Contemplating my Proxies

How is it written? Twelve Crowns? So, I have to select 12 Characters from Fiction to serve as Proxies? Well - there certainly are at first those that I would 'find' to be that. For this or that reason. And ... let's see if I can even get to 12.

Liliana Vess
Kai'Sa
Lara Croft
Yennefer
Rose (Street Fighter)
Chun Li
Poison Ivy
Fury (Darksiders)
Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix
Hellknight Ingrid
Taimanin Yukikaze
Freya (Ride of the Valkyrie)

So yea. Easy - in that I could still add a few. For them to 'stick' - as for how I care - there however is more than just some perceived ... something. So there has to be meaning, as otherwise it'd be just ... petty.

Generally I'd say that ... all I care about for now is Liliana. Would save me the headache of going through this. The rest would have to wait. Which might suck. But there I feel like ... it'd be a wasted opportunity.

Anyhow - the point being, well - for there to be one. Sure can we continue to do this whole "it's just fantasy" or 'delusions' thing - but in as far as some things that people might call delusional aren't ... there's a bit of a thing going on. So, let's get a few ... things jotted down.

1. Liliana Vess

Obviously - this is the one this whole thing is about, comes down to, such and such. We might call this one "the crown of envy". Pretty much tailored to my liking, it's almost like a trap. As of which one, such as me, might go to great lengths over.
In as far as she is the head-avatar here, she is the pivotal expression of what people contend with; When contending with me. As for how she works, there isn't much motion to it - but that's OK.
She isn't there to be sexual or sexualized beyond the superficial - as the markings on her skin are as far as that goes. When things have calmed down; And this symbol is no longer viable, things may change - but for now, she is as the foot I put down.

2. Kai'Sa

This one is in a sense the counterpart to Liliana. While Liliana represents the insurmountable odds that are me - Kai'Sa is the insignificant one that stands against seemingly insurmountable odds. "The Crown of Valor" we might say. In that regard, the Character is a lot more humble and vulnerable; Where as regarding my human side, that in turn reflects my divine onto Liliana.
When it comes to sex and pornography, I'm a bit ... conflicted here. But ... overall ... when it comes to which parts of myself I find expressed - Liliana is the only one that 'won't have it'. And maintaining the "mirror image" aspect also seems fair enough. As of that, I however think a few things should be respected.
For once her purity. In as far as Liliana is corporeally invincible, Kai'Sa is esoterically invicible - as to the extent of some freakish immortality.

3. Lara Croft

Lara is the first one on this list - chronologically speaking - that I found a semblance with. So at least in the abstract where I was going through old scriptures and figuring things out. In that sense, sure, she's like "the Crown of Wisdom".
With her, we're however also starting to dive away from the worldly qualms, and onto sexualization add fetishiziation.
This aligns with the matter of wisdom, which is in herently impure. Wisdom extends from taking all things into consideration; and does in that sense only resist mutilation and mortality, as it so likes to be forever young, forever growing - forever ... graceful, only to be humbled by the hardness of what is real, as it were.

4. Yennefer

Yes, the Witcher series is Cringe if you can't stand Smut. Though the books I've read are mature enough to not be Smut; And do a very good job at contrasting its yet very inherent smuttiness against the harsh of reality. And that goes well with what I thought this crown should be - a.k.a. "the Crown of Mystery". So is its smut somehow stored away in the background material, the fantasy that emerges based on the relationships between its Characters. And Yennefer ... accentuates that quite well. She embodies it. She's the one that would show you just enough to get your mind working, though wether or not it ever got any more than that is another story.
Here we further have another addition to the series of Characters that have some dynamic between them - and as a part of me that means that they eventually combine to a greater whole. Sure, eventually all of them would combine into the greater whole of me - but at this point Lara would be an example of one I'd see a little bit more separated from 'that'. Well, either separates well enough to be on their own, but ... in as far as Liliana and Yennefer would for instance synergize along the lines of Necromancy or Sorcery - there's that kind of Linkage. So when it comes to fighting, Kai'Sa comes in - and at that point there isn't much that Lara would really add to that mix; As Kai'Sa does what Lara can just more and better.
On a similar note is Yennefer similar to Liliana, in that there is a superficial element that conceils an internal one. Though we might say that this concerns whatever fantasy one might project onto her - the Aura of Mystique implies a general tone of consent or familiarity onto that.

