Stop the Pious Bullshit?

Or should I start with it? Just asking because to me it seems like ... to some I might not be Pious enough. I got this ... idea ... now, where ... "Pious" means that I'll rather talk politics and tell You to ask God for help - and that's pretty much it. So, "Pious" then saying ... that I think that that's enough. But, as I was kind of trying to highlight previously ... there's just a lot of stuff that can go wrong. And when it goes wrong, it isn't down to what You do or don't know - it's down to the thing I didn't tell You. Which is ... ever so often ... a thing I didn't even know or think about. So ... at that point I have to tell You like in person to explain to me what the issue is. The specific one.

And I'd assume that it's a load of nothing where the problem is that the foundation isn't given.

So, let's start with Basics: God, to me, isn't a euphemism. God to me is figurative or a figure of speech either. God is real. Like ... a Person. When people talk about the Cosmos in the Metaphysical sense, they basically talk about God although these philosophies tend to subtract intelligence, ego and individuality from the "Divine Entity" - which is ... as close to God as AI to being a human being. It's kind of a matter of perspective but at the end of the day ... maybe even a foul comparison. ... Anyway ...

So, when I say: "Ask God for help" - I don't mean that as a mockery, I'm not sarcastic. To me, it's the very last resort of logic and reason. And in this world, we're pretty much there constantly.


Anyway ... I don't say "Ask God for help" because that's a bit too vague. So, refer to part one of the extensive Introduction, specifiaclly what I have to say about Wisdom.

So, let's talk about Wisdom. I've been namedropping Eshem a lot, but so - the Enemy of Eshem is Wisdom. So, what is this Wisdom? People might first of all think about Salomon - but I believe people need to realize that Salomon, as it stands, isn't one of the Good guys. From how I see it, he could very well have been an evil prick. This shit about cutting a baby in half ... well. I guess it's a big brain move ... in that specific circumstance, which then is ... yes ... a form of Wisdom.
But also it's a gamble. So, based on that alone ... a lot of folks wouldn't have resolved the issue in the same way - but ... anyway.

So, I'm not trying to say that Salomon was stupid (and Fuck YOU, by the way) - but that that is a form of intelligence people often associate with Wisdom. And by those standards ... Trump might be a wise guy. After all he somehow managed to become President of the USA.
More persistent of a concept within the Bible however is Wisdom as compared "against" Foolishness ... and ... it's like it's own Genre of Scripture. The gist of it is, that those who reject the word of God, or disobey Him or any such thing ... those are the Fools. And of course. If God says if You go out You'll die and You go out anyway ... what am I to say to You?

But sure, it is more complicated than that.

So, the reason I felt comfortable mentioning Trump is because ... looking at this situation now ... where Iran has shoved a big dildo up his rear end ... I'm given an opportunity for a counter issue. See, Trump might be "wise" and all that - and still he's picking those fights. I guess this is the same thing as the Crusades. And the Bible is pretty clear about "where" the Problems will be. I mean, it's basically marked on the map. If You follow my interpretation of the 7 Trumpets, kind of. So, the sixth one (Revelation 9). Which then might explain the USA's obsession with the middle east.

So yea. A Trump supporter then has to find excuses for why ... he's still "the man". Like, how can I fault such a smart and reasonable man for trying? It's not like I would have or could have done any better. But yea, I'm also not plotting a Genocide or such.


And this should show "You" (Trump supporter) just how deep Your head is up his arse.

What else can I say?


It sure is "wise" to check if there's any threat to be worried about and if so, get rid of it. Sure thing. But ... at some points the "traditional Wisdom" should be back on the table. And why is that? Well, because God exists. He doesn't stop to exist just because You believe in Trump. God doesn't stop doing God stuff for it. And although their interests are practically, presumably, always at odds, at times ... there are the moments where God wants One thing rather than the Other, thus makes it so ... and then ... however You want to flip and turn it ... I told You so. Had You only seen it coming. Could You only have prepared for it. Sure thing, what's next? Want me to cut off my own head?

