Uhm ...

You shall decorate me and exalt me - lift me up and prepare me - so that what I share can reach accross the globe for everyone to hear and see.


Now, this isn't to ignore what I've written previously. And, it's complicated. Just like now - this particular issue and things I want to say about how I started this, do overlap. So - I'd literally have to split in two to properly address that, and you probably would have to split in two also to catch up on it. If you have the time to begin with.

So, what I wrote about recently - it's a thing. Just as, at least for now, things have gotten somewhat complicated - or complex beyond 'just complicated'. And that, coming from an individual, isn't even odd. What might be odd is that I actually seem to be capable of handling it somehow.

But - what I didn't notice up unto this morning was, that ... what I ended up leaving you with generated an expectation (I thought is reasonable) that ... I'm afraid I can't properly live up to. The critical piece is - we might call it: The moving through this world. I interpreted it as wheels. I mean, if a bunch of people said "hi" and stuff - I think I could handle some of it. Within a narrow view of mine. As, say - influencers - who would mostly follow their own schedule and ... I'd be in a good position to just ... shuffle things around, as it were. But if it came to actually ... pull some weight ... I think I'd be lost. And if that's basically what that line of thinking boiled down to - what's left for me? Well - it would seem ... to relegate as much as possible to other people. Leaving me with ... just being around.

So, in a sense I want to return to just before I threw you for a loop - where I act as though you might have a plan or whatever - and that being that.


In that regard, what I wrote of previously contains a bunch of messages. Things ... that would be difficult to get a handle of. At first, in the immediate, for right here, something about sincerity.

So, not to ignore what I set out to do - but now obviously don't care about - one thing for me is that it yet impacted me as though I'd still be doing it. At least to some extent. So, I've been serious about it - and whatever change that brought is in effect - except that the way I'm now on is ... well ... "oddly similar" to the one I was on before.

To you the read may have lead you to some other things. Though maybe this now comes too early for what I think that might be to even ... take place. And this is the kind of conundrum I meant to escape.


Here's an interesting video that does frame something about it in a somewhat different Light. What is therein described as the Gell-Mann Amnesia, she further extends by something she calls Mann-Gell Amnesia. And that is something I do know rather well. Though it wouldn't be quite accurate, you could say that it is the foundation to all that you find on this site.
To say, yea - this is the summary of all the "Uhm, Actually!"'s that bother me in a semi-daily basis.

And yea, like so - my take on that issue would be that ... uhm ... (including the Igon Value Problem) ... we maybe would benefit if we could learn to harness their power.


But ... uhm, Mann-Gell Amnesia. So - something I stumbled upon recently was Emma Vigland (Majority Report) having a take on something that I wrote about, that I thought was far better than mine. And some time thereafter I wrote something about people potentially ougrowing me - and by that I specifically thought of her regarding that instance. And I don't even know anymore what that was. That was just before she had an appearance getting Dimmy Pool to call her a Pedo. :/ what was it again? I had some convoluted ... ah yea, the Joe Rogan thing ... about narratives.
I mean - it's a topic that is on people's minds - like plenty of other things.


So is there this particular video, which corresponds to something that has been on people's minds - and thus also made it to my attention. And as for classical Mann-Gell Amnesia - or something along those lines - I have to bite my teeth to appreciate it for what it is, rather than ... insisting on my own "well, actually". I mean, it's probably fair of me to chime in still.

What I at some point thought to write of, but somehow got lost under the rubble - so-to-speak, was that the issue between "the left" and "the right" on this issue is, that terms such as beauty, taste, beauty-standards and fat-shaming get conflated into being one and the same thing; Well - naturally, by - as it kind of is their thing - the right of course.

And so while I was thinking of it - I was like imagining to do a little "TED talk" detailling my shared concept/take on conditioning by drawing out how beauty and body positivity aren't the same thing.
Though that's usually the Conservative/"Anti-SJW"(a.k.a. Anti Woke) argument goes. "I have beauty standards, therefore I must fatshame people!". Which may then be how we get to games like League of Legends - where there are plenty of different body types. Let's say 20. Two of which are female (There's Illaoi(?) - and the rest).
And a response like: "Do you want our women to be ugly?" - runs counter to what "the body positivity movement" tries to accomplish. For sure. So, in the idea, it's totally fine for someone like Gragas to be running around the Rift ... so, yay Body Positivity, but not so for a woman?

