Rambling Even more about Baldur's Gate 3 | and myself

Well - I usually get a little bit cautious, internally, when something is like ... good. In a way, there are actually a lot of things that make me feel like an angel of blight or something. Possibly just Selection Bias - but ... I mean, some people seem to have a green thumb; And I seem to have a finger of rot.

A different idea would be that it's more like ... a complex back and forth between my own ambitions and retaliatory/sabotaging ambitions. So, thus creating a kind of negative anticipation feeding into a cycle of doom. And sure enough, the negativity is usually all there to begin with. Where, when it comes to the Gospel it would be revealed that my finger of Rot is more of a ... power of revelation I guess. So, maybe. Which then, in terms of retaliation/sabotage would mean that ... there's appearances, maybe, that can be exploited.

Whatever though, this little bit of insight already contains all the ingredients to say something about the angle of approach. Which is something that people with mental health burdens and/or conditions should be able to relate to. I mean, when my mum sees me - or saw my uncleaned room - or for much of my life - for instance, all she sees are the flaws. And that's not the only source that instilled some ... conditioning in me that would have me think of myself as lazy. And I think somewhere around there, as at all times to different degrees, Astair comes into play. I mean, that would be my guess on how victims of abuse are more likely to be furthermore victims of abuse. In part perhaps because they internalize the abuse to a point where 'normal' isn't really an experience - or anywhere in their selection bias. So they would behave in a way that has then subconsciously be attracted to conditions of abuse. Merely due to familiarity. But there may also be a fear that feeds into the Astair which subconsciously has people see them through that lens. So, if I mess up once, that immediately connects with my image of being a total failure - whereas some well accomplished guy might mess up all the time; Yet it's that one thing where they didn't mess up that they're getting measured by.
So - with all things Astair, if it's a thing, it's - apparently - always an ETP vs NTA thing.
Anyway. So, I also don't know how to talk to my mother. I usually get really upset and defensive. On the other hand I'd say that I've now spent a little over 5 years in therapy to claw my way out of the hole I've been in. The result certainly does not yet amount to something satisfactory to her - and sure, I do mess up; Maybe more than I'd like. But so she thinks that scolding me would somehow fix me. Perhaps because the things that she criticizes me for come easy to her. But it doesn't help. But what does?

I mean - the situation should be rather clear, given the context, that I am - with my mind - stuck in other things. In terms of fixing myself, as per my own thought processes, coming up with a satisfying build for my D&D Character is like ... something I'm actually concerned about.
So - my ... Storm Sorcerer/Mystic Knight build was a bit lackluster. Especially because the progression was extremely painful - and at the end ... it was mostly down to OP items to be like, barely OP myself. So, I've experimented around a bit - and I think I've come to an Optimal build for my tastes - at least within the framework of Baldur's Gate 3.
And as opposed to feeling like the weak link in an otherwise strong team; It's actually OK~ish. ~ish because sure, it's like ... a "main Character" type of thing which, as part of a team could be easily outclassed by more dedicated solutions.

The Full build is: 4 Levels of Draconic Ancestry Sorcerer, 6 Levels of Battle Master and 2 Levels of War Cleric.
I'd go with

Then for the remaining Sorceries: Misty Step and (not important. You could possibly also do without Chromatic Orb. Maybe pick up Shatter or Invisibility. One option is to use the Eversight Ring and pick up Darkness) Quickened Spell - of course.

The Stat Spread goes as

STR 12 DEX 16 CON 14 INT 10 WIS 10 CHA 14
Picking Blue Dragon (Feather Fall) Ancestry.

You could probably also do 2 Sorcerer, 6 Fighter and 4 Warlock to get away with a higher CHA. If you want an early support healer you might want to start with Cleric - possibly also because of those WIS and CHA saving throws. You don't need those CON saves if you don't plan on using concentration spells. You could also go with STR 16 instead of DEX.
With this build however, you'll get a good +3 on your AC - that is +2 on medium armor. With Medium Armor Mastery that'll be +3. But ...
Other than just using a shield, the most recommended weapon is Phalar Aluve, until Act 3 where one might want to go with Duellist's Prerogative instead - with the difference being whether it's a dual-wield or rapier build. Phalar Aluve is great to get some burst in - especially when coupled with Magic Missile and the Psychic Spark Amulet. So on Level 6 you'd want to pick dual wielding so you can also add an off-hand weapon to the mix. So, Caustic Band is the recommended Ring to go with it. Also ... dual wielding Hand-Crossbows, putting the more potent one into the off hand.
Duellist's Prerogative is a late game weapon, but is effectively like dual wielding as it has a bonus action to attack skill on it. So you'd go with Duelling over: Archery, Defence or Two-Weapon Fighting as a Fighting Style.
Another Option is to replace Chromatic Orb for some Concentration Spell to increase DPS using the Strange Conduit Ring. Expeditious Retreat is a strong option. Possibly better than Fog.

