Video - and I'm writing it because this topic is bugging me for quite some time now. And yea, essentially I'm also kindof
whats nowadays referred to as "triggered". Thats part of the subject.
I so far never understood how to tackle this topic though - and the main reason why is that I do find myself on the fanboy
side, kindof. I could go into details regarding why and how I myself get dragged into this - but thats what I used to do
and so far that hasn't been any good. So - this time I try to ... well, 'answer the question'. If companies can, why can't
fanboys?
When I try to tackle this topic its really hard for me to not get a headache right away. That headache is due to cognitive
dissonance; And the best way to not get one, I realized, is to admit it. I'm a fanboy, and possibly one of the kind that is
as bad as they come. In defense I find arguments on freedom of speech - or the significance and relevance of not letting an idea
you oppose get off unopposed. Clear. But as it so happens there are those kinds of fanboys - that ... well, how can I say?
I heard a story earlier today. Well, not entirely - but some were talking about it. Its about some 15 year old guy who
committed suicide and the background to it was that he sortof underperformed in a Videogame he was really invested in. So -
yea, there are 'extremes'. But - and thats what I wanted to get to - in the core there are a lot of people who share the same
'experience' - its only then the individual mindset that 'reacts' to what had happened. With 15 years for instance one hasn't
really 'grown up' yet. Thats something everyone would sooner or later have to learn: That no matter how 'mature' you thought
you were at that age, you were totally not! People at that age can become really good at things, which is what makes them
believe that they are on par with adults; They understand stuff and ... you possibly know it ... yet over time you just get a
wider view. My contribution to that conversation has been the suggestion that at that age one really doesn't have a solid concept
of 'the flow of time'. Like - things that matter to you know are tomorrow maybe not so important anymore - and over time these
experiences add up and the grown up person eventually learns to step back. Eventually. Its my guess that if you take two gamers
of the same age that play approximately the same amount of hours per day/week and one is better at "letting go" than the other,
the one who is better at it has 'beaten/finished' more games, as opposed to the other who is probably stuck on a handful of games.
So ... yea, "one (more) up" for all the "Call of Duty haters". Its a theory, but you might get where its coming from and see
why ... you wouldn't be surprised if it turned out right.
So - to my experience this goes even further. A lot further. For instance: Through Real Time Strategy games I learned the term
'over commitment'. More generally you might call it "tunnel view". You get invested into something and you don't see the signs
... or you see them but you misjudge them. In these instances it really is a 'skill' to adapt, where 'to adapt' is even too weak
of a term because 'adaptation' basically implies that you still go further down that hallway. Sometimes one has to drastically
change the plan, ... which implies to first 'stop', then to 'rethink', ... and then 'do' it so. That is extremely important
because if you don't ever start to learn that, you will never yield the respective experiences of 'success' - so its only gonna
be "win or loose" while betting on the same card over and over. If you'll win its gonna confirm you, if you'll loose you'll
tell yourself "next time" - and since usually thats how its gonna be anyway ... you won't see the difference, unless you try
and try - conditioning yourself to have an open eye ... for ... the best word I can find right now is: "the exits". If you
see them however, instead of running into certain doom you'll perhaps survive a little longer, you'll develop new strategies
to push the boundaries - and all over improve your odds of winning.
You are the captain of your own ship - and I guess the easiest way to learn these things is to learn how to 'stop' - uhm, for
instance: to watch the beautiful landscape before its out of view, or to just take a breath of the fresh air - or if none of
that is an option, ... looking at what you see to find something interesting there. Important though: Once it offers itself.
If you just let go of your controller for no reason - ... thats not what I had on mind. Thats like pushing random buttons; ...
which can help too, I guess.
Random Buttons
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.21 - 0:20
Why modern (Zelda) games suck
I don't want to be too open or detailed about what I consider a good game; And yea - its not that there are no good modern
games out there. There is however a pretty simple "formula" - which basically starts by saying that modern games are in "that
one regard" no different to older ones. What that one regard is does also get really simple to fathom while criticizing either
modern or "classic" games on base of the transition from 2D to 3D graphics. By entering the 3D era, 2D game-concepts have been
outdated and thrown over board. So - what both, modern and old, therefore have in common is that within their own "box" there
are those games that just work really good therein - and to say that there cannot be any good game once its using 3D graphics
doesn't really make a lot of sense.
So, if you were to take a "classic" (2D game) - and just added the 3rd Dimension for looks - you get the same game. The game
however changes if you thereby also change the feel - as things eventually get more "floaty". And ... also the way 3D games are
programmed differs from how 2D games are programmed and that might internally change a lot. However - those are just minor
issues.
And technically they yield more good than bad. Yet - to stick to my headline: The biggest beef I got there is that it really
did take quite some time for this transition to occur, for the "playing around" to come to an end and game developers to
realize that there is a huuuuuuge gap between the classic and the modern games - or as I would put it more simple: The "goofy
"retro" style indie 2D games" and the "modern AAA action shooters". Like - serious stuff. And ... 'World of Final Fantasy'
... by the way ... is in my oppinion easily one of the best titles (regardless of what drawers you might put it into, I mean,
even compared to any AAA title) ... of recent... uhm, no... just 'ever'. Or well, Final Fantasy type games. Its however
really the story and especially the story 'telling' ... and ... - yea, ... where ... on the other side I boldly refuse to play
the newer X-Com games because they basically are "rip offs". Its pen and paper Dungeons and Dragons translated into the X-Com
setting. Nothing wrong about that - I therefore however refuse to acknowledge it as an X-Com title; And even more so since they
just "overwrote" them. "There is only one 'Enemy Unknown'" ... its a good game in its own merits and this new modern bullshit
to me is a sacrilege! And I get confirmed in this oppinion by all the people who cheer the new ones up above the old ones by
nonsensical statements such as "what sucked the most about the old ones was all the micro management". My response: "Piss
off!".