Well, I suppose I didn't tell You so, as for that specific situation. But that such situations exist ... that's like a given. So, I don't understand the problem here.


It's not just "if You do God's bidding, You'll be blessed" - whatever that (can) amounts to these days.
But what even is God's bidding? I mean, that's the next thing. If we want to Euphemise God, we move the goalpost onto some other thing. Like "God's bidding" in a world where we have a variety of traditions to chose from if we want to be objectively neutral.

This is Point one in my Three Points. The Gnostic Dilemma. So, before we can talk about "God's bidding" - we need to know and understand God. Alas: That's Your own responsibility.

But so, there's also just "the Plan". Or how to put it. Whatever God DOES ... happens to be just that. You are then either in the way of it or not.


Then there's also "Aeonic Wisdom" (as from 'the Twelve Aeons'). Now, I think of the Aeons as like ... parallel Worlds; But more specifically they're aspects of the Spirit. The Mind, Consciousness, "Spiritual Intelligence" ... the raw essence of being, God, creation, the human mind ... however You want to call it, there's probably a way of misreading it also.

If You want to know where Pandora's Box is ... well, I mean, my first big spiritual upheaval and turmoil and struggles ... came from an idea I didn't know how to confront. At long last I just had to shut it and ignore it. So, these things I now refer to as Pandora's Boxes. But there's this idea, for instance, that Life, Wanting and Thought aren't in fact ONE, but that Life is practically the Soul ... and that "God" is merely a form of Wanting and Thought that is being dominated by a Soul. "Formerly Jesus Christ" - "who gave it to Peter and he then betrayed Him" - or whoever Your villain of choice would be. Me perhaps.

And now ... yea. I suppose there are so and so many people who belive this without question - and so, me doing Miracles isn't taken for what it is, but now I have to somehow prove to You that ... I'm not the Antichrist. So ... what we get to is a stalemate where You effectively end up in a situation where Your default position is to deny God. Well, because Your concept of God is weird ... and You don't trust the whole thing.

And since I can't do what I can't do ... all I can say to that is: Sucks to be You!


Which is to say ... well, if there's a way I'm yet to figure it out. Until then ... I suppose the joke's on me!


And so, if You can't pray ... nor trust any answer that is given ... what do You do?
Well ... asking for Wisdom ... yet again ... takes the cake.

And here ... we kind of have to change the mood and the atmosphere, to say ... now we get to THE Wisdom.


I mean, first of all, I don't know what it is one could be afraid of. I mean, not asking God for wisdom ... rejecting the idea and doing it in all but the right ways ... that definitely is a You problem no matter how hard You want to thrust it upon others. But, let me recollect my thoughts ... I'm realizing ... I mean, the narrative here opens a path I haven't really explored much yet.

I mean, the way I "see" it, the core issue is that asking God for wisdom could be considered weak. If You're strong You assume that it's given already. Like, by default and that all You have to do is utilize it. And what can I say? At that point we're rather far off the deep end. So, You want to believe in God or whatever ... but do all in Your might to ignore Him.
And in place of Him You install Your own selfishness. For what else is the function of what has just been described?

I mean, if the "Fake Jesus" story is true ... then ... how would I need Your permission? Wouldn't I just make it all suck by default and come up with some silly story to make You trust it?
Like ... in case "the Real God" shows up or has some plan or such?
Why go through the effort? If not to weed out the worthy from the unworthy? And so ... which side of that line would You want to be on?


I mean, with that attitude ... You're throwing the whole Bible to the wayside ... which, OK, fair ... but there's only so much one can do about it. I mean ... I have my own beliefs and convictions ... and the way I would have to act if Your version were right ... it doesn't work. I'd have to be a "strong man" ... playing silly g... uhm, actually ... I don't know.
Probably whatever Trump is doing right now. Like ... "by whatever means" ... and uh ... go fuck yourself.


But yes, whomever You arrive at when You try to refer to the one who is above all others, there is the one who is above all others ... and whoever that is, however they tick ... that's what You're stuck with. Indefinitely. We all are.

