Uhm, lot's of stuff going on - thoughts and opinions ricocheting back and forth in my mind. I
suppose I should for now just watch and let things play out; Since chances are that none of the
stuff that's really 'hot' right now is going to matter in a week anymore.
This is really one of those moments that has me wonder about ... "what to be". Like, "my purpose".
What I want my presence to be. But I can't really dig deep because what I want ... specifically ...
is difficult to figure out in worldly terms. I mean ... I'm a tool in God's hands.
On that end - I shouldn't worldly matters dictate my behaviour - though not to the point where
I'm just ... beyond rhyme or reason.
As for rhyme or reason, it might be that now is really not the time where people would or should
care about what I have to say. Though that wouldn't apply to everyone either.
In other terms: I wonder what "the narrative" is, currently. My narrative ... that is.
[Day 2 of writing this]:
When it simply comes down to what Triggers, Moves, Concerns or Motivates me at the moment, there is
that shifting environment of consciousness that serves as some kind of Filter between me and my
output. Part of that filter is what I would call a higher power - say: When you forget something,
there's no recourse to that, really. But another part, I think, is also just my own psyche. My
Biases, likes and dislikes - things like that.
Sometimes things however just Click - and at that point I feel like I actually just 'have' something
to write about. Something that isn't too hypothetical or born from my own contemporary issues -
whatever the good or bad of it may be.
Right now, something that Clicks for me, is
A thing about Patterns
A long long time ago - I don't dare to estimate just how much; Other than that it ocurred to me
at some point along my efforts to write about stuff, so ... say ... Something between 10 and 20
years maybe - I was trying to write something about Patterns; And I'm not really sure about what
it was. I don't even know if I was writing or if it was just a thought accumulating into a headline
before I would write about it. The point is ... Something "told" me not to write about it. Or to
be careful. And something about going into Plaid.
So, maybe the plan was, to let whatever I tried to address there play out - and to come back around
to it once the time is ripe. I can only suspect at this point that what I was trying to write about
was like - to look at and learn from Patterns we see; Though nowadays the idea would be to be cautious
about Patterns we recognize.
The trigger hereto is an Interview or Debate that involves YouTuber 'Destiny' I saw yesterday; In
which the person he was talking to was very verbose about 'Patterns' - and how they informed his
"MAGA Stance". So, that what we would otherwise recognize as "The MAGA Narrative". That, to put it
into the right shape for this writing, being this sort-of unspoken Truth in the background of all
the MAGA talk. That ... Frankenstein's Monster esque amalgamation of thoughts and observations that
is more or less ex- or implicitly implied with "all things MAGA".
To get into this, we have to first of all distinguish between manifactured Patterns and natural
Patterns. Or however to word or further categorize these things. So, speaking of COVID for instance,
there's the following issue: You might know about CRISPR, you then learn of this new experimental
MRNA Vaccine - you put 1 and 1 together and you're skeptical. What occurs from this is what we might
call a psychological bias that produces a natural tendency to avoid this new thing. So, when the
thing then is like ... mandated upon you, you might see it as an attack against your autonomy and
move towards whatever tries to defend against it. And that's what I would count unto the natural
patterns. So: Happenstance.
On the other we have manifactured patterns. And that's a complicated topic - simply because whatever
new thing we learn about the world or our psychology could at least in theory be used to produce a
narrative. But so we're at the simplifying matter: The Narrative.
Like ... think about a spiral image. Say, a black spiral on a white surface or a white spiral on a
black surface. Whether it's this or that is in some way another example of our own pattern recognition
being ... imperfect. To say, though that's also further expanded upon, that if all we do is rely on
the patterns we see - without looking into how those patterns are produced - we're ... not doing our
due diligence if we want to have a strong opinion on the matter.
Then take a black, or white, spiral on a transparent surface - put it ontop of the other such that the
spiral goes the other way - and twist it. There's plenty of "fun with patterns" that can be had that
way - you should however be familiar with these "illusions". So, in this example, it'd look like an
array of white, or black, diamonds is moving out- or inward, depending on which way you spin it. That
transparent sheet now could be a stand-in for the narrative. So, instead of seeing the thing for what
it is, you're applying a separate pattern to make it look like something more ... interesting.
And it can go either way. Say that the spiral itself is in fact just half the story; And that we, at
all, only have a choice between a black or a white spiral overlay. So, is it black or is it white
diamonds that are moving?