Yea! This is where the beef is getting 'raw' for me. Because I'm right! And because anyone who wants to pick a fight - and I'm
feeling the saltiness - has now gotten their "better version" of it - yet sorry: "I am an X-Com 'fanboy'" ... - I mean, ya'll
have to acknowledge that it are two different games! Period!
It gets a bit more "hairy" when it gets to the Zelda franchise (and I don't know about Breath of the Wild just yet). See - one
of the 'core tropes' about Zelda games is that Link doesn't speak. Story telling is kept to a minimum - and so all this
"Character Development" - well - makes me wanna throw up. The more story one wants to tell, the more linear the game is gonna
get. That, or the people behind plotting out the details have got to be some kinds of geniouses. Also: The more 'story' I'm
dumped into - the less of 'my own' story it is - and ... after I did beat Twilight Princess I came to dislike it enough to even
dislike Ocarina of Time.
All this ... are isolated instances. Of course you could go and believe that my mind now just generally works in some kind of
"franchise protection mode" - but that would still be wrong. I here am thinking about Mega Man Adventures or ... X-Com Enforcer.
X-Com Enforcer may not be the best game out there - and for sure isn't really an 'X-Com game' - but those two have one thing
in common: They didn't try to be! I mean - if you wanna compare the original X-Com games to Enforcer and tell me that the developpers
wanted to make one like the originals ... ... I kindof have to object to your perception!
Yet it goes further. Iteration without improvement may be good for some time - but ... eventually changes are being made and
at some point we can then go and question whether they were good or not. In Science Fiction we could there enter the 'Multiverse
of Possibilities' - where once the changes too severe ... uhm. Zelda is a great example. Twilight Princess is kindof, we can say,
the 'perfection' of the road they went onto with Ocarina of Time. But while OoT was still kindof there where a Link to the Past
was, it ... |became| TP. It might however have come totally different - and its I believe easier to comprehend once "changing"
Ocarina of Time - making it more like ... well, ... for total abstraction: the earlier Might and Magic games. But, if you lack
the fantasy to comprehend ... then I guess this has to remain a white-paged statement. I however 'see' entire branches of games
that I have no legitimate comparison for; And that even diminishes my ability to enjoy what currently exists!
As for 'Breath of the Wild' however - the extent of 'originality' I've seen thus far is just that of taking known (post 2D)
Zelda gameplay concepts into already well established Open World game concepts ... and while I believe that this could proof
to be interesting - I'm 'intrigued' by what I've seen so far at best, but not really 'compelled'. But - it seems like a good
step into ... "a" right direction.
Interlude
Its kindof ironic. As from all the things I've tried pre 2010 to "get into the game(/industry)" - I feel like I haven't been taken
seriously and that most likely because as from my approach I wouldn't really stand out from the 'average fan' doing fanart; Which I
feel is like 'looked down upon' - as in: "Just some fanboy/fanart". I was thinking though, that the greatest thing I got going for
myself were and are 'ideas'. Nowadays I ... draw strength from past mistakes, simply because I had to realize that even the faintest
'hunch' of where I'm lacking will/does later down the road stand there as a major ... well, yea, "problem". In this sense there is
only 'one' that I can really think of - and that was and is that the way I expressed my ideas came through drawings. As I would
say: "Art", saying: I had the 'hunch' that someone would only have to totally 'sidestep' my work by totally neglecting that side of
things and totally making a big deal about 'gameplay' or 'experience'. And therein however also lies the problem! As I was drawing
up my Zelda "Fanwork" - I guess I never really thought that the game needed any major
changes in those regards; Yet improvements - in which terms I offered 'takes' ... in places that might easily be overlooked ...
on how "old" could become "new".
What I'm getting at ... the irony ... is that nowadays, or well ... maybe not so much anymore ..., ideas seem to be more like a
rare ressource - and how would you not take satisfaction to your ego from that? I mean - take it from my perspective: The industry
rejected your ideas; And nowadays its "suffering" the consequences. But so yea, there's that thing ... that makes me sigh ...
lets call it: "The ignorance of the mighty". People will always want to play games - and if all games are shitty, the ones that
are less shitty are gonna stick out as good. And thats why I gave up on that! On the other hand I see ... that I have to compare
BotW to Final Fantasy XV - and if I had to decide for a console, nowadays, and the only reason to buy a Nintendo being Nostalgia
and Zelda fanboy-ism, ... I'd go for a PS4 Pro! Yet I have to add: Maybe its good this way; And not only in twisted ways. I mean,
back in the days - I felt like ... no matter how good or right I was back then; I simply have been too immature nonetheless. I feel
like things would have turned out complicated enough - and that more due to private reasons - for me to be better left alone ...
until ... who knows? And I see the signs nowadays popping up! The BotW videos from the EA reveals for instance; There is that
batch of debris in front of that ruined church - and that is a thing that I've seen back then; In a totally different context
though. And that this image exists - now and for real - but the context is entirely different; While the context I've seen it in
back then was 'threatening' - I can't but change my mind about everything ... . That even isn't the only 'visual trigger'; And all
in all ... well, that comes down to the 'overcommitment'/'changes of time' part on top - as I have very well 'not' been all that
good at letting things go! I mean, my main reason for not killing myself was essentially 'pride'. Not entirely ... but basically.
A Multiverse of possibilities
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.21 - 2:28
In between
This interlude is a bit of a weird topic/issue. But there's a kindof hidden theme or truth therein ... uhm, which I'm kindof compelled
to write a little more about. See, ... maybe its just me, but I don't feel like it is just me. I was just watching a Video on YouTube
buy a guy named 'itmeJP' - called 'Fandom - Final Fantasy'; And I honestly was a bit surprised that Final Fantasy 8 actually 'is' such
a popular game. The reason why I bring this up is ... well, because FF8 has also been my alltime Final Fantasy favourite so far; Yet,
from looking around I always had the impression that it was a) vastly underrated in deed and b) ... sortof a niche experience - one that
would be out-voiced nearly everywhere - as though it would have to rank in as the least popular FF game ever. I guess I should have
known better - just like 10 Seasons plus 5 Seasons plus 2 Seasons of Stargate can't basically mean that nobody fucking liked that crap;
Yet I 'feel' like Stargate is the least popular show on earth - even less popular than shows basically everyone agrees on are trash.