So, Archery can be good albeit perhaps too niche if you want to rely mostly on Cantrips for ranged attacks. If Synergy is all you care about, you might want to go for Defence and get Luminous Armor and Holy Lance Helm to top that off with Callous Glow Ring. With Medium Armor Master and Defensive Duelist that'll make 15+3(Dex)+2(DD)+1(Defence) = 21 AC without shield (Base:19). With Shield and Shield that can go up to 26/27 (Defensive Duelist and Shield (spell) don't work together). This is also great with Magic Missile.
"Obviously" - well, War Cleric and Duel Wielding is a bit redundant. So you might rather want to go with Life Cleric - though Divine Favour and Shield of Faith ... are still good~ish options unless you really want some (good~ish) additional healing.

Possibly: Going Sorcerer 3 and Cleric 3 - instead of a Feat. Where, if you want to start with Cleric, I'd recommend going with Sorcerer for Level 2 and then focusing on Fighter. As it stands - you're not going to get a whole lot out of those 2 sorcerer points anyway - and getting the Fighter Levels online is probably more important than a third spell. You can, if need be, substitute Expeditious Retreat with Shield of Faith, or Chromatic Orb with Guiding Bolt (although ... with 10 WIS you're not going to really get much out of it.)
So, there are a lot of options - and to sum them up, I guess we can destinguish between:

I guess one could also go Paladin to get some smiting done. At any rate, the recommended Deity is Bahamut, if the option arises.
I mean, as for judgments - well, the thing is that I'm satisfied. I'm not sure if there's much room for improvement. On another run I've been experimenting with a Sorcerer/Warlock/Ranger build - which is overall better at Lockpicking and will eventually get access to triple attack while also taking advantage of Warlock Spell Slots. The two sorcerer Levels don't really add much other than Magic Missile - and so maybe a Level of Bard would also do.
So, there obviously you'd pick whatever Level 1 Sorcerer boons suit you; And from there try to figure out how to Level the rest. Maybe Bard for Heal and Support, then Warlock 3 because Eldritch Blast and Misty Step - and then straight to Ranger 5 - so you'll be Level 10 by the time the extra attack comes in. Alternatively Ranger already has heal - so Warlock 1 for shits and giggles and then Ranger 5 (Hunter). It's very lackluster and I don't think very fun early on. So just ... going for Warlock 3 ASAP is still the best option here. So then you're probably also wanting to get to Warlock 5 - leaving the 5 Ranger Levels for last. And by that time you probably won't need the DEX advantages anymore, so you're in for the extra damage from Colossus Slayer. Which is like a built-in superiority die - to be fair. It might make for a great alternative to the Fighter "dip" - as the 4 Superiority Die we get there can deplete rather quickly.

Anyway, ... Cantrips. This does depend a bit on what you want/need. Light, Mage Hand and Minor Illusion are always good to have - and to round it off I'd impose Shocking Grasp as a Must have. When going for Ranged Cantrips, you're going to sacrifice one or more of the above. Fire Bolt does the most damage (note: The 'racial' Fire Bolt does use INT for attack rolls) on an attack roll (1-3d10) versus Poison Spray (1-3d12) that triggers a CON save. Ray of Frost is a great alternative to either because there isn't that much (if anything) that is immune to ice damage and Ray of Frost also reduces the target's movement speed. There's also a case to be made for Acid Splash (DEX save). These (Poison Spray and Acid Splash) are I'd say great if you also have access to Hex ... so you can Hex their save throw against it. So, arguably there's use for picking 'Magic Initiate: Sorcerer', or forego one (or two) Cleric Levels for a Warlock dip. Having Hex is neat as it combos with the Diadem of Arcane Synergy.
The issue with dipping into Warlock is that doing so only gives you Level 1 spell slots - where Sorcerer and Cleric spell slots combine. Going Sorc/Fighter/Cleric will give you the equivalent of a Level 12 Half-Caster, so ... a Level 6 full-caster.
Now, taking Fighter to 6 is to me a no-brainer as that alone contains two Feats already. And each "Subclass" relies on at least one - effectively offering a choice between Savage Attacker, Fancy (like: Performer for an additional point in CHA and Instrument Proficiency) or an ASI. Going for Sorcerer+Cleric 5 is ... huge ... because that'll give 2 Level 3 Spell Slots on top of the Level 1 and 2 slots. So, exchanging one Level 3 Slot for 2 Level 1 Warlock Slots is less painfull than exchanging two Level 3 Slots for 2 Level 1 Slots. You may even opt to go Sorcerer 5 to get access to Haste ... over Warlock. The main reason we care about Level 3 slots is to possibly upcast Magic Missile.
So ... yea. Actually ... I'd argue it's at first down to whether you have use for the Channel Divinity ability. If not, the next consideration is if you want to forego a Feat for whatever else you have on mind. Probably the Level 3 Cleric abilities (Level 2 Spells (Aid, Lesser Restauration) or Domain Spells (Magic Weapon)). That is if you don't care about Misty Step at all. Then you might go for the third feat via Cleric. Although ... I'd perhaps the Sorcerer Cantrips are more valuable.
So, at best we get a Level 1 Warlock dip - which ... doesn't hurt the Build much. You definitely get a lot more out of the Warlock dip than whatever you get from Cleric 2. Like, 2 regenerative Spell Slots for Shield and access to Hex over a once per Long Rest ability. So, at the end of the day, it's either Sorcerer 3/Cleric 3 instead of a Feat or Sorcerer 4/Cleric 1/Warlock 1 plus Feat. There might be a case to be made for the Trickery Cleric's Channel Divinity ability (though that's a Concentration Spell).