Trying to reach the one above all, I would think is first of all a matter of Your personal psyche. To redeem its paranoia or how You want to call it - to get a sober idea of whom You're trying to reach.
And what then? Well ... nothing?

I mean, it might seem like nothing.


Now, I'm sorry that there's still a lot You'd have to piece together from my random writings. This shit is def way too much for me to keep track of. Another issue where help would be greatly appreciated. By the way.

Like, at this point there isn't an institution that could ask anything of You. There's nothing to say anything, one way or another. So for Your worries that Your "blindly" entering a covenant. I mean, You're starting a relationship with someone yet unknown. Obviously. Whether You then feel like getting baptized or not is another story still. Another 'step'. The alternative is to 'blindly trust the Forces that be'. Which also is You ... chosing passivity. Like ... "utilizing Your own wisdom". A.k.a. ... 'just exist and try to do stuff'.

Where either You 'get' 'divine wisdom' or not. I'd think that taking a look at the world offers a bit of insight in what the default is.


So yea ... I feel like all You ever do is ignore things even harder. "That's the name of the Game". And yea, if You want to play it, I don't get what I want and the Apocalypse has to wait. It would seem. "Check Mate"?

I guess. I mean ... I don't have it in me to ... be mean over other people's misfortune.

And I'll have to agree that it's a bit of an oversight or ... a bad plan ... but alas, I can look at the world and find a: "Are You proud of Yourself?".

I mean, is that it? Is "that" what we're doing now?


Like, let me guess: More and more of Your life is covered by lies and duplicity. You might hate on the Elite because there's enough right about that; Yet on the other side You're basically a part of it and You know that You're part of 'it' - whatever it is that You're 'against' - but it's OK somehow. "The end justifies the means". Well, what end? Something I'd have to blindly trust in?
Like ... how are we participating?
I mean, I'm a Trans person. You tell me I just have to get on board the Anti-Trans hype because ... that's what the means demand? I mean, I can tell that it's not real because I'm trans and "am" on board ... and accepted. So ... everything is good, right?

But meanwhile You're setting more fires, obscuring sober discussions, making them virtually impossible. So ... is that it?
Is that the plan?

"Oh, but a smart person can see that ..." can see what? I can see a Trans person bending over backward to let someone humiliate her to the face ... to entertain a crowd of hyenas. I see black people saying that Slavery ain't all that bad. Is that the Plan? Like ... "wait for it!"?

"You'll see!"

Well, nice to see that FINALLY I'm on the long end of the Lever with that fun little sentence.


So, what can a smart person see? A cult. A death cult. A cult of lies, deception and ... that's just the tip of the iceberg.


But what do I know? I mean, really. Can You tell?


But what to expect from "nothing" ... I mean, 'divine wisdom'?

Well ... what can I say? Looking at myself ...


To say that I'm offering You salvation ... that's already a little bit ... too far.
There are lots of things I want to apologize for, trying to do better, but when I get around to it I come to stop because a context flashes before my inner eye that amounts to a second guessing, thus re-evaluation of the situation.

To say that the "issue" at large amounts to "Sisyphean work" - where one thing leads to another and I end up in the nitty gritty of way too many "open fires" that ... it's not worth the effort. By the time one issue is fixed, two more have sprung up ... and so, rather than catching fish for You, I'd hope that You might learn how to catch fish as well.

Instead I find myself constantly "boxed" back into my own little world; And in there, in the comfort of my own, that's where God comes out ... . So I do what I do, whatever that might be. Play a Videogame or ... watch a Movie ... or binge a show ... and ever so often I get the impulse to write about something.


So, at the end of the day I'm just sharing my "work", my 'discoveries', realizations and such ... and it all revolves around God, redemption, salvation and such. Whatever these words mean, individually, that's ... neither here nor there. Each individual might have a different relationship with it; And preachers all around the globe ... well. Experience has me believe that they spend time thinking about these things and they end up with a variety of angles. That's why ... actually attending a sermon can be nice and uplifting.

Now, I'm not making an effort of not being a Preacher, I'm just not a preacher. I'm not part of a church ... so, there's really no routine.


