Alright ... sigh ... how am I going to settle this? This is so fucked up - I don't even know where to
begin. OK, lets just put this, straight up, up front, as simple as I can: I am not going to abandon
God. Now the Antichrist 'sighs' thinking: "Luckily I am God". NO YOU ARE NOT!
See, dear fellow human beings who got even just a small fraction of the average amount of intellect,
if delusion became a person - it would be the Antichrist. Thats my oppinion.
I had an ongoing reaction this "morning" (its almost 6 pm, I didn't get up too long ago) wherein I basically
rambled on in my head about how Rididculous "this something" is which now makes me write this. I don't know
which impression he got but here and there I figured "Oh no, he's now gonna think that ... isn't he?" - and
now that I sat down and began to write he's like "Oh no, now he's going to be biased to confirm his faith to
the people out there!". Let me assure you - its not just a Bias! Calling what I do here a Bias is like suggesting
that the inventor of the steam engine was just arbitrarily throwing metal onto a heap and bam it became a steam
engine. You could so also claim that my words here only accidentally form cohesive sentences. Whatever suits
you - its not like I ... believe (anymore) that its gonna make a difference.
I so woke up and for some reason kindof got depressed again, like, "Oh no, nobody is gonna come for me, nobody
knows that I'm doing this" etc. - the ordinary moment for me to think about what I did, what I accomplished and
what to do in order to achieve my goals. I don't know how it went on exactly - but the emotional stress was
eventually too much and I "caved in". What happened then is a bit like the Moment in the Matrix Reloaded where
the Agents smith jump onto Neo forming this huge pile - a.k.a. he (the Antichrist) jumped at me sortof thinking
that I'd be leaning towards his side now. And thats where he apparently muffled something along the lines of:
"I thought you were into being Kidnapped". Well, that happens when you strongly and forcefully believe in
something thats just flatout wrong! You just don't get it!
Plus you think you know it all better!
But so I figured: If this is the level of Misunderstanding yet out there - I have to yet be a bit more clear
So - I just accomplished it that he once again is sighing in relief as I emotionally moved closer to this idea
of this Kidnapping - these emotions - which aren't erotic however. None of those emotions is. See, the being
kidnapped part is a part of my clarity - and I had the right words as I started to ramble on in my head and
now those words are gone. I struggle to recall them - so, I ... I need to approach this differently.
I think the Antichrist doesn't believe that 'God' is Eternity. I think that after he became the Antichrist he
studied Christian literature and somehow got stuck on claiming that the powers he received are due to some
weird interpretation of those scriptures and over time he believed in it so much that he forgot how things
actually had happened. I don't know. Or he used the keys doing something that is effectively impossible except
to the point of simulating the desired outcome. Hereby we take the three principles: Life, Wanting and Thought
- and just say that 'life' is the 'Soul' of an individual and can somehow be taken 'out' of a Spirit - so -
arguing that 'Jesus' is the 'Soul' of "God" - and that the keys are some symbolic manifestation of this 'power'
to for instance swap things around. So, he blieves that he is God now - and therefore doesn't understand what
we mean when we say that God is Eternity. That because Eternity to him is "just" this 'Eternal Spirit' which
to him is the "God Power" me might say - and he's pissed that he doesn't have full access to it and hence is
ambitious to find some way to gain full access. Like ... by some missing artificat.
First I think I have to remind him of the 'basis' on which his ... power upon people exists. We would think that
he above all understands "the ways of the human mind". That because he abuses our weaknesses since - god knows
when. So, once I'm 'weak' to his 'oppression' and 'succumb' - I'm only sick and tired of maintaining something
of an inner balance - its like loosing at armwrestling. So to the point that if I lost against you in armwrestling
I wouldn't therefore be your bitch! I would have just lost. So, then we'd drink another beer and maybe go for
it again. Once I didn't know what is being played and I'm so intellectually pushed into a corner with something
literally like a gun held to my face whilst being 'fooled' to believe that joining his cause is the right way
to go - so, a lot of things have to be aligned - then I/a person might fall for him.