Note: SOME Cleric 1s also provide Heavy Armor Proficiency - while Multiclassing into Fighter does not.
For the second Level 2 spell, there are options. Shatter, See Invisibility, Enhance Ability and Mirror Image are great - and you might also replace Expeditious Retreat with Blur. Mirror Image is awesome because it doesn't use concentration. So, it's a somewhat free +3 to AC. The rest ... not so juicy; And you might then also go with Invisibility or Knock for enhanced Utility. See Invisibility Isn't perfect though. Shatter ... contends with Ice Knife on the AoE side of things ... and going for either at this point is worth considering Careful Spell over Distant Spell. Ice Knife might overall be better as it double dips into the damage pool as both an attack roll and a DEX save, on Level 3 it possibly deals more damage than shatter and it can be cast as a Level 1 spell. A case for Shatter it's unique use-case against Creatures made of inorganic material.
In Summary, for Spells, given that the build has gotten a bit more fleshed out in the process of writing this, the thing is that as soon as you have the Strange Conduit Ring you can dip into Warlock for Hex and/or Expeditious Retreat. Preferably Hex for that Diadem of Arcane Synergy Bonus.
So, with Shield and Magic Missile out of the way, the thing is this: This build isn't designed with Spell Attack Rolls or Save Throws on Mind. So, overall a rule of thumb would be to prioritize Utility over Attacks. With Hex however, there's a good reason to pick AoE spells. So, picking Ice Knife over Chromatic Orb is definitely the better choice. Expeditious Retreat also works - as the utility of either is somewhat progress dependent. And you can still swap Expeditious Retreat once you got Warlock 1. You can also get it as a Warlock Spell - so, it's ... whatever. At Sorcerer 3 we take Misty Step ... and possibly switch Expeditious Retreat for Ice Knife. Well, if you go Tempest Cleric ... yea, that's another case for going Cleric 2 and picking Shatter. But then, considering you wanna go with Warlock, ... I'd say that's the Most Min-Maxed Caster route to take. That'll be 3 Sorcerer Levels (Shield, Magic Missile, Ice Knife, Misty Step, Shatter (replace Ice Knife)) - 2 into Cleric and 1 Warlock (Hex and [whatever]). Alternatively you'd probably want to keep Ice Knife - and can choose one more from the Sorcerer Spell List (or either point (Level 3 or 4) switching in Ice Knife if you went for Expeditious Retreat. Darkness can wait because the Eversight Ring is an Act 2 item).

There are three Rings that matter: Callous Glow Ring, Strange Conduit Ring and the Eversight Ring - next to Caustic Band. The question becomes if you want the Eversight Ring/Darkness combo to be an option - if so, the Callous Glow Ring would be the second choice. So, at that point it's clear ... to take Darkness. In simple: We can get 3 Level 2 Spells - if we go Sorcerer 4 - one being Misty Step. Then we're left to choose between Darkness, Blur/Mirror Image and Ice Knife/Shatter. As for the Warlock Spell People seem to really Love Armour of Agathys - I somehow never use it. Expeditious Retreat seems to be a great, but you'd mostly want to use Hex anyway. For me it were between Arms of Hadar or Hellish Rebuke. Hellish Rebuke improves the overall Action Economy, but also is a potential drain on our Resources. So, effectively ... we don't have much use for this. So I'd go with Arms of Hadar ... because some AoE is really neat sometimes.
And Expeditious Retreat ... is somewhat trivialized by Misty Step. In terms of utility. So yea, Arms of Hadar it is.

