Work Environments, Hostility & Capitalism | Addendum

Oh dang. This is really getting to me. And ... maybe now I understand this weird feeling I've been getting sometimes. Uh, what I mean is:

How am I going to explain this to Mormons?

Maybe not the ones I know. But I understand that Mormons predominantly vote Republican - or so it would seem ... as the Church is practically aligned with them. And that ... yea. I ... guess I had convincing reasons to think of that part of my life as behind me.

But ... there is something that is getting to me. It's like ... on my tongue ... except, a little bit more vague and further removed.
It was right there ... and now ...

So - whatever seems to be the issue isn't the issue. There are some corners we first have to move around.


I guess it has something to do with: It may not be entirely clear what I'm trying to say. And my hyperactive ass brain takes this as an invitation to go on a tangent about the deeper cognitive mechanisms in play. Or how to put it.
Eventually I might be reading it wrong - and it's really just hitting some nerves and my hyper sensitive ass wants to help, though in this particular instance that'd be ... silly.

But anyhow.
As the text goes, there's a group of people I practically dismiss for the most part as "Lost Causes". In a sense though, those were the target audience. Anyhow, it's a circumstance. In consequence there might not be a real audience - except for what tangential insights I may have offered.
In that regard, it's really just a slice of culture that shouldn't be taken too seriously.


Do I think it's bad behavior? Well - something however pushed me to write this. I do however also feel no need to apologize. What I do, or what I think I do, is in simplest terms: To Provoke. And that in a way is ... as of yet still a part of my being.
It starts with my transition - in that my religious upbringing and life produces this understanding that it's wrong. And to separate whatever needs to be separated there is difficult if life itself doesn't maintain those separations either. When religious people keep saying that I'm wrong for being trans - then on my part I remain to be a Bitch. Or whatever the right word would be.
Naughty? Well - sure! I have to go against "the rules". In doing so, in finding myself, I find pleasure. Not like a high or an orgasm, although it also comes and goes - but it's the pleasure of being myself. It's something I must assume cis-people experience as normality. And in so finding 'positivty' in this "transgression" - this ... let's call it a separation ... only gets re-enforced. You could read it as a "Fuck You @Society" - or whatever wants to tell me that it's wrong - because the positive re-enforcement makes it a certainty for me that I'm where I want to be.
It so grows to be this attitude thing that is in conflict with this "Monster" - where our mere existence may already be seen as a provocation. It may be a hypothetical, for the most part, but there also isn't much of a counter-weight to it. I mean, in my current sphere this isn't an issue. What remains is some self-confidence that I gained from the positive feedback of my own actions.
And so - the first layer on top of that is to not shut my mouth. If people can't handle the facts - that's first of all a them problem. That may give me some pause ... some reason to reflect and ponder ... and so I figure that I should take some extra steps to explain myself. Here and there at least. Else I could just sum this whole page up as "Fuck You" and be done with it. It wouldn't really help anyone and I suppose I'd also be a lot more miserable that way.
What happens next is some kind of clustering. As I perceive the world, patterns emerge. Conservatives like to say these kinds of things, Some other weird amalgam of people likes to say those kinds of things - such and such - the boxes are made by themselves.

Like ... yea, right ... "here we go again": There are these conservative ... LGBTQ - and they take issue with it, probably because they feel dragged into environments that don't line up with what they want to spend their time with. And when that turns into "sucking up to Conservatives" ... it's sad! Honestly! Let me explain: There's this thing we got going where seek social confirmation. We want to be seen in a certain light perhaps. Conservatives hereby ... well ... it's Money! Conservatism is a great deal about it - and if you want to call yourself a Christian you might wanna check in on what Jesus had to say about that! Hint: Something about serving two Lords!


So we get to sad figures like ... a black woman that runs white supremacist propaganda, a gay man that gets insulted by his own audience and a trans woman that has to play the punching bag for transphobes.
So, I dare say we can see which Lord THEY chose!


And given all that, I can't just say: Yea, your average Republican/Conservative probably isn't "like that". I mean - I'm fairly convinced that they could be nice folks to hang out with - because up in person and in a non-confrontational setting people tend to be that way. Everyone says it constantly also. "Can't we just get along?". "But what about the Children?".