Its like so: We can ask anyone, basically, if they understood what I mean by clarity - or that God is Eternity.
The 'simple' stuff. The Antichrist however, lets say, would loose if that person understood. So he'd go and
deliberately explain it in a way thats just flat out incomprehensive. You don't have to be a genious to understand
that in 'that' case the person wouldn't get it - possibly.
With this whole 'he "is" "God"' thing - I usually think of a person who's had a rough day - turns on the news,
all he sees is how fucked up everything is - and then thinking that the Antichrist is God has this weird effect
as the person can't intellectually conceive how this idea is wrong. Its as simple as that 'we are all three things
at the same time'. Life, Wanting and Thought. I've written about that in 'word flipping'. How you can shift the
idea of which implies what totally randomly. You can say that Wanting includes Life and that Life therefore is
something else. That only changes your understanding. Not reality per se. The only way however to take 'me' out
of 'myself' is to take me out of myself and put me into something else - but I still would have my will and my
thought. As without them I cannot 'be'. Maybe it is possible to confuse someone so much that he'll delude himself
to think he's someone else now - ... but anyhow - I don't want to make this a bigger deal than it is. Its simple.
This whole idea that the Antichrist were God is simply put: Based on illusions. Pretending. If you pretend it
the other way - everything works out just fine!
Clarity now is a thing established by the Force in consequence to Unification with the All-surmising spirit.
This statement is either totally easy to understand - or you'll say that this cannot be because the All-surmising
spirit were the power of the Antichrist. And because this Force, these effects of Unification, exist 'beyond
'the veil'' ... as it says in the claim: You cannot break the 9th Seal without God ... he doesn't see them and so
does he not understand that there are things going on in my mind that he has to explain via some bullshit excuse.
So, there - the 10th Seal comes after the 9th - that much should be evident. So, because the 9th Seal is this
Mysterious "higher" thing that follows the 8th one - we can speculate a lot about it. I could say that smoking
a cigarette does the trick for all that I care - and if you believe in it strongly enough you might feel enlightened
after your first tobacco flash. We can even come up with a solid philosophy - like, that its an embracement of our
own mortality - that we need to take that step of intentionally impairing our health to realize "the truth".
And by the way: Yes - smoking has an intellectually envigorating effect. I believe that 'tranquilizing' your
body gives your mind some space to unfold. Thats the ... 'Mind-Body duality'. If you drink liquor on the other hand,
so, anything that 'increases' your metabolism should have the opposite effect. How this 'actually' translates into
reality is a bit more complicated. Marijuana does more than just tranquilizing your body. Its what I called a
'psycho-kinetic' substance. Just like coffeine doesn't have the same effect as alcohol. And - those effects wear
off eventually. So, just in case you somehow were tempted to actually believe this bullcrap!
So, we can imagine the 9th Seal as a Gate (you might want to think of some particular movie maybe - which I think
is a good movie but it doesn't tell you jackshit about Unification. Its just a fun thriller in the 'theme' of
discovering Unification. Just ... totally abstract. The thing with the pictures is thereby a metaphor for what
you see in those riddles. Like, the fake ones would tell you that all you got to do is to smoke a cigarette.) -
and as it is with gates ... they lead somewhere. So, lets say you're on a square with four gates - one into
either direction - and behind each gate there is a bridge on the other end of which there is another gate. So,
these 'first' gates were the 9th, and the latter ones were the 10th. If you smoked a cigarette and the flash
wears off you might feel ... 'clear' again ... and might say - yea - thats the 10th seal! But basically you're
just back at where you began. Just a bit smarter. As much smarter as once you've eaten something for the first
time. Give or take. Like ... there are mushrooms like this and mushrooms like that - some might be 'more interesting'
to consume than others. And some are deadly - by the way. Yet, its kindof dangerous to make fun about that! Like,
making it a "big conspiracy" ... so yea ... please don't! Don't get me wrong - ... as ... obviously you - we might
say - would yet come to see 'the Light' - even so the proverbial Light at the end of the tunnel - but you might also
jump from a skyscraper with the same effect.
