Distinctions

Hmm ... so ... it's been pretty much a month and I have to wonder if anything happened. This world in which I was eager to take note of whatever thought I'd have the time for ~ give or take ~ is all so distant now. And I can't help but wonder how the beliefs - or assumptions - I'd have to hold in order to do all that, stack up ... like, in reality.
To say, yea - I'm feeling a bit crazy coming back into this; And with it into the beliefs and assumptions I ... must have held ... . Like, why am I writing? Whom am I expecting to read this? I mean ... on the one hand side this ... is an update. Or ... could be; Unless I decide that it's trivial - though, on the other I'd have to probably convince myself of things I couldn't convince myself of, to really let go of where my mind is taken.

It's like ... coming back into an old life; Right now. I've been watching some Star Trek recently. On and off ... sometimes for ambience ... the OS, TNG and Voyager ... and in the episode I just watched, Voyager was torn into different time-frames; And something about that resonates with me right now. And yea, I feel like last I "sat" in here ... things have been left in an orderly fashion.


Anyway - so, I've come to a halt. Since I don't do Project Management I don't really have a to-do list or anything that'd come with that; And so I also don't have a real reference for what different stages of development I'd have to consider. But it feels like I got to the end of one. And for the most part, the story is still the same. But, I'd say - the "ought to be a sphere" is slowly starting to take a round shape.
I mean, since last I wrote - I had to think and ... didn't change all that much and yet started over. Well, sort of. The matter between temporary solutions and what's supposed to be there is an ongoing struggle. On the other hand - keeping things simple proved to be working just fine; But the thing I was last working on really shows that ... keeping things simple isn't going to do there. At least not within the current context. And getting an improved context ... for that ... requires some more extensive work that I've now set my sights on. In a way that would also be the first thing I'd really get into some kind of "final" order, although I've practically already be forewarned that ... well; I mean, some of the more ... "loadbearing" pieces aren't quite there yet; So ... but for any changes there to be reasonable some other things have to be improved first ... . I mean, that's ... "one of those things". If the entire project is in a state of disarray due to a degree of uncertainty inherited from temporary solutions; Which in a sense also make up the bulk of it all, it would seem, it makes more sense to get certain pieces into a state of finality; First; Rather than maintaining the uncertainty. That is, given that finality can be accomplished. So, it's more to the point to get things towards a state of finality - to take things a certain distance; To then adjust the rest to the distance taken - such that taking things to a higher degree of finality becomes an easy task.
And ... it is this next step where things ought to become more consolidated. At least do I think that I can't make much progress without working out some editing and management tools. So, yea. So far nothing has been done to manipulate or create or such ... anything. It's basically just the framework. And a rudimentary one at that. Although ... in the good way. It's not like I'm curious to "get it there" ... "where" ... though still, making it do the things it should do isn't really simple. There sure are things I could make it do, with some effort, but that wouldn't really ... help.

So far it's been a fascinating experience. And I suppose I'm somewhat daunted thinking of the one or the other thing I wanted to ... have, as part of the thing, eventually - given how working on the things I've worked on the last few month has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride.
But I think we've made room ... for ... at least some of it or ... some version of it - which is, weird I think. Space. In the abstract. I mean - space quite actually doesn't exist "in code". If I have some file that gets too long and cluttered - I can just ... move parts of it to a new file. But maintaining tidy code is so much easier than maintaining chaotic code. There sure would be a way to manage code in a way that's bent on driving people that ought to work on it insane. So yea ...
... I don't know ... . Some ... fascinating ideas have emerged or taken shape - but they aren't really ... working yet. And in as far as how they'll work out is going to determine what the thing will be capable of - outside of basic stuff - I'm also still a bit anxious about the all of it.


Which reminds me ... there's something(.txt) that I wanted to share for some time now. I ... barely understand what that is anymore - it's been quite a while. It's mostly about ... being inclusive I suppose.


Which is actually a neat segue into what's actually on my mind.
I mean, as I've started to slow down, I also caught up on some things I might want to write about. And that, right now, is, for the most part I assume, relatively unbiased. So, I'm mostly not like ... in the loop of what's like going on in the YouTubes - I occasionally read of a thing or another on Reddit, but that's pretty much it. What little time I spend on YouTube I barely spend on anything political.
And yet the thing that stuck on my mind to eventually write about is Queerness. Or Transness ... I assume. Whether directly or not ... this or the other is somehow the hot-button topic; And it'll be that until the issues get resolved. Eventually they'll have to be resolved - and in some sense I might rely on that; Along the lines of "it'll fix itself", give or take.