So, what ends up happening is that God ... would seem to re-enforce this situation where I'm really just ... myself. No ... nothing else. No titles, no assumptions, just me. Another meatbag with an attitude.
Sortof. But ... let's say ... "the rest is private".
I mean, I don't want to get into it. I get that something is "off" here ... but I don't know what.
It doesn't matter. ***

And so ... what do I do? I contemplate the possibilities - but also: The reasons behind my failure. I mean, that's like ... the thing. I have a message ... but I don't know where to take it. Well, in some regards I don't know how to formulate it. My book isn't perfect, it certainly needs a revision, but the moment I think about it, I get sick.
And it really ... actually ... comes and goes like that.

And by sick I also mean that I can't even concentrate. I can't ... grasp the extent of what I'm trying to do ... and my head starts to spin.


But so ... who I am, maybe it shouldn't be an issue. "One way or another"? I mean ... as with that "Eden Story" ("Everyone can do that") ... "I feel like" a lot of the problems I face is that people ... read too much into it. I mean ... it might be silly; That I come as a naive Youngling - while they'd right away take me to court. And the Matrix thing? Well, they put up a show to prove that it can be done (I suppose) - and that's the end of that discussion. But it can't be done. But they don't care. "Proof of Concept".
Wow, that concept SUCKS!

And yes, I do in fact have something better.
How am I coming out on top of these arm-wrestling matches? That's like ... unheard of.
And I don't even need to invoke God!


So - literally, in actuality, bottom line: I'm just thrust into this situation. I mean, You reading these words ... is it just random chance? Well, if You're alone and just starting ... it maybe feels that way. ("Author's intuition"). But eventually we'd move past that, don't we? And then it's like ... I also have this and ... that ... and so and so ... so, I've done work. And it would be up to God to take You here. And with that ... well. Was it God? And if not? I mean, at some point it would be a human being. Either way ... it ends up ... being ... what it is. I ... let's say ... don't know who I am, what I am - or any such thing. I'm just ... me ... doing me.


So, in that regard what I want from You is to not be "that" stupid.


I mean, at some point ... sure. Acknowledgment for my work might be nice. That'd tell me that things are moving into a good direction. I mean, I know my work, what it contains and what it's about. If that bears fruit ... then yea! I'll celebrate that!
I've also ... sacrificed a lot. So, if it all paid out ... that too would be nice.

But alas ... people didn't ... . I mean, sure - eventually I'm a coward. If I were to go somewhere and people there wouldn't welcome me with open arms ... I'd already feel insecure. But ... given the situation ... I shouldn't be asked to go somewhere. I mean ... for what? Why? How? With what?
But also ... why? And sorry ... "why not" doesn't work here.

If God were to tell me "go here and so" - like, via an Angel or something solid ... then sure, I'd do it. But as it stands ... me being me seems to be the way.

I mean, what's the difference ... to You? Let's play this out: I do it. So ... there's still like ... 6 billion people left. What about them? So, can't I just produce someone who's like ... playing along? So ... no God, no miracle, just an act ... and that's what You want?

No. Of course it also has to be real ... but how would You know?


Sure You have to DARE. That's like ... the thing. Baptism. And based on what? Well, if You listen to me then You know ... that maybe You can connect with this God and come to your own conclusions about ... what does and what doesn't make sense.

Peace!

---

*** - it takes a while ... for seeds that God plants to grow. I mean ... I get an idea ... and maybe it soon vanishes with the everyday winds. Then it comes again, but this time it's a bit stronger. And eventually it's something I can properly grasp and at least somehow write about.
And this item ... me thinking of myself as a Goddess, His bride ... to kind of ... strip that from my text ... that would be a thing to do. But this isn't one of those 'seeds' that have grown into consciousness. It's just a random remark that here encourages me to take a fresh look ... and ... uhm.

I don't feel ... actually ... pressured to "drop it". I mean ... call it what You will, but if You get hung up over it - and don't see the Truth behind it ... I'd call that a You problem. And yea, it seems like we have a lot of those to go around. What's the alternative? I've checked myself ... hard and thoroughly ... time and time again. And all that I'm left with are ... You problems. Like ... seriously.