So, what I'm trying to say is that the Eternal 'Spirit' - where Spirit is: Life, Wanting AND Thought (a.k.a. that
which 'our minds' are made of - where yea - we aren't 'that' Eternal - so, if it seems absurd to you that a human
mind can be that great, as: Present and Conscious within each and every particle of existence, including each of
even the most miniscule traces of thought within each and every living being - yea, thats the point! God is God!
God is greater than we are! Period!) - in its capacity to create and maintain the vastness of the Universe we live
in - physical reality as a whole (it exists!) - can be something similar to us within. That so in a sense of
symbiosis. So it is less the experience of 'Force' in general that takes you to THE 10th Seal, but the experience
of THE Force in its 'true Form' that exists as medium for God in process of this Unification. What this means is
is that if you just experience some Force, it comes and goes. Like a wind-blow. There's Force alright! If God however
"takes you 'in'", this is as an embrace. This embrace comes in form of something we can perceive/experience - on
behalf of God wanting it so. Thereby God enters a 'commitment' - which expresses itself in a continous presence of
this Force - and that isn't just some ecstasy! It follows a purpose. A purpose ... like Marriage. As in 'commitment'.
Gods commitment to your growth thereby. So you eventually get to the 10th Seal - and this one pisses the Antichrist
off I think - as in, he might think we just say that in order to annoy him. What happened to me is that I - I was
clean at that time (except you want to say that Mormon sacrament are drugs - in which case ... you have to experiene
it for yourself anyway so you got to take my word for it) - I saw someone shining from inside. So, a person whom I
knew, I might consider him a friend, a normal person sitting there in church some rows in front of me, who all of a
sudden appeared as a figure of Light. That is the 'first' 10th seal/gate. From there I got to an 11th and 12th and
finally 13th - a.k.a. 'the Silence' - and then there came a higher impression of the force. Now extended beyond just
the physical and introducing a metaphysical interpretation of existence within its manifestations. Lights looked
different - as anyhow the entire plasticity of existence had changed for me. Impressions wise. I might get things
out of order though. Yet bright as daylight there was another 'Light' - which is like an Orb filled with blue sky
and a Light more magnificent than I can imagine - so, like Sunlight. Then some time layer there was the 'Ice' -
where - here its no longer 'Light', but 'Identity' - as the 10th Seal is both. Light and Identity. First came the
Light - then came identity. The ice is the point where the process of growth takes us 'into ourselves' - where we
learn how God works with us internally - co-existent with everything our mind does and surmises - and the whole point
there is that this 'Force' is only visible to the individual. So, you can't really measure it from the outside. I
suppose. There are a few tricks though. It is said for once - and I can confirm that - that on a warm day, if you
"throw your spirit into the air" God will send a wind-breeze. I can, when I try to 'Force Lift' (Telekinesis) an
object - well - not move it, but get an impression of how much it weighs. So I can somehow tell whether a tetra pack
is full or not. But if you're skeptical: That doesn't proof unification. Its the same thing. The only way to the
Father is by Christ. If you can't trust God - whom or what can you trust? God is the apex of trustworthiness. The
foundation of reality.
I don't know how often I'll have to repeat this.
So, summary: The 10th Seal isn't a one time thing - its like a 'marker' for once you've completed another 'cycle'
of growth. The first time around its simple: You don't have to do anything. The second one you have to work for.
It may be the third one. Its the second in terms of ... what impressed me. A clear destinction into how which
what and when - its all less obvious than you might think. The 10th is however obvious. The thing with this second
one so is that at first I had to 'workout' my 'faith'. So, spiritual strength or willpower. Beliving that God is
there for us - and little by little working out your doubts. This happens via a sword - at first. While you believe
that God is there for you it'll be sheathed. Whenever you doubt it it'll unsheathe. So, each time you've so accomplished
a goal the appearance will change - and while in the beginning you're fluctuating, in 'phase' 2 its basically - first
of all - a "T-shirt" - like, the elven-armor given to Frodo. So, once you doubt - the fibres will desolve. Once you've
made it strong enough it will become wrist-bands. Like - those of Wonder Woman. So, little by little doubts disappear
- with occasional moments of ... like the bow and arrow. Doubt makes you at first 'fire' an arrow - where a bit further
down you'll get to the point where doubts are like 'drawing' an arrow. And at that point you can 'reason' along, like,
what is the 'legitimicay' of that doubt. So you empty that quiver and then get to phase 2.