So - in the end I'm sure there are people who would/might say that Battlestar Galactica is far better than SG - but in essence ... I can't
intellectually dig that!
So, what I'm saying is that for the vast majority of the recent years I've felt like everything on this planet was/has been bent against
me; Which is maybe because I felt so comfortable in the World of Warcraft. But yea - even that! I mean, I started WoW like 6-9 month
prior to Cataclysm - I guess - and by the time Cataclysm was out I've been totally invested in it - yet thats been also around the time
where people started saying stuff like WoW is trash and they're hyped for Rift. Well, what is Rift nowadays? So - I wanna say that this
"darkness" at the very least 'tried' to conquer WoW, ... but it didn't happen. But so I also came to wonder ... and wondered whether it
might be best if I just didn't get invested into anything.
Similar stuff goes for Street Fighter. To put that into perspective - prior to playing SF4 I was kindof ... "booing" at it ... as it was
basically there in opposition to what I had assembled and proposed to Capcom - and it even contains 'Visual Qeues' ... much like the one
I mention on BotW ... that "came from" a dream I once had wherein exactly that 'counter force' would try to ... "outrule" me. Specifically
Kens over the top Fire Hurricane Kick Ultra move where he ... I mean, it ... to skip on too much detail so became a success, sotospeak,
because I disliked it. Same thing but from the other side. But I ended up enjoying it - and ever since, the whole thing became kindof
confusing. Its almost like that me enjoying that game was like shooting into my own leg - while also kindof distorting that one simple
rule of my oppinion being false/sucking no matter what.
So I kindof have to wonder ... because Final Fantasy Mystic Quest is actually a game that I ... do kindof still Love! Especially the
music though. And the argument that they made it because they thought westerners are/were stupid - maybe they thought of folks like me!
At the very least ... well ... games like Ultima, or Might and Magic, are ... well, totally not my thing!
The recent years ... after I started to like SF4 (yea, I guess thats a thing now! ... weird ...) - uhm, ... I've had "echoes on my
mind" basically speaking to me like ... well, those that did know about me ... or, how can I say? Well, I've "heard" insults against me
saying that I'm only picking popular things to basically profile myself as a cool Kid on the web. Yet sometimes I feel like there is some
weird ... "emphathic Switch-aroo going on" ... like, I get to experience emotions based on things that I didn't participate in - like
someone else is channeling to me - and I have to resolve the emotional conflict and channel the results back to that person.
However - ever since the whole Matrix thing went out ... things changed once again. Slowly at first - but now I wonder ... whether its
a thing you can kindof feel too; Which to me is ... things changing from being everything 'but' things I like into a more fair distribution
of ... 'stuff'. I mean; I don't want to say that Batman v Superman is the best movie ever, or Mad Max Fury Road, or Godzilla, and that if
you disagree you're an idiot; But some of those movies had a negative feedback coming at them that I totally find to be unreasonable.
Essentially the gist of it all is that I used to hear some 'voice' saying "bad!" at everything I do or did - and that kindof threw a veil
upon my eyes. Its almost quite literally been so that if I only used bright colors and drew something 'happy' - there was this kindof ...
well, 'dark blurr' upon it - and I guess you can get the same from the two Matrix gigs so far. You can think about them and believe that
they ain't real - which is kindof crazy because once you see it there is no escape from the truth.
Yet people 'would'/(might?) say that the music doesn't fit/match - because like Michael Jackson wouldn't be your go to Musician to make a/the
soundtrack for the Matrix for instance - but so we "got" to (?) having two different conversations ... and so my situation kindof changed
from being Don Quixotte into being the Windmills. And I guess its due to people starting to realize that they've been the one fighting
against Windmills that this "crust of darkness" starts to fade away; Revealing a positivity that severely outweighs all the negativity
we had previously.
Part of that also goes into the "why modern games suck" topic. That because God simply - so I believe - "closed the doors" - and the
entire evolution from the earlier 3D games to now was therefore overshadowed by a severe lack of inspiration that functioned as 'safe zone'
for those responsible for the Darkness. And this now kindof leads back to the 'fanboy' issue.
It, and so all the "shitstorm"ing, to my oppinion essentially comes from these 'dark forces' trying to promote their product - thus
causing an imbalance that just doesn't go well with a whole lot of people. We're so for instance told that the Force Awakens was/is the
best Star Wars movie ever ... while I would say that ... 90% (and I guess thats a generous asumption) thought it sucked! So, we have
the 'public view' that is like 90% say its awesome; While most honest positive reviews are just that cause they don't wanna be JJ haters - I guess.
Thats the other side. Good people like to be fair ... and being as condescending about it as I am sometimes isn't really ... good tone anywhere.
While on the flipside there is nobody on "their end" that wouldn't be downright condescending about all the things they 'didn't' do -
and I suppose that on the long run its gonna add up into people just deeply despising ... well ... I mean, 94% was it? Voting against
Trump in New York ... and I guess thats a figure we'll get to see more of in the future. Not that one in particular - its simply, as to
my concern, a figure that shows this 'aftermath' of being oversaturated by this dark bullshit. People will look for things that basically
make them feel ... 'a cure' of some kind ... and they'll reject bullshit like water rejects oil.
Trumps victory in that sense is simply a measurement of ... where that is not yet the case.
Anyhow - there also is another side to the Fanboy issue ... or, well, its 'the' other side. The side where people are essentially 'dragged
into' ... well ... I would say "occuring extremes" - which is not so much about 'getting triggered' - but more about getting drawn or
sucked into an oppinion that already basically has 'hardened frontlines' ... which a vocal minority basically ... we could say "throws
around with fire" - a bit, well, kindof like catering to the idea of "if two are fighting, the third one goes out as winner"; Which
however also brings us into this weird paradox where 'freedom of speech' emerges as a toxic thing. And so, I couldn't agree more with
people like Alphaomegasin on that matter! I mean - we all eventually love arguments every now and then ... and ... at the very least
exchanging our oppinions - and we can have peace no matter how little we end up essentially agreeing upon; And it really are those 'toxic
fanboys' that ... we so long have to kindof live with.
