An ... experiment of sorts
So ... last year I've been on a trip to Bavaria - and there something happened. I then went on to take a photo, which ... as it stands ... is as a culmination of some paranoia that had been brewing for some time.So, being tight with God, feeling as though I'm on a mission, but being confronted with seemingly insurmountable odds that would make me feel utterly impotent - I couldn't help but drift off into episodes of magical thinking.
Being taunted, merely by the circumstance of the world even, didn't help that. On and off I would fantasize about developing some kind of superpower - and what I might do. Watching the politics of the last decade unfold ... didn't help that either.
One of the thoughts that ocurred eventually stuck around and festered. And it might be best to just take you to the point. So, on that trip, we had overall awesome weather. But one day we returned to our ... what's it? Cottage? Stay? Well ... that ... and I was really hyped to chill in the sun, but there was this cloud. And the issue with clouds often is ... they tend to block the sun when they cross the path. To ... not be too pessimistic about it. For, back then, I was. I so had to rant about it, anticipating that it would probably circle around in front of the sun - blocking it - while the rest of the sky was perfectly blue. You know, as if it was there - specifically to annoy me. Murphey's Law style. Like: If there is only one tiny cloud in the sky - it is right in front of the sun, so-to-speak.
But ... what happened ... is that it happened as I had predicted. So, after an hour or so ... it looked like this:
So, obviously I'm talking about the power of words it seems. And yea, the ... belief in miracles, or some kind of reliance on their existence, has been thoroughly burned out of me over the course of the years. Except ... well ... things that ... may or may not be that - sotospeak. The point for me being to let God do His thing - as I clearly didn't understand what to make with or of myself.
I mean, I've been there. In the military. Talking about my faith and getting it through that I didn't have to cut my hair because I was a Nasirite. I was so convinced, for plenty of good reasons - albeit faulty reasoning it would seem - that I took a bet. That I would, God willing, split water as Moses did, so that ants could walk in-between. Well, God wasn't willing. In hindsight I suppose I could have cheated. I had the idea right there. So, take a cup, dip it into the water - put the water next to the bowl - et voila, bet won. I tried, taking a dust-shovel ... but I didn't mean to elaborate. That wasn't what I had set out to do, so ... I wouldn't allow myself to get off the hook like that - and hence I had to cut my hair.
So is there this odd situation ... that on the one hand there might be more and on the other less - to my faith ... as for how I think of it or what I make of it.
So is there something about talking things into existence; And if it's just delusions. But obviously, if that were to be my take ... I might be on the "making to little of it" side of things.
So, I suppose ... I feel like I have a power and the world is my playground ... right now. So, I might be ... starting like that: The crime capital of the world will suffer a major crippling catastrophy this year!
Just so ... to have like an upper margin of sorts. Of course it might be ... vague, like, what if that crime capital is some backwater nobody ever heard of? Well, at that point we might have a lot of maybe or whatever, but nothing definitive. We could hope it happened - but ... I suppose I'd be pissed at myself if I hadn't checked that box.
I mean, I don't think that all things I'd say would just happen. To say, at the end of the day, there's something to the powers that be - as for how things develop over time - that there's a range of possible outcomes ... barring any sort of magical influence. The previous statement thereby falls into that ... though I wouldn't know how much of a "Final Destination Factor" it'd take. To say, FDF>=1 is ... "illegal", I assume.
But so we're also not talking of 'prophecy' here. More like ... 'self-fulfilling prophecy' ... except ... better?
And sure, leave it up to a human to think of destruction first, when it comes to power. But sure, I guess I learned it from somewhere. Speaking of plagues ...
As the previous statement may be a bit ambiguous - or not, who knows? - and the point obviously is that organized criminality, the bad of it, will suffer a crippling blow - there is a case to be had for being a bit more precise. Speaking of Christian Fascism in the USA, or conservatives. It should however be apparent that their shit is falling apart, so it wouldn't seem like much of a miracle. Which is however basically what we're looking for. The difficulty however is in ... figuring out how that might look like, while also trying to avoid collateral.
For, if I'm off enough for nothing to come of it, I'd be just making a fool of myself. And that's not what we want. We want that Big ... STFU energy to come accross. I mean, I need it. And on that point, I'm going to look amazing as that concludes. To the envy of all of my enemies. Of course. And friends. There isn't really a need for such distinctions in this regard.
