I do feel really conflicted about myself - and while already most of my thoughts have vanished; I can regard that as irrelevant and kindof feel like, yea, (most of) you get the idea. I'm imperfect.
What remains is the issue with Astair - and, on that side - yea, I ... can see various points where I was or still am sortof 'unfortunately entangled' with stuff but there is no real point in figuring any of that out. Be it a thing or not ... well OK, that doesn't sound well ... but yea, focussing on what really matters is far more substancial and for anything Astair/Jinx related it makes sense to just 'generalize' all that into mistakes. Maybe it is not a thing and only appears to me as such while rather being 'concurrent streams of thought'. So, less manipulation but more ... perception. How 'Jinx' then works - yea, hoho - is as with any drug or social interactions; "Group Pressure", confirmation bias - all that, however tied to 'a' 'meta plane'.

Mistakes to crawl forth from. As one moves forward into the Light, the shady stuff vanishes.

So - with all that out of the way; There are two big things on my mind - generally. One of them is that I'm feeling an increasing pressure to answer some of the issues concerning my Video Game visions. Like - saying yes or no towards the flack of me being too ambitious - and it would show as I haven't gotten anything done yet.

There is however something else that makes me very ... upset in a sense. So, to move on I've got to share all my secrets with no guarantee of any kind to get anything in return; And I'm not feeling comfortable about it.

If on another note one of the issues is for me to 'get ready' ... yea; I ... couldn't push it - and so; What am I doing now then?

I think what bothers me the most is that anything I say 'will be' (as it has ever been, seriously) misunderstood - still can't take the things that matter - ... so, that amounts to a double 'F U' from my side.
I mean - cool. There is some counter argument. And what do I worry?

Well, lets say if I chose to not do something its part of my extended genious and part of the reason why I'll win!


And yea. I should ask God in such ... unclear conditions and He's pretty much on my side here. "For a change". I mean, usually He'd advise me to focus on my programming - but once I just 'can't' - that isn't a thing. So I learned ... to live by my "Gut feeling". And well ... however, Resident Evil - the Last Chapter ... what an amazing M...mmm ... ajor piece of Junk. It 'sucks'. All the previous movies, while being sortof on the trashy side of the fence could still be considered 'Masterpieces' (with some cynicism) - while they had something cheesie rolling and eventually built up to this big climactic end ... but Final Chapter just throws all that out of the window.

After Retribution one might think that at least the Fighting scenes should be good. Err. The opposite. Back to fast cuts and wiggly camera bullshit. But hey, pointless Umbrella Superbike!

This to me marks the end. Like in Matrix Revolutions where Smith "finally" stands before the Oracle. Or ... is something else going on?

Well, I actually got dragged out of my slumber - filled with energy and zeal - on this note. Leading up to it was some trail of thought that basically continued where I left off.
So, first of all - if my shit is "too ambitious" - well, its either true - or you're just not having it! (Talent). And that is my stand on it. Like the more obvious fact: I didn't invent the Original X-Com. If God can inspire me, he can inspire others. And so for some reason I might have just learned programming to understand some of the stuff He'll need/needed me to write about.
Like - that either way, IT is going to be pretty substancial for the future and if it ends up being something only 'the Elite' understands ... God save our souls/have mercy upon us!

This idea of 'I' have to do stuff kindof leans to an interpretation of the Bible where I, were I 'the One' had to first somehow silence all my opposition; Because "I shall not find them anymore". M'kay! Really? Like, where, where is it written? That I'm not going to be the one delivering the final punches? Or such?

And I 'hate' to see this 'focus', and growing 'relevance' of understanding "who is Illuminati and what not". Why do you care? You wanna look up to someone - have some 'bullshit' reason to move your ass. Yea, feels like 6/7 years ago. Still the same sorrowful story.