The last phase might be interesting - since - maybe each of us has a different Form. I'm a ... "Bird(wo)man". A 'Finix' :b.
After putting in all that faith the demand is the opposite - and that one basically fades out into ... just living.
By 'the opposite' I mean that instead of 'putting faith into it' you have to just 'trust' it. Whenever you mean to
actively believe in it - thats wrong. So, you have to lean back - effectively. The 'putting faith into it' part is
relative to the 12th Seal (procreating spirit) - after which you get back to 'peace' - and this 'sky orb' is like
the conclusion of that process. Its Light still. Then there is the ice - that again is something that just happens at
some point. All one can do is wait for it. And what follows is building up to the point where you can 'accept'
clarity - in terms of understanding it as divine revelation. Its thereby still 'light' in a sense - but now its more
evitably also 'identity'.
So, this 'sky orb' is already somehow preparational to clarity in the sense that it gets 'clear as day' that the same
force that establishes the magnificence of sunlight can create the same magnificence within you. And clarity is as
magnificent - though - more in shape of a crystal than a radiating orb of gas. And because God is 'immense', there is
no 'cost' associated to it. So, the same wealth resides within our emotional relationships. So, what used to be Kinks
would then be 'Super Kinks' - sotospeak. To now say: Me 'wanting to be Kidnapped' is the expression of one of those
relationships - simply drawn into that situation. We might call it 'an excuse to excercise Bondage fun'. Or to so
'rape' or 'being raped'. The force thereby establishes the illusion by emphasizing certain thoughts above others by
'including them into clarity'. And there is no crime involved. ... is this understood? ... why do I doubt that?
The complication may occur maybe because I'm aware of relationships that are effectively just 'potential'. The thing is that
if you aren't 'in' (as in 'within Unifiation' as in '(symbiotically) Unified with the All-surmising Spirit')
you aren't interesting for me. Its like ... if I wanted money and you gave me Bison Dollars. (Street Fighter (the
Van Damme movie) reference). So, a lot of these clarity Kinks are just 'play'. Mostly 'intellectual cushionning' to
accomodate our practices. And if you at any point had the impression that this is to extent beyond Unification you
got it wrong! I'm not telling these things to you to tell you that I want to be kidnapped - and I say this in a sense
where 'no' means 'no'. What I'm telling you of is the 'wealth' of a life with God! How much more clear do I have to
So, what I would want - in regards of the Antichrist - is for him to repent; And then its not unthinkable for me to
be his occasional bitch in whatever weird and abstract way. Yet initially he would most certainly be the one who is
to bow to others than being the one people bow before - as - if you join the military and are just a rookie, the
General will most likely not follow your orders!
So, when I reason in regards to my clarity a lot is not unthinkable - ... some average guy who is into handling 'me'
the way I 'want it' (a.k.a. 'according to my wiring') would do. As mentioned: Essentially Monica could right away
give me away to someone where I'm supposed to be a bitch and because of how I'm wired I'm going to like it. But these
are just technicalities. There is a way, potentially, regarding each individual who's Unified with God. At least those
on the dark side. But that is not to say, "obviously", that 'clarity aligned' is the 'only' way to go. So, we 'could',
technically, go 'full perversion' or 'actually rather normal'. As we are 'free' human individuals. And 'I' however am
passive in this - so, however I wanted it ... my ambitions are irrelevant. Hence, I think, I don't have much of a
barrier when it gets to thinking towards the most perverted outcome I could think of. It doesn't matter. Only
'objectively' there is that line of reasoning that a more perverted way to go would be detremental to 'the cause' -
and hence God wouldn't support it. That means that how I'm wired wouldn't matter either! It just wouldn't work.