But - well. I mean, the Bible does give me a bit of a ... base-level shield of sorts, we might say. And yea, I mean, people who quarrel with me ... haven't seen any in a while. Except those that hide behind their cameras and "facts" attacking us by making useful idiots throw themselves at us. They and the politicians and business people that make up this vile conservative/capitalistic cabal ... I want to see them as a gift. For to be an artwork. An ode to the beauty of catharsis. A crash so epic and wonderful ... you know ... "just like poetry" ... . Because first of all there are all those faces that talk like they're beyond reproach ... and we all like to see them humbled somehow. Yet it's difficult to picture that, as per some "equal and opposite reaction" type of thing, as they can't get off too easy. So, saying that it's not just them ... while accurate ... feels already as a bit too much of a mercy.
And then, judgment is a complicated thing. To be fair and balanced. Because ... we're human. And while we're prone to think in adversarial terms, that's not what we're there for. If there is such a thing. I mean, if we so are all each other's enemies - that's bad. But ... ever so often ... well. We're here, in this world, for a variety of reasons, respective to our individual backgrounds. We have our own struggles - and as there is a right and good ... there is what is directed against that. For more or less egregious reasons. And while judgment is to get into the nitty gritty of that, consequences ... of the cosmic kind ... work a little differently.
The Book of Mormon speaks of the America's as some kind of chosen land. It thereby eludes to the ... now apparent fact ... that wickedness will take roots there, but also that it will be swept away. The thing that strikes me about it, is that there are people that are so densely ignorant - it seems as though it would take a miracle to properly ... let's say ... show them the way. And I'm sure there are plenty of people that roughly fit that description accross the globe, but - there are those that are effectively in league with that conservative/capitalistic cabal.
And that now being the target - for some Karmic Poetry - will see its mouth shut and extremities crippled - so that anyone kindof a part of it but far enough away to not be directly affected, will know not to get involved with their nonsense. And to some of them -
Thereby I'm a bit inspired by the Greta Thunberg versus Andrew Tate thing. I just love how that went down. And yea, it does kinda hurt to think about it, or well ... hurt is the wrong word. Difficult. As - the changes required, as per how deep the rot goes within our societies, ... there's no real easy way to get there. On the other hand there's the "the Sandman problem" - as per the Netflix show (I don't know much about its source material); The part where the guy wishes all people to be honest. So, to name a few Karmic boundaries: Climate Change Denial, Homophobia, Transphobia, Misogyny, and Racism - there's a good chance we wouldn't see the light of day if every ever so slight transgression would be severely punished. Then there's another list - say, the one which Misandry is on. The other side of the coin, equally valid but ... complicated within the dynamics. So is there a balance that needs to exist - for one problem to not replace the other.
But I think eventually the story ought to be one along the lines of showing who owns whom, as in terms of power plays. And in that sense, Men are obviously going to remain to be the dominant class - or at least a protected class. That includes Trans-men and not trans-women. But obviously there are things they shouldn't do. So, eventually it might take something like a zap or a lightning strike, depending on ... how fun or not fun something is.
The picture in the esoteric sense is, that everything tends to be a bit chaotic - and in terms of positives and negatives, both can accumulate, become storms - and either can turn into the opposite. So, as for the Karmic Boundaries, I'd put "being too much of a "bitch"" on it as well - rather than misandry - as a minor offense - to declare ... 'the First Karmic Esoteric Balancing Act' to be effective immediately.
:/. .... Hmm. I mean. OK ... it is as it is. Like said in Jurassic Park: Life will find a way. And the way is to lead somewhere. A better tomorrow for everyong - at least those worthy of it. So, what we're talking about is that there needs to be an appropriate amount of force to nudge us into the right direction where necessary; And where things are explicitly negative ... strictly and decisively so.
Which maybe has to suck - for some at least - but if things were to just go as they used to ... it'd suck even more.
And so, things have to remain a little bit vague. That because what we need is understanding ... rather than beurocracy.
I mean, beurocracy has its upsides for sure. Like so, is this still to a pretty massive extent about me. Even if only so indirectly. Give or take. And effectively I only want to do this once. And it seems vital, that people understand where this is coming from. I mean, I want unity, without the schizophrenia. And the Bible, I read it so that God put me here as "a covenant" of sorts. To say that I have a reserved place in the cosmic spotlight. So, disrespect against me is disrespect against the/a Goddess - the Queen of Heavens - and to respect her is to respect me. And obviously that's what's up, or going to be up, these days and the days to come. At the very least until the prophecy regarding the rolling stone has concluded - and thereafter ... we're not talking as much of a need for it anymore. But that will be then.
