Transphobes cannot be trusted

So ... no more weed, the magic has left. Or ... the cognitive suppression field, some might say. It's ... weird. I mean, thinking of what I now did the last two weeks - I first of all have to say that legal weed does kick differently. Not different per se, but ... instead of guilty conscience there's ... joy. It's ... cool. Like ... Daniel's cooler brother.

There isn't too much that's happened in terms of ... personal maintenance, but also not nothing. I mean, for once I didn't have to travel accross Stuttgart to get back home - after getting high - so, I took some time just laying on the ground and ... trying to relax while "meditating my body". I'm not sure if there's any good to this kind of stuff, but I suppose that it is THE kind of stuff that would eventually give birth to things such as Yoga or Qi-Gong. Like, when it comes to Tai-Chi I have kind of developed my own "Light Version", though 'developed' may be an overstatement as I simply do Tai-Chi esque motions to maybe focus, resolve some "Tensions" or what have you. Am I a more balanced person for it? Who knows?

After all, I felt really great although - technically I wasn't doing all that great. I tend to not eat all that much when I'm high; And I'm not sure why that is. But I suppose the feeling of cognitive blockage while digesting does subconsciously weave into it.
Then, I also didn't really do nearly as much in my household as I thought to do. So, all of that ... "outside" stuff.
On the other side, a lot happened though. I guess a part of it is that I really had enough. Maybe even just the right amount. So, to get in, do all sorts of stuff that I wanted to do, and then ease out with something for my clarity. And that would be ... 5 gramms of weed. 19/1 seems just fine (THC/CBD in %).

The X4.2 update

It seems appropriate to me now, to tie my version numbering to whenever I get high. It seems to be a really good way of doing things. To be sober - get the thing to some conclusion, to where I'd increment the number and move on to something else; And then get high to just re-arrange everything. OK, maybe not ... that, exactly, but ... . Someone eventually has to do the job to come in and tell me how uninspired this whole mess is as to show me how it's done. Technically this update took me back a few steps; And still I don't know how I can reduce the cognitive tax that this system asks for; And that was ultimately also where things slowed down.
I mean, I tend to get frustrated when I set out to do something and then just end up staring at the code for hours; So that by the end of the day I barely changed anything. But alas, sometimes the devil is in the detail; And if that's what it takes to really ... get a smooth finish ... it has to be.
So, instead of working on the Universe/Planet side of things I moved on the Sandbox environment because that corresponded more to what I was working on. And from there I eventually moved on to the "parent project" because setting a few things up from scratch seemed to be the best way to "de-spaghettify" what I had by then. And now I'm stuck on a problem that's ... technically very simple to solve, a part I had previously just 'done' because it was simple enough, but this time I paid more attention on what I need to do it right and ... that's a little bit of a puzzle for now. Or ... just plain and simple labour to get the various pieces to where they need to be.

All that just came along with the ... 'simple' update - which would have been to just leave it ... at those new additions and work with the rest as present. It's not like structurally a whole lot has changed, although ... some things got merged, others got expanded; Because ... hmm, how to ... put it?

So, X4.1 - wasn't me working while high; But me working from paper. I so kindof took record of all the important pieces and how they would or should work together - and at some point I kind of did my own thing because of issues my paper designs didn't consider. The big mystery, we might say, was to figure out what pieces had to work in which way to work together with other pieces and such. At first nothing too difficult, and mostly things just would 'sit' in my mind. However, I eventually got to an end ... to say ... 'done' - with only one major yet incredibly simple step left to do. Sortof.
It's all a matter of perspective. And after getting high, well, I first of all tried to work with what I had and things went just fine. But that's also where things made a little bit more sense.
So, I would start by introducing a new concept that would then start to look like this one thing I needed - and had somehow worked into some other thing because it didn't seem like it was this big of a deal - and that's like ... a fundamental problem.
For once there's the matter of having a thing for a task 'somewhere'; So, when introducing another thing that is also capable of it but not doing it because I already have something that does it - things get what I would call "wonky". And then I'd realize that I can combine the two, but that also changes things. Eventually entire structures get removed and rewritten that way; And what I noticed this time around more clearly is that things eventually start to "pop". I suppose ... when done in a certain though probably that's too vague way.
Right now for instance, the puzzle I ended up with is ... in the right place. Definitely. It's like ... the code I've written culminated in this one final piece - and when built properly it pulls a bunch of stuff together in just the right way for it to work as intended. Without ... much of a hastle or weird mental gymnastics to understand what even and where and how.

Though, if it were that simple I wouldn't be puzzled over it. I must assume that while I know pretty well what to work on - there's a little bit more to it, at least. Which now makes me wonder if I'm 'REALLY' out of weed. I mean, I'm not 'done' with it if that were to imply that I also did the scrap hunting already.

But so - I'm now also coming to the point where I have to make heads and tails of where and when what data comes into the system how. That would be a final thing - after doing some preliminary work - for this whole thing to ... 'work'.
Hmm, yea. I was there before ... 'almost done' - but something told me that I'd then be stuck with it. This step would be the crucial one, as ... it would be rather challenging to re-arrange everything then.

Anyway ... I'm still optimistic for 'end of the year' - but with all the stuff I yet have to do on mind, that doesn't really pertain to much of a reasonable goal other than ... some proof of concept stuck between halfway done systems. Or, not just a proof of concept, but ... I guess ... proof of concept nonetheless.

and stuff

So, I mostly did that. I also built a new Gunpla - maybe the simplest I've built yet but also the one I was satisfied with the most so far. Well, that might be because I took the time to fully paint it.

And that's vaguely it.


But ... as for the message the day:


It's obvious and yet it somehow has to be stressed as this deeply profound insight concerning the culture we live in.
I mean ... so, Trans-people in sports. "What's your opinion?" - is a really mean question to ask when the 'mainstream' is all about whether or not Trans people should be allowed to do sports; Adjacent to what bathrooms they ought to use. Because ... the 'arguments' on either side are incredibly stupid. Those on the 'pro-trans' side are there just stupid by circumstance.
Like ... we shouldn't even have that discussion. The discussion we should have is an entirely different one.

I've mentioned it before. And technically we've been down the right path. People acknowledged that we exist and perhaps also should have human rights; So, people opened up to it and ... made it possible. What was missing however, was the cultural context for it. Like, yea - the trans-debate wasn't ever really ... had. Anyway - it's not like we "now, that we have it" get to take a sober and objective look at it and "have an opinion" because everytime a trans-athlete outperforms a cis-athlete ... there clearly is ever only one valid opinion to those that are "having the discussion". To the point, mind you, that cis-women are called 'trans' because they like, maybe hit too hard - who knows? - with an army of key-board warriors stating their "objectively true and unfalsifiable opinions" that true women can only have XX Chromosomes and that everything else is a man. Until something maybe happens that flips things on its head, but ... yea, that's kind of the topic here.

The point is: This is a shitshow. And it is with reluctance that I accept that it probably DOES make sense - somehow - at least to some people; But ... whatever the attempt is: If it isn't just a bigoted anti-trans-rights campaign ... it's utterly useless. It doesn't even bring up useful data other than anecdotes designed to make you feel angry at something. I mean, what happened during the olympics was already the next Level. Which is, a woman beats another woman - and people call her Trans; Just because ... that's the imagery they've been indoctrinated with. And how can we trust those people with anything? Really? I wouldn't even trust them with taking a shit without leaving a mess - and that's it! End of the line! Don't be a moron!