The way I see it, "we scorched the sky" - by, simply 'stopping' to make good stuff. As the Antichrist was rising, we just said: OK screw it! Saying: "Let them lead the way!". Except maybe some ... niche things. Maybe. Maybe its inspiration of some other kind. And its logical! Why would we want to shell out any good product; Knowing that the Antichrist would find some way of ripping us off? Couldn't happen? Well - I don't think so! Its a thing about ... things that we just wouldn't do! Kindof. Except - we kindof ... turned it around and so we're those that mimic them. Maybe.
I just find it hard to believe that "this" what we have today is 'the future of gaming' that I was looking forward to back in the days. Whether it be good to your eyes or not - I think we wouldn't have done something like the X-Com reboot. While; Well - if I doubt that, then 'every' game out there is Good; And we'd only look at the shittiest of shitful shitgames ... and say: Hey, the other guys did that! Whatever side you believe is responsible for the good stuff.

I believe its better this way. "We scorched the sky by loading our stuff up with shit". "We scorched the sky by making shit movies". "We scorched the sky ...". Except every now and then there's a little Light ... for all those desperate consumers out there that are just sick and sicker of digging through this abyss. So, yay for Fury Road!

Well - in another sense; What really gets me up and upper against most of the recent Marvel nonsense ... is well, most of it is simply put: Calculated nonsense. Its 'apparently' innovative - but essentially its just capitalizing on Innovation that has come prior (Ironman) - where: Take shitty plot, random heroes; Add some silly jokes and one-liners, cram the whole shit full of easter eggs and references (stuff "we know" people like) - and kindof mask everything behind "the Antichrists magic Jizz" ... so, this whole "Badassing" - pretentiousness, stuff happening that distracts from the shittiness of the whole - (Deadpool wasn't too bad though). Once I look through YouTube ... I only as of recent have found material that requires me to not say what I want to say without some disclaimer. But in general - most of the time - the only movies I found 'disected' for their good or bad were movies that stood on the better side in my book! While, when it gets to the Avengers ... all they have going for them is an entertaining synergy between the cast. The new Ghost Rider however ruined Agents of Shield for me - and Colson couldn't save that!

Maybe it wasn't the Ghost Rider per se; But it sure drove a splinter into my eye and I just couldn't watch it anymore. Sure, the car is cool as in 'right up my alley' - the Character also ... not too bad ... but the whole shift from Hero to actually bad ... nope! Dislike! That ain't the Ghost Rider!

"But what do I know?". If the comics are not my taste either, so that! Yea - I'm a fan of the Nicholas Cage movie. And on that note I did let the second one 'pass'. I know when I'm enjoying trash ... no need to lecture me on that!
I think!

The movies that really stand out for me are 'not' Calculated Nonsense. I would say. The real 'breakthrough' was I would say the Force Awakens. By then it has been standard that every other movie gets hated to the ground - and this movie really deserveds that treatment! If any, then that one!

I think the biggest reason why Specter wasn't that successful was Monica Bellucci. I so imagine the Antichristians trying to figure out what to do - ending at the conclusion that 'rather not hyping her up that hard' would be the best way to go.

Its like ... the moment that Stargate touched more specifically on the God subject, ... cancelled! Plus due to me, well, Amanda Tapping is sortof on the same list as Monica Bellucci. About Megan Fox I'm not that sure - but ... I still think her role in the first Turtles movie was disgraceful! How the hell is that a proper April? She certainly didn't turn out to be a 'Star Reporter'/High profile Journalist or whatever - just some silly girl with even sillier ... silliness.
Its like that role got written to humiliate her.
And so Transformers, once actually pretty good - became almost synonymous with 'Holly-bullcrap'. I see a connection there. You know, at the very least do people hear stories - and then they think, and conclude: OK, maybe it is OK to hate on that Bay guy.
Jennifers Body wasn't that great ... but it was good enough! And seeing her basically acting out this "I will stay relevant" part ... I mean ... it has something great and cheesy to it.