And so, I also wouldn't wanna write about it unless neccessary - but that's basically just me politicking with my own mind I assume.


But sure. Given the chaos we have to manage, there really isn't any one thing that would help us - other than THE one thing - and from there things will just have to work out somehow. So-to-speak. I mean ... to trust in God, to trust in life, to trust in one another - to trust in the process or how to call it - is about learning to also live with certain degrees of uncertainty. So, to start minding your own business - and leave others to theirs - without always ... having things like ... concretely laid out before you.

I mean, in as far as I had to learn the benefits of the ways of the "hard thinkers" - versus the pitfalls of being the way I am - this I'd say is one of those things where the thing is reversed. Which of course only works if the cosmos plays along, but well ... that it plays along with me is in the dark times THE ONE argument that I have. And that one's safe.


And yea, the concept of just existing is a bit of a meme among us trans-gendered individuals. Other queer people can also relate for sure - and you would think that in an age where there are more trans people than ever, the stuff we think, feel, believe in, etc. - would be more prevalent ... like ... in media. But then you look at what "the media" is and ... we all remember that we're actually still stuck in reality.

And yea, what is it? "We though Facebook was bad; But now ... ".

Anyway, it's a very user-driven thing. That is, there really isn't anyone to like ... acknowledge what is right. I mean, I sure think it's out there. And the probelm with understanding what is right is a matter of education. Indubitably. A lot of things can be made sound right on paper - but eventually there's centuries of research to account for. So the matter of whether the earth is flat or not.
We would then - coming together as individuals have to engage in discourse, cancel out or wrongs and combine our rights. And that sure is happening here and there - but, it seems like we're missing some higher instance to point that out. Which also applies to "the science" it would seem. Strangely enough.

Which, I must think, is first and foremost due to forces of ignorance. Willful ignorance or just moronic ignorance. I'd bet on the former, if I were a betting woman.


Maybe that's a toxic attitude, but that only adds to the story with the end of it remaining pretty much the same.


Like, seriously. I mean, I've heard that ... we shouldn't call "these people" Fascists or Nazis or Dumb or any of that because apparently that only energizes them even more to go down their stupid paths - at least that's an argument or sentiment that some hold. But there comes a point, like when the right thing is so utterly clear that it rivals if not surpasses the sun in the sky - where I feel like I'd be hurting myself if I were to entertain people's ignorance.

But - that's a different story. I mean ... let's just say that there's some reasoable argument that we haven't considered before, that ... granted ... has nothing to do with anything but we still haven't considered it ... so, yea, whatever.


Its toxic for some reason. Whatever. And implying as much also, in effect, implies a person - or more - that are being toxic. And it would seem as though - there's nothing we can do about it. Like, we're not supposed to think it's OK to make fun of punching Nazis - regardless of how difficult it is to suppress the urge.

So, I like to think that we live in a world where ... being bad has been made easy. Being good comes with all those rules that allegedly hold us back ... all those restraints that would seem to give evil an edge - and questions as simple as "what's good for you" can easily turn into a slippery slope.
It's almost as if ... everything is a slippery slope these days ... and I find it difficult to navigate that space.

Good for us that we don't have to. Explicitly.


It's like a giant smokescreen. Covering an army of Strawmen. I mean, I recently tuned into a video - boasting some woman that finally figured it out, to prove why ... men can't be women or something to that extent ... and in those intro sneak peeks that some like to do the bottom line would seem to have been that ... wait for it: Only men can identify as trans women.

TO get there she however also had to make that claim that women can't want to be women. Which is I think ... indicative of how sophisticated a thinker that person is. Maybe there's some internalized misogyny going on, but I wouldn't go that far.