And sure - in case it needs mention: That's what people mean by "we live in a Sexist world", or at least in part. That Woman in media always need to be boiled down to attracting the male gaze - or be shoved off to the sides where people can ignore them. It is not about lauding the female Gragas as the new Beauty Standard - it's not to say that you have to be "wow! Super Pretty!" though it is kind of about opening up towards seeing more ... than what a binary beauty standard might capture.

And that would be a good place for me to fit into.


So, for the conditioning part - there's a nice episode of Supergirl (which probably isn't really relevant), in which Lena figures out that she can separate her "Luthor Skills" from the fear of "Acting like a Luthor". Which in a sense is about untangling threads - to somewhere else tie all the good ones together into something new and better.
I'm not far enough into the show to fully see what they make of Lena, but thus far she's been an interesting Character. That because you always get glimpses of ... "oh, She's a Luthor" - which keeps me curious as to ... where they'd take it. And I'd be somewhat disappointed if she turned out villain ... but well.
And yea ... what's a DC Character without a bit of ambiguous/questionable morality? (A sidekick! ...)


But yea. What I've encouraged myself to do - or get a hold of - is to avoid my own Mann-Gell problem. Which basically translates into giving you (everyone) the room they need to grow and develop themselves - as for me to bear less of a burden eventually.
Like so - to ... still ... not ignore the previous (which by now I suppose means "yesterday and prior") part - I figure that ... . Well. I mean, for once - the reason I'm still going is because it makes sense. I'm ... in my element. Sort of. Which helps me ... . It's a form of escapism maybe. Yet - I ought to not forget ... but it also doesn't fit in right here. Sorry ...
The thing is ... I figured it should become a bit of a theme. So, at times I'd be annoyed about sharing - and that these days could be because for what I've accomplished - I've already established Righteousness. At least in writing. Though I might (have to) expand on that - what's done is done and I'm supposed to have peace and quiet now. But ... apparently ... not just yet.

So ...

I don't know ...

Now, "my powers" tell me - that ... I have a hard time capturing what I think is going on these days. I get a sense of foward motion - which somewhat eludes my grasp. And that is fine - and based on that I should be able to lean back - and I suppose that's more accurately ... what I'm doing here. So I'll probably further encourage myself to stop writing and posting stuff - except ... when I feel like it. Give or take.

Similar to how I've conducted myself so far - except, I now may hope to have made myself a bit more clear about a certain aspect thereof.

I mean - I might so talk about Socialism. It's by far the topic I'm most comfortable with writing about, that does yet always lead to "questions" that I'm happily ignoring.
And yea, we're not even really talking about Socialism because who the hell even knows what that ought to be? It is however ... "Socialism" ... [thunder crackling] ... which to me is however more so also what I think we should regard to be the default. Also. So, if we want to talk about how civilization has gone insane - talking of how distant it is from socialistic ideals is, to me, one metric of doing so; And when it comes to arguments of what we ought to do or not to do - the onus is on a proposed alternative as to why now something can't be done. To say, it's not on us to demonstrate socialism, but on "them" to demonstrate ... whatever else. And ... so far, all of that is demonstrably stupid.


This then also pertains to our identity as humans. And to say that it is supposed to be capitalist ... is like ... utterly stupid. Because we so would have to have equal opportunity to accumulate capital - which by virtue of geology and how capital and the economy works ... happens to be impossible.

Final Fantasy [

Now - on a different note - I had an idea. Like, similar to how I've been under an impression that eventually took shape in form of "the Experiment" - I'm under the impression that I can basically pull inspiration out of my arse. And one of the major ... "questions" that had triggerd my previous ranting ... pertains to Final Fantasy ... as to be more concrete about ... certain things. Like ... what would I have done differently?
Now, my idea would be that people passed their ideas by me so I could apply some red pen and perhaps a bit more - that is, if we're going to do this - next to ... other things we'd have to first establish. One issue for me however is that I'm ... reluctant to share ideas. That because I'm still paranoid over ... who my audience actually is.