I mean, ... I don't really like this side of things. As for instance jumping in on collectively hating on someone - but further down the
road its really them that bring it upon themselves. In a lesser scale we all find ourselves there at some point. Or, on one side or the
other. Usually its however never really all that big of a deal. So, I like FFMQ, for instance; But I know that I can't quite compare it
to the other mainline FF titles ... like, ... if I said it were the 'best' ... you could accept that but sooner or later you'd also stop
listening to me because its clear that FFMQ isn't really Final Fantasy per se. Same goes for FF13. I've watched ... I mean, started to
watch a Lets play of Lighting Returns to just get a grasp of what the heck it is about since I ... at that time ... had my mind elsewhere;
... and the story is sortof intriguing. I can appreciate that and it so happens to be a part of the Final Fantasy franchise ... but
gameplay wise ... its an Action Dress-up game, kindof ... and therefore kindof weird and nothing I really would want to play. I ... you
might feel the same ... have a hard time figuring how to be butthurt about any of this - where, if you enjoyed FF13 ... I don't know ...
its possibly the same as me having enjoyed FFMQ - ... its not like I have to narrow everything down to everyone agreeing with me in any
way there. And that goes for all. I mean, seeing that FF8 is after all not that big of the underdog as I thought - thats cool - yet I can
dig where the public oppinion is coming from. But thats I guess really the "it" - the "Monster" - so, 'the public oppinion' - and that
because its just that weird amalgamation of expressed oppinions, something nobody had really direct control of. But yea, my love for FF8 is vastly in how the story is presented ...
including the many nuances and twists - as next to other things the sequences including L.... ... whats his name (ah! Laguna! and Biggs and Wedge) ... three soldiers;
Which ... the protagonists from time to time pass out and basically awaken in a dreamworld where they are inside of three soldiers
wearing the Uniform of the enemy ... "being the enemy" ... kindof ... and telling their story; And eventually it ties into the main
plot, turning out to be real, ... as they also remember those dreams - realizing that they've all been in the same one; And later discovering
certain places they've been to as them. Another thing I love about it are those cases where the pre-rendered background is essentially a cutscene,
as just an example of truely compelling storytelling. In that sense these are the precursor of what we nowadays would describe as scripted
events. They ... however really add up to the feel ... like the worse example of them might be where you're basically just running down a street
while chased by some giant Mech. Thats at the end of the first outdoor mission, if you care to watch a lets play and wanna skip. ... or ...
well
Yet, honestly I don't feel bad about 'collective hating' - its, part of the way life is! If its just so that you're part of the 'behated
minority' - whatever! I rather stand there acknowledging that I like something everyone else is laughing about than not having a consensus
about anything ever! For as long as that goes on without Torches and Pitchforks ... that kind of stuff.
Morbol casted Bad Breath
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.21 - 17:40
Aftermath
I feel good though; And that essentially because I feel like I can't leave this on a negative thread. Thats by the way been the starting
note anyway. It may not seem that way considering our political landscapes - but lets not forget that one of the things to take home from
this is the cognition of the 'changes' that time brings with itself. So, while politicians arguably are still as bad as ever, ... I'm
convinced that its nowadays more difficult for them than ever.
At the very least ... each one of us does have individually 'got' certain things, like, oppinions and likes; And if all we got to do is to
not ... well ... go around killing people over it ... and that also being the only thing we 'can' do ... things are not as bad as it would
seem. Life goes on, and whatever ... after all time will tell. Either the majority will go crazy ... or it won't. I mean, as it stands we're
left to reason that we're pitched against each other; And the common sense all accross the board is that these ideas are catering to a
Liberal mindset; Although basically rooting for the not-so-liberals to become more extreme. But once talk turns into action; Thats got to
become the majority - and, ... well, there is this passage in Revelation 12 ... about that pregnant woman on the beast ... which the
dragon seeks to drown, but the water he casts after her will just vanish in the ground. Thats pretty much leaning towards/into the 94%
figure - at least in terms of what I mean to say here. There is no way we ... uh, I mean ... polls showed that a vast majority of Trump
voters actually doesn't like him; Same goes for Clinton; ... so, whatever side you're on - the story is about the same. Right now it might
seem that politics takes its nasty course as always ... and ... I guess I can't promise you anything ... but ... if we so don't really
have a choice either way ... why not go and accept that? "We are the people" ... and I believe therein lies a lot of good potential.
Sure, ... what we see is scary. The mighty rule the world and although we live in a democracy we can't really tell how democratic it
actually is; And if things were to go on that way ... we totally could consider ourselves lost. Johnny Mnemonic style. Or ... Final
Fantasy like - ... in the sense that things may gradually become worse until there are only a handful that still keep fighting. And yea,
it'd suck if things got that far. I don't think that we can believe in all our good potential if we keep ignoring the truth of God either,
that much should be clear though.
And at this point I feel like writing some more about what I think ... is gonna answer your questions ... which are going to be ... well,
... things about what I call Zion. But that is also a bit of the pointless chase, ... the snake eating its own tail ... something we can
compare to the behaviour of a virus. If all concerns 'herein' are cleared out ... there's that next thing. But do you really need to know
what Zion is going to be like, exactly? In order to get moving? It wouldn't change the scope of things you could do! It gives you answers
for people asking stupid questions, but thats it. Either they'll have the ground to be "skeptical" - or they'll move on to the next best
thing. Under the line the main reason why Zion is going to be better, as simple as it gets, is because we'll be with God - we'll exist in
a mutually established harmony that caters to both: Personal and Social wealth. Thats what you'd have on your mind anyway, yet lacking
the tools, the words, to describe that to someone who demands different answers. But that really is the point there! If you're not
liking the answers, just ask different questions!
