Rambling about Baldur's Gate 3 (and Simulation Theory)

I perhaps should write about something else now; Like, considering I'm 'spending' yet another sleepless night on it, it probably should be somehow worth it - given that I know what the subsequent day(s) usually look(s) like.
But then - I've always had issues with this kind of thinking. Just something that doesn't sit well with me. And right now, the sleepless night also strikes me ... as a change from the routine. Something that's actually a bit relaxing - and ... that's worth something.

But then, it's also not that simple. Like, right now - I don't know how to just casually write about Baldur's Gate 3. So ... I might write about a lot of stuff - but BG3, actually.
Like ... simulation theory. I mean, just before going to sleep I saw a video on the matter - and I think what rubs me so wrong about it is, that ... to me ... it's like a logical fallacy. Like, "believing in it" is a sign of lacking or corrupted critical thinking skills. With the odds of probability for living in a simulation given being like a rating on just how far ... gone that person is.


So, the person reacting to the video - in the video I saw - a german ... content creator that goes by the name 'Gronk', dropped a very good comment by highlighting the possibility of selection bias. For instance. Which I think is a very simple framing to the matter. A matter that, on the other hand, might be deceptively ... beautiful. Slick. And all that. And sure - if we wanted to, we could argue that this world is a simulation Run by God in His mind. But that isn't the argument. And putting it this way, in this context, is also ... I'd say ... an insult to the magnitude of this Universe. I mean, the premise there is that God is immense - which means that He scales infinitely. Any finite amount of Galaxies added to the Universe - wouldn't make a difference. He'd just independently observe them in the many nuances of their design - as much as every little nuanced effect any human has had on existence ever.

I mean, that's the first thing. Defenders of the Simulation Theory like to compare their idea to how Videogames work; And then point to Quantum Mechanics as evidence. So, arguing that not everything is actively part of the simulation - that one needs to observe a thing for it to ... like ... become a thing. And sure - "in theory" ... and woosh. Off we go. I suspect, at least, that accepting it as a valid theory is already giving it too much credit. I mean, in technology all you need is proof of concept and you can take things from there. This "theory" however isn't proof of anything.
It's ... similar to the God of the Gaps. Except as opposed to God, the answer tends to be "Supercomputer". And nobody seems to care about what this Supercomputer ought to look like. Or where it comes from. What kind of framework, a.k.a. physical reality it operates in - and how closely that reality resembles a simulation.

I mean, if the answer to "what was before the Big Bang" is simply "Supercomputer" - you're ... doing the thing. You're just kicking the can further down the road. You might say that maybe they didn't have a Big Bang. But ... yea, where did it come from?
And sure - if you built a Simulation that could accurately simulate reality in the way it's supposed to, for us to live in one, you would yet need to talk of its scope. And that's the thing. "In theory" everything is somehow magically infinitely powerful and scales infinitely - because actually it doesn't because it's a simulation. And yet we're then somehow off talking about simulations within simulations within simulations - to the point that some people claim that the odds for us to live in "Base Reality" are like one in a billion. That now means that in Base Reality, folks didn't only create a simulation of the universe - but a computer powerful enough to simulate a billion. Nested within each other for the most part. And then we can argue that we don't know what our framerate is. Maybe what's a second to us is like ... a million years in Base Reality. Sure, but maybe ... all of that is horse manure.

And yea. When we get to the point when concepts such as causality are like 'weird' - and sure, retro-causality is a thing, but whatever, because ... you know what's also a thing? Normal causality! And sure - retro-causality seems weird ... but you know what? It still follows the basic concept of a causal chain of events. Except ... the internal logic of the system allows us to glitch out into a weird state of comprehension.
If you do thing and thing happens - that's causality.
Plain and simple.