Anyway. The story however is this: Isaiah gives me a certain belief in some kind of Karmic justice that revolves around me as an individual. So far I however found the effects of that as somewhat lacking or insatisfactory. But that's also somewhat written there. "I have laboured in vain" ... is it written. Naturally there's a build-up for things to fully unfold. And the more I would provoke people into opposing me or maybe at this point more importantly: challenging my position - the more ... this Karmic Justice can get rolling. If "they" understand that, and I'm sure they do, they'll try to circumnavigte that. Respectively I will need to require more respect. The respect I deserve. Or to so be a bit more upset about that disrespect. And so I have a funny idea. Some kind of curse perhaps that would have people amass misfortune - until they humble themselves before me and ask for forgiveness. And because the Bible means us to bless our enemies, rather than curse them, let's call it: "the blessing of humility before the queen".
I like the Karma approach more however. To have things just play out in such a way, that people know that it's a bad idea to disrespect me. Naturally excluding those that are part of the divine family. Here we want to play different games and in that regard things get a bit blurry, but that's a different story.
So, rather than making it a blessing or a curse, I'd say ... there ought to be some Karmic need for some people, perhaps everyone to varying degrees, to humble themselves before me. For the higher, macro level of justice/balance we need.
Eventually however we also want to build trust. Trust being pretty foundational to a working, healthy society. It's like how the body couldn't work if its pieces were in disarray. And there eventually is the struggle over who gets to "command our unity". Which, sure, eventually is a broader topic. One full of the potential for dipshit politics it would seem. Like, might I eventually take a turn towards the authoritarian? Well, sure. To "command our unity" - some authority would be necessary. Authority however, in that sense, is usually a matter of trust, fear, potentially coercion and compensation, that sort of stuff. And when we rally against authoritarianism - I think trust is really what it all boils down to. Be it distrust unto the ruling authority, or the belief that with trust in each other we could do better. And when people start wielding power in order to "get there" - I suppose there's always a sense of "if I only had the chance to prove myself".
Now, in that regard - I'm special because I DO in effect have to prove myself - somehow. That's what the Matrixing stuff is all about. But, as the "the Hobbit" bit from April 2020 (the 8th) came to highlight, none of what happens there on the screen does actually get to hurt anyone. Or such. It seems as though people have way too easy of a time to just deflect and ignore these things. And in that regard I/we can "Season 1 Part 26 "Let me show you some real magic"" all day long - or whatever to the tune of
And sure. In as far as trust is earned - I do my best to do so. As it goes: "But in the end I'm only human". It's certainly true, no doubt about it, but maybe insisting on it too much is selling myself a little short. Which may lend itself to the question of what it means to be human. What our potentials are. How would we know - if all we know is to be held down by dipshits that seem to be only capable of minding their own interests versus any kind of better knowledge.
And as they'd spin the narrative, I'd probably be some vile evil force that strikes humanity with plagues in demand of being worshiped. And yea ... I mean, this:
Well. Maybe rather than building trust, we want to 'have' trust - and an essential part thereof is to know where to find it. And that has nothing to do with me - but is between you and the most High. My good man. And I can't say that I don't like the position I find myself thrust into here. I suppose it has been hinted at for some time now. And to step up our game, there comes to be a new spin to the concept of being your own fortune's smith.
Anyhow. For how this works - my problem is that there may be a chance that I be humiliating myself here. As back in the day. It's not like I could say: Israel, Turkey, Russia, Texas and Florida shall be struck with 4 month of bad weather! And expect it to happen. I'd be standing there, saying that, and nothing would come of it. And then what?
If it were that easy, I might as well just go Super Saiyan and take a more direct approach to this.
And why not? Well - because though this is all about me - the part that matters is the part that is about you. Or us as a collective. Where there is pain in the 'us'. Right? I mean, at least that everyone seems to agree on. Depending on how generous one wants to be regarding whom 'us' is to refer to.
But so, in other words, the issue is that I'm possibly hiding behind my own incompetence. Too scared to ... well, face the inevitable, as it were. I get to think about it ever so often, but it's not like I know what to even do. And so I come forth here to see what I 'can' do - within what I perceive to be the scope of my ability or how we want to call it.
To so give God the chance to lift His strong arm. Here following the idea, that I might have to play a role therein.
