Looking back and turning into Salt

Oh yea, ... right right. Now that I mention it ... that's a can of worms I might want to take a look at. But ... nah.
Not right now.
(Fingers Crossed)

Uhm ... well. It's been a bunch of weeks. And ever since then, that ominous day near the end of this February, I've been looking up and around and I felt ... well, maybe 'feeling' isn't the right word here. For years I've been looking up at the sky. I mean, weather ... I've learned ... has a very severe effect on my mood. And maybe that's not a good sign. The amount of pampering God has directed towards me also leaves me a bit ... shook. Like ... being a bit ... maybe a lot ... more critical of my well being. Anyway. So, it could be clear blue sky, perfect temperature, everything fine ... even my mood ... and yet ... the sky looked black. And on the horizon ... even more darkness. Depression. A very ... dark future.

Like ... it's an image that I'm sure some have seen. I'm not sure where I've seen it. Maybe it's just my mind piecing things together from bits and pieces - so, it may be a fake memory. So, let's piece it together. Resident Evil ... the movie Zombies ... those with the Gas Masks. Gas Masks. Soldiers in Gas Masks. Marching side by side through the rubble of a city - maybe on a poster in all red and black - or whatever and black. Probably not purple, but more like silver or gray. Whatever. It's strange. I mean ... thinking back I certainly would put the color red on it. But maybe that's just some "fire at the horizon" bias leftover from setting the scene.

But then ... it felt like that veil had lifted. Like ... it's ... all good again. But alas ... time went on, my focus shifted. And the more I noticed, well, the closer I got to now. Like ... obviously. But ... so, obviously it's dawning upon me to the extent that I'm on and about to call it a thing. To accept it, to write about it - which brings the next issue. Like, I must wonder how long that will take. The optimism. I mean, by now I've learned to wait for the catch. And like, that's what I've been doing the last few weeks.

So, also the last few weeks I had school. The previous two and this one. And after school was over I'd come home and give the day a brief reflection and I'd get to think of this one or the other encounter or whatever - and the oddest thing ... was that I didn't have to chastise myself for how awkward or whatever I was. I mean, right now I think it makes the most sense to assume that all my paranoia, or like ... that feeling that "my enemy" was always ahead of me, whatever I did, was really just an effect like that. That ... people would just react to me as I react to myself. So, it wouldn't matter where I turned, "the enemy" would definitely be there already, except it wasn't 'the actual enemy'.

So yea, it now makes sense. This passage in Isaiah about ... the one so ugly. I mean, I always thought that it would apply to me given how I'm literally the person with the eyes who sees all the people constantly turning away; And so with my letter to the Mormons. I mean, I still don't really trust all those images in my head - but ever so often they tend to stick out like this. I mean, there was this impression that they just couldn't turn towards me. Because ... yea, that thing. Which should now be ... gone. But I wonder. Did the memo arrive? I don't get it.

So, that's gone. Although, now I'm starting to second guess what I "saw". Is the sky still black? Is it not? Was it ever?
I mean, it sure was. That shit's burned into my mind. But is it gone now?
Actually?

And the real world? I mean, it's ... weird. I can see what they were/are trying to do. Somehow. I'm quite convinced that Merz is like ... the German version of Trump, like ... he talks like trump but in a more intelligent way. A more competent sounding jargon. I don't like how he was like: Europe has to invest more into the military - and we were like "nu uh" and now we're like ... okay.
I mean, I get it, I just don't like how there's like ... some kind of evil master plan-esque outline taking shape in the background.

But I think I've seen them slipping. Like ... in my bubble ... I have only once heard of the idea of Trump trying to secure the American market for the american people or something like that. So, everywhere I go I hear "Tarifs bad" and "ha ha, line go down". And I also feel like this is America's decent into something that looks like the German Democratic Republic or whatever they have in North Korea. It's ironic how all those shouting about how Communism never worked literally voted themselves into a Communistic Dictatorship. It's been a bit of a trend lately it seems.
Unrelated to ... "the event".

But yea. Right now it's this big elephant in the room ... and I'm sure that something was supposed to happen or maybe is yet to happen. But yea. Here's the thing. In as far as that might have been a way to "kill the prophecy", it's like ... 'duh' ... of course it's not going to happen. But can we grant them that this qualifies as "doing a Homer"? I would argue: No! It doesn't!

Anyway, violence is not a solution.

Uhm, to clear things up. If there was this big plan to kickstart the American Economy through those tarifs, everyone should be talking about how "line go down" was expected, but not like "ha ha" but like "that's the idea". And this lack of proper communication is already a strike in my book - if we were to count it like that. A red flag. As in: Dead in the water. To me, so, to my sensitivities.
But what does it apply to? Is it just my bubble?
So why is it then, there are so many "MAGA don't like tarif" sources? Shouldn't they be IN that holiest of bubbles? The way I see it, that could have been part of the Plan to keep the libs in the dark, you know, for the purpose of owning them later. Maybe like ... literally. And maybe that's still like ... not entirely off the table. I don't kow.

The thing is, as liberals I don't think we care. I certainly can't speak for all, but I can roughly speak for that Stream I'm a part of. So, as for how my mind is "attuned to the hive mind". Naturally we like to think more globally because we grew up in a globally open world. And going isolationist like that ... that's like strike two. Especially since the reason for doing so is "immigrants" - while the real problems I'm aware of "ain't got nothing to do with no immigrants". Well, at least not the ones everyone be talking about today. And DEI and ... feels like ages ago when that was the topic of the day.

But I also have to stop and realize how just like that, the Liberal position aligns with ... well, more pollution and exploitation because we argue in favor or defense of the global market without being given the tools to criticize it because ... there's also like ... no audience for it. It's something we have to understand is an issue, check, we definitely can't fix it right now, check, so - yea. But there we are again. Like ... cornered. In the defensive at all sides.

Cannabis must be Legal. And ... [woooosa]

[potbreak]
Have I ever complained about how one-dimensional I think people are?
I'm sure I must have tried at several occasions. So, maybe there was a "curse" on me. I mean, yea ... lest I forget. So ... I have an idea ... based on the things we've been looking at here so far. Triggered by a little ... moment of diassociation earlier today. There was something up about the color black. So, for pride month I think it makes sense to do a little ... showcase. Let's see how it plays out? If anyone pays any attention?

alpha. Active throughout May (Pridemon) {

}
Ooof. That was actually a bit difficult.
Not even sure if I did everything right. :/... . Well, I'll get it done by then I think. Until then:

Lemons are Sweet