a part of me - while flourishing within an environment wherein I might even be considered a captive. Or enslaved. Or whatever. And I come to back that up at least to my own satisfaction by realizing how weirdly incapable I am to expand my mind onto living an independent life. While some might think that my childhood has something to do with it, how my parents raised me, I would beg to differ as the real reason why I can't expand into a 'normal life' is that my mind is just occupied with too much stuff. And now I practically for instance have the choice: Go out and buy some food or continue writing this. Well, obviously I won't choose to ultimately starve to death just so I can finish this writing - but as a "'captive'" that wouldn't even be a thing. I might get a hot meal in just about a half hour - as its 11:30 a.m. - while having had a proper breakfast, which I kindof had. This might seem like I'm asking for too much, but given the right circumstances, social attachments, connections, relationships, it wouldn't be much of an issue - unless you shoehorned such demands into my existence "just cause".
As it stands I'm in-deed more of a creative mind than what my Clarity suggests - but while my life is actually so fucking entirely distorted compared to what my resonance with the force "desires" there is actually little pragmatic sense to issues like ... what, how, why, when and so on.

My Clarity however doesn't drive me to look for a profession - though it renders me as inherantly more compatible with one - but more so drives me to find where I belong; And that wouldn't be a 'brothel' - by the way. So its rather looking for the things that make me a whore aside of what does so inside - than being one, while as far as I'm concerned I already 'am' as much of a whore as 'can be' when solely considering my minds attitude.


And so you might find that I actually violently resist the idea of being a whore practically - and that is fair. Due to my Clarity there is a base of consistency - for once in regards to my relationship with God/the Force and also in regards to my love interests - relationships, social structures, etc. - while aside of that I have my free mind to explore whatever life means to me on top of that.
And yea, this is kindof a 'new' thing on top of all the 'older stuff' about Clarity - but changes like that ... they shouldn't strike you too much as odd when simply considering that one of my main 'pro subjects' is 'growth'. I could have stepped beyond what was real for me at the time - but I would have been guessing; Whereas due to the changes that came about through growth I come to establish on the past and find that as real as that which I came to realize further down the road.
And yea - this is kindof well expressed in comparison to fractals.

But so the point that God prefers to work from within us - which is the more practical answer to the question of why God isn't our Dictator. We are all humans - and we are free to interact and all that - while God gives us the platform for doing so. If you experience how God tries to "govern" you internally, you will also find it sensible to not tell me what God wants of me - so we can all develop that sense of mutual respect for each other and make the concerns of our social justice an actual social concern. It might sound strange at first that we're so encouraged to allow each other perfect ethical freedom sotospeak - but it gets more reasonable when understanding that those that are Governed by God are all Governed by the same light. I don't expect you to fully embrace this type of speak right away, or even at all - but that latter statement is more a precautious statement; Where what I simply mean is to give it time - giving you and everyone else the time you'll need to embrace the truth - not because I say it but because you coming to the same conclusions - certainly implying that you'll make your way into the divine.
Without you getting to it as sourced by God there is no pragmatic point to it anyway. I mean, then you must believe that God will show you these things and there is nothing wrong with that per se - but it only truely unfolds any pragmatic value if you actually understand Gods relationship to yourself.

Within the divine there are social norms - for sure - like, "egoistic superiority" isn't an issue because God cares for all of us and that is a fundamental norm/power within the divine society. Being a part of it and yet setting yourself apart of it with the ambition to gain superiority upon the rest just defies all logic and reason so hard ... that so on the flipside we're all Liberals. ... . Maybe so with conservative/right-wing tendencies when it gets to people that don't wanna be a part of it - but the fundamental core values certainly remain and hence the Christian type of bullying is based on an inclusive philosophy that makes people bully themselves out way before we would.
Yet, because God governs 'us' independently there is a disparity between what matters to us individually and whats right on the global scale. So, to come back to the start of this - it kindof means: We have a right to be right about ourselves - yet a challenge to get along accordingly. So is there a 'self-preserving' foundation that makes us - or so our oppinion - justified so as God protects our independent individuality - leaving yet the same type of human fallability when it gets to anything aside of that, which we should all be relatively familiar with.