What I expect of course is that there's going to be disbelief. Doubts. Because ... that's the only solution to a mind bent against the right way. And that's where the Karmic Justice comes in. And I came to extend myself here a little - so, that ... the surface area of what this Karmic Justice entails is a bit more ... satisfying.
And to that extent, as a bit of a side-note, I think I also have to write a little something about Liliana Vess. Because: "Trust me! You don't wanna mess with me!" - has to mean something. It started off as a silly idea or a little bit of a play; And at the long end I, in a way, found myself accused of idolizing her. Maybe a bit too much. Or however one might want to phrase it. Like, is she a symbol of capitalism maybe? Or in defense of a corporation hiking off the deep end? Which reminds me: I did maybe put some kind of curse on WotC/Hasbro; Where while line went up, trust went down. I didn't like what I saw back then - and felt like my opinion mattered. Now I look at it - esoterically speaking - and I don't know to what end. It is in a way a micro-cosm to the things at large; And I feel like taking Liliana and turning her into Professor Onyx was the smart thing to do, by the way. Better safe than sorry.
The way I see it, people are stuck with this game. And that's not a problem. The problem would be that it isn't a problem. That so with art and culture there's a kind of toxicity that has developed; And neither side is willing to let go. So is the consumer in the unfortunate position, that they don't have much of a say in it. What goes down goes down - and then may be lost for good. As it so is with civilization at large. And then it were the ordinary people that had to suffer the stupidity of those in power. Like so when people start to turn what is supposed to be fun into money printers. And there we're at some kind of impass. It's like we're held hostage. And because it's supposed to be fun, we aren't allowed to take it seriously. And so I wonder what I can do there.
I mean, it's a bit like programming; Where I have to figure out how much I can get away with. Or sneak in. Or whatever. I however do feel compelled to lift my curse on the game, because I don't see it doing much good. But in the spirit of this will however regard Liliana Vess as one of my Personas. Which shall serve as Proxies for myself.
To so make it official.
Hmm ... this shall not extend onto Alters, nor unto the process of Altering - unless the intent is disrespectful. At that point the person requesting the Alter is liable. Bonds of disrespectful alters can be broken by burning the card in question.
Should one suffer a bond of disrespect that cannot be resolved that way, they can redeem themselves by a tattoo of my name or one of my Proxies.
Because - it matters. We all want to have fun somehow ... and being all uppity over whom I may or may not identify with ... or arguing over who is better at being this or than than me ... obviously is a form of politics at some point because it throws shade my way. And I'd also rather have these things be resolved before people start getting silly ideas over copyrights and legality. This isn't to say that I'm above the Law, but to say that the Law is a tool. And before people would use it against me, I'd rather they rethink their life's choices.
So, yea - "game time!" - we might say.
And - as for my own life's choices ... [here] some initial ... guidelines? ... preferences? ... contemplation on the matter of my Proxies.
My point of contention there however is that ... it's somewhat off topic. A lot of theory and fantasizing and what not later ... we're back here where I have to remind you that IRL ... this document is effectively the chainveil. So, the Chainveil enhances its wearers power, but apparently also inflicts a lot of pain. Pain that Liliana apparently isn't really phased by. Pain that here translates into "the nature of the beast" as it were - that I lean out of my comfort zone, being somewhat irrational, pretending or playing make-belief if you so will, at least in the abstract. I'm almost certain that this will haunt me - for as long as I'm oblivious about what ought to transpire in the wake and unfolding of this. So that I might regret this, being deeply ashamed and burdened by having been so stupid. "The Pain". Pain I however am not unfamiliar with - and so, it'll be alright - I assume. I mean, sadly I can't just spell all of that away. That's not how it works. I'm sure.
Anyway. The story here is certainly a bit phantastical. Just as ... as I so was complaining about that cloud, someone suggested to me that I should perhaps just tel it to go away. So I did. And so it did. And at the end of the day, that's kinda cool ... and ... It'd be a shame if nothing good came of it.
But it seems like ... I need to add some nuance to the Karmic Esoteric Balancing Act - as ... obviously there's a problem as we get to the inversions of those terms. So, say, homophobia, transphobia or misogyny in form of Kinks. But - so - Jesus is your Friend. It is within Him, that we are no longer subjects to the Law, but subjects to His Mercy.
And that's that. I'll take a break now; And ponder upon whether or not I should publish this as it is - or not.
Or I'll just write a part 2 ...