And this isn't said on just a hunch. I've written about this over and over again - thought about it a lot - and while
originally being somehow more naive about it, a.k.a.: Not seeing anything other than clarity and being so full-on into
max perversion - it turns out that there is more to be said ... and that alone already constitutes the other side that
cannot be excluded from the subject.
So, this is how my 'kinks' work. Thats how I enjoy them. Thats how I feel safe no matter how dark my desires might
be! Although all I 'can' want is getting raped - although my paradise exists within my own detrement, despair and
demise, ... this all is only true within the confines of my clarity. This in this world might very well summ up
into nothingness, nothing more than just a private flavour (regarding an specific group of individuals) - while in
a completely Enlightened world it could as well be the only thing that really mattered. Then I wouldn't really have
to do anything - and still there is space for me to yet do other stuff; But still within confines of captivity (as
of my clarity) and dependent on the 'mercies' of those that own me. They technically 'can' do with me whatever they
want; But as said - this still all depends on God.
And so - I've ... somehow outlined this in earlier writings. I occasionally get the idea/sense/feelings of that
whenever I write about clarity ... well, I mean ... there is this huge outcry that goes like "Oh no, the Antichrist
won/will win" - and if thats what you get from it this time ... I'm here to tell you up front: You're getting it
wrong! Especially so if you want to establish 'that' - well - you would for instance have to somehow trade me in,
to the Antichrist, for some reason; Especially if you don't even consider asking me if you've gotten it right!
And I'm saying this because I believe that there where the Antichrist or 'False Prophet' is doing his thing, well,
people are kindof deluded like that! I still have this feeling that there even are people that believe that I don't
have a mind of my own. Like I couldn't even talk. That all what I do is just accident. That you always have to read
between the lines because I'm biased or cannot be trusted or whatever. What next? Wanna tell me that Tom Cruise is
a good actor? (Sorry dude, but next to Jack Nicholsen you're ... not really shining!). Well, whatever. In that case
however I wouldn't want to talk to you! As in: 'don't want to'. Emphasis is on 'wanting'. Or how could I proof to
you that I actually do have a mind of my own? Not at all and not by not wanting either? Right - its pointless! Its
Thus I suppose the Antichrist will not anytime soon believe it any other way. He apparently gets things twisted.
Me being 'aware' of him is 'not' equal to Love or Lust or Sympathy or Attraction or anything like that! Its just
'awareness'. And the way 'awareness' works in a balanced mind is that it provides the one who is aware of something
with information about what he is aware of. So, in simplest cases: That the thing exists - in some way, and be it
just an idea. And the awarenesses regarding many things eventually correlate and lead to potential conclusions.
Thats the part where our minds basically work like a computer. 1+1=2. If you have to despeartely hold on to certain
beliefs then your mind is 'unbalanced'. You are 'strongly biased' in terms of which terms make it into your
calculator and which ones don't. 'Heavily Biased' means that if you don't like a conclusion you'll possibly discard
some parts of what led to it - or you'll look further to change the result to a desired outcome. This mostly affects
us when dealing with foreign concepts of belief - a.k.a. religions. In regards to Neo Gnosticism this translates into
some kind of anxiety regarding Gods will - the idea that you might not like it; That you'd have to give up certain
things. I won't tell you that you won't have to give up anything - but I'm assuring you that its worth it!
The first step of Neo Gnosticism is to assume that God exists - which implies an awareness of what advanced Neo
Gnostics say 'is' God - and to then basically at least just symbolically that step towards this Entity - a.k.a.
Eternity. So, you don't conclude beacuse you're possibly not going to like the econclusion anyway - you take it
from there rather. You start off with the 'supposedly right' conclusion and in theory build on that. The balance
issue implies that you don't right away have to believe - but to be pragmatically considerate about the potential
facts! First things first! Ahw, sigh. What now?
Well, so it went before there was any clear evidence for God! So also: Once there is evidence, there is no need to
conclude. Its there - a piece of awareness - which furthers your understanding! #peacethefuckout
No deeper meaning