Like so - to speak of COVID - we had an "anti COVID" narrative long before we had the MRNA vaccine.
So, people were upset about having to wear masks before people were upset about "having to get the jab".
Thus, to me, there's a clear Pattern of COVID denial - of which the Anti-Vaxx attitude is just the
cherry on top. On the other side of the story there is the narrative of how "the Scientists been lyin
to us". Though here the "viewer" is only privvy to a very superficial set of observations, the narrative
would still fester within their minds. So, to me - again - this goes to confirm the strong 'anti-science'
attitude that we've seen growing over the years, which is certainly linked with some growing "science
illiteracy". So, with people "demanding" that "science" should give us clear, perfect answers. Like,
that science can't be wrong and whenever it is, it's indicative of some problem with it. To the scientifically
literate, that problem is clear: Reality doesn't work that way!
Either way, whatever Narrative you "fell into" - you'd take it as a correct explanation and take it from
there. A pattern that has however manifested from there over the last few years is, that Conservatives
don't know shit. It's been a very annoying back and forth where one side will just claim what the facts
are - and the other side is eager to look into them to confirm or falsify those claims. Once the actual
facts however go against the narrative of the other side, they just move on to the next claim. So, "but
what about this?". And it goes on and on until the person interested in the actual facts doesn't have an
answer. Like, because they haven't really looked into it to the "demanded" extent. To the conservative
then, so they certainly act, that's like a confirmation that they're right. That usually also without
them ever really acknowledging their wrongs. Usually it's like an "I don't know, but what about this?" -
and that's not how you should be able to win in this "Marketplace of ideas". It shouldn't even qualify.
But since this "Marketplace of ideas" only runs by whatever people put out and the amount of people that
agree - well, "here we are".
It creates an environment in which we have to be absolutely and 100% correct on everything to the n-th
degree - where whenever we don't have the absolute knowledge it's like a confirmation of the counter
narrative. Which, to be frank, didn't have to do anything to be validated other than existing. Even if
like 99% of it are demonstrably false. The point being that this is not healthy. Not because of facts
but because of the political weight attached to it. So, say, if we know 100% of the facts and the one
political side listens to them 90% of the time while the other does so 0.00001% of the time - we'd have
to concede to the 0.00001% of the time because of that 10% that "our side" gets wrong.
And to that, again: So, one might say: Yea, but what if those 10% are really important? OK, but do
the 0.00001% do enough to make up for it? Or, are those 10% really important? What are the specific
examples? Well, I suppose COVID would be mentioned. Because of the Vaccine. So, that would imply that
their fears or worries about the Vaccine are correct - but that's not even proven. What is proven is
that there are some side-effects - which might just be the 0.00001% they end up being right on.
But then, so the game of "psych-bias" - the biased shift of our position due to patterns we think to
see - does suggest, we'd be back to "what about ...?" - like, what about that one time where Fauci
said that Masks wouldn't help? Well, I might respond: How about all those times they said that we
should do our own research? How about being the smarter person in the room? How about facts over
feelings? So, how about wearing the Goddamned Mask because that's the sane thing to do?
But perhaps more to the point: "Isn't it conventient that we have a Pandemic that cripples the Orange
Man's re-election campaign?". I mean, it's not like ... there weren't a plethora of other things that
would motivate people to not vote for that dipshit/asshat anymore. Or, how about: Divine Intervention?
See ... MRNA Vaccines are like a natural next step in the evolution of Medicine. And when it comes to
Divine Intervention - I don't get a whole lot of "God caring about our Feelings" vibes from the Bible.
Which takes me to some perhaps much needed
Intermission: The tough Love of God
I suspect that on the face of it, Conservatives have very little issue with this concept; As their whole
identity seems to revolve around tough love. That is, if they're the ones dishing it out. If they're on
the receiving end ... it's all "oh, my feelings! It's so unfair!". Like, "Gamers against politics in
Videogames". Like, right now they've been ... what's the term? Radicalized into militancy - where when
they see "politics in videogames" they'll start like ... harassment campaigns to get those politics out
of gaming. However, what they fail to see in all this, that this is really just them getting 'their'
politics INTO Videogames. Like, say, when it comes to pronouns. Or maybe the tiddy/buttocks slider doesn't
go up far enough. How about #dealwithit?