5. Rose

At this point it might be worth highlighting the problem, that there is no blonde in the List. That is fair enough for I'm not Blonde IRL; And so ... there is a certain consistency to my Proxies. Red hair is however canonically an element of what I used to call "my center" - which is also canonically the part of me that is dedicated to "the Devil". So, that therefore has an extra point of significance. I further got to mention that because, well: I assume it didn't matter before I would come to it - and as it stands, I came to it here. In that sense I'm led to highlight Cammy as an alternative.
Maybe first of all in terms of Street Fighter Mains of mine. Rose and Cammy thereby share a similar story, in that I would originally glance past them. It was at some point into Street Fighter IV that I came to pick up on her - and the same is valid for Cammy as of Street Fighter V. As for how I feel about myself - the two also complement eacho ther in style - as to what we might call "the Crown of Prowess". And as for how my internal situation is aligned, Blonde and Black hair are opposed to each other - Blonde being more extroverted and Black hair respectively more introverted. So is the Blonde generally "the Queen" and the Black Haired "the Spiritual/Cleric("Nun")".
Sexually the issue were, that this aspect doesn't lend itself too well to the sexual. They're more so the internal aspect of the superficial; And so for being aligned to the part of me that resists, they also don't synergize all that well with matters of rape. Their in-game Lore also has an established fiendship with the Villains ... and for as long as they remain villains there's also no reconciling that. So, what remains are the dark forces - I would assume - say, Akuma/Oni - although here there's also a different form of wrongs at play, that is however not as prominently featured in media. I'd argue that this is because that evil shares a root with an artists wishful thinking. So the whole "the hero gets the girl" thing; Which ... isn't quite that easy IRL, as for that to work we wouldn't be able to freely love. And yes, being able to freely love ... is a bit of a mixed bag.
So, that being said - there is still a natural linkage with sexuality in that this prowess is the part of me that is the contrasting value or flavor of my sexual devotion. However not ... for the villains of the story. At least the story of the mortal world.

6. Chun-Li

Chun-Li may be the first Character I had a Waifu Crush on. Back then she embodied my Dream-"Girl" as it were. Although I'm not really sure why. As I grew older, things also changed. Artist's interpretation of her diverged from mine - on the one hand that is - and I on the other hand started to experience my fixation on Brunettes as somewhat limiting. So, eventually she faded into the background for me, though on the other hand, parts of her would awaken within me. All that culminated in some porn of her - which is what brought her onto this list, effectively. And so there's also a transition. So, from me being attracted to her, to me being her. In a sense. So is there a theme of death and incarnation; And that extends into my sexual side here - as ... for a romanticizing of them. As you might find this stance towards her to be somewhat passive, you're right. That is certainly the case here. Which is why I think it's fitting to describe this as "the Crown of Inspiration".
For - in light of fetishes such as snuff/dolcett, humiliation/brainwashing - she's definitely on this list. And while some might find this to be disturbing, there's still "the other Chun-Li" - a.k.a. ... the one that is more postively inspiring - which is by virtue of the matter inherently 'beyond' these kinds of things. Like "alternate timeline" kind of beyond.
As is inspiration - in a sense. Transcendentally Untouchable.

7. Poison Ivy

Does she belong on the list? Maybe? Well. The way I feel, she doesn't not belong on the list. I am not a big DC fan, so, my connection with this Character is as superficial as it gets. I reckon though that she's canonically Lesbian; As of which she might be "the Crown of Romance" - at least, that's where my head went with this; And in hindsight that aligns well with her nature - as ... being permeated by it. I guess alters of her would be Zyra from League of Legends, but perhaps more importantly Alice from the Resident Evil movies. While Romance to me however is all about Rape - that doesn't fit here, as the Rape, the Lust and all that - that is comprehended within "the nature of the beast" as it were. In that sense the entire sexual angle is abstracted into something that isn't sexual - similar to the carvings on Liliana's skin.
Alternatively she might also be "the Crown of Beauty" - which to me ... so ... beauty and romance ... share enough in common to be somewhat the same.
Similarly is there again an adversarial relationship towards aspects of the world, this time however one that can't be easily categorized into good or evil.
She does so have a lot in common with Liliana - enough perhaps to see her as an Alter to her, though perhaps more focused on the aspect of beauty. Well. I'll reserve this one as a potentially vacant spot.