But ... it has to me become an indisputable fact, that people have a hard time understanding "the trans issue". Maybe because it really isn't much of an issue, outside of the issue that's artificially vented into the public; Well, charging people with all those preconceived ideas of trans people that then get in the way of any real life contact.
Which is like ... texbook prejudice.
So, it's like ... 9 times out of 10 (I'm pulling that number out of my behind) ... when "people" "discuss" this issue - without someone who knows the truth - it's the same old nonsense one can expect to hear. Occasionally there's a good point hidden in there, but it wouldn't seem like anyone understands how or why that is a good point; Like, "after the fact".

I mean, the thing is that there a lot of things - I would assume - that are good on paper; But when implying knowledge/know-how and other matters of education; Mixed with a dash of wisdom and/or intelligence; They turn out to be nonsensical. It's like ... nuking a hurricane let's say.

And often it seems that the problem is with people that have struggles with matters of intelligence and education. But when I imply that those people have been like ... left behind ... I'm yet again saying that "these Nazis are Stupid". Which is what it is. And sure - I suppose the Nazis back in the day also for some time didn't know that they were Nazis! Or what we'd then come to call Nazis.
I mean, to lay it out a bit more clearly: If we say Nazi - there's a range of things we can imply. Which is perhaps the best argument for not using that word too much; Other than when it really really fits. "GO cry in a corner". Whatever.
Some people only look at the authoritarian/socialist angle - so, education becomes indoctrination and "fun" like that - and others look more on the fascism/anti-human angle of it. And then the right wingers turn it into a game of who can best play the victim; Which is ironic; And therefore - basically - once again - a dead end(ed argument).

To me, if you use exaggerated rhetoric to support political momentum that recognizes education as indoctrination - you're a fascist. You might not agree - but my worldview doesn't require you to. It doesn't change what you support - and the fact that you support it.
Whether you do so with good intentions doesn't matter. You're misinformed then - and in as far as our attempts to inform you are met with scorn, we don't know how to help you. But to maybe "Sieg Heil" you when we next see you.


That gender is wound up in this debate does however complicate things a little. Like how Education is the key to understanding our wrongs - the lack of it is a potential danger. So we might want to imply the amount of education that hasn't been unearthed yet - that might tell us in the future why what we today think is right is bad actually.
Of course one cannot walk through life like that - which is one more way in which Divine Wisdom is rather handy - well, because understanding the reasoning behind the BIG reasons is ... one of the better ways of getting the BIG things right.

And yes - one doesn't neccessarily need God or Jesus for that. That is certainly a defensible point that is also a perspective shared by me. It is to some extent the whole point behind the Universe we live in being 'atheistic'. Because, matters of how we might peacefully co-exist or might make the best out of a finite and absolute reality - is in and of itself an atheistic question. Whether God would want to patron over it or not. And He sure does - I'm rather certain - to the point where if it ever became a theistic matter, it would imply that God is taking steps to alter the intrinsic reality of that problem.
I mean, if we said that the intrinsic reality of the problem is that people are bad - we didn't understand the postulate.
There is a solution, an ideal let's say - a hypothetical best case; And we could either strive to realize it or not. If God wanted, He could impose His own "best case" - such that we would have to decide between this or that one. And I'm sure you can bend some Bible Verses into implying as much. But we can also return that favor.

And nonetheless - there ought to be some overlap. Further ... taking the atheistic solution and implying God; Should - in the best case - also work out just fine. Because God at that point merely acts or represents a stranger entity - like Q - where the issue boils down into our ability to find peace or an understanding with that higher entity. Sure, perhaps depending on how that entity acts themselves - but, let's not get caught up in fiction right now.
So, once again, a 'best case' ... would allow the atheistic solution to also be pro-theistic; "Should there be a God". That is certainly an angle from which we can look at the contents of the Bible - where skimming past the irrelevant stuff, God's personal position certainly is that He wans to be reconized; For who He is; With perhaps the caveat of His preferred mode of engaging with us.
So ... is that. I mean, coming from a theistic angle - there's the Gnostic Dilemma and ... that also pretty much settles it. Already. What enlightenment has to offer is one thing. Maybe THE thing, but for sake of argument ... it's ... "beside the point".


So, I guess in terms of caution ... we are to be weary ... or 'you' (atheists) are to be weary (and pseudo/para believers too) of your sensitivities. For, that is the one thing that has throughout history been a huge factor to conflict and disarray.