Like, for me as a Creator - at least in the development phase - when I see these kinds of behaviors; I
find that I must be lucky for my vision to intersect with their sensitivities. I will however not compromise
my Vision for their sake! And I'd rather burn it all down than give them what they want. I mean, what
about artistic freedom? What about the vision of the artist? Like ... 'freedom of speech' and 'freedom of
expression'? When you reduce pieces of art to a set of patterns you deem OK, aren't you just a cog in the
machine of what sucks the heart and soul out arts in the first place?
And I'm not talking about the Art of the Medium here, that's a different thing.
But yea ... patterns. My brain physically cringes in pain sometimes from what arguments I see
people making. Like, ever so often there's this daunting insight of: "There's no point in trying to
intellectually engage with this person/argument". Which is: Me giving up on "you"!
However, so, as for the tough Love of God - the thing is that God does very well have Velvet Gloves. But
God also does have a Hammer and more. And this goes out to "both sides". Like, Righteousness, true
Righteousness, isn't to be a response, but a given. I mean, there sure is Mercy and Forgiveness - things that will have God
look past your issues/transgressions/sins, that kind of stuff; But they too come with conditions. Where,
if you try to argue that God's love is unconditional, you didn't really pay much attention to the word.
If you've paid any attention to it at all. I mean, OK - God's LOVE may be unconditional, but His Sympathies
certainly aren't. Like, when you say that being Gay is a sin - you're doing it! You're saying it so. And if
you're saying it so, you're saying that salvation is to be earned. I don't remember what the academic terms
are - as it's still a bit like a Schism within Christianity how we are to interpret this whole "Mercy and
Forgiveness" thing. From my efforts I know however that God didn't "ungay" me. I got baptized and made it
into the Ninedom. And that's that.
Regardless - that is about Salvation. About "getting on track". It won't stop God from "Godzilla Elbow Drop"ing
you into a sad place, or Smash Bros. Baseball Bat-ing you off of your good mood. If you think you're stable,
God might just take out a hammer and give you a good whack to see how stable you really are.
The thing is: Those aren't physical actions. They aren't tangible. We might call them a "Snowflake Check".
Which doesn't say that you mustn't be a Snowflake - but that God wants you to improve.
If you wanna know what good it does, here's an answer: For visualization, think of a magnetic field perhaps.
Like they're drawn - so, there are layers to it. What I have learned by now is, that every time I felt like
God disrespected me, emotionally, uhm ... well. Let me rephrase that. First, I understand that there are two
ways this can go. Either I'm strong and "toughen up" and move forward, or I'm just ... not ... doing that.
With a third option being that you're getting really upset and ... whatever. These latter two outcomes ...
they're just possibilities and however God choses to react to that is His thing. Like, you might react with
the abandonment and destruction of humanity - He wouldn't like that and so you'd probably get locked up in
some way. From toughening up however I learned that ... yea, I did get tougher. While this kind of toughness
might be subjective - I also noticed that my reaction to it has shifted. That is, the thoughts that come to
mind and the emotions that move me. It's like ... moving to higher layers in "the magnetic field" ... where
... the "circumference" around "the thing" is larger. So, there is more to see. Eventually.
Back on point:
So, God, knowing our abilities, could create a Disease to cripple the MAGA campaign significantly - and then
some - like, showing us what would happen if we stopped using cars for a bit - that is also within our
ability to cure. Like sure, COVID was deadly - but the disease doesn't exist in a vacuum. We can look at
it's deadliness, ignore our ability to cure it and then be really upset with God to have done such a thing.
Or "blame the deep state" instead. Whatever. Then we might celebrate our own genius for defying the will of
God because we didn't after all succumb to this mortal disease - but all of that is nonsense. Like, God can
in fact think ahead and consider the possibilities!
You better believe it!
I guess the bottom-line here is: We also have Patterns that we recognize. And if you want to be fair, you
should try to understand them - to then compare them with yours. But alas, we might move beyond that faster
than we think right now.
Moving on, sort-of
Hmm ... . So, I just remembered that this Video I mentioned also made me wonder about some other thing.
It's kind of like a pattern ... in how Neural Networks function. I mean, our brains receive a signal and
the signal triggers a Synapse and the more often that happens the stronger the Synapse becomes. ~ish.
At least so, certain things eventually just stick out. We're conditioned to recognize them. It's like
... what it's like to have good shoes versus bad shoes. Something that fits well versus something that
doesn't. And so I suppose that while watching that video I heard the line "I disagree" once too much.