Also no surprise: After Madonna got out with her 'Illuminati' song - well - next you know, all sorts of people we don't like want to show up in her video. Its like, yea ... pretty dark actually. Which reminds me: As of this 'new understanding' of Astair ... I have to adjust. Instead of seeing the energies as 'hostile activity' its ... 'real time' - so - saying, things seem worse now than they seemed before! And why wouldn't it be so? Most people don't know what the hell is wrong in this world; And sooner or later they would get sucked into one trap or another. But catering to that twisted point of view isn't necessarily where I believe we should be going! So, under the line, we can kindof ignore that. In my opinion!


Or, well - at all! Because any other way we still should make sure to deliver our lines properly. Yea ... fuck me!

I mean ... whatever. I'm still pretty positive about most being not willingly swimming in Shit creek! And how I'm concerned of things; Once I'm writing things - none of those beliefs even matter. I have some sense of an opposition or "desync" - and I respond to that. So - as I treat you as 'skeptical' while if I were to 'trust my "greater understanding"' ... which might be wrong or not entirely right ... that would be nonsensical!

As for 'not underestimating my Enemy' - I need to emphasize that I don't believe that Donald Trump is everything. He really fits one specific 'thing' ... and I still believe that he is a good general representation of "that" - and sure, a part of me wants to believe that they were actually serious about him; But I also believe that they have enough shit going on elsewhere that they don't really need to rely on him. At least in order to survive - sotospeak.

And the 'Hypocrite' headline at this instance serves another purpose than the one I had on mind initially; Although its not that deep actually. So in this context its just a buzzword thrown around to tag some label onto me - where, if thats on me; Thats like a sail and whatever nonsense one could come up with were like wind. Just had to be coated in apparent rationality delivered by 'respectable individuals' - and its 'probably' an easy laugh - against me.

Its like 'the Mod excuse'. See, I'm not unaware of the fact that there are people out there who didn't consider the X-Com reboot a 'real' X-Com game; ... but such comments usually got the 'Just Mod it' treatment. Like you can make it more difficult. "Duh" and 'LOL'. Like that has anything to do with it! Like I or anyone really got their joy out of seeing their soldiers die! Which granted: Is a way to play it. And sure - sometimes its just ... so. I wouldn't reload the game after each failed shot. But eventually the success of the mission comes down to 'one single shot' - like, out of ammo, one crabman on the field, ... and then every shot counts.
However. The thing is: If there is a game I end up hating for some reason - simply because it does things in a way that just doesn't sit with me - ... then, lets say there are all the mods to address all of my concerns; Yea, I 'kindof' had to change my mind. But actually? Why the hell would or should I? To me modding is fun - fair enough - which will concern me if the game is any fun to begin with. If I had enough fun with it so I know what each mod would change and how it might effect my experience. Like, going crazy with Minecraft.

Yea, one more "acquired" thing. Similar story!

(And 'firaxis' and '2K' have always been unsympathic to me! And so is MaximillianDood for instance. Thats by the way that keeps floating around as the "others" like ... whats the ... uh, Sargon of Akkad. Which kindof hurts me to say though!)

By the way: Anti SJWs ... some of them ... behave like Lawyers. Roman Catholic Clerics are also kindof like that; Just so more on the scammy end.//04:04

"Thou shalt not pass lest though layest bold the conspiracy". Thanks God - I hate my life!

05:13. Yea. Know what I did during this ... 1 hour? Watching the Angry Video Game Nerd! Maybe there is in deed one guy 'doing' stuff in this world "for the greater good" thats worse off than me!

05:37. Thank You - mr. AVGN. Well - I just say that because I thought ... wouldn't it be nice ... to get 'thanked' for all the shit-wading. However. Finally - I've come up with a theory. Its surprisingly simple.