Remember the part about 'over commitment'? Well - asking questions is a bit like looking for those exits. You'll even learn a lot about
folks by understanding what answers you can expect from which questions. At the very least you can turn a situation where you feel like
the other one is hiding something from you around; Like ... you can turn a situation from being cornered into the one who has surrounded
the other one - simply by asking the right questions, forcing them to either expose themselves - as of what they are so trying to tell
you - or to retreat. At any rate - if you don't have the answers ... you can so either admit that you're not all-knowing; Or ask for the
enlightenment ... depending on the situation. There is even a scientific root to this. Kindof. I mean, it happened while playing Destiny
that we were so rushing through a strike and we were having fun because things went really smooth - and I saw a whole bunch of heavy
ammo on the floor with my heavy weapon being full already. So I was saying something along the lines of "well, I got a whole lot of heavy
ammo right here on my screen and I'm full" - yet in course of doing so I stopped mid-sentence and said "What?" - then counting how many
I saw to then continue with saying that it are '3'. The point here is one about the mindset. Saying "what?" (or: "whaaat?") there basically
forced my mind into a state of curiosity - so instead of passing on the details/exact amount I couldn't help but retreive the exact amount;
And that mode of conscious operation is sortof different to the mode of just rushing through a strike you basically already know by hard.
In other words: If you lift a question to your consciousness, you're more likely to find the answer - as opposed to just hoping for the
best. You could say that doing so is a bit like putting food into your mouth. Thereafter you technically get to chew it; And then you
swallow it shoving in the next bit.
Technically - thats how to be all like "Speak into the hand" - Terminator Style. I really can't show that to you live right now because
there is no circumstance like that right now. So I keep on babbeling, ... at which point I'm doing the opposite to asking questions -
which is OK, because, if ... if you never commit you might not tend to over-commit, but you're not really getting anywhere either ...
kindof!
So yea, another way of finding the exit isn't about asking questions, ... but finding back to yourself, your center, your "stasis", ...
which is an issue about 'giving the answers' ... the ... 'straight' ones. Its not so much an issue of answering questions though ... its
... more like about resetting the conversation to a point that isn't too far out. The thing is that you don't want to be lured into a
trap or end up lost somewhere ... so, you got to return to what you're familiar with; Like by giving a statement about where you stand,
how you see it, and therefore not allowing yourself to stand in the fire - sotospeak. 'To Retreat'!
Well ... if a social space is setup against you, kindof, ... and you realize that people dwell on nonsensical conclusions that you can't
oppose by reason or anything at all ... that definitely sucks. I've been there too. But if you think about it - those situations really
give you the answers you need ... at least: Knowledge of whom or what you're dealing with. From such situations I had a growing desire to
socialize with people that are more reasonable - and so I'm ultimately also about to leave this topic. Either you realize what I got on
my mind here or you don't. Maybe this is an important subject, maybe it isn't. Maybe I have spent way too much time babbeling about all
sorts of stuff, maybe I didn't. If you can't stand the noise in the Disco you'll get out! As simple as that! But anyway ... the one
thing that sticks out to me here - is well ... that
"Everything is connected" (Rochard)
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.21 - 19:26
Aaand ... Cliffhanger! (a.k.a. - it goes on)
I wanna say that I am very oppinionated and I don't think thats a bad thing! I hate Microsoft - and so people that have an XBone kindof
make me feel bad in some way ... kindof like feeling bad 'for them' ... but anyway ... I don't hate XBone owners. And everything the
internet collectively hated on, myself included, in regards to the XBone turned out to be true. But now thats an old horse already.
Because of that I tend to speak ... I mean, duh, you speak good of what you like and not so good about what you don't like. However ...
on the long run ... since the XBone came out ... or the PS4 ... at least, since that hole 'pre-launch drama' ended ... I never really had
a strong reason to hate on it. Its been people that caused the drama; People we eventually discarded as morons. Hopeless cases ... while
however getting me at least upset enough to even kindof miss it ... that bashing on them MS fanboys. And why? All because ... I suppose
... I jumped into the mix expressing my oppinion on which console I preferred and why! And so it goes! I mean - as one could expect -
any drama that came along was from folks that seemed to have some agenda on making the XBone look better than it did; Therefore usually
clammering onto things that nobody fucking really cared about! And yea, well ... "WHAT THE FUCK?" ... but yea, that was actually another
point where we had a taste of that 90%+ figure. Just by the way.
If it didn't get clear yet though: My point of view is not essentially gaming related. So, the PS4 is for the gamers? "Whaaat?" (no
shit?!?!) - I mean, of course it is. Its a friggin Gaming console! And the reason why I would 'but' this against the XBone, although I
currently could use a device capable of receiving digital TV, is mostly because Microsoft scared the shit out of me - underlined by the
way they to my impression pursued their interests. I still continued to use windows for some time - and that basically because ...
and thats I guess the important topic I don't wanna miss mentioning ... of some 'uplifting feeling' I get from thinking about using it.
This uplifting feeling comes with a promise like: "Whatever you wanna accomplish, its gonna be better if you're using Windows". But
since I was burdained with paranoia we might say I was curious ... and could the promise deliver? Well, kindof. I mean, I was able to
run some of my older programs of which I still had (have? ... ???) the compiled executables ... yet I finally ended up using MinGW anyway.
After all I support the idea that this uplifting feeling comes from the fact that Windows is just the most widespread platform and if
you build something for it you can be rather certain that you're gonna max out on people you can reach ... logically ... which doesn't
stop me from building my stuff on Linux; And I'm anyway much more comfortable with using awesome WM. Thats a Graphical Frontend/Desktop
a.k.a. 'Window Manager' for Linux ... . Well. Linux ... is a bit like you know it from where Windows still boots into textmode first.