But yea. Maybe that's my segue. I'm currently in my second playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 - though it's like ... my fifth Character - and I'm having a very different experience with the game. And that, well, basically in a bad way. But at that point, the matter isn't as simple as 'good and bad'. The thing being, well, that my first Playthrough ... I would describe my experience as almost perfect. And in that regard I'd find myself in that mood of ... maybe wanting to turn back time or erase my memory so I could experience the game as I did during my first playthrough. But I don't, for whatever reason.
I mean ... I understand the sentiment, though it's more of a sad thing - emblematic of the sadness of the modern age.

Also, I'm now playing on Tactician, the harder difficulty - and I have to say that that's probably not the best way to enjoy the game at first. It's like ... a whole different game. I mean, I don't know exactly how the higher difficulty works, but one thing I know is that every enemy get's +2 to hit. Which means that tactician is straight up as if every enemy got a +2 magic weapon to boot. And ... being on Level 6 right now - there's this one encounter with like ... 5 Githyanki soldiers that are on Level 5 and 6 - and it's devastating. But so, ... it's funny. I mean, often in games the narrative will prop up some enemy or race as this super tough and dangerous thing - where I'm usually like: "Pff, this is a videogame! How hard could it be?" - but with the Gith, they really managed to solidify that without just making them impossibly OP.
At least that's my experience.
And except for one encounter with them - I think most of it is optional. Though I suspect that two of them are encounters that will be hard to miss.

As for the segue now, the thing is that on my first playthrough I didn't do the whole Githyanki content. And I realize now that me stanning Lae'Zel and talking of getting her to side against Vlaakith - in context of what transpires in the Creche(?) - might produce a false impression.

I mean, to not spoil anything, I chose to trust the Guardian - and turned around - while by that point I was basically already done with Act 1 and only wanted to tie up some loose ends. Like ... pulling Gale out of that rock. And by done I mean done done. Having killed Nere during one Battle with all the Duergar in Grymforge at once - which was fun - Act 2 was just the next logical step.

So, I had some roleplaying reasons, basically, to turn around. And in my second playthrough I have a bias to look beyond what I had seen at first. But thereby I also don't really care all that much about the story anymore. And so, some things also strike me as a bit weird.
I mean, I had a given image of Lae'Zel. I guess I was sorry to not visit the Creche, but I also figured that by that point we had learned enough to understand that that probably wouldn't have helped. Now, given that I know what the heck she actually talks about, it still could have been worth checking out - ... but, uhm ... what am I rambling about?


So yea ... I guess that ... there are many ways that this could have played out.
And it is now that I play the game for the ... content beside the story ... that the story comes accross as somewhat janky. I mean ... the thing is that the way it is presented makes sense once you listen to what "people" have to say and you then respond to that. If you roughly know what option to select to get to some outcome ... or where to be and why ... that aspect looses much of its flair. So, especially once some new complicated situation pops up - and I don't have the motivation to reason with it - I also don't have much of a connection with the consequences that are produced.
Especially since I've already made the Journey with these Characters, it's weird when due to some different path that's been taken they act somewhat differently. I mean - in my first playthrough my impression was that Lae'Zel and Shadowheart eventually got along. Now in my second playthrough I'm under the impression that it's a bit more complicated than it was before.

Does any of this make sense?


Anyway. I guess the whole issue here ... is a singular complaint I have. So, in the creche there is one encounter. Or ... more. Well, once the entire Creche is turned hostile - you get to a point where you can fast travel out of it. And right next to the waypoint, there's a door - and behind it is an encounter. And I'm here to say that this door might be the worse thing in the entire game. I mean, there's another door a bit further down the corridor - and I had the same issues there. Maybe this is a problem with all doors - but in this instance the doors are in really unfortunate spaces. Like so ... I wanted to cast darkness - I saw the circle on the ground - confirmed ... and woosh ... no darkness. Because somehow I did cast it on the fucking door. The big one. As for the other, the one this is all about, well. So, party member goes down on one side of the door - healer is on the other side of the door - no problem: Healing Word ... but no. Somehow that door acts as a wall and the Character tries to path through the door before casting the spell. Same with arrows. Shooting an arrow through the door ... I can't but they can. Which is fun if they also all have an extra +2 to hit. But then sometimes it works. Maybe it's once they are too close to the door - but ... that door ... it fucking sucks.