Well, yea - what about them?
Let me tell you a story about a girl. She entered the public spotlight at a young age, eventually became very famous, then eventually suffered some kind of public breakdown. Her father then essentially became her legal owner as ... it's Britney Spears. The story continued that ... she eventually was silenced. An adult woman that wasn't given the right to speak for herself.
It's like that meme in that video I shared: Scientists trying to Understand Lesbians by asking Heterosexuals.

The whole concept of Gender Affirming care is medical. The goal would be to understand the thing and provide the best care possible. But we can't get there if people stick their finger in their ears and sing "Lalalala".

I mean - when a child comes out to their (probably Conservative) parents as Gay or Trans ... and they get to hear stuff like "No You're not!" or "Not under my Roof!" - what's the take there?
Like, eventually the kid ends up on the streets. Would it not? So yea, well done - Conservative Logic done did it once again!

I mean - it seems like Conservative minds are like stuck in some Barn or Wooden Cottage - the rough life, Jeans, Dirt and the Wild. On the other side there's where actual humans are. Social reality. A lot of it. We nowadays mostly (should) live in well isolated houses - barely ever having to set foot on any kind of dirt - allthewhile society at large is a lot broader than whatever your own slice of the pie is.

And - what I'm struggling with is: Where do I even begin?
I mean, given that most of this is indirect experience - I should start with myself, the direct experience I have. And I'm lucky that I was born in a fairly progressive part of the world!
Or was I?


Like - how far back do I need to go? How broadly do I have to reach?
There is science. There is social precedent. There's observable behavior. It's a thing! We do exist! And it is not in fact a modern thing! But I'd say that living in a 21st century first world country should afford us the luxury to 'live in truth' rather than just for survival. If you wanna be a cis-straight Cowboy, go ahead! I won't stop you!
Sorry, I ... got a little carried away and kind of lost the thread ...


So, the boxes make themselves. And in as far as I'm concerned to not leave them a mess - not to boast moral superiority but it is what it is. If you feel misrepresented, I'm sorry. But if you feel offended by the Truth, that's a You problem. I say.

Jesus without the Truth is not the Way!
Else I could just make up my own Jesus. Maybe a Jesus Gundam and say that Salvation is gained by sending me money because Jesus Gundam wants me to buy Gunpla; And I as their Prophet need to buy Gunpla because Gunpla is Freedom! Whatever. Nobody needs to believe it - the point still stands.

Anyway. Some of the issues are political. The ideas attached to them. So and so. So, of course some of the boxes are carrying political labels. We can talk about how we might want to make the electoral process better, more effective and less toxic. But I have a vague feeling that it would need a miracle to get there.


Anyway. I do suppose that I have to change my mindset a little. Like ... that miracle is basically already a thing, at least there is one. So ...

I suppose people might not have expected me to be who I am. Or me to be as I am. Nor that things would turn out that way. And I suppose ... content like what last I wrote might come accross as a little bit weird. That's at least the vibe I was getting.
And yea. I'm ... somewhat impatient in some regards - and that translates into these walls of text that might be a little bit overwhelming. Generally ... I think the biggest problems are misinformations - politicians and influencers that lie all the time - and I want to be clear as daylight about where I stand in this chaos.

I also ... I ... there's a little bit of a sadistic pleasure in it. Well, hoping for the best. So, essentially I'm like a pig standing in a ditch ... waiting for the promised rain that turns it into the biggest mud puddle a pig could want. Catharsis is a word that comes to mind. I mean, in essence "they" are psychopaths and it makes me angry ... over and over again ... to hear their nonsensical takes - and I lament the absence of ... a proper unifying voice. I see all those attempts at sowing a little sanity here and there, and they seem to remain vastly unnoticed.

So, when I say: Conservative Christians naturally believe that Jesus and His prophets ought to be Conservatives also - that for once comes from a point of virtually ZERO intersection with any kinds of Conservative values. At least regarding modern day conservatism; And when looking past the deceptive packaging.
Also, everything I say can be regarded a challenge. I'm human and I make mistakes. It sucks when it sucks but it shouldn't. Not in that I should become better, but in that we as a whole should calm the fuck down more.
But mostly I want to further the narrative that I'm not a Conservative. But to move and come into action - that's difficult to learn. And when you're part of a group that's not really "on the Helm" much, there's also not much opportunity to gather these experiences. A lot of it has to do with economic conditions - and yea, seeing how Conservative politics is all about deciding stuff over people's heads with utter disregard for the harm they might cause ... uh ...
Yea ... I kind of want to grill them over an open fire ... but ... I'll save that for when the embers come down.