1 MPC

MPC: Month(s) Past Christmas


For all I can tell, I almost died there again. Which sets my almost (maybe) near death experiences count to 4. I think. So, there's the time where I 'felt like' I was poisoned (probably by myself) and thought I was dieing. There was my extreme underweight, though I suppose I wasn't realistically dieing just yet. There was the time I collapsed in a Hospital Toilet while taking a dump - which ended with me faceplanting over onto the ground. And last night, where I consciously chose to take the most public route to the pharmacy.

Like so - I had to think: Maybe this Flu saved my life. For however shitty it felt - lasting from Friday to Wednesday/Thursday - that meant I didn't go to school which meant that I didn't have to expend extra resources I couldn't so easily recover.

I'm probably exaggerating - as in "Upturn Paranoia" - but the food situation had gotten somewhat dire. I was wrong about the Vinegar, the Eggs didn't do any good either. Some Meat and some Fries were OK, but I suppose it's neither because of the meat nor because of the Fries - but because of my condition at the time. Like, the last proper meal being far enough in the past.


Anyway. I had the test-results in my mailbox - and what I have is: Pancreatic Insufficiency. That means: My Pancreas doesn't produce enough digestive enzmes - and so ... I have problems digesting. If I read this right, I have a severe insufficiency (have: 92 micrograms of this "E1" stuff, reference value: 200 to 500 microcrams (medium to low insufficiency at 100-200 micrograms)).
And ... I'm glad this got figured out. From how I felt ... this is now registered as: That's what a slow and agonizing death is like! And yea ... I'm not curious to have a more thorough understanding of it. The slow and agonizing death I mean.

As it goes: "I don't need that in my Life" - DMX


So I have some medication now and it seems to help. The sleep was utterly terrible - but whatever is going on in my stomach/digestive tract right now seems to be OK. I'm not sure if it's the medication or if I'm not used to it - but there is a very strange, tingling sensation that occasionally bursts into a pain (such as from contractions, and inflammation, bloating) that eventually mellows out into a sensation of heat ... it's ... weird but ... kind of ... satisfying. Maybe even envigorating.


I also don't constantly feel like I have to throw up anymore. I would have done without the 'feel like' part - but since nothing came out most of the time (but air), I didn't really throw up per se. So ...


I guess this is part of the "I didn't have it easy per se" routine.