So in terms of taking this into politics the bottom line is rather one of understanding that we all have the same political ideal - but none of it gets pronounced if we don't ever pronounce any of them; And as we do pronounce them we're already potentially making mistakes - yet so instead of there being a base line of skepticism about each others goals there's a base line of tolerance that even more so challenges us to make up our own minds. And actually that process can be compared to playing Tetris.
And as of that there's also an inherant demand to being inclusive of other peoples oppinions - with an inherantly high value owned by diversity.

Well ... the reason why I'm not really inclusive of oppinions like that of FemFreq ... thats just because they don't quite sit with me. Although they probably would when looking at them indepdently and ignoring all of their Hypocrisy. Yet - of course we want equal rights and opportunity and all that, ... so of course those ideas and agendas have my support ... but so are there also all those that point out whats wrong with them - and they aren't generally anti feminist ... as there are feminists that set themselves apart from these other Feminists too. So its not ultimately about what they say here and there - but more an issue of practical disparity, as of which I'd say that those 'bad Feminists' ... they, put in the most friendly way possible, possibly just haven't seen the Light yet. And if you're putting yourself into the spotlight talking crap, you got to deal with the circumstances! I mean, if your core issue is to advocate censorship and all that - and call me hypocritical for not being inclusive to that - I ... don't feel wrong however ... yet! I mean, I can definitely see how I would take them on board if speaking of a neutral world - but then there's the other side that I would also take on board - and the final result shouldn't be a matter of "who comes first, draws first"! Thats not how it works!
Or, it is how it works - but still - wrong ideas have to be removed! And after just a little bit of talk about it there is no way how we could take FemFreq for anything other than just some satelitte stream of beliefs. "Expelled!" ... or just 'irrelevant' - but actually ... even so: 'dangerous'.

And there would yet remain the 'good point' of doing something about "online harassment". And I do already see a lot of things that have been done about it - but none of that is actually censorship! So, thanks to the Thunderf00ts and Undoomeds and Alphaomegasins ... theres an effort based on establishing consensus. Which is the very same thing FemFreq tries to accumulate to get their draconian views to spread - where the problem is clearly that the concerns people like Undoomed have are simply ignored in some way, so, FemFreqs views don't appear as draconian to the widespread public.
Not having a solution to the problem while the solution they have is a problem is equal to having no solution at all - and if all the bitching and whining is about making things worse than they are ... all the bitching and whining stands there as downright wicked.

And where's the problem? If FemFreq had a point, where is it? Where are the people standing up for their points with reasonable arguments? I might be the closest to that I know so far - and I find myself on the opposite side too!