And the thing is, to mention it I at least thought I had to mention the entire context round about that location. And yea, I don't know. That location also gave me pause to go and optimize my Character builds. Because those Gith ... . I mean, at some point I tried to see whether Ki powered strikes work while Raging. And trying to test it out - those dang Gith nuked like half of my party before I could even activate Rage. To then move on to Hold Person so I couldn't do shit while in Rage. But sure - just running in without a plan wasn't a good idea, but I also didn't want to setup some elaborate strategy just to test something out real quick.


And sure - all of that has also led to me questioning my life's choices. Which in part involved the question: Why is my Gale a Wild Magic Sorcerer (2)/War Cleric (4)? Clearly I must have done something wrong in my life. I mean, there comes a point in one's life - when you get hit by double and tripple attacks, and you got to wonder: Why am I stuck with having only a single attack?
It's like ... once you find yourself there face-tanking an amount of enemies while casting cantrips and single attacking every turn ... you got to take pause and wonder ... is that all there is?
Or once you find yourself after some standard encounter against 3 enemies, having blown like half of your healer's spell slots - you got to ask yourself if there's a better way.


It's like ... if I need to be Level 12 for my vision to come together, how much of the game is even left for me to play once I get there? But then, again, in real life there is no respec option. Nor a way to save-scum. Which I, by the way, made liberal use of.

I mean - there were moments in the game where I disagreed with the outcome of a given situation. I mean, obviously I chose not to save-scum. To ... deal with the consequences. Except when and where I didn't ... not save-scum. I mean, there were moments where I didn't read the room right - like, there's a conversation and I was getting more and more cynical - until I had to learn that the game doesn't really have that kind of sense of humor. I guess it's too much to ask for a 'serious' and 'cynical' version of every possible dialogue option.

Anyway - more ofthen than not I found myself fast-progressing through the dialogue to get back to the point where I should have saved ... than actually save-scumming. I did however disagree once Vlaakith showed up in Act 3 to recruit Lae'Zel, and I wasn't able to convince her of what my Character had seen. I mean, Lae'Zel and my Character had a thing going on. Sure, "She" did lay "me" and it wasn't really a serious thing and all that - but ... we care for each other.
I also re-did the Cazador fight with Astarion on my team - after I kicked him out because I thought I might have a better chance with him not on the team. Though I didn't want to cheese the fight - there really isn't a reason not to. So - after I beat Cazador with Astarion not on my team - he did kind of get upset at me. And then I wanted to see what happens with him on the team. So, by then I didn't care whether I cheesed the fight or not. (I mean, is it really cheesing if ... it's like ... I mean, he's basically begging for it). So, when doing it without him he's getting angry but he stays. If you do the fight with him and you can't convince him to not do the ritual ... but also don't help him do it ... he runs away. Hmm, no. I wanted to see what Ascended Astarion is like. But ... didn't look into it a lot. And convincing him to not do the ritual was kind of the same ending as the one I accomplished - so I stuck with that ending.
And considering that I at first killed all the Spawn and broke the staff ... it's more wholesome. I mean, the thing is that while I'm playing the game single player, there is no real conversation about things going on. And looking at things from different angles ... that at least is what I kept telling myself ... is like simulating that.

I mean, after I convinced the guards to let me into the city - I chose to stroll around before entering and so found the backdoor to Gortashes power grab ceremony. So, I was being cocky and after I finally managed to get it into Gortashes head that we were going to have a fight right there and then - I had to realize that I was a bit in over my head there. Well, we could say that. Another thing we could say is that after deciding to just ignore him for the time being, and he yet imposes by posing this really awkward invitation, I was too proud to roll with that. Or how to say: The implications of him having won that stand off not only walking out alive but also with the impression of having the upper hand. Which is also why what 'actually' happened is that we sat together - having someone in the team that knows the place really well - and played through different scenario's of busting Gortashes party. We even made sure to minimize casualties. Because ... duh. I mean, good for us that none of them knew the fly spell. I mean, I'm sure some Gith would have made it up there in no time.