It's not the disagreement per-se, but the context of it. Whatever I babbled about in the previous paragraph,
the impression that consolidated itself within me is that Conservatives have a very 'because I want it so'
attitude, in the sense of wishful thinking. A politician could come out and say that they want a law that
entitles registered Republicans to rape children - you could point that out to a Republican voter and they'd
find some way to dodge it while mixing the phrases "I disagree" and "what I want" into it. What they
disagree with would be ... that it means anything; And what they want is ... 'not that' of course. It doesn't
change that they'll end up voting for it - but them not wanting it makes it perfectly OK.
The truth however is, that we couldn't possibly vote for anyone - not in this day and age - if that were
our standards and so we all have to cut one another some slack. Like so ... as someone who's watching US
politics from the outside ... while still somehow having a side I'm on and a team I cheer for - I must
admit that I find it convenient and hilarious that so many Republicans end up being pedophiles; And
whatever other things there are that we don't like. It's like ... I'm not on the side I'm on because of
those things - but ... "I'll take it" ... as they say. It just so happens that "we", my side, end up on
the moral high ground on most if not all things - when it comes to contemporary politics - and I'm glad
that it is so. I mean, it'd really suck - like they came close to it on occasion - when the team I don't
like actually has a better position than "my team". Like, if Republicans came out in defense of Gaza and
in condemnation of Israel. Though ... granted ... at this point I feel absolutely justified to discard
everything they say as insincere and possibly also a lie while probably also something they themselves are
more guilty of ... but the conversation around it would then also be just that much worse.
So again we have a problem where 'the Patterns' we can identify and the terminology we derive from them
aren't helping. Or, in other words: It's just generalization. It's cognitive laziness that forgets to
"look at both sides" with reason and specificity.
Like Jesus said: Those of you who are without sin, throw the first stone!
Cool - I like Jesus - but if you're accusing someone of throwing stones while in a stone-throwing
competition, you're missing the point my dude!
And so, because the pressures I feel seem to demand it so, I have to say: Nuance is no longer dead!
I mean, I'm not a Christian Zealot that gets away with being a Christian Zealot because I said once
that I acknowledge science, I get away with being a Christian Zealot because I do acknowledge Science
to the point that I don't register as a Christian Zealot though in all actuality I'm most likely the
biggest Christian Zealot there is.
Like so, I don't call Orange man a fascist because I don't like him, I don't like him because of a
variety of stuff, one of which is that ultimately he apparently only put points into the Fascism skill
tree. Starting with the whole "grab 'em by the pussy" thing - I started to feel confirmed in my initial
skepticism over him. That so many people were so willing to forgive him was startling. The point being:
Someone who repents from a thing, truly, also shows and expresses symptoms of that repentance. I may not
repeat around every sentence that I'm a converted science enjoyer, but me being a science enjoyer should
show in how I'm wording myself. Some might question the sincerity of those words, but at least on face
value that's who I am.
So, I'm taking issue with this "oh, we can't call them fascists" thing - though I guess it's fair given
how many people understand only very little of it. I mean, just from looking at everything MAGA it's
clear that those MAGA fanatics either don't know what it is or they pretend to know that it's something
else.
More to the point: They don't want it to be fascism. Or else, well, they warm up to being fascists. Which
is what fascism ultimately tries to accomplish. To give people "reasonable justification" for ... well ...
supporting a fascistic regime.
Well, 'their' fascistic regime.
And the more people that call them fascists without truly knowing how to explain it, the more it'll look
like we just call them that for no reason. Subsequently we have to deal with more fascists being like
"you can't call everything fascist that you don't like" - though, if I can be cool with everything but
fascism, that's what I have to do.
Anyway ... here's a fun little thought: The problem with contemporary liberal tolerance is that it's
too tolerant unto Fascists and too intolerant unto Anti-Fascists. Like, if we want to be tolerant - we
can't tolerate the intolerant. Broadly speaking. And so we have to be cool with people punching Nazis;
More so than with Law Enforcement cracking down on Anti-Fascists.
Like so - wouldn't it be cool if we had a law that would allow "They're a Nazi" to be a viable defense
against assault charges? Of course the burden of proof would be on them to prove that the one they
assaulted are in fact a Nazi - such that the effect of that defense hinges upon whether or not that is
actually the case.
I mean, instead it seems cool to let people get away with murder because 'she' whom they murdered had
a dick. Or with rape because 'she' wore red underwear. Like ... what in the actual fuck?
I mean ... when it comes to Fascism, why we ought not like it, the first problem is this ... lack of
education. Like so, when they step into the honeypot of Fascism, some find it appealing or reasonable.