These new Graphical Shenanigans that avoid Textmode can also be accomplished in Linux by the way. Fact is that in Linux this 'primitive
backend' is there ... and all of its features are basically what Linux 'is'. That said ... having a Desktop renders most of the
commandline stuff kindof useless ... but that depends on the Desktop Environment (DE) or Window Manager (WM) you're using. But you have
a lot of choices - and my favourite Linux Distribution happens to be Arch Linux thus far ... it really gets clear there because its
really bare-bones until you installed all the things you want. If you were using Ubuntu for instance, or any other Distro except
Gentoo, I guess, has at least one DE/WM packaged into the installation - along all the stuff you'd need ... so ... Libre Office at
least, for instance. So - my Arch Installation usually is awesome WM plus whatever program I need. And I don't know what benefits I'd
have ... user-experience wise ... from replacing that by windows! Especially since Steam is now also available for Linux.
And if I so can't play one specific title ... I don't really care right now because ... there is plenty enough to occupy me otherwise.
If I didn't have a PS4, that would suck!
And well ... what really rocks about awesome is the tiling system. Once you've gotten used to it. You'll have all the windows you need
on one screen - and you can just drag and drop windows around - and they'll never just float around. So, most however works with keyboard
shortcuts and customizing it is a science of its own; But ... once gotten used to it ... well, ... I don't need a Graphical UI anymore.
Anyhow ... if we're talking about Games per se, we're talking of a different thing as compared to just ones general oppinion. And the
latter is really what counts in most of the time. Of course so unless ... they really don't matter. Once talking about Consoles vs PC,
or Console vs Console, its really simple: Either general stuff doesn't matter and we can skip most of the conversation; Or its really
down to someones preferences - in which sense, well, we should talk about "conversational sacrifices". So, someones preferences at first
are this whole chunk of everything; And it eventually comes down to certain franchises and therefore a preferred gaming plattform. Simple!
Preferences can however get more complicated than that. So, if you had to pick one platform - one eventually starts to weigh this versus
that; Yet setting up a hypothetical scenario like is a step of abstraction that not everyone relates similarly to. I for instance use a
PC anyway ... so ... to the point that I couldn't just waive on one; And that will bias my decision. If I couldn't have a PC if I should
pick a console I'd go for the PC. So I would have to throw in additional conditions - like I don't actually use my Computer for gaming
right now.
Technically its kindof silly to even ... bother with this issue. I mean - there are three major reason to express your own oppinion.
Either its just that ... as a matter of socializing ... or its a matter of 'like' ("share the word") or 'dislike' ("express disconsent") -
and all that essentially flows together as public oppinion while 'public oppinion' is kindof a hazardouz term to use here. Public Oppinion
is the Symptom - which is how I get back to the X-Com thing; Or the ... well, can we still say 'modern'? Anyway, 'modern' gaming landscape.
The thing with public oppinion has it that there are a bunch of "best games" - while, we only have multiple due to genres, and in general
what pops up as "the best of some kind" would generally not rank in first amongst all the people who enjoyed it, so, if 10 people share the
same game in their top 10, yet the rest is distributed amongst 50, that one game would be considered the 'best', even if in average it ranks
in on 9th or so. So, "there is no best". The more wide-scaled public oppinion on the other hand is in terms of likes a matter of promotion;
And that in general is an act of wellfare. Saying that I really enjoyed World of Final Fantasy isn't gonna benefit me per se ... but it
might benefit you. Matter of fact: I totally forgot this game existed until I stumbled upon Alphaomegasins recommendation. Then I watched
a Lets Play ... and halfway into the first Video I was already sold on it. There were times where I watched LPs the majority of time ...
or watched an LP rather than playing it ... so for "a pros pos Lets Plays" ... and yea, especially once I know that I wouldn't bother
buying and playing a game anyway an LP is a nice way of still kindof participating in the experience. Its extremely rude to believe that
we, the consumers, should buy every crap out there that we're even just remotely interested in.
Which is why I don't feel bad even more for having 'let go' of Nintendo. And I'm actually a poor guy. I can effort one game per month
at best! But if I do I can't effort much else. I still have some money saved up ... which is how I could effort WoFF ... but once thats
gone, thats gone! And so - to me - its not only about making my time count, but also my money. And because of that, I actually am a
quite happy/satisfied person! So - because having spent my money on Bullshit hurts me even more I ... sortof learned to avoid
negativity. And that even so just in general. So - I guess I do no doubt miss out on a lot of great games. The Witcher 3 for instance.
I had the chance to play it via SharePlay and ... yet, I don't have time or money for it ... most certainly not with FFXV commint up
next week - and thereafter ... well, thats a story yet to unfold. But even Salt and Sanctuary, GTA 5, ... and all of the ton of
reccomendations of games I don't/didn't even have on my radar. I guess ... perceived that way ... my perspective on games is way too
narrow - but I also believe I got a pretty good sense of what I'm missing out on. Kindof. Not infallable though. In case you care ...
trying to be not too negligent about it - the point with X-Men Apocalypse that made me ... well ... not think too well about it did
still hold up. Same with Ghostbusters ... and after having seen both of them I have a comparison, also relating to the feelings I had
about them. And X-Men Apocalypse is really as bad as I thought it was, measured however in a weird way. Similar to how I hinted out
earlier - I ... there are a lot of missed opportunities in X-Men Apocalypse - although its all just cosmetic. I don't know if it would
have payed out to ... thing ... but I feel like with those things ironed out it may have been like a 3 times better movie.
Anyway ... thats just ... I think ... crazytalk, in the sense that it doesn't really ... matter a lot. Point is: You only really know
if you truely know ... and online talk ... is really as bad as it is because its easier to just have an oppinion than to actually spend
time and money on a real one. Thas what I learned from Godzilla. But maybe that just happened because I had this negative oppinion
accumulating in my head and then came to wonder what I myself would consider a really good modern take on it. I wondered: What do/did I
love about the old ones. And I figured: Most importantly its Godzilla 'as Character' who 'has to be' a/the Good Guy, (check), and how
the Godzilla movies have always been stories told from the perspective of a bunch of humans, (check), that are generally used as tools
to picture the ongoing Monster Battles (check). So, once I've seen it I - kindof felt like ... I really wanted to faceplant because I
so fucking deserved it! And yea, no doubt - in terms of ... my oppinion ... I'm really a jerk, kindof, and that because I'm used to 'know'
... or generally be right. And that now finally takes me into the headline on top ... that goddamn mess. I mean ... yea, ... uhm, its
ultimately a thing everyone is self responsible of. And a big reason why I wanted to write this is that, ... well, although I might not
have to - I know that I have to make up for a few things; Something I tried before ... but not in a way that really got me satisfied.