And that's that

Now, I'd argue that people can overall get more out of this than had I cleaned my room instead. Right now at least. And in general - which isn't to say that I'm not cleaning my room. It's that I just tend to make the strategic/tactical choice not to. It's like an option or skill or feat. Not as a choice to be lazy, but as a matter of my cognitive abilities.
Conversely ... keeping such a small place filled with so much stuff tidy ... that's I'd say a skill all on its own; And arguably one that is difficult to maintain next to ... let's call it 'cognitive hyperfunctionality'. The thing is that I tend to work with stuff - and without a good spot to discard things to ... the place gets stacked, easily. At that point it's a battle against the corruption, we might say - as once spots get crowded, that is overall less space to discard things to. And what comes to bear here, in my opinion, is action economy. So, if I have to go to another floor to sort things away ... that's usually too much. If I have to play Kitchen Tetris alongside and while doing the dishes ... I rather use a plate more than just once.
The issue here is not that I can't ... put in some extra effort. It's rather that I don't. It's somewhat like this: The smaller the place is - the more important an efficient storage system is required. That however requires maintenance, which in turn messes with my cognitive hyperfunctionality.

Therefore I'm hopeful that I may soon move into my new Apartment. Because, including the storage rooms in the cellar, I easily have like 3 times as much space as I have now. Sure, I think that induced demand also applies to space, but ... as opposed to traffic there's only 'so much' a person can need. And yea ... my Kitchen alone is like ... about 2 thirds of my living space right now. So, it is to say that I'm curious ... whether or not this theory ... is correct.

On the flipside ... well. I'm really digging BG3. A few days ago I was thinking of something along the lines of how it's funny that it's not only the New Elden Ring, but also like Elden Ring on steroids. In terms of ... its impact. I mean, Elden Ring is somewhat niche 'because it's difficult'. BG3 ... well, may be a different kind of difficult. Speaking of Bears. But well ... I mean, it's funny. In a way I don't really care to write about.
I mean - what's happening outside of BG3 right now? Starfield and Pronouns? A new wave of Anti-Woke Anti-SJWism ... bad decisions that we all know are just made regardless of what who has to say ... and yea, sure: War and Climate Change - which, ironically, is strongly if not intimately intertwined with the previously mentioned stuff. And what can I say?

I mean - whatever is going on in Israel right now ... to me ... is a little sus. I mean, what in the 6 green hells did make Hamas think that it was a great idea to do what they did? The only thing it did, was to bolster the resolve and support of the Fascistic Regime they allegedly ... uh ... hate? Fight against? So, "I question the Logic of that Decision". I mean, it makes sense if we think that some shadow entity is really only trying to get people invested in hate. Because ... that's what happens. It didn't occur to me until I saw some images ... subsequent to which I also had enough of the whole news cycle we're in right now. Like, yea, saying "Chill Out Please" is going to fix it - at least ... coming from me in the situation I'm in. Which also bothers me greately. I would think that if people had some incentives and stuff to listen to me - I might actually be able to turn things for the better. But at this point ... I'm just sick and tired of the circumstances. And people being upset over me playing BG3 or stuff ... doesn't really change a damn thing either. For, rather than being concerned of me - they should be concerned about ... well ... themselves? The world? Salvation?

If we had a more positive outlook I might actually have better things to do ... than playing BG3. But as it stands I've started several playthroughs, optimizing my "speedrun" to the Adamantine Forge (which isn't really optimal. It's like ... 10 hours - to Adamantine Armor and Level 5) So, getting Adamantine Gear by Level 4, and then doing the Gnolls; Abusing Lump(?the Ogres) at first to complete the Shadow Druid quest early - and then ... uhm ... to unlock the Zhentarim hideout. I'd also sneak into the Creche, but that'll doom the Tieflings - I've checked. But I also feel like the Game comes to a bit of a halt here. But maybe that's just the Astair from everyone really enjoying Act 1 as also somehow shaped by the Early Access stage - with not all that much to look forward to in and after Act 2. Well, other than reaching Level 12; But the problem is that there isn't really ... a challenge for when you're there. So, grinding out all the optimal gear is somewhat overkill for what's left to do. And yet I understand that I haven't seen all of it just yet. But I also don't really have the motivation to. Which is a good thing. Some people may be completionists, I'm ... not so much. And if I can exhaust my curiosity with a lot left to do ... that's ... I'd say just more fun for everyone.

But uhm, yea ... whatever.
I've been on Sick Leave this week as my Arm has gotten me somewhat concerned. Apparently it's all fine. I suppose what my Nerves tell me is going on versus what's actually going on ... isn't the same thing.
Anyway. Next Week actual school starts ... so, I'm curious.