Looking through the shit the AVGN presents its actually quite stunning to realize ... just ... how "E.T." the Video Game ... doesn't quite cut it ... but I figure - remembering just one of those is kindof bad enough ... I think.
Tiger games. The ... definition of the pile. Shitcrap, outdated, ... marketted. I actually remember ... being to a friend of my Brother and he had some of ... games like that - and I had a pitty on him. I guess it might have been hard at that age to make that not sound like a "Haa haa" - I didn't do that - but, how to ... tell? "Sorry, you're playing shit!". I had a Game Boy at that time. Yea, "snobs". What can I say? My gramps was wealthy, my dad had a well payed job too I guess. He worked at a city hall. However ... I get it. If thats all you have, well, you kindof get used to it I guess. So, Video Games for the less fortunate? It ... makes me sad to even consider leaving it like this! Really! Really! Kindof. I mean - its ... weird. I have this weird feeling. Its sadness, but it kindof feels like dried up tears stuck in the inside of my eye. It makes me want to break my eyes ... kindof.

Atari was a step up from that. And I had the pleasure - I guess - too. Some friends of my parents owned one - and ... I don't know ... well, as someone used to the NES ... I want to denounce any ideological connection between me and whatever spawned that stuff.

I'm cynical here - but serious!

Well, point. The point! OK, point point point. The people who made at least 'some' of that stuff ... they certainly are 'not' those people I mean by, well, those who invented a game because they fancied doing so from an I.T. standpoint - or ... hmm ... Tiger games. OK, I need to backpaddle a little.
Pong ... end of the line.
Thereafter ... well, I'm not up on history - so ... lets just say, shit happened.

But well. What I'm reading into it is a certain level of discent unto players. This ... attitude of "Video Games are for Children" ... a.k.a. "Drooling Dullards". And this attitude of exploiting juvenile innocence by the power of the industry - it kindof ... moves through the industry as the proverbial thread. Would you think that any kindof evolution happened? Like, some degree of rationality applied to even just remotely care for some minimalistic extent of quality? Well - I think we can see that 'eventually' yea, someone "up there" figured: "OK, maybe people don't want to play 'every shit' that there is". Its beyond me, to some level, to buy into this though - simply because good games have been around; But then ... . Well. On an offnote I had mentioned it before. What you do if there is already a good game like Zelda ... and there isn't any reason to own anything - else. So, the idea that there are those games that 'work' - and there cannot be anything else that ... does? So X-Com reboot had to be an X-Com game; Instead of a standalone. Thats ... connected.
The reason why Disney appropriated Marvel and Star Wars. Err ... well, anyhow.

I so was up and on to say/believe that at some point this shittrain got to a stop. But - its like, whenever I'm leaning positively towards the Antichrist(ians) I get reminded of stuff, like, if I were to watch some Video wherein they would at some point speak the word 'Psychopath' - I possibly end up thinking positively about the Antichrist just prior to that. Get me?
But ... anyhow.
Its kindof weird to say that 'no' - the Shit Train didn't stop - considering that we don't have all that many bad games these days. I mean - when compared ... ... . (But yea, honestly: Nioh is one of those games ... that ... give me a ... breeze of that old air. ...). But yea ... we have press today. Or, do we?

But yea - this next bit is supposedly important. So, we have some quality improvement to recognize - that is sure. And to get it out of the way: This is where ... I sense something like hope. Like, if these 'shadow figures' who produced all that crap learned what it means to make a good game. Which is really where the depth of this issue is at.

What makes me think 'no' is perhaps just nitpicking; But it comes as ... one possible line of evolution. Going further, when asking for "what "kids" want", than just marketting. Kindof. Though its pretty much still marketting. Things you can say that the game has, CG Trailers, Cutscenes - so, giving us 'what we want' - and eventually landing a hit ... saleswise ... and then continuing the old game of beating the cash out of the customers. Like "thank God for Mobile Games/Facebook"? Microtransactions?

So, with that said - the idea that we at least aren't ripped off as hard these days anymore is kindof debatable. Well yea, at least one has a choice. OMG! "Nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the programming if they were given a choice".