But so I figured - still - I might do it once. To so, for here, explicitly try and pull an inspiration out of my arse - for the Matters of Final Fantasy in particular. Though for now I still want to write about some tangential things there. Anyhow - let my try to pull something first. Hmm ... . Ifrit ... well. OK, maybe that has to ... cook for a bit.

So - that weird connection. Of course I'm worried a bit ... that what I see there is merely a result from some weird, abusive mind link - where people are actually trying to scoop off of me. That might explain ... this strange glitter I see - in that it is reminding me of ... like ... the essence of what I visualize ... though not really configured or arranged in any meaningful way. So, there being access to a vague sense of something - but they lack the cognitive ability to make sense of it.

And maybe that's now where Ifrit comes in. Ifrit, as per FF XVI that is, is a very angry Character. It falls in line with a trend I've been noticing - which I squarely ascribe to my "Nemesis". So, you know that "Boom - ear-ringy-sound" thing that came up in movies at some point? Along the lines of things getting a bit more gritty along a really large trend towards a kind of realism that Marvel movies just barely circumvent? I figured that this was like ... one of their big hoorah's. Something that made for a great sales-pitch that immediately got a lot of people on board.
And now regardless what the philosophical nuance of Clive/Ifrit is - he is at his core still just a very angry Character. Sure, it makes some kind of sense as the strength of will is basically the greater theme behind the plot. Which to me is a sensitive topic ... as has been vaguely lined out so far.
In terms of (neo) Gnosis ... Gnosis isn't as much about Thinking or Wanting - as it is about wholesomeness. And as "detailed" in the Reading Sample (01) - Thinking and Wanting tend to complement each other. But also ... as they do so - Thought feeding into Wanting and Wanting into Thought - Life itself is easily overlooked. So, rather than pondering and letting things - thoughts and wanting alike - settle for a bit, one is then encouraged to "want" to think - and "think" to want. And stuff like that. Which - all in all - is very "un"peaceful.

And that problem or imbalance eventually also manifests/manifested in arts. I suppose on a surface level it is as easy as saying that "modern artists" are encouraged to "apply a filter" onto their work - as to hit a certain tone or ... focus on a certain nuance ... which to me is a way of purposefully abstracting ... something that might want to be something else. Sotospeak.

So, what I pulled didn't make sense to me. SO I tried to pull another - to the same effect. Just ... Ifrit ... being there. Thus being what popped up "within" the ... shell ... suggests to me as much as what I just wrote. That there is "anger" - wanting - that tries to draw on something ... and yet in doing so fails to actually accomplish it.

So, maybe what this is trying to say here - is ... that there's a way to take the story of Clive and give a certain twist. Which, well ... I find is in the game. Sort of. So, Clive eventually had to learn to give up - to find strength beyond his own stubborness.
And like so, I'm a bit confused.

Maybe it's not all that easy to pull Inspiration from my arse. But ... for something as large as Final Fantasy ... it makes sense that some more groundwork would have to first be established.

Then it may also be bad timing.

I mean, the thing with the glitter is - that it also inspires me. I see ... it's like ... "OK, that's what they were going for" - perhaps on a deeper subconscious Level - or at least something that someone somewhere had on mind - that eventually however gets squashed in the conceptualization of the games themes and stuff. I find something similar in Dark Souls ... while it seems that it is however something that's constantly on Miyazaki's mind - is constantly evolved - and something I'm also ... a bit puzzled by. Give or take. Maybe there's two things. But either way ... I couldn't really offer much insight on that one.
And yea ... Elden Ring ... somehow nailed it. I mean ... I ... for my part ... have absolutely nothing to say there.
On a different note was there that game Capcom ... presented ... way back when the PS4 wasn't out yet - which follows a similar tune. The target being effectively a ... Dungeon Crawler of sort ... that captures a very specific feeling.

Though the secret to that ... well. The thing is that the glitter Particles that fill the air of some Final Fantasy games - that is, to my sight - tell a different story. One of falling leaves maybe? Sure, in part. There's also another story left to be told ... which is of Steel.

As it pertains to Square Enix and Final Fantasy - I however happen to think of a Sandstorm. Or Desert. As ... "the place where" ... something is buried. Which now either makes sense to some - or it doesn't. I would happen to think that whatever the deal with this connection is - I mean ... I'm under the impression that this is how that makes sense on their end.


