Well ... high as a kite

I think I can safely say now, that it takes about a week to get used to sober again. And I can also say that ... having bought a cute little bong was a good idea. And further I can tell that just a single ... hmm ... around ... apple seed sized bud (dried, powdery resolution, a sprinkle) of this 27%THC "Head"/Pot (the 'pot' or 'head' is the part of the bong where you put the stuff you wanna smoke into. "Pulling a Head/Pot" is slang (here, in german) - for instance - for smoking Cannabis through a bong, specifically a single 'fill' of the 'head'. "Flushing" it is when sucking all that which is in the head through ... which isn't possible if you're using a sieve - as is the case with most (well, all that I know) Glass Bongs since the hole of the glass head is usually too large to just put it in without one (the hole to the 'chillum' (that is the tube that the head is attached to) is too big. Acrylic Bongs on the other hand usually have Metal (Aluminum?) heads - and the hole to the chillum is small enough for the tobacco mix to keep the whole "pot" stuck until the whole thing is "ashen" enough to get sucked through)) of weed ... ends that period of sobriety.

I have a glass bong, by the way.

It probably then also takes a while to get accustomed to the high again - so that the amount of time it takes to get used to sobriety again correlates with the degree to which one is adjusted to the high.
As a note from self, I understand that I have a hard time not smoking weed when I have access to it. One might call it an addiction. And I hate that term, right now, because the inner eye now got scared and that generates bad vibes.
That is also carried by the intensity of the high - which mixes with the yet fresh memory of sobriety. Though I have experienced this shift on and off - I have barely ever experienced one such "entry phase" without being first flooded by an onset of such paranoia.

And here it might be worth noting - that I think that one thing Cannabis does (akin to how it is said that Alcohol reduces inhibitions), is to increase one's ... the best word might be "Imprudence" (german: Leichtsinn, 'light (not heavy)' 'sense or meaning' -> frivolousness, rashness).
I like the german word - though if you're coming from a different language it might be difficult to get - ... hmm ... "Leicht" as in 'light (not heavy)' ... 'unheavysense' ... . So, the mind goes 'high'.
Like ... lifting off.

And it is here that I come to one of the things I meant to write initially. At the very start of this.


I now however realize that there may be a reason to why I wanted to write about it, to say, it's something I enjoy. But I didn't understand that yet. Like, it's not a thing I can do per se. I just ... at first did it instictively - and it seemed to be the smart thing to do. For a great many things in life. It is however ... nothing I can easily wrap into words.

But - the gist of it is: to stay grounded.
But ... how to get to the ground?


Oh my. And here we're at a crossroads. I can follow this path, or I can take the fork left - or I can just turn right. So to speak. Or I could ... if I could hold on to what those paths are again.




Ah ... "Buten'Shai'Zi" - I ... meant to rename it - to something that rolls of smoother from the tongue - or doesn't sound so weird - So, let's find a language in which the concept of 'filtering the contents of ones mind by distilling experiences and thoughts into truths' can be coined into a neat term.

"Hochfaulenza" would be my entry.


Which is local dialect for what could be transcriped as "High or Upward ~Procrastination/Procrastinating~".

And maybe either of these two concepts shaped in my mind in response to this entry phase. So, moments in which the turmoil in me required a response from me, while being in an environment essentially free from distractions. At least were such the moments in which these ideas took root.
In essence I think it's ... about finding the ground in the turmoil, as a meditative act. To so ... not let the winds of the "potentialized" consciousness carry you away - but to establish presence within yourself.

And ... uhm ...

X4.2 ... uh ... current

On another note: While I was actually looking forward to sobriety because I reasoned myself into believing that what I was working on was probably best extended upon in sobriety. Then I however was sober - and came to the conclusion that actually ... given all the improvements to my codebase that I've made high ... I rather not ... . Now however I come to think that maybe this was just because during the "dowturn" I just wasn't actually 'there' (sober and adjusted - "neutral?") yet.


And I suppose ... that's all for today!