8. Fury (Darksiders)

Same thing. Even more so considering that I don't even have much of a claim. But, for why she's part of the line-up, I really like her Character. And how she develops as such during the plotline of the game. Eventually there then however is a conflict with Envy, where - yea - I've also been vocal about it, that I see Envy as a bit of an ally - for as long as it doesn't get toxic. Because Darksiders 3 is thematically about the 7 deadly sins - there so is this other Envy. And on that matter, the matter of the two Envies, does the "original" Evny resemble my concept of a Hellfire Nun/Night-Mare. Not too too much, but ... in all that, Fure makes for a great "the Crown of Character".
Sexually, well ... I'd argue that she transcends that matter. There is certainly room for imagination, considering how the story ends; And that'd be that. I suppose. Possibly another potentially vacant spot.

9. Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix

As for the first definitive Redhead on the list - what I find is a common trend between the Redheads on it. Be it "the nature of the beast" or "Fire and Fury" - these are things somewhat external to me; But things that gel nicely with me. Which is like ... if my spirit had a hole ... that would be what fills it. And ontop of it all the Phoenix Force, as the divine component to it. So would this be "the Crown of Divinity". And in that sense I find reason in keeping the three seperate, as they at the very least make a good trio - as for the "You don't mess with a God" elements that Liliana would only cover in the abstract.
So is here also not much to be said about sexuality. Not until we add "the Literal Devil" in the sense, as in - as is the Phoenix Force - when breaking the fourth wall. "But we'll get to that".
For now, I suppose, just to maintain the theme, let's mark this as another potentially vacant spot.

10. Hell-Knight Ingrid

As for the first proper Pornographic Character on the list, I have to note that I filled these one from the bottom up. So, she's effectively the third on that List. As the other two, she isn't much of a Character when it comes to mainstream presence - so, just another Hentai Slut/Harlot. You might find the Anime a bit disturbing - and I also have some issues with it. But because that is what defines her - that's ... what I have to go with ... and that's also kind-of why she's on this list. So, when it comes to sex and pornography, there isn't much left to say. It's all in there. Well ... enough I'd say.
She's however mostly here for flavor; And in that regard - well, how many vacants do I have? 3. So ... takes the spot of ... quite a few possible alternatives. Ish. But further also has the potential to consume Liliana/Yennefer alongside Kai'Sa and Rose/Cammy, as ... the first fight-scene of the Anime would show. I mean, between Rose and Cammy there's already a combo of Strength and Agility - two sides classically kept separate because of balancing issues. I find it ... curious or neat at least ... that these things come together here. Like so, "my D&D Character" might add some more to that as ... that would be a legitimate Character built from a set of rules I'd argue are meant to facilitate individual expression of that sort. There I be: A Divine Soul Sorcerer - Yuan Ti (raised by Dwarves) - Multi-Leveling into Fighter, more specifically: Echo-Knight. Primary Stats are: Charisma, Dexterity and Strength. So, in that system, Wisdom is sadly ... the lowest. But well. The Sorcery mainly encompasses basic healing and mobility - so, Fly and especially Thunderstep are a core aspect of the build. Holy Weapon is thereby like ... as low as I'd go with the Sorcerer part. But well. As I couldn't have it all ... Dex seems to be the better choice, though Str should be at the minimum for at least Half-Plate armor and two-handed Sword fighting.
That aside however ... Ingrid has Amber eyes; And generally would be a great "the Crown of Flair and Flavor". Or The Crown of Amber Eyes ... which just happen to be something ... I thoroughly resonate with. They are - to me - a Gift from God. Yet, as a Redhead she might fall off the list. But well, what alternatives are there? I don't know.
As for the Plot of the Anime - obviously she's fond of Black. And obviously that's ... more central to her Character than what transpires throughout the four episodes. Which is certainly ... perfectly in line with my relationships - as for my role outside of them. So, think of it as ... Black used Ingrid as bait - and don't think too much about whether it makes sense or not. It's Porn after all.

11. Taimanin Yukikaze

So, to not talk around the bush, this one would be "the Crown of Growth" - to not say Childhood or Youth or Youngness. Obviously she isn't as young as could be, possibly just as young as sensible here; And in that regard ... something along these lines has to be on the List - and the story aligns pretty well with my relationship to Nyx.

12. Freya (Ride of the Valkyrie)

This, "the Crown of Motherhood", is also pretty self-explanatory. "Enjoy".