Do You have salvation? Do You know anything about it? Have You tried God?

What You might interpret as a "me" problem because You don't understand something ... is actually a You problem. Think of it this way: I might be the Antichrist. But as with the Bible, God has made sure that His truth remains. So ... if I were compelled to share it ... wouldn't I be interested in adding a little twist to it? To ... send You off? I wouldn't ... let me be fooled like that!

But ... no. And yea ... again. I don't know what it is, but I'm closer to Him than to the rest of You. And I'd think that my story is to show You ... why. In as much as You wouldn't think my story to be possible ... and it yet is what it is. But OK. If we were to ignore Clarity ... then I wouldn't have had an incentive to think of myself in these terms.

There's more ... and You can't tell me that I'm wrong. You can't ask of me to take it back. God doesn't make an effort to tell me so or do so. Best I can do is to say: OK, I'll deny it as hard as I can and will require God to convince me more thoroughly. Then God is like: "OK Sweetie" (well, I imagine) ... and I get a feeling I can quite literally translate into a sentence: "I hate my guts".

So, from there on ... everything is volatile, You can go fuck Yourselves even harder ... because ... now I'm not only stressed but also cranky and distracted. You might not be required to refer to me as her Majesty, but I reckon You'd feel as though I would.


BUT ... it's still weird. Also for me. I mean, it is an assumption. But it's one I'm forced to believe. Like ... by 'weird' I mean ... that ... technically we're yet to get married, like ... officially. And in that headspace ... I don't know how to feel about it. Like ... now that I get to brood over it some more, there's ... a difference that starts to show. Where, in first place, or again, we're not married "like that". I mean, that sort of marriage has my cooch get this weird feeling ... my body too ... and I'm mostly just confused. It certainly isn't THE feeling that's 'growing' or 'grown'. The difference then suggests that our partnership is more incidental. So, we don't need to get married, we ... kind of came out of the box like that. As it says "Mother, Wife AND Daughter" ... it's all of that. I was the first sign of life he encountered ... making me His Mother in a way. Wife ... because it's a partnership ... as in: For life. And we love each other. And we're like ... having a family and stuff. And a Daughter because ... He is God and I'm a creation.

A different path to the light is via scripture. So it states that He wants to make more of me ... than ... whatever the task at my hands would yield. So, in that picture I'm separated from You. I'm exalted. Like ... to be a Light for everyone. Which ... when highballing it ... makes me a class of my own. Well ... like Jesus but Jesus is Jesus. And this exaltation lines up with ... my Clarity ... and the ego it produces. Ignore the ways it might 'look' - and just realize that one way or another I'm looking down upon You, being put in a situation that is above and beyond You.

And if all that's left is for me to demand that You refer to me as her Majesty ... then, uh ... I suppose I'll have to do that. Except ... I don't like pissing demands into the ether. And also ... I don't like this idea of being 'above' You. Like ... Monarchically. So, this whole earthly monarchy nonsense with titles and stuff ... it's ... a power trip I assume. Where ... I might have my goons that would entitle me to do whatever I please and I'd ask You to humble Yourself before me while exalting me at the same time just because I can. Or need the acknowledgment or ... regiment of discipline that comes with it and whatever cruelties I envision.

If we want to bring Clarity back in, we can "neutralize" the specificity of my title and settle on "Royalty" in a way where ... I'm like Queen amidst a part of the whole. So, it's like ... a privilege still ... but at large it wouldn't have any real ... importance. It just is what it is. A social thing.

Plus whatever comes with it.

But ... yea. I don't like to be Blasphemed against and I'm under the impression that God is eager to persecute these transgressions with utmost zeal. Which means ... in a way ... God is serving me. I mean, for us little humans ... we wouldn't know the difference. I mean, He may serve me in as far as He serves all of us - and I'm just on top of the list. And ... what else would He do? I mean, wouldn't it be great if we could peace with Him?


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