And it really takes more than just one key experience - or it 'took' ... . So, the time Iron Man 1 came out I read/saw those "Must
See" recommendations and I didn't 'feel' like that were to be taken seriously. Turns out ... I was wrong!
So - I tend to believe that these feelings are something thats just out there - and they don't make us/anyone special, they just show
how we all basically sit in the same boat. And yea - I often thought about it - but never quite managed to get through to it - saying,
that topic is like a Video Game with an actual ending it seems - and whatver realness there is to it - guessing won't ultimately solve
it!
Another interpretation naturally is a mix of both on multiple Levels. Well ... just ignoring all that for now seems the best way to
go anyway. ... or wait ... actually ... I guess I'm wrong on multiple Levels right now! What matters however is that none of these 'feels'
really should be expressed - although ... its really not like there seem to be any rules. For what I'm certainly convinced about is that
'context matters'.
Well - so a little bit of a botched segway into ... I guess what you sortof care about the most: My rightnesses! After all, whats the
point of being a somewhat magical person if there is nothing magical to be found?
Context ... well. X-Men Apocalypse isn't something I was keen on seeing; Yet eventually I was bored to death and it seemed like a good
chance to go and see it. I even kindof feel like that situation was kindof shoved in my face ... and so ... its for once a 'personal
compass' thing ... and thats nothing I really need to make choices about. Its more in the mood. But ... what am I even trying to ...
get to here? Well, as mentioned about X-Com, ... yea, thats gonna take me back into it ..., I got some beef with it, totally ignoring
it as a game, essentially, and judging it based on things that basically just remotely speak of it as a game. And I haven't even played
it yet. Where, to expand on the just aforementioned, I do believe that I could enjoy it - and that leans a bit into the "conversational
sacrifices" issue. I will thereby however say as much: If I at some point managed to basically diminish your joy in that game, I'll be
glad! Thats straight and honest, its possibly an unpopular stance, but I'd be lying if I claimed otherwise. So, I'll be glad about it -
and if we had an argument I'd ... well, try to convince you nonetheless, at which point you might figure, well, there's something about
this game that tipps me off. I mean, I kind'f can't be neutral about it! That said, I won't be mad at you for not being convinced by
me!
The gist of what I'm trying to accomplish here is really to broaden our understanding of how oppinion works - where in context to the
things mentioned further above the one thing more important than that is ... well, what we could most generally resolve as a 'matter of
respect'. A bit like "learning to play" - to kindof dip back into the days where I was a WoW player. If you wanna be a Tank, you got to
equip a shield - and people that leave because you're wielding a two-hander is totally justified. Except once the reaction is sortof
not appropriate - like - once the party is OP anyway and you can so push through anyway because its fun; Where I'd say: If its just the
healer who has issues - he's either a lame person that just doesn't like the challenge or he's legitimately not having enough mana to
keep up. Thats the difference between being OP and not. And if you're in an instance with Randoms - you just also kindof have to deal with
noob skillz. Its really in the end-game, so, running Heroic Instances, where people that don't understand their class really do rather
stress the patience of others than anything else. And I really want to take the issue with the shield as Metaphor here. As Tank you,
and thats the Rollplaying aspect of it, really don't wanna face up against whatever Blizzard so chose to throw your way without a shield!
So, understanding then how you can really 'protect' your party, which is what a Tank is essentially supposed to do, has to come first.
And then you can believe in being a good one!
Its genuinely ... I mean ... I don't want to be too open here because this is ... uhm. It is 'not' genuinely required to abide by the
games rules to become good at it. At least ... are there games where ... I mean, its all about Dark Souls here. Clearly as a Knight you
have the best chances of survival and thats what you wanna pick and play as if you're so desiring to abide by the Games Rules. You'll
also either use fast weapons or max out on Strength to wield the Big stuff. I mean, you don't wanna trade (thats once both hit each
other, instead of one trying to avoid taking damage) with someone wielding a big fat uber-sword - with any weapon. And using the
mid-range of weapons, a Claymore for instance, isn't good at trading with any kind of weapon and its slow - so - essentially the whole
spectrum there basically sucks. But Dark Souls isn't meant to be easy, and people come up with the weirdest ways of making it even more
difficult - to the point that ... some guy even went through beating all the bosses just using a shield. And I guess there isn't a way
of being less efficient. Anyway, thats the "have it your way" road of actions. But the other way games can play out is that your
preferences totally don't matter - up unto the point where you learned what things to consider; And therefore having a more educated
understanding of the scope wherein you're actually 'free'. In the simplest cases that means that you wanna beat Fire with Water instead
of throwing wood into it. Yeayea, simple stuff. So - I don't need to get too deep into it. But so - the point is that once you understand
the general rules of the games and abide by them - the true dangers, outside of fucking up, are simple enough: Misconceptions! And if
everyone understands "how the game works" - Misconceptions aren't really a terrible threat! It are then yet those that basically lurk in
the dark just waiting for a possibly misconceivable thing to pop up to then jump on it and exploit the living hell out of it that we are
to be concerned about; Which again ... once everyone understands the game ... are easily rooted out!
Thats kindof what 'Love your next as (you Love) yourself' is all about. I mean, if you were to argue that you like it rude - you'll
sooner or later have to accept your place among those that share that! Else you mean nothing but trouble - and thats most certainly
not the point of that passage! In general I like to say that in terms of 'open doors'. If you so like to smack doors shut the moment
someone tries to enter - you're basically asking for the same kind of response to it! And then being upset about those that give it
to you ... thats nasty! So you technically got even more comming your way! You may take that as a warning ... if you so desire ...
but really, its more of a simple assessment than anything else!