Where yea, if need be, I were willing to concede. Conceding a matter on trans-sexuality; Because for straight cis people who want to procreate the case is simply that trans people aren't "it". "It" being what they imply of the other sex. And to that end I don't think it helps if I were to insist on being "it". Because I'm not. I am "it" - in a more esoteric sense. But that's not really what matters there. So, I guess we transes have to be OK with being othered somehow. Having it recognized and acknowledged may help more than it harms also - has to - as for once it helps underlining the disclaimer we ought to put before any life-altering choices that may be made. It may help alleviate impostor syndrome - though the whole matter with which bathroom we might use or have to use and issues of invading women's spaces ... you know, all that unenlightened nonsense ... yea, uhm - different story.
And I guess it also helps against the "Attack Helicopter" joke. I mean, it yields its whole power from that "it" thing. Where no matter how much we want to be "it" - we can ever only approximate "it". That doesn't mean that what motivates us to "become" trans is false - it only means that medicine hasn't quite advanced to that point where we could truly become "it" yet.

And I think it also moves one thing into perspective: Being trans comes with the effort we make to "fit in". Into ourselves. Some people might read this now as us trying to convince ourselves of some delusion or whatever - so, let it be told that to me that effort is for once about the matter of unlearning things. And also dealing with the "not it" elements. Voice, Semen - things that our bodies can't naturally produce. There's also an amount of 'overcoming' - and also, in the end it isn't that much of an 'effort' as it is ... 'endurance'.
Or how to phrase it.
The point is we get in contact with our supressed side, try to unearth it and give it the light of day. Thus we "become" trans. And if you feel a woman inside but don't "become" trans - you 'ARE NOT' trans. Not yet at least.

That doesn't mean however that we don't have preferred pronouns - as it does very much mean that we want to be "it". There is so much we can do to get there, there is so much we cannot yet hope to achieve (but we're still happier than before) - which is to say: Trans Men are Men, Trans Women are Women - except maybe not in the way you/some might like it. We however are who we are - and that is what concerns us for the sake of our own wellbeing. And what we ask is some respect for that. And I'm not sure if you can expect anything in return but an overall more healthy society. I mean, it's not even all that much or special. We might almost forget that whole point - though it certainly still stands - where the whole issue from our point of view is merely ... a matter of biology.


And be careful not to impose gender roles on others. You might just find yourself in an afterlife where you have to be (painfully aware of being) born into what you least want to be born into.
Which is, I guess, a weird way to open this argument - but what would you think makes the difference between a man and a woman ... in heaven? So, if we were allowed to make choises pertaining to our physique that aren't anyone else's business. You might find yourself to be phobic of a person that may have once upon a time maybe lived a while as [a man], even if they didn't like it - although their body then were as legit as it could be. How about their being? Their soul? Their ... mannerisms and sensibilities? Well, that's what we'd hope that people cared more about - or, well, I do. But ... that's right now neither here nor there.

I mean, "corruption" is not overall a human concept, but ... the Bible sure doesn't speak of it in the same way we do. Or some of us. And those sure like to imply that evil and corruption are practically the same. The corruption that the Bible speaks of does however usually come in form of people - not as much in form of properties of an individual. So, that passage in romans that the Trans- and Homophobes like to quote makes for a great example. You may read it as about corrupt people or corrupt properties. One makes more sense than the other.
One might remark that it wouldn't go as far as to also speak of the people as corrupt if all it cared about were the properties. I mean, did they turn away from God and then also do those things; Or did they do those things and therefore turned away from God?

Anyhow. One Symbol of the Divine happes to be fire. Something that is used for a variety of things; One of them being the burning of what is corrupt. Or in a similar sense, the purification of metals. And so the question is for how that translates into matters of individual corruption? I mean, we are to believe in redemption - so obviously purification is possible. But between a transphobe and a trans person in heaven; That isn't trans anymore but cis because they may live their preferred gender that way - how would it go?
If say God were to "burn" the woman out of me because I've been "tainted" by having been born male - wouldn't you, provided you're a male, not have to become my bitch because God ought to burn the man out of you because that's your preferred Gender and therefore 'not real'?


Am I making sense here?


Anyway ... it's getting late. I hope this wasn't a bad experience for you; Peace and Good Night!

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/u/DaTotallyEclipse