But also, obviously the game wasn't really designed like ... you even could kill Gortash before entering the city. And that also kind of ... is like ... descriptive of my relationship with Shadowheart. I mean, having clearly done something that the game somehow doesn't really register. Or the other way around maybe. Both. I mean, at first we obviously did the good thing - in the quest, to not spoil anything - but then I must have missed the Aasimar in the camp and so ... I didn't know that Shadowheart was supposed to get white hair. Then, back in Act 1 when we had our first date of sorts, nothing happened because - it's like ... when two bottoms meet and one has to make the first move, Lae'Zel gets the girl - by which I mean me. But then somehow it seemed that Shadowheart and I were yet somehow in a relationship - sortof - and then in Act 3 we were supposed to meet by the beach to do swimming or something ... but then something happened. I think it were Astarion's brothers that slipped in or Mizora trying to seduce me. Maybe both, because we may have been in this situation more than once. So - basically nothing happened - which might explain that odd look on her face when I kiss her. Or is she secretly Mizorah? Who came with an offering I, to be honest, didn't feel like refusing. And shadowheart - she kind-of seemed to know more than she could have? But was also alright with ... it? As if ... it was obvious ... what ... . It is weird though, if my memory serves me (well, it doesn't) right, that the night we were supposed to go ... err ... swimming, something happened. Or every time? But then again ... I got to wonder what ... the problem might be. :/...
So I guess by the end we were still, after all, just "Room"mates.

That or I stumbled on traces of Asexual representation! Which would certainly deserve extra credit.

And so much also for ... how one doesn't need to be super thursty for getting laid in that game. Whatever that's worth!


And maybe to somehow loop back around - there's some solid foundation for drama here. I mean - just saying that we at first got Wyll to abandon Mizora - whatever the cost - and then, I may assume that to be one possibility, we chose to get laid with her anyway. So, Shadowheart and I. I think there's something there at least. Because ... you know ... the price he had to pay and ... yada yada ... . But seriously - I'm not sure if that was like lazy writing or a stroke of genius at work; Where - Mizora lays out the conditions for releasing Wyll from the Pact. I mean, the situation is like ... Mizora takes something that isn't there - implies it as a given - and tells Wyll that he has to give it up if he wants to be freed from the pact. And the dialog options you're given, they fully lean into that. It's like ... "Totally is it worth being freed from the Pact if [the thing] is the cost?". Though the reality is actually more like: "I can give you [this thing] but then you also have to remain being my [Pet]". And by lazy writing I mean the dialog options that totally suck up to Mizora's framing.


Anyway. I think one thing that we can learn is that this world is a really shitty product for a Simulation. Whoever were in charge of it ought to get fired. Or ... maybe it's the human condition. I mean, either I do or don't have a good reason to be here. My default position were that this life experience of mine isn't really something that I'd pay for having - so that either I'm just an NPC or the Simulation above has like ruined their existence so much that living in a Simulation, no matter how shitty, is like the better option. And there the same would apply. [scratches head]
More realistically speaking - I don't understand why any civilization would sustain such a thing. And every time one of their simulations thought it to be fun to create one of their own, they essentially double the required processing power and memory capacity. Why ... would anyone ... do that? I mean, the reality of what would have to transpire in that base reality ... I mean, all of it really just strikes me as a much dumber version of belief in God.

Anyhow. Maybe I need to apologize for having written this.
Was it worth it?
I don't know. It's 5 a.m. - time to wake up ... and I'm starting to get tired. And I suspect I have an out of whack cycle right now - and I don't really know how to reset it. Just going for an exaustion level hasn't really worked out so far. I might have to go to bed a lot sooner.