I mean, its one thing to not make things too easy for someone - based on the fact that we grow by challenges we face; But if you're
just a prick, words won't save you forever! That now is more like warning! And if you're yet bent on trying ... you shouldn't be
surprised if nobody wants to spend any time around you!
Anyway ... having an oppinion is a two-way thing the moment you express it - or - the moment you behold someone expressing it. See -
no matter how much I might know about everything, if you expect/demand me to be perfect, you're making more than just one mistake! As
always are you responsible for your own actions - and how you deal with someone having an oppinion, thats totally your responsibility;
As to make the 'right way' 'your way' - instead of making 'your way' 'the right way'. That ... requires no further explenation!
And so - the more you demand, the less freedom you get! As: Demand yields judgement - and the way you judge, you will be judged!
Your attitude may seem right enough to you right now, "as always" (and we're 'growing individuals', ... by the way), but setting up
a framework of demands that you can live by ... and demanding others to abide by them ... thats everything wrong about Religion! You
can believe that Christ meant to encourage you to do so, ... but that then still has to compete against other factors, like, you might
also want to say that everyone who believes in Christ is going to be saved! There is a way of meaning it all well - which I behold and
understand that I'm not supposed to judge! But the more serious we have to take it - the more we should focus on reducing possible
errors - in my oppinion - and whatever doctrine you can come up with, there is certainly another doctrine that is different but tries
the same; And if you judge by yours, you might be judged by theirs! Thats I guess the problem of dealing with an Invisible God ...
but if you start with judging yourself - instead of others - and you make things up to yourself - you can actually gain a whole lot
more than just immunity to that first judgement statement! If you wanna judge someone I'm certain you'll find something - which is
another nice way of putting it! The ones that are legitimately redeemed are Mormons - because they can say: "Hey, YOU told me!" -
although within reason God can 'but' this! However - God imposes Himself as a Parental/Fatherly figure ... and thats how we're back
at it ... something we might figure is or should be: 'common sense'!
The point is: If you wanna attract Gods wrath, there certainly are ways to accomplish that! If you want peace with Him and He won't
give it to you, well, God would be the prick! If God were a prick, well, we might as well just kill ourselves ... and it wouldn't
change a thing because He has the Godly powers and thats that! So, within rhyme and reason ... its all as simple as fuck! I mean,
well ... spinning things further we could guess: What if God ... - well - rewarded bad people? I mean, we can see it - that assholes
get all the chicks and stuff like that ... or at least believe it so ... but thats not gonna improve our society! And I'm sure that
God will ... essentially take you to the point where you have to answer to yourself ... what kind of person you want to be ... and that
to me speaks volumes about what He really wants! I mean ... bad shit happens ... like, some Christians not being more Christians than
some Hindu people - one way or another - I mean, I wanna say that circumstances aren't necessarily to be taken as bold Godly statements;
While outside of that, outside of being caught up in really fucked up circumstances, I've made nothing but GOOD experiences with HIM.
And ... you can read into that whatever you so desire! Am I honest? Am I not? Whom do I refer to? Whatever I told you, so far, now or
later, thats not gonna change a damn thing about the fact that you can still twist it all the way you want! And if God blessed me with
success ... well ... I'd be standing there next to all the other successful people that you can also think about whatever you so damn
please! What happened, or matters, to me in all this is that I didn't need success so far to become and stay a believer - which you can
also think about whatever you want! But to me it is exactly this 'personal success' driven/based attitude that makes all the bad stuff
happen! Impatience for instance! You give up, you wanna have cash, you do bad stuff ... aaaaand cut! Win or Loose? Either way I spun it,
its both irresponsible! Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong! Yet I still remember the turmoil within me as ... I mean, the story is the
following: My Gramps made a Testament wherein his property was to be split between my Dad, my Brother and me - equally. Turned out, well,
he forgot to give that Testament to the officials - and since we, my Brother and I, had moved out of his house the Original was in my
Dads hands. So it came to pass that from how things stood officially I didn't get a damn thing ... yet, up to that point the prospect
of sudden wealth was kindof intoxicating. I guess thats what made my Dad and his new Wife not really fond of finding the Testament -
but to rather ... sotospeak ... "unfind" it ... and getting into that part of the story I finally didn't think it'd be worth the
trouble. Point being: if we all could count on Miracles making everything good for us we'd live in a genuinely different world! We'd
either be in one as ours - so, unfolding the hypothetical - saying: We're supposed to learn; Or just and simply in Paradise. That we're
not living in the latter is clear; Kindof obvious; To most at least; While for the learning part ... we'd learn to live by the rules
in order to get them goodies. Thats pretty close to the world we're living in - yet - this 'living by the rules' is a bit more complex
than just going by 10 commandments! The biggest goodie of 'em all is probably that 'peace and wealth for everyone' - and the rules
for getting that one done seems to be the one thats the most straight forward of 'em all - and so, why do we need Miracles?
We need them so we know He is there - and then the lack of them has a demonstrative property. And thats the world we live in!
As you might guess - there is no cure against ... how can we call it? Lets call it "the vile seed". As we know - sometimes we tend
to take more than is given to us. And so there is all that arguing about who is right. Even in Gods presence you could accuse God
for all sorts of things, justified or not, which you wouldn't if you wanted them goodies though. These thoughts take me into an
abstract hypothetical world where social rules are bent to catering to a higher being, worshipping it for them goodies, without
ever learning to be responsible for them in first place - as real as it gets. So technically - if God were a prick we'd live in such
a world. Today we have that "God" called Science - and if science were now to Confirm that God exists - the fact of the situation
being not just either black or white but both - and possibly all in between - further tells us that there is more to it than what we
within our limitted intellect might come to think of. So, while there is no magical cure to this vile seed - there is a way of killing
it; I mean ... there is a cure then ... so for each individual respectively ... and thats called Baptism. It requires you to become
a hero though!
The struggle of Independence
by: Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2016.11.22 - 00:28