I think there's an Irony to 3D - as, technically; My perspective; Its more difficult to design for 3D. For those ... "rippers" its however much simpler. Well, which however also means its mostly ... 'basic' stuff. Arguing that once there's an engine running; Its somehow consistent in its ... "sys.." - what am I talking? Well, a 3D environment is more versatile, consistent and somehow logical than ... a 2D environment. (Replacing assets in a 3D environment can be covered up more easily because ... everything is kindof the same).

Anyhow - this changes something. It would say that once you have a proper foundation; One were entitled to inspiration that ... wouldn't suck!??? Hmm ... nah. Whatever. I ... don't want to be like that; Actually.

Anyhow - does this end here? It only begins here I fear. But something like "How to recognize a shitty game" ... I ... want to refuse going down that road!

But yea. In my head its furtherso that the Antichrist is in charge of all the bad shit; But he sucks, obviously - and eventually needs others to do some shit so he can sit down and inject his semen into the ... or spread it over it; ... and woe if you don't like it! ^^ hihi!

Forgive me please! My mind is a mess; And these are thoughts straight from that dumpster.

And I'm still serious! Anyhow [shaking head to shake some dreck off] - and back from taking a piss, I think I'm supposed to wrap this up now. So, he's good at marketting, manipulating children, and orchestration. So, Hitler - basically.

Yea, ... thats ... not really new - ... ! Hmm.

What am I doing here?//07:44//Have I mentioned that I believe that my weed is getting laced with Meth? Seems absurd, but at least the last stuff I had ... well, there is this ugly taste in my bong which reminds me of some time where ...; ... and it made me awkwardly awake. Though - I kindof didn't ... don't remember how much coffee I drank. Anyhow, there were times where I could drink coffee and sleep; Now I drink coffeine and it seemingly keeps me awake for fucking ever!

And yea - this is by no means waterproof. We could say that things had to start somewhere and there wasn't enough time to care for quality; ... which ... in my oppinion hasn't changed! There are good games - or if we're unfortunate 'decent' ones - that we enjoy and make us gamers (hmm ... perhaps thats just the good ones) - and yea; I feel obligated to ... stop nonsense from being made. I think of the pitty I had. Which is also why I'm mostly a console gamer. There were good PC games in-deed, but some of the earlier Jump n Runs I played - they weren't Mario. I see that I can't ultimately judge that. Its yet an emotional thing for me.

Hence on another note it seems like all the shit was made by 'responsible people' that wanted Kids to not play Video Games - and back we are. I realized; There's a Video I once saw which actually belongs here. Its a TED talk about the effects of Video Games on the brain. Once thats seen we got to argue our way through 'how' any of these benefits are actually relevant. [sigh]. And that may ultimately be down to preference or opinion, maybe attitude - even so an issue between wether or not we want to "train for war" (no shit) - or even suspecting that certain Video Games are just that. LoL were like training for using Drones, CoD and co. were training for tactical behaviour. So we can project that this back and forth isn't going to end unless we just ignored it; Or either side got extinct.

To some extent I feel like the enemy is counting on me to stumble down this hole to then call me out on biases - and yea, you're right AVGN, your Vocabulary is at some point whats left to close this with.

I mean, from this angle - every gamer is a potential terrorist. But ... "if it weren't filmed nobody would believe it". I mean, there are some 'real' sports freaks out there that would make pretty decent Ninjas - and whats up with that? Ban sports?

Which requires me to notice: On the 'Action 52' episode we get a NES vs Sega Genesis comparison - and the Sega game is more of a ... skill thing. So, "Training Aspect reloaded". Not for the fun, just ... reactions, skill, precision - ... . It makes me think of the Antichrist as dad who'd buy his kid a Sega because thats where his stocks were at; And the kid wouldn't like it and his dad would give him shit for that.

OK, Objective Complete! Apparently. Whatever, However, Whenever - ... yay! 08:16.

Sigh ... or ... not?