And yea - I think ... "it" is kind of like that. Sand in and of itself is not much - yet a lot of it forms a desert - which in turn ... makes for stuff. A Landscape. Environment. Location. Plot Device. But that isn't the glass that could have been made of it. To ... lean into the metaphor. To say, there's something hidden 'in' the sand. A mysterious ... something.


Now, Elden Ring doesn't capture that. Any of that. But ... it plugs a hole. It ... works a bit like a failsafe. Which lends itself to my paranoia - suggesting that I have to be careful.

And that blends in nicely with the inspiration I pulled. That Ifrit ... is an angry Character. That tries too hard - and perhaps sits there, lurking ... in an attempt to become "complete".


But as the dust settles - I'm reminded of the ... difference ... between what FF XVI is - and what it could have been. And ... it's a large chasm that separates the two. I can barely ... describe. Like, it probably doesn't make any sense. It also seems to be ... riddled with problems that go beyond ... concepts, art and ideas. But here's something ... I think is a shared sentiment of where the Franchise has gone wrong. So, not about the inspiration. The thing is, that people who enjoyed the games for the story - didn't do so as much for the story itself, but the journey that it enabled. I mean, the thing is that a person may find themselves getting sucked into one of many random encounters in some random place - let's say: A desert - and thereby having a bit of a moment. Maybe they just upgraded their gear or something, maybe they went exploring and they just barely manage to come out alive and now they're here - whatever. Nothing that's intrinsically a part of the story - but it yet ties into a sort of greater narrative that manifests within the individual as they're playing the game.

And that now isn't really something that can be controlled - I guess. One might try to facilitate that, just to have customers be like: "Boring!". One possibly response to that would be to spam the player with plot and spectacle and have them chase behind one carrot on the stick after the other; Which sure may facilitate the illusion of ... fun. Which I suppose works well enough for one or the other reason. I mean, though I thought that having a Bossfight be 50% cinematics was a bit weird ... it's not all bad!


So, I just pulled a third one - and I'm still just getting Ifrit. But ... now I also start to see something else. It's not really an idea - it's just more of the same so far. Thereby I certainly have my own biases - and so, my independent ideas. So is there glitter and some form of cognitive arousal that ... it ... triggers. As dust settling in my blood stream/brain.
I try to ignore those for now. And here. I mean, that'd be like work.
But still ... what started to take shape ... I would describe by accusing Final Fantasy to have become colorless and dull. I suppose it never was all that colorful and shiny - but ... being all colorful and shiny isn't really ... the idea either.
So do my personal biases take me closer to what Mystic Quest was like. Not in terms of Gameplay or whatever - but in terms of art direction. At least certain parts of it. Also, contrast. I mean, Final Fantasy Games - as opposed to how Mystic Quest went - like to start off by presenting a clear Zelda esque mission objective. Visit 6 Crystals and do a thing - or whatever - and along those lines the plot happens and things become complicated.

But what the inspiration now tells me - has absolutely nothing to do with that, except ... metaphorically. One of the more compelling things about Square(soft/Enix) games to me always was the scenery. That it'd take one through different places and biomes - though in some sense, that's ... all just the same. So - regardless of how many biomes there might be - it's all just one thing. Biomes. And this is how modern games, in a sense, have become like deserts. There's some sense of gameplay with a bunch of mostly useless features - being chased through different environments. So could one think of "Final Fantasy" - as what the title suggests - and that then turns into a thing all about some high concept, super climactic plot where the stakes eventually rise by the heartbeat - and the more emphasis is put on that, the more is taken away from the rest.

So, it's more like FINAL fantasy - rather than Final Fantasy - or perhaps Final FANTASY even. And like so, I think I can put a reasonable and meaningful closure to this now - by suggesting, that the devs and team and I don't know, first embark on their own individual journey for the various Crystals of the land - as it were - as to find some kind of ... Final Fantasy ... from there. In there? Well ... whatever.

]//Final Fantasy

But yea ... so, at the end of the day ... I don't really know how to handle my situation outside of just ... playing along ... I guess.


And that's that.