I mean - except for one thing: There maybe is a demand for more female-friendly games ... for more progressive content in arts ... which to me is however like complaining about there being no milk while sipping on a glass of ... well yea ... milk. Their stance is rather demonizing unto all the progressive content that is out there ... as though it wouldn't exist ... while being downright harassing unto any other female position than that of FemFreq. I mean, the issue that they use their feminist ideas to provoke cyber bullying is so dominantly in the foreground after a good look at it that their arguments just fall flat on their nose until they get rid of that attitude and start to talk like normal people - effectively speaking. A simple apology might do the trick!
Or something like that.
Whatever reliefs tension and happens to be actually progressive - while aside of that, yea, I might take their concerns to my heart and think about it - see where I can change my artwork ... and the emphasis is on 'can' ... but the situation with MoA in that case for instance is that every significant role given to any female Character is already quite solid. There's a whore that turns out to be a queen ... I mean, she didn't know that until then ... then there's the Princess/Queen of that fabled country which has 'certain' gender expectations; And there is that 'herald' Character who takes the protagonist to that place, being of an allied country and effectively a strong independent adventurer type of hero figure. Its a generally Liberal world secluded into cultures by geology and political hotspots thats essentially unified on a metaphysical 'Zen' type of common sense - and then there is the bad guy who wants to accumulate ultimate power on cost of everyone else. The narrative ... as far as I've come to write as not featured on the pages I uploaded ... and also quite some time after I made those things ... explains this as the bad guy perceives this "innocent naive peace" as a weakness - realizing that people are unprepared for his deceptions. There is a delicate balance that makes the whole thing finally a well balanced artwork ... which does in short classically capitalize on both, human shortcommings and heroism, where there is no space to shoehorn some 'please, FemFreq, be kind to me' progressive/liberal/whatever kind of stuff into it - as that message would be carried by the world in a way that fits my vision of what the beautiful sides of Agoraeyah are. While on an ignorant glance it could certainly be described as a Mysogenistic world. Which it certainly isn't, as there are a lot of female leaders. So far I count 3 literal Queens. What I mean is ... art is not a blank canvas including a free cheque of 'do whatever you will' to me. I mean - speaking of which - where I would have space to make statements like that ... where I'm the artist in charge of what the product may be ... where I'm an 'artist' a.k.a. 'medium' digesting what I perceive ... I'd say ... all of Shatun Roks high ranking Mages/Instructors are male - period. In response to FemFreq. And that not out of my own volition. Not entirely at least. Its more like the Force giving me a base to feel comfortable with. And I do actually care about my artwork. It isn't entirely irrelevant to me how I populate my world - as, I don't have any motivation to add any bitching snitches into the game - as it wouldn't fit the overall theme I want to settle the story in; Which is more spiritualistic than political for once; And so there's an audience that will have an easier access to some of its content than others, to say as much: Sometimes the appreciation of arts requires a bit of abstraction from the viewer. As well.
The reason why I argument with having Queens to say that it isn't Mysogenistic is because leadership were one prime level to look at in terms of that. And I don't want to get into too much detail about the rest. However - as a bottom line - my general idea is that a greater diversity goes hand in hand with larger extremes - so, vibrant colors as opposed to slightly shaded greys. And keeping it real means that there is in deed that factor of randomness that has to be "drawn in" - which is some weird-ass paradox effectively - and any plot emerges from pre-existing conditions. To say, stuff is as it is.
Yet - obviously - the games industry isn't perfect. You can throw your feminist concerns into the same pot as gamers hating on Micro Transactions in premium games, too many reboots, too many sequels and all that. Saying that there may in deed be some white supremacist patriarchy at work which is pretty much in line with my general narrative, a.k.a. "blame it on the Antichristians", but presenting it wrong makes it come accross wrong. Its well within reason that this might be source of their Confusion though ... at which point I can't really blame them as we'd be kindof on the same page there. I mean, its not unheard of that people may get fooled into playing them into their hands!!!

As a closing line on the development of MoA here - there is a lot of stuff I haven't properly thought about to fully realize what I have in mind - and I'm only starting to grasp how I have to approach the development if I want to fully implement all the features I want to feature. That because I for once started to just get into it - start with the more obvious stuff and add the rest as I get there; In process of which I learned that the gist of my inspirations in regards to my ability to realize what I want requires a more complete approach - which kindof contradicts to the modular design. So - its ... kindof complicated, way more than I expected. So, I may come to write about 'proper game design' eventually - based on my divinity sourced experiences and insights - but only once I actually got something to really back those statements up with. I mean, one of the inherant claims was that with the right approach even a high degree of complexity is easy and simple. That so far however didn't happen. The thing is that once I get to an Alpha Build - its got to have pretty much all that I want to be in it in it; And yet - either way I started I always kindof found something that I overlooked; And so - I don't want to promise you too much. It doesn't look too good - except once God really wills it! Then you have all reasons to be optimistic.
And yea, I have to go buy some food now - and maybe I'm done far enough for now to take some actual time on the "drawing board". And I may yet have some things to write about Crystals specifically - but ... we'll see!




Intolerant Confusion

CNS.2017.03.28|13:50