So they adopt that philosophy and rhetoric thinking or feeling like they're just rational and in the
right; And when they get called a Nazi they're all surprised because how dare we?
Part of it then is the escalation of the perceived threat. Like we've seen it with LGBTQ+ people. Like, the
more people perceive us as overstepping our boundaries - the more urgently they feel about drawing thicker
lines. Often enough the boundaries we overstep however are like ... drawn around our shoes. Four circles
if you're wearing heels. And if you can't reasonably engage with where the discussion is at - while
insisting that your opinion is valid, sorry ... you're empowering people that not only tell you lies, but
also abuse the engagement of your anger for their own political gains. You might feel like you did a
reasonable thing "to protect the children", and if they make child-labor legal and make it OK for kids to
get raped and pregnant we might try to congratulate you for having accomplished the opposite - as we said
you would, but hey ... it's all fair "because 'both sides'" ... isn't it? I don't know. I don't even know
what that last thing is supposed to mean.
But yea, I suppose it's a "both sides" kind of thing because ... there seem to be crazy people everywhere.
I'm Racist
I say that because I really am. But I also have to acknowledge that the things I dislike about people who
look a certain way I don't like or smell a way I don't like ... ever so often apply to people I ought to
like for racist reasons. I mean ... I could say that my race is the best, but I don't think there are enough
Half-German half-Filipinos to make that a successful movement. So ... I ought to stick to the cultural
thing.
So, I chose however not to lean into it. I chose to look past that and acknowledge that every human being
should have a fair shot in this society. The society I want to be a part of at least.
Which is one reason to be upset about Israel these days. And while I have some sympathies with the Israeli
people ... I can't extend those very far. I'm sure the whole thing has already been explained to death -
but just for the record:
When I learned about what Hamas did on October 7th, the shock that I felt over it was soon replaced by an
eerie ... somewhat daunting worry. I worried that it would give a lot of people reason to 'do something
stupid' as I'd call it. I also worried that it would give people the justification they needed to further
plunge this world into chaos. By whatever rhetoric they might use to call what they do "Order". Or "Justice".
I was worried; And then eventually I saw first pictures and videos of that in action ... and before having
heard any influencer's take on the matter I thought to myself that this is unacceptable!
And because fascists do what fascists do - it only got worse from there!
And I don't feel like justifying what I mean by 'fascist'. Let it be as simple as "thing that >>I<<
don't like". Except it's something that isn't fascism.
Hmm ... OK. So, for starters: Fascism is "Political Assholedom" that aspires "Military Supremacy" to re-enforce
that assholeness with. And by asshole I don't mean the kind of asshole that all of us have, I mean the kind of
asshole that comes as a legitimate insult.
Or, in other terms: By todays "standard" - which sadly enough is more of an 'ought to be' than an 'is' - we
try to settle our differences in what we'd call a "more civilized" manner; Than how it was before. With WW2
just being the most recent iteration of all of that savage Assholeness. Of course some assholes - well -
evidently looked at it and thought: "How weak!" and moved on to just ignore these civilized structures. And so,
it's ... like baked into the cake there that when we have wars these days, it's usually because whoever has it
ignores that 'civilized standard'. Which is, yea, in some way mostly just a polite request to not be an
asshole - but it's also the thing that resonates with the most people. What remains are those that it doesn't
resonate with - and those are the fascists!
Simple!
Or ... not so simple. I mean, one part of this story is that it's usually not the people who want a particular
war, but politicians that imply that the people want it. And usually there's an amount of people that will be
found who agree with that ... while sooner or later it's plainly obvious that nationalism is outdated.
What little remains of it, what little we can't shed just yet, is best used to move towards global unity.
"Under the reign of Germano-Filippine Supremacy! Muahuahuahua! (Except when it's not me on top, of course!)"
Anyway. I guess that's me for today.
I hate modern Software. I hate the contemporary Internet. I loathe planned obsolence and the manifactured
slowdown of processing hardware. I hate the modern world. I hate the modern world. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! ... "Oh God please make it stop!" ... He knows what I mean. [Buhuhuhuhu]
Why does everything just keep getting worse? WHY? I wannna SCREAM and RIP SOMEONE APART!
Anyway ... this much I was able to write, including waiting time, before I was finally able to navigate to
my YouTube history and select the video here so I could share it!
Because ... that's the video I was mentioning. Here's another one I watched in